KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Heather Tick, M.D.

Meditation is [a powerful] antidote to the harmful effects of stress. It changes your body chemistry and brings your body rhythms into sync with one another. It can lower your levels of stress hormones, decrease excessive muscle tension, normalize blood pressure, reduce anxiety, and increase pain tolerance. The particular practice called mindfulness-based stress reduction is based on Buddhist meditation techniques and has been studied and made popular by Jon Kabat-Zinn. Research has shown it to be a powerful technique with benefits for patients with chronic pain and anxiety.

There are many different types of meditation. Some use concentration: you focus your attention on only one thing, such as a sound or mantra. Some employ mindfulness: you quiet your mind by excluding outside thoughts and plans, and you focus on the awareness of everything you are experiencing in that moment and from moment to moment. People think of meditation as something they have to sit still for. That appeals to some, but others just don't have the time or get bored. Some forms of meditation involve stillness and some involve movement. The real meditation, says Kabat-Zinn, is how you live your life.

You can practice using a variety of things: your breath, eating a meal, going for a walk, or a series of movements (as in yoga, qi gong, and tai chi). Any moment in your life can become mindful if you clear your mind of the daily clutter and attend to it: the look on a child's face, the fragrance of a flower, the taste of a meal...

Mindfulness Meditation

Sit in a comfortable position, either cross-legged on the floor (use pillows to prop up your knees if you need to) or in a chair. Rest your hands comfortably on your knees and take a few deep, cleansing breaths. Close your eyes to limit distraction. Focus on your breathing: breathe in...breathe out.

You may notice that your mind is wandering and thinking about the office or the next chore you must do. Just acknowledge the thought and bring yourself back to focusing on your breathing. Each time your mind wanders, bring it back to your breathing, without judgment.

Mindfulness is about being rather than about doing. Do this for ten minutes each day.

Walking Meditation

This is one of my favorites because it combines two things I love to do. You don't have to walk very far. Wear comfortable clothes and shoes.

As you step, pay attention to the feeling in your feet as you place your heels on the ground and then roll toward your toes. Your weight shifts, and you are about to put your other foot to the ground and take the next step. Just observe the sensations in your feet, ankles, legs, and hips, and up through your body.

Are you swinging your arms? What do they feel like? How does the air feel on your face? Is there a breeze? What can you see? People, flowers, the horizon? Are there noises? Loud ones, like cars and voices? Soft ones, like the air as you brush past? The sound of your footsteps? Your breath?

When thoughts of your to-do list come to mind, just acknowledge them and then bring your attention back to your walk.

Eating Meditation

Food tastes better when you don't eat quickly — when you give your taste buds a chance to really experience the food. When my three children were young, I used to inhale my meals. Mealtime was so rushed that I didn't think I would get to eat if I ate slowly. If I could change that part of history, I would. It was not good for my health, my weight, or my children. I set a bad example for them, and now when I nag them to eat more slowly, they point and say I am a hypocrite. I am trying to eat as many meals as I can mindfully, and I have slowed down my overall pace of eating. I find I enjoy the food more and am satisfied with smaller portions.

Try to choose one meal each day during which you eat mindfully. Take your plate of food and sit down comfortably. Take a moment to look at the colors of the food on your plate. Then smell the aromas of the food. Try to distinguish as many different aromas or just enjoy the blend of them. Take a forkful of food and, before you put it into your mouth, hold it close to your mouth and see if you can already taste it. Then slowly put it in your mouth and feel the texture.

Begin to chew slowly. You will feel digestive enzymes being released along with saliva to help you digest your food. Chew for twice as long as you ordinarily would. Then swallow and wait a moment before you decide which morsel of food you will pick up next.

Choose a different part of the meal, if there is more than one type of food on your plate. Notice the different aromas, textures, and tastes, and continue eating this way until you are full. Then ask yourself, How did it feel to eat this way? Did it change your attitude to the food?

I recently heard of a woman who used to gobble a fast-food burger and fries each lunchtime. After learning about mindful eating, she ate one of those lunches mindfully. After that, she stopped eating fast food because she no longer liked the aroma, texture, and taste, which all seemed acceptable when she used to gobble it down.

Gratitude Meditation

Focusing on gratitude allows you to open your mind to those things in your life that are good. We all have something to be grateful for: waking up to a new day, a beautiful sunset (or cloud formation if you live in Seattle), having relatives or friends who have touched us, perceiving the beauty of a flower, experiencing the companionship of a pet. In a psychology study, each week for ten weeks, people wrote down five things they were grateful for. They were compared to two other groups, one whose members wrote down five burdens from the week, and another whose members simply listed five events. The gratitude group became 25 percent happier than either of the other groups. Perhaps gratitude moves us outside of our ego or makes us feel connected. Whatever the reason, it is a good practice.

Gratitude meditation is easy. As you fall asleep each night, review five things you are grateful for. You can combine this with a relaxing breathing exercise or one of the other meditations. Be prepared to be happier over time. Meditation practices are one way people feel connected to something larger than themselves and appreciate the spiritual aspects of their lives. Many people find that the experience of, and connection to, the mysterious, the sacred, that which is beyond their everyday experience, helps keep their day-to-day stresses in perspective.

