KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Steve Taylor, author of many books on spirituality and psychology including 
The Clear Light, The Leap, and The Calm Center

2006 was a difficult year. In April our second child, Ted, was born. Ted was a lovely baby (and is a lovely boy now) but he seemed to be born without the need to sleep. At night it was difficult to settle him down, and when he finally did settle, it was usually only for a short time. He would usually wake several times throughout the night, every hour or so, and my wife and I would take turns getting up. This isn’t unusual for a new baby, but with Ted it went on for a long time. I was working as a college tutor, at the same time as working to meet the deadline for a book, and soon became exhausted (although not as exhausted as my wife). We also had Ted’s three year old brother to look after. Eventually - probably because of the stress - I became seriously ill for the first time in my life, leading to two weeks in hospital and an operation. Strangely enough, it was while I was in hospital that Ted finally - after nearly 9 months - settled down, and began to sleep through the night.

It was during this time of turmoil and stress that I began to write poems and short spiritual reflections. I’ve always loved poetry, and in my youth I had written a lot of poems and song lyrics (none of them particularly good). But it had been more than 10 years since I’d written a poem, and in any case, the pieces that were starting to come through me now were different. They weren’t prose, but they weren’t exactly poems. They were poetic, but a little too loose and free to correspond to traditional concepts of poetry.

The pieces seemed to arrive from nowhere, as if they had been slowly gestating inside me for years, waiting for the right moment to emerge. Phrases would form in my mind, and when I sat down to write them down, other phrases would follow, until complete pieces would be in front of me. It was similar to channelling - the ‘raw material’ flowed into me, and my task was to give it form, to mould and edit it into the right shape. I was surprised by the voice which spoke in the pieces - a wise, assured voice, more weighty and more profound than my normal writing voice. This voice came from the deepest and highest part of me, and was able to express profound insights easily and directly.

Ever since then, poems and spiritual reflections have continued to flow through me. Some of them are collected in my new book The Clear Light. Sometimes the pieces arise in such an involuntary way that I forget about them quickly and am surprised when I read them again, wondering if I actually did write them. They emerge from formless consciousness. As I put it in my new book:

Every morning when I wake up, I re-create myself.
I emerge from formless consciousness
like a diver rising to the surface, still immersed in bliss.
And slowly I remember the world and who I am.

Turmoil and Transformation

Years later, I began to wonder if there was any reason why I began to write these pieces. I think there may well be connection with the stress and turmoil of that period of my life. I’ve always been fascinated by the strong connection between psychological turmoil and spiritual awakening, which I explored in my book The Leap. Combined with an attitude of acceptance, turmoil can have an awakening effect. As I put it in The Clear Light:

Trauma can break you down to nothing
destroy the identity you spent your whole life
building up
like an earthquake that leaves you in ruins
or trauma can transform you
break open new depths and heights of you
give rise to a greater structure, a miraculous new self
and the only difference between them is acceptance.

There is a strong connection between psychological turmoil and creativity too. Musicians and writers sometimes find that their inspiration fades away when their lives are comfortable and stable, and that a period of turbulence - e.g. the break up of a relationship, illness, depression - can reawaken their creativity. And so it may be that the turmoil of this period of my life led to a spiritual opening and deepening which led to many powerful awakening experiences and also expressed itself creatively, enabling the channelling of these reflections and meditations.

My life is fairly stable now, and I’m in good health, and Ted has grown up into a wonderfully joyful and loving boy. And fortunately, the channel which opened up nine years ago has remained open. That wise assured and authoritative voice is still speaking through me. The pieces are still coming through fairly regularly, even though I don’t put any pressure on them. I feel massively grateful that new ideas and insights keep forming. I still feel deeply connected to that creative spiritual source - and I hope that reading these pieces has connected you to it too. Let me end with these words from The Clear Light:

Let’s meet purely in presence
without any conditions or concepts
knowing that in essence we are the same
and that in being we are one.

Steve Taylor is the author of several bestselling books on psychology and spirituality, including The Clear Light, The Leap, and The Calm Center. His articles and essays have been published in over 50 academic journals, magazines and newspapers, including Scientific American and Psychology Today. Since 2011, he has appeared annually in Watkin’s Mind Body Spirit magazine’s list of “the world’s 100 most spiritually influential living people.” He lives in Manchester, England, with his wife and three children. Find out more about his work at www.stevenmtaylor.com.

Excerpted from the book The Clear Light. Copyright ©2020 by Steve Taylor. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I am driven to pursue self-knowledge and hidden truths through spirituality. My problem is that the people in my life are clueless and try to convince me that all my seeking is a huge waste of time. I'm not about to give it all up, as I have had out of body experiences, and my life has improved considerably since I started looking within for answers. Why am I constantly being tested by having to relate to people who believe in what I consider to be false dogma? I have in the past been pulled away from what I believe is my life path only to return with even stronger drive to explore the inner self. I have no one in my life I can discuss my amazing discoveries and experiences with. I have just started to chat with an online group (CWG), but I have no kindred spirits in my real life. I WILL continue! Is this common? Do you have any advice for me?

- Deb

Dreamchaser:

Deb, this solitary spiritual path you describe is very common. I personally have no one in my "real" life that is like-minded. I don't have any friends in town or groups that I participate in. I am what many people call a "sole practitioner." If I want to visit with like-minded folks, I have to travel. It is INCREDIBLY common for people like us to journey alone.

We are very fortunate to have the medium of the internet. We can go online any time during the day or night and find people who think just like we do. You finding this online discussion group is a very good thing. Not only are you able to talk to others about your experiences, but you are giving people who feel just as lonely as you do a place to vent, learn and feel understood.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It's time to make peace with the fact that the people in your life may never truly understand you. They are who they are. You may understand them, but they do not understand what you are experiencing or trying to accomplish. They think your spiritual life is a "little hobby," and do not realize that it is at the heart of who you are and all you do.

I think the best thing you can do is lead by example. Learn inner peace and solitude. Learn how to become one with all that is. As you continue to evolve, they will have to see the changes in you. Even if they do not change the way they live or think themselves, they will have to agree that something is going on with you.

I think that what you are experiencing is exactly why Jesus said "do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, I was taught that the "unbelievers" were everyone other than our fellow Southern Baptists. As I grew, I discovered that it really meant what you are now learning: that it is very hard to share life with people who do not even have a remote clue about what you are exploring, discovering or learning.

Please stop expecting the people in your life to change, for they are not going to. You are the one who is evolving on a near-daily basis. If changes need to be made, you are the one who is going to have to make them for yourself. Expectations cause emotional suffering. Stop expecting people around you to do the right thing, to listen to your advice or requests, or even respect your spiritual path in the least, for that may never happen. Try to accept them and their own choices about how to live their lives, then go ahead and live the life you feel inclined to lead.

I wish you endless self-discovery.

*****

Astrea:

It's always hard to talk to people who have no idea what you're experiencing. Your friends aren't being very understanding. While this is disappointing, it's also normal, because most people fear what they don't understand.

It's a shame they feel they have to discourage you, but I've discovered that other people are never quite as interested in us as we would like them to be. I think talk of spiritual quests and enlightenment tends to either frighten people or bore them to tears. Your friends can't discuss any of this spiritual stuff with you because they're not really interested in it. It's silly to try to talk to a brick wall when there are so many kindred spirits out there.

Spiritual paths are challenging because they tend to be so lonely. Since each individual is different, it used to be very difficult to find people who shared our unusual experiences. Fortunately, the internet has opened a wonderful gateway for conversing with like-minded souls. To find people to be your "real life" friends, you'll have to go where they are. Believe it or not, we're EVERYWHERE!

In many communities, New Age bookstores have discussion groups and classes where you'll be able to meet people who share your interests. Try taking some classes related to your spiritual path in your community. You're probably never going to be able to find anyone with the exact same interests because spirituality is so personal, but you can find some who are similar. If there isn't any place like that in your town, travel to the next town over.

Most larger cities have churches, clubs and other organizations that will help you feel more like you're "fitting in." If there is a Unity Church in your community or close by, that would be a great place to start looking for spiritual friends. They know where to find everything, and the Unity people are always friendly and accepting. They can steer you in the right direction to find folks who share your interests, and they are usually quite eager to help.

Even when you do find a group of people you like to talk to, be aware that no matter how understanding and empathetic they may be, you're still on your own here. Get used to finding your own answers in life, because no one is going to be able to explain YOU to YOU.

Study and meditation often are things that have to be done alone, and there are many happy "solo" people who have found what you seek within themselves. Even though lots of outside stimuli are available through books, meetings, classes, and organizations, most of the time your spiritual path is one you will travel alone.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.