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Your book Overwhelmed and Over It encourages women to say, “This way of working isn’t working. And it has to change now!” Please tell us more.

Women have been a major part of the workforce for over 50-years, fighting for equal rights, equal pay and work/life balance. Our way of working, the way our structures are set up in our educational, healthcare, and financial systems are such that even if you have a high paying job, you can’t afford your life – you are either strapped for money or exhausted from trying to do it all. We women have become so resilient that we’ve become too tolerant. The truth is that the way our systems are structured, are built for burnout – we are expected to do more with less, to be accessible all the time. While some of the ways we’ve had to work for the past century or two may have been needed to get us here, it cannot and will not take us to where we need to go. There is a direct link between the instability and resource depletion on the planet and the pressure and burnout in people. If every woman on the planet looked around and really opened her eyes to what we’ve accepted as “how things have to be” in everything from the structure of a M-F workday to two weeks of vacation, to school schedules, to maternity leaves, we’d see the truth – we’ve been assimilating into systems that never had our best interests at heart. Today, in a world that must change, together, we do have the power to say, “NO MORE” to what’s not working. We must tap into our feminine wisdom to create the new ways – where wholeness, wellness, sustainability, harmony, and prospering – for all is at the core.

Your book seems to be coming along at a perfect time as so many are reimagining and redesigning the ways they work in dramatic ways. Do you think these times of change make it easier or more challenging for women to implement the perspective you offer?

Eventually easier, but at the moment it’s really challenging for many people because they have had to respond so swiftly, and there is so much uncertainty, that frankly most people haven’t been trained to deal with. I started writing Overwhelmed and Over It more than three years ago, and I’ve been teaching the principles in it for over a decade to help women see how the systems are built for burnout, while offering a different way to design our organizations, lives, and world. The pandemic and the social uprisings are like a big Universal wake up call to humans to slow down and look around. We as humans designed the systems that make up our society and world – from government to economics and beyond – which means we can re-imagine and re-design new ones. Where we start: Putting wellness, sustainability, and real wealth at the core of our own lives, not as an afterthought but as a requirement for how our jobs, roles, organizations, and lifestyles are designed. We must start asking courageous questions about what does not feel right or good, while unleashing our feminine wisdom to speak and challenge the status quo. We must wield our power as women to birth and design new ways of working, relating, and living that support and sustain people and the planet.

Your book encourages women to embrace the power of their fierce feminine heart. What do you mean by that?

Most women have been taught to use, value, and trust only half their power for making wise, aligned choices – the power of the intellect, which stems from the mind vs. full spectrum of power which includes both the intellect AND the intuition, which stems from the heart and body. We’ve been domesticated into a society that heralds the rational, mental, and logical, which are traditionally more masculine-based, over the intuitive, feeling and sensing ways of accessing knowledge that are more feminine-based. When women reconnect with their fierce feminine heart, and trust their inner knowing, confidence, courage and clarity build like a spiral within them. They stop waiting and assimilating and start feeling their power to make changes and create the world they desire to see – for themselves and the people they love and lead.

Instead of managing stress, you encourage women to release stress daily, in ways that support, not sabotage them. Can you give us a practical example of how that works?

Most women are so tired by the end of the day and they’ve given so much, that instead of releasing stress in supportive ways, they default to sabotaging habits that give them temporary relief but add to their allostatic stress load. They wine down vs. wind down. They fall asleep in your work clothes. They start a second day of work at 8pm. Here’s the truth most women don’t know that causes them to make choices that create burnout and overwhelm: How you end your day determines how you will start your next day. What you put into your body, mind and personal energetic and emotional field the hour before you go to sleep goes to sleep with you.

I teach women the practice of “Downshifting,” which is consciously choosing how to complete the last hour of their day – what they do, what they interact with and what they ingest. It’s not about doing more. It’s about stopping doing what depletes and drains you and releasing those sabotaging habits. It’s about replacing them with sustaining rituals, practices, and activities that actually replenish you and support your mind, body, spirit and heart to get calm, clear and rest.

You teach that women often bankrupt themselves because of the unconscious OVERgiving imprints that cause them to over give, over work, over care take and over stretch themselves and their resources. What are these imprints and how do you know if one is operating in your life?

Women operate like banks that give more withdrawals than receive deposits. It doesn’t take a business whiz to know if a bank or business gives out more than it receives, it goes bankrupt. Same with us. More often than not, we are teetering on the edge of bankruptcy – emotionally, mentally, physically, spiritually, even financially, because we keep giving more than we receive and can afford to give. Women have been overgiving and under receiving for so many generations, we’ve just come to accept it as a normal way to operate, work and be in relationship.

What I teach women is that they need to RETAIN their life force and resources and not just give all their time, energy, money, and care away by altering the exchange of input and output – with projects, people, organizations, communities, and everything else. The first steps is to become self-aware of the specific ways you overgive. After over a decade of research I have identified 13 ways – including OVERcaretaking, OVERextending, OVERfocusing on the future, OVERpromising and OVERprotecting, to name a few. If you can reveal the specific ways you overgive, you become empowered to shift the imbalance. Once women start to see all the ways in which they are overgiving and betraying themselves, something awakens in their fierce feminine heart. Something empowers them to take a stand for their own needs and to work and show up for others differently, in ways that create a harmonious give and take exchange.

