KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by David R. Hamilton Ph.D.

If you're like most people, you've probably wondered whether things are meant to be: are you destined to be with that special person, or to have that job, or that friend, that dog, or that really difficult time in your life? Or do we create it all as we go along?

If you're like me, you've wrestled with it for years. There were things that I felt strongly were meant to be in my life, like going to the University I attended and also doing my Ph.D. in the research group I ended up in, to even not getting the job I wanted in the pharmaceutical industry but instead getting one that exposed me to evidence of the placebo effect. This facilitated my route into writing books about the power of the mind, which I believe is my 'destiny.'

But at the same time, I am 100% certain that I shape my own life too, sometimes through taking action to make things happen and other times when seemingly coincidental things happen shortly after I've been thinking about them.

I wrote my book, Is Your Life Mapped Out?: Unravelling the mystery of destiny vs. free will to attempt to set my own mind at rest. This is what I came up with:

R=IEBpFeFiOX

Before you go, Whhooooaaaaa, hey what's with the math? it's actually much simpler than you think. Let me explain what the letters mean.

R is the letter I use for 'the Reality that you experience' and it's caused by the letters that come after it. Here's what they mean:

I is your intention. It's the force of you Intending for something to happen, which often results in you acting on your intentions, or subconsciously setting in motion a chain of events that move you towards your goal.

E stands for your emotions. Emotion is a powerful force. If you have an intention to achieve something but your overall emotion about it is negative, then emotion usually overrules intention and you don't go anywhere. Alternatively, when you have a goal and you feel strongly positive when you think about it, you tend to move towards it (or attract it to you).

B stands for your beliefs. Beliefs can propel you to where you want to go or they can sabotage your efforts. Say you had a desire to be financially abundant, but had a belief that it's wrong to have money because people are starving, or that people with money are selfish or unkind, or that money is the root of all evil, for instance. Then chances are these beliefs will overrule your intention to have money. No matter how hard you try, something will always seem to block your efforts.

You can usually tell what kind of beliefs you have about something by looking at your life. Stuff and experiences in your life that you are happy with, that tend to come easily to you, usually represent positive beliefs. Stuff and experiences you feel frustrated you're not having usually signal negative beliefs in those areas. It's best if your beliefs are in line with what you want to achieve.

P stands for momentum of your current experience. Just like a large ship in the ocean can't make a sudden 90-degree turn, but turns throughout a large arc due to its weight or momentum, so most people, when they decide to make a life change, still experience elements (circumstances, types of people, etc.) of their old life for a while as their life turns in an arc rather than in a sudden straight line off to the right or left. Intention works a lot with momentum because the stronger your intention, the faster you break your momentum and the shorter the turning arc in your life.

Fe stands for external forces. These are forces in your environment that have an impact on your life and the kinds of choices you make. They can be the weather; chronobiological in terms of how the Earth's rotation, the sun, and the moon can impact biology; they can be effects of food or anything else that represents how we interact with our natural environment. They can even represent the physical or social environment a person lives in, which can be a very strong force for some.

Fi stands for internal forces. These are what I refer to as spiritual forces. I believe that consciousness transcends time and space, and thus 'you' existed in some form or other before you were born on Earth. Rather than your life being a random event, then, it is likely that you were born at a particular time (given the entire span of Earth's history), in a particular place, into a particular set of social and economic conditions, even into a particular family environment, and often with a latent skill set or direction you intended to move towards. These preconditions would set the tone of the early years of your life, which would then have a strong bearing on the kind of adult you become and the direction of your life. When I talk of destiny, this is what I refer to.

O stands for the effect of other people on you. We're all influenced by other people either directly, by family, friends, colleagues, or even people we meet throughout our day, or indirectly, as world events affect the financial or social environment that we live and move in, or as our choices are influenced by marketing efforts, propaganda, or just information we pick up through watching or reading the media.

X is for any other forces that I haven't though of. 🙂 I'm sure I've not thought of everything.

So the reality that you experience is related to your intentions, your emotions, your beliefs, the momentum of what's currently happening in your life, external forces, internal (spiritual) forces, and the influence of other people.

So how do these forces interact with one another? Well, I think we are born into a set of conditions and circumstances that set the landscape of our lives and its colour tones. As we travel through our landscape, we are occasionally pulled left and right and even nudged back or sucked forwards from time to time. But amid these winds, we are always choosing, always creating, always shaping our lives. It is impossible not to. Thoughts are creative. What we focus on we move towards. That, to me, is a Law. Some call it the Law of Attraction or 'the Secret.'

Some people believe in destiny, others don't. What I've written here is just my belief, coloured, perhaps, by the influences I've experienced in my life and also by what I've always sensed. In some ways, I've sought scientific evidence to explain what I've always believed.

Whether you take comfort in an overall direction you feel you're supposed to be going in or whether you're more motivated in taking the actions that are necessary to get to where you want to get to is up to you. We're all different. Some are more comfortable with the former, some with the latter.

As long as you're comfortable with whatever you personally believe, then great. Happiness and contentedness arise when we're comfortable with our own beliefs regardless of whether there is an ultimate truth or not.

Personally, I think destiny and free will interact constantly, just as nature and nurture interact. Genes do not act out with their environment, but in relationship with it. So, too, do our hopes and dreams play out in relationship to our environment, both physical and spiritual.

David R. Hamilton has a first class honors degree in chemistry and specializes in biological and medicinal chemistry. He is the bestselling author of seven books published by Hay House, and offers talks and workshops designed to fuse science, the mind, and spiritual wisdom. He writes a regular blog at DrDavidHamilton.com as well as one for the Huffington Post. The above article was printed here with his kind permission.

I'm not psychic; I have no abilities whