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by Renée Peterson Trudeau

As most great spiritual teachers tell us, we only ever have two choices in how we approach our lives and day-to-day interactions: from fear or from love.

When we come from our hearts, and relationships are viewed through the eyes of love, we

• trust - and allow those we love to follow their unique path (even if we don't agree);
•  practice acceptance and let go (of homework struggles with our kids, of who's right, and so on);
• listen from our hearts in our interactions and respond in the moment;
• communicate openly and are more receptive and flexible;
• come from a prosperity mindset and see that there is always enough time, attention, space and resources;
• see everyone's true essence, who they really are, not how they're acting in the moment; and
• slow down and experience gratitude for all that happiness.

When relationships are viewed through the eyes of fear, we

• try to control, manipulate, and micromanage people and situations, thinking we always know best;
• think things are good only when they're going our way;
• operate from our heads all the time - over-thinking and over-managing;
• become reactive and become easily triggered;
• react negatively and see problems first, instead of acknowledging what's good;
• come from a poverty mindset and feel there is never enough; and
• punish, judge and close ourselves off from others

Reading these lists, who wouldn't want to choose love over fear? We prefer to expand and open rather than contracting, shutting ourselves off from one another and from feeling good. Learning to do so, however, involves cultivating awareness and consciously choosing to come from love moment to moment. This takes time, and for most of us, lots of practice.

Recently, I was challenged to step outside my own habitual reactive behavior. My husband asked me to coach him as he prepared for his upcoming performance review. This is something I used to get paid big bucks to do, so I helped him create a document outlining his accomplishments and major contributions, which he would submit to his boss before their meeting. Then, one night while we were brushing our teeth before bed, he casually mentioned that he had gotten the date wrong and missed the deadline for submitting support materials for his review. My jaw dropped, and an army of accusatory thoughts lined up in my mind; I barely managed to stop myself from unleashing a rapid-fire interrogation.

Then the next day I experienced a series of stressful setbacks - a schedule glitch, a miscommunication, a technical malfunction, a lost check, a plan that fell to pieces - and suddenly everything felt like it was going from bad to worse. I was trying to wrap up an intense week filled with lots of deadlines before leaving town on a family beach vacation, yet my swirling negative thoughts were preparing to morph from a small dust devil into a powerful full-scale tornado that would ruin the family getaway for everyone.

But something surprising happened. After stewing for a few minutes on all that had gone wrong, I paused, which has been one of the many benefits I've received from a regular morning meditation practice. Within that pause, I recognized this familiar emotional terrain - how my body was now constricting and tightening. I asked myself, Do you really want to succumb to this downward spiral of negative thoughts? Is this really where you want to go and who you want to be? Of course, it wasn't. I wanted to be open, loving and compassionate. What I really wanted was to just let go of all my negative reactions. And so I did.

Actor Larry Eisenberg reminds us For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.

Not every situation ends this successfully. Sometimes the allure of a good argument takes me down an old worn path. But increasingly, I'm learning to pause, check in with myself, and make sure I like the destination this particular terrain is headed. If I don't, I wave it on, let it keep going, and consciously choose to return to my river of well-being within.

Excerpted from the excellent new book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family, ©2013 Renée Peterson Trudeau. Printed here with the permission of the publisher, New World Library.

I have seen two psychics, and both thought I was a stripper/dancer. I don't strip and never have. What could this mean?

Jessica

Susyn:

I am assuming that your dress and demeanor do not reflect such an occupation, in which case I suspect that both psychics were picking up on a past life. There could also be some astrological reasons for this false assumption as well; I'll go into that a little later.

I am a big promoter of listening closely when you hear the same thing from two different sources, for that indicates that someone is trying to tell you something. Even though these two psychics assumed this was something you do in your current life, the more likely explanation is that they were picking up on a specific past lifetime when you engaged in this type of activity.

In fact, I am a bit surprised that these psychics didn't investigate this further, especially after it happened a second time. We often carry energy from our past lives that shines through in our current incarnation even though the two experiences seem to be unrelated. Most often, people who carry unfounded fears or have a strong interest in a country or culture they have never experienced are demonstrating signature signs from a previous life.

This must have been quite a shock for you to hear. Since in the past, being a stripper was pretty scandalous, if you were one in a past life, you could be carrying a lot of difficult emotions from that time. It may be that, through having these psychics tell you this, you are being led to some needed healing in terms of your self-image.

As a Pisces, you are a water sign. Water signs are generally known for their heightened sexuality, which could be another explanation for the misinformation these psychics picked up. Depending on the strength of other water signs in your astrological natal chart, for example Scorpio or Cancer energy, you may simply be emanating an aura that suggests a more open view toward sexuality. This could lead a psychic who is trying to make sense of what she is picking up on to assume you would be drawn to this type of career.

If you are interested in learning more about your past lives or the energy you are sending out astrologically, you might seek a reading on one or both of these subjects. This would help you to determine where this information came from, and what - if anything - you may need to do about it.

Discovering the underlying cause of this mistaken identity can lead you to greater understanding of yourself, buried talents, needed healing, and new avenues for personal exploration, so I recommend you explore this further via an astrology or past life reading, or past life regression therapy.

*****

Oceania:

I'm looking at the sequence of numbers in your birth date, and see a series of pairs: 2, 2, 1, 1, 9, 9, followed by 0, symbolic of wholeness. These pairs suggest you have two selves: an outer facade you share with others, and a hidden genuine self who is longing to emerge and become whole.

The fact that psychics see you as a stripper suggests you yearn to STRIP AWAY your outer facade and reveal your inner authenticity, your real thoughts and feelings, values and goals. These psychics seeing you as a dancer points to your yearning to be less rigid and more flowing, creative, expressive and artistic.

This is an ideal time to get to know and love yourself so you feel more confident about letting your inner light shine. You may have grown up with a critical parent who held up a magnifying glass to your minor shortcomings rather than celebrating your positive attributes. Such early-life experiences lead people to wear a mask with others. When we are put down or abused, we come to believe we are unlovable, and that sharing of ourselves will only lead to rejection. We then may try to become what others expect us to be.

Your story reminds me of a tarot card called The Tower, which depicts a building falling down. The card represents the falling away of everything false, the crashing and burning of all aspects of our lives that do not serve us or ring true. The Tower STRIPS AWAY everything but our truth, which emerges radiantly in the next card, The Star.

Write down three or more things you REALLY LOVE, activities that make you feel happy, content and glad to be alive. Write down three words that describe your true inner essence. Create a vision board: a collage of inspiring words and pictures cut out from magazines. You can also include photos of yourself that seem to capture the real you. Put together a list of songs that inspire you, and dance to the music!

You're a young woman in search of her true self, and you can use the numbers in your birth date (2, 1 and 9) to find her! In the tarot, these numbers are The Priestess, The Magician, and The Hermit. The Priestess is particularly intuitive and sensitive. Her watery blue energy will help you feel and sense your way to your essence. The Magician and his fiery red energy will empower you to manifest your dreams. The Hermit and his earthy brown energy will help you walk a path of sturdy integrity, unswayed by the demands of others.

Strip away your false identity and allow your genuine self to dance freely through your life; it's time to play and stretch and grow!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.