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    • NO JUDGMENT: BE HONEST AND KIND WITH YOURSELF

      An excerpt from The Clutter Remedy: A Guide to Getting Organized for Those Who Love Their Stuff,

      by Marla Stone

      Decluttering effectively requires self-honesty, since the goal is to remove from your home whatever is inauthentic, out of date, and burying or blocking your authentic self and aspirations. As you do, little and big gems of understanding will fall into your lap, astounding and dazzling you. Clearing up hazy half-truths and stupefying, self-defeating behaviors clears the path to becoming a champion and builder of your empire.

      Ironically, one of the things people discover is how they could have fooled or misled themselves about their own lives, often with good intentions, yet in very unsettling ways. Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy are innocent, well-meaning untruths, but as a child
      I remember feeling a little squeamish when I realized I had been duped. Since then, it’s made me wonder: Do these early fictions teach us that it’s okay and sometimes preferred to lie and dupe ourselves? To tell “little white lies” or say yes when we want to say no? To pick a career that does not interest us because parents or society convince us that it is the only way to succeed? Or to choose a particular path because we think it will be the only thing we will be good at? Are we supposed to deny what we enjoy because others will judge us or we believe it’s wrong? When people are confused about what they want in life, the Clutter Remedy is an excellent process for recognizing personal truth.

      For this reason, I always advise people to approach decluttering from the stance of “no judgment.” See clearly, be honest, and avoid blame. Foster unconditional love and regard for yourself. Be kind, no matter what you discover. By going through this process, you’ve committed to remedying the accumulated clutter in your space, and this usually requires seeing and addressing your inner clutter: the issues, emotions, pain, and untruths that led to it. No one, including yourself, is allowed to judge you, criticize you, or complain about how much you own, how you collected it, or what you will keep. No one should be eyeing your stuff for themselves. It’s your stuff and nobody else ’s business. Accepting your clutter as you find it, without feeling shame or regret, is the optimal stance. This will help you see more clearly and will help you recognize any negative patterns and attitudes that you will want to work through prior to going through all your stuff. Focusing on blame and getting mired in judgment will only stress you out and bog you down.

      One thing that helps make the experience fun and uplifting is to remember that everything you own was chosen for a reason. You acquired things with good intentions; they were useful or they served a purpose or you simply loved them. So when you look at your possessions objectively, ask yourself, “Why is this in my real estate? Why did I think this was a good idea?” You could have chosen certain items because they reminded you of good times. Or they were expensive items that conveyed a certain status you desired. We buy and keep items for lots of reasons. Some items you find during decluttering will remain useful and serve a purpose and still be loved, while some will make no sense at all. Remaining nonjudgmental and enthusiastic rather than ashamed
      and befuddled over your stuff is easier when you see how it relates to your core values. Remember, the goal of decluttering is to create an organized, satisfying, and productive lifestyle.

      Marla Stone, MSW, is the owner of I-Deal-Lifestyle Inc., which provides decluttering, design, corporate training, and lifestyle coaching services. She is a former social worker and psychotherapist turned professional organizer who helps people live an ideal lifestyle by getting to the root of their mental, emotional, spiritual, and environmental challenges. She lives in Orange County, California. More information at www.i-deal-lifestyle.com

      Excerpted from the book The Clutter Remedy. Copyright © 2019 by Marla Stone. Printed with permission from New World Library.

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    • Double Vision: Does Smoking Inhibit Our Power as Healers?
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      About six months ago, I got interested in energy healing and got some training in Reiki and other methods. I should mention at this point that I’m a smoker. I believe that we create our own realities, so I believe that if a person believes they will be healthy and live a long life, they can eat what they want, drink and smoke, etc., and they will still remain healthy. Do you think this is true? People seem to be shocked when they learn that I’m a healer but I smoke!

      – Cheryl

      Dreamchaser:

      If you REALLY think something is true on every level – mental, emotional, spiritual, physical, conscious, subconscious, higher self, lower self, etc. – then you have to believe that it is true for you. That is all that should matter to you. Obviously, you must have some doubts, or you would not have come here to ask this question in the first place.