Dr. Heather Tick is the author of Holistic Pain Relief and has been an integrative medical practitioner for over 20 years. A sought-after speaker, she lives in Seattle and works at the University of Washington, where she is the first Gunn-Loke Endowed Professor for Integrative Pain Medicine. Visit her online at heathertickmd.com.
Adapted from the book Holistic Pain Relief ©2013 by Dr. Heather Tick. Published with permission of New World Library.

I was very close to my grandparents. My Nana passed in 1988 and my Papa in 2003. I keep having dreams of them that seem so real. In every dream, I tell them that I'm so glad that they came back, how much I have missed them, and that sometimes I feel like they just left me behind. When I wake up, it's like I can still feel them there with me. What do these dreams mean? They are becoming more and more frequent. Don't get me wrong, I love the time I get to spend with them even if it is only a dream. There isn't anything in my life that I am depressed or anxious about. My Papa hugged us a lot when we were young but when we were crying he would rub the back of our hands with his thumb and soothingly say You don't have to cry, babe. When I'm sad or crying now, I feel like he is still rubbing my hand and I can hear him.

Susyn:

Through these dreams, you have been blessed with a very special gift. Your grandparentsí spirits must be very strong for them to be able to visit so often. You must also be very sensitive to be able to feel when they are near you.

When people have strong bonds with their loved ones, that connection isn't broken simply because one of them passes over to the spiritual plane. Your relationships with dear ones can remain whole when there is physical distance between you, and the same thing can happen when one moves to another dimension.

Spirits can use many different ways to contact us. One of the most powerful ways is to visit our dreams, where they can talk with us and show us that they are doing well. This is a wonderful validation that life does not end but simply takes on a different form.

Sometimes our loved ones can come to us through animals or scents, or leave signs behind that are personal to them. We can also speak directly to loved ones through channeling or psychic sessions. If you would like even more interaction with your grandparents, you may want to consider this as well.

It sounds like the frequency of these dreams increased after your grandfather passed over. This tells me that he and your grandmother are reunited and working together to ensure that you know they still love and care about you. It also suggests that they serve as protective spirit guides for you, just as they were important mentors in your life when they were alive.

There is no reason to believe that these dreamlike visits are anything other than your grandparentsí way of communicating with you. One does not have to be depressed or anxious to have these types of dreams. Sometimes people try to find obscure reasons for their psychic experiences when their purpose is really pretty obvious. Your grandparents have found a way to visit you from the other side; that is my simple explanation for the frequent dreams you have about them.

Though they could appear to us in a number of different ways, spirits often choose to visit us at night or through our dreams, when the world is much quieter and we aren't absorbed in the chaos of everyday life. When we're not distracted, spirits can make their presence known in more powerful ways.

I encourage you to keep welcoming these dreams. You may also want to keep a dream journal to record their frequency and the events and messages you receive during these visits. Do keep in mind that through meditation, you can have a bit more control over these interactions, for if you're conscious of what's happening, you can tell them what is on your mind and ask them direct questions.

*****

Mata:

The encounters you describe are pretty common; what's unusual is your ability to remember them. Most people interact with loved ones in other dimensions far more than they realize. In fact, some people who long for just one sign or meeting from a departed loved one are having lots of such experiences in their dreams.

What these people need is not a greater response from their loved ones but greater psychic skills and awareness. I can only imagine how frustrating it must be for a spirit to visit frequently but for the living to continue to believe their prayers are going unanswered.

As someone who remembers long, detailed dreams like you do, I'm often struck by how many people don't think they dream at all or rarely remember even little snippets of dreams. You must be very good at remembering your dreams to recall all these encounters. You must also be highly psychically sensitive to be so aware of your grandparents' presence when you're awake.

The fact that you're not anxious or depressed is no doubt helping you to have these experiences because your vibration is high. While it's true that loved ones will try to comfort us when we're distraught, if we're immersed in misery, it's like we're wrapped from head to toe in muck. This keeps us from perceiving anything beyond whatever we're so upset about.

As for why your grandparents are visiting you so often, I imagine the reasons are the same now that they're in another dimension as they would be if they were living. They visit you because they want to and because they can! If they were still alive, I'm sure you'd be visiting with them on a frequent basis. I bet they're as thrilled to be able to visit you as you are to see them in your dreams.

There is something most people don't know about grandparents, and that is that they often have more positive karmic bonds with their grandchildren than the parents do. While there are usually some sticky issues to be worked out in parent/child relationships, grandparent/grandchild relationships tend to be clear, true and deep on a soul level. For this reason, we may feel closer to grandparents than parents, or like the bond we share with them is lighter, easier and sweeter.

It's also possible that this dream interaction is destined and designed to further your spiritual journey. Your grandparents may have agreed to visit you like this from the other side before you were even born in order to make you wonder the things you're wondering and provide proof of the afterlife. In addition to comforting you, I'm sure these frequent visits have accelerated your spiritual progress and underscored your faith.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.