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An excerpt from The Final 8th 
by Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW

No one enjoys being stuck and the misery is amplified when we have accomplished multiple steps toward a cherished goal — whether breaking a bad habit, losing weight, building a business, finding a mate, or finishing a degree — but just can’t seem to complete it.

In The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals, author and therapist Bridgit Dengel Gaspard calls this demoralizing quandary when someone is so close to the finish line but just can’t seem to cross it “the final 8th” and introduces a powerful technique called voice dialogue to help readers recognize and overcome internal blocks that are preventing them from achieving their goals. We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book.

The Inner Critic is programmed to be suspicious of anything new. It is wired toward attachment to your early caregivers and their core negative beliefs. To this persona, the final eighth is perilous! Because its honorable task is to protect you by avoiding abandonment, it’s hypervigilant for dangers like judgment, hurt, shame, or rejection. Its dysfunctional strategy is to criticize you before someone else does in the hopes of making you “better” in some way. Your Inner Critic simultaneously assumes you’re inferior (which effectively enforces core negative beliefs) and urges you to move ahead (which presupposes that you have the ability to do so) and thus berates you both for being inferior and for squandering your superior talents. This keeps you in your double bind, a dynamic your Inner Critic may not have been aware of until now.

Who does your Inner Critic work for?

Think about that for a minute. Does your Inner Critic work for you? I don’t think so. Otherwise it would obey when you give it an order. Your Inner Critic works for your early caregivers and perhaps some of the folks referenced in your blameography. Out of this instinctive devotion, the Inner Critic can behave like a bully who resorts to threats and stalking. Making you feel bad keeps you in your double bind. It makes you the servant of your Inner Critic and core negative beliefs, holding you back from your final eighth.

The Inner Critic’s gifts are that it never seems to run out of energy or creativity, second-guess itself, or become overwhelmed with insecurity. Hal and Sidra Stone describe the Inner Critic as having “the intelligence of a genius, an uncanny intuition, an ability to analyze our feelings and motivations, a sweeping gaze that notices the tiniest of details, and, in general, an unerring ability to see and to magnify all our faults and shortcomings. It seems to be a lot more intelligent and perceptive than we ordinary mortals are.”

The energy and insights of the Inner Critic are like fire, which can either be harnessed to sauté piquant truffle fries or let loose to burn the barn down.

Here’s an exercise that can help harness the skills of your Inner Critic and other parts.

The Final Eighth Process
Promote Your Alter Egos
List some abilities of your Inner Critic.

As an example, here are my Inner Critic’s abilities:
The ability to keenly observe how I don’t measure up.
The ability to brutally assess how I don’t measure up.
Limitless energy to judge how I don’t measure up.

Surprise your Inner Critic with a love letter.

Thank it for having been such a loyal protector, with its blind devotion to saving you from abandonment at any cost. Let it know that the days of living as if your core negative beliefs were true are over. It is now the era of core positivity. In a word or two, describe how that feels. Some of my clients have chosen words such as radiant, free, and liberated.

Redefine and upgrade the talents and creative energies of the Inner Critic for beneficial use. Its laser-sharp perception is now assigned to supporting your final eighth goals.

Here’s how my Inner Critic’s abilities are reassigned:

Its ability for keen observation can be applied to polishing my writing.
Its ability for brutal assessment can be transformed into highly efficient time management, reminding me that if I want to accomplish all I hope to in a day, I need to get organized first.
Its limitless energy to judge can be transformed into a vast supply of energy to fuel my creativity and fun curiosity instead of reinforcing my core negative belief.

List some abilities of another subpersonality.

Here are examples from a client who recommissioned her Perfectionist:
Ability to maintain high standards, which I never measure up to.
Ability to be tireless, which makes me feel terrible, as, inevitably, I don’t measure up.
Ability to be competitive, though I never measure up or make the cut.
Again, surprise this alter ego with a love letter thanking it for its protection and letting it know that the time of living as if your core negative beliefs were true is over. It is now the era of core positivity. In a word or two, describe how that feels.

Promote Other Selves

Reassign and promote the talents and creative energies of these other selves. Make sure you assign them roles appropriate to their age and strengths: in other words, don’t ask your Magical Inner Child to function as the CEO of your final eighth project.

Here’s how my client reassigned the superpowers of her Perfectionist:

The Perfectionist’s high standards will be applied to make my home beautiful, because it makes me feel good and I deserve it.
The ability to be tireless will be applied to my final eighth goal, without my core negative belief putting the brakes on me all the time.
Its competitiveness will be assigned to motivating me so that when I set out to do something, like my final eighth, I have the strength to persevere.

Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW, is the author of The Final 8th and the founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute. She is a former performer who earned a master’s degree from Columbia University and teaches at numerous professional settings including Omega Institute. She lives in New York City, where she maintains a thriving private practice. Visit her online at Final8th.com.

Excerpted from the book The Final 8th. Copyright ©2020 by Bridgit Dengel Gaspard. Printed with permission from New World Library.

Now that I am rapidly awakening on a spiritual level, I feel less patience and more anger in general. I want the world to wake up and change faster. Is this normal? I can't really relate to superficial people, have no tolerance for lying, and feel like I want out of my body. I'm new to your site but I absolutely love it!

Kathy

Astrea:

Like every other great quality, becoming patient and peaceful takes time. We all have triggers that are pulled and buttons that are pushed by the people close to us. Even the most enlightened individual can be frustrated with the slow pace of the world around her.

Remember that you have a HUMAN nature as well as a SPIRITUAL side, and the conditioning you've experienced your whole life won't change in a flash. Anger and impatience are part of the human condition, though you will be able to transcend those reactions more and more as you travel the spiritual path.

Of course we want those who are important to us to be learning the same spiritual lessons at the same time. Everyone goes through this at their own pace, however, so try to be more accepting. Open your heart to everyone you meet, from the check-out person at the pharmacy to the Highest Enlightened Teacher.

If you concentrate on the purity that YOU seek, it will take over and make you see others in a more open and caring way. I know this is easier said than done, but you can and will start to do it automatically. The more you know, the more you'll grow to be accepting and tolerant of others, and the more you'll be able to lead others to that same sort of peace.

Soon you'll begin to discover the changes in you affecting the people around you more and more. By showing others that you're leaving anger and ignorance behind, they'll want to do exactly the same thing. Be gentle in your approach to other people, however, as they may not be ready for all that you're going through.

Oh sure, it would be great if all the Enlightened Minds could change the world overnight, but that's impossible. Lightworkers have been at it for hundreds of years, and while we ARE making progress, it is very slow going at times. There are big shots who want wars and other discord in the world. It's difficult to change the way other people think and act, but that's no reason to stop trying. For every brick wall you hit on your way, there will be an open door.

Becoming more spiritually aware is not usually a recipe for anger and intolerance, but I understand what you're saying. Your desire for others around you to get it is very strong, so it's natural for you to feel as you do.

As you go along, you will grow to tolerate people who don't share your values better than you have in the past. Once you get where you want to go spiritually, you'll be able to lead others to that space in a kind and patient way. Keep trying, and keep letting your little light shine!

*****

Susyn:

Yes, this is a completely normal experience. I went through much the same thing when I began to awaken spiritually.

I recall standing in line at the grocery store, becoming very agitated by a mundane conversation between the clerk and a shopper. I found myself getting more and more frustrated, and wanted to shout out, Don't you people realize what's going on right under your noses? There is so much more to life than the price of grapes! Luckily, I held my tongue, but I was rather astounded at my anger and impatience with them.

I learned a lot from that experience, and was cautioned by other people whose spiritual advice I respected to accept that the clerk and shopper's paths were different from mine, and that I must allow them to be who and where they are. It was an important reminder to me that we all are in process and will all awaken at different times. (Once we do, however, it is hard to watch the rest of the world walk around clueless.)

You're sure to reach better balance as you continue your transformation. In fact, part of your process will be learning the art of tolerance, compassion and empathy for those who have yet to reach your level.

At some point, you may even be inspired to personally help them move a step closer to enlightenment themselves when they are ready. Often, many of us who experience this phenomenon find ourselves in position to teach and enlighten others either by setting a good example or sharing our experiences through metaphysical channels, and both can be quite rewarding.

Your sensitivity to dishonesty and superficiality isn't surprising now that you have moved so far away from them yourself. At first you'll seem to see these things everywhere, but soon it won't be as distressing as it is now. Your shock and frustration with others will also serve as wonderful reminders to continue to reach for the highest and best yourself.

There's nothing quite like the moment when our spirits awaken. It's only natural that we'd like everyone around us to experience the same freedom and joy we feel. It's wise, however, to remember that just as your awakening was activated by the Universe, when the time is right, everyone is given the opportunity to move to the next level that is right for them.

Be very grateful that your time has come. Remembering that it wasn't so long ago that you were operating in the dark will help you to be more patient and understanding with those who are less evolved, which should diffuse some of the frustration and anger you feel.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.