Christine Arylo, MBA, is the author of Overwhelmed and Over It. As a transformational leadership advisor, three-time bestselling author, and host of the popular Feminine Power Time podcast, she is recognized worldwide for her work helping women to make shifts happen — in the lives they lead, the work they do, and the world they wish to create. Arylo offers workshops globally and lives near Seattle. Visit her online at OverwhelmedandOverIt.com.

Excerpted from the book Overwhelmed and Over It. Copyright ©2020 by Christine Arylo. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I woke up in the middle of the night when I heard a whisper in my ear to "open your eyes now and look up at the ceiling." I believe I opened my eyes and was not dreaming. I looked up and saw a huge piece of crystal floating over my bed. It had brilliant white lights that illuminated my bed. I was unafraid and continued to watch the crystal through the beams. The crystal then began to morph before my eyes, and it turned into a king. Yes, it sounds bizarre, but it was still in the form of a clear, multifaceted surface. I could see the crown, the beard, the clothes. I could hear wind chimes as this was happening. I continued to watch this transformation, and then this "thing" began to descend, growing closer to me. When it became very close, I became afraid and I gasped. The instant I did that, it disappeared. I was sitting upright in bed, which is why I believe I was not asleep. I was sorry I became frightened, because I wanted to see what this thing was, but it disappeared when I gasped. I sat there hoping it would reappear, but it didn't. Maybe it realized I was not ready to see it? Do you have any idea what happened here?

Dreamchaser:

Sometimes things that are completely unexplainable happen in this Universe. I believe that this vision you had is one of those things. At times, the human mind simply cannot wrap itself around things that it "sees" or "experiences." There is just no way to explain some spiritual experiences in logical human terms.

I believe that is why there are a great number of Native American people who use the name "The Great Mystery" for what we call "God." It is all very mysterious and Otherworldly, and that really is the object. Sometimes we can make it make sense, and sometimes we can't. You have to trust that your soul got the message in this experience, even if you feel like your mind did not.

Please don't doubt what you saw. I really feel that this is Spirit's way of showing you that there is more to reality than the "reality box" you have created for yourself and now live in.

Without knowing more about your life, your spiritual path, your mental and emotional state at the time, I cannot begin to give you a pat, general answer explaining what you saw and what this whole experience meant. In fact, I encourage you to not try to put a label or name on it. It is no less "real" to you now than it was when it was happening. It would not be any more or less real if we could explain it.

One thing I want you to try to do is to start keeping a journal of your thoughts throughout each day. Record what happens and what is going on in your life. Make sure it covers actual outer events as well as your thoughts and feelings. Then when you have more of these visions, you will be able to look for patterns.

Also, I want you to start thinking about what the term "king" means to you. What does a man with flowing robes, a beard, a crown, etc., mean to you when you picture that in your head? We often hear our own answers when we go back and look for the meaning of certain events and experiences in our lives. Take each event or element and ponder, "What does this beard (crown, robe, etc.) mean or signify to me?" It may sound trivial, but if you try it, it will lead you to new insights.

Please bear in mind that people throughout history have seen things that just could not be explained. For example, Moses saw a burning bush that talked to him and would not incinerate. In essence, it said, "Moses, I am God." What do you think Moses must have been thinking in the logical part of his mind? I am sure I would have rubbed my eyes, blinked and thought, "This just can NOT be happening!" Another example is when Jesus showed up in the room with his friends after he had died and been buried. How does one explain THAT logically?

I wish you an ever open mind.

*****

Astrea:

Fear can disrupt even the most wonderful visions! That's what happened to you. You were most likely asleep, but when you sat up, you woke yourself up. It was probably time for that vision to end anyway. You had seen all you were meant to see.

Most of the time when we have a dream or vision like this, it means we are making big changes in our lives. Were you anxious or depressed before this happened to you? Having this kind of experience can mean that sadness, anxiety and depression are lifting, and you're taking control of your life again. This vision came to tell you that good times and new success were on the way.

The crystal you saw floating above you meant that you were moving into spiritual acceptance of parts of your life that you hadn't been able to integrate into your everyday experience before. The king meant that this new life you're starting in the "light" will bring you more material abundance, even though you've taken a spiritual path to achieve this change. This is probably a one-time event in your dreaming experience - it won't happen again.

Whether you were asleep or awake at the time doesn't really matter as far as its meaning goes. You've come through some kind of dark, unhappy experience to light your own way again. I'm sure you did this all by yourself, and you should be proud of yourself for doing it. It seems it was very difficult for you to shake whatever was hanging over you.

Perhaps it was a romance gone wrong, an illness, or the death of a loved one; whatever it was, you've healed YOURSELF now, and it takes a whole lot of strength to do that. The king signifies that somehow through this dark time you remained YOU, and were strong enough to conquer whatever shadows were holding you back.

Now it's time to start anew and get your life back on track. You'll begin to see things come to you much easier now, and at a speedy pace! Be sure to take time to ponder your blessings and practice gratitude. You'll find that you feel kinder and more open to others now - act on those feelings. If you're due for a raise at work, ask for it. If you want something from a partner, they'll be ready and willing to supply it. If you want to meet more kindred spirits, they'll come to you on their own.

The king also suggests that the Universe is opening doors and supplying great gifts to you, for it trusts you to use those gifts wisely. This is going to be the best time for you to begin anew with dreams you decided were unattainable in the past, for they really can come true now.

Enjoy every minute of this new and delightful time. The Universe is telling you that you've earned a break and some easy times. Rejoice!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.