      As far as health issues go, mass consciousness often has a stronger influence than just our influence alone. For example, we were told that saccharine causes cancer. Now however, researchers have recanted and say it is fine. For the longest time, people ran around thinking they were going to get cancer because they had consumed saccharine, and some even did.

      Mass consciousness WILL affect you if you let it. However, if you believe 100 percent that you will be fine, then you will be fine.

      Your higher/inner self is the REAL ruler here. It will tell you what you should do. There have been lots of times I have personally chosen something I thought I wanted that my inner self was saying I should not have. I learned the hard way.

      When I listen to my gut, I am always in perfect harmony with what is. I do believe your gut is kicking up on you, or you would not be here asking this question.

      You need to ask yourself why you believe you need to smoke and drink. That is the real issue, not whether or not you CAN smoke and drink. It is an addiction, so it rules you – you do not rule it. You justify this habit by saying, I can create my world. Well okay – create what you want with people who question your habits.

      As a healer, you have to consider your example to those around you. Would you advocate one of your patients smoking and drinking while you were trying hard to give them healing? If a medical doctor came walking in the exam room with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth, telling you what you needed to do in order to be healthy, would you take him seriously on any level?

      Also, as a healer, you are responsible for creating a healthy environment for yourself and those around you. You can mess up your world all you want, but when you smoke around other people, you are affecting THEIR world. Secondhand smoke is deadly. We know this – it has been proven.

      If you were talking to your child, what advice would you give to that child? If you can say to your child, If your belief system is that you will be okay, then I am okay with you smoking and drinking, then you can say that to yourself as well. You are talking to a child you know – you are talking to your own inner child.

      I wish you reassurance.

      *****

      Astrea:

      Ancient cultures often smoked tobacco and other substances to create visions. Plants of that kind were and still are used for medicinal purposes. Even thousands of years ago, however, they knew that these substances could be very dangerous, and they didn’t use them on a daily basis either to invoke euphoria or to escape ordinary reality.

      We live in modern times with intense advertising encouraging us to use substances that are bad for us both spiritually and physically. We still have free choice, however, on whether we want to be a victim of that advertising and become an addict.

      For the record, I smoked from 1962 until June 28, 1976. The way I quit was to dump a pack of cigarettes out and roll up 20 one-dollar bills. Every time I felt I needed to smoke, before I did, I had to burn one of the dollars. I had to roll it up and set it on fire. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t burn the money.

      I quit smoking abruptly this way, and with each cigarette I didn’t smoke, I put the dollar in a shoe box and replaced the one in the pack. I still have all 20 of those cigarettes. When I felt I was free of the addiction, I looked in the shoe box, and I had six hundred dollars! That took about three months.

      In order to heal others, a person has to eliminate disempowering dependencies. The healer has to call the God Force to his or her person and transfer it to the person who is requesting healing.

      The body is a temple that is easily polluted to the point of uselessness. So is the spirit. It will be weakened further every time you light up. Addiction to drugs of any kind prevents a person from being able to heal others.

      Tobacco has particularly nasty spiritual side effects, and it makes your hair and clothes smell horrible. Smoke and energy linger. I could never get past that smell with a healer who smoked. Most people pick up the negative vibrations from the odor, and that’s enough to turn them off.

      Tobacco calls negativity to it no matter where it is, and all those vibrations might transfer to your client. Nicotine alters natural reality and puts you in disharmony with your body. It will put your victim into the SAME disharmony. You can certainly choose to use tobacco, but if you do, please don’t attempt to be a healer. Drug addicts can’t heal others. Why would you inflict that energy on others under the guise of healing?

      If you find it impossible to heal yourself of your nicotine addiction, then please don’t endanger others by telling yourself you can help them. Please don’t be that irresponsible! At least be mindful of our safety if you can’t be of your own.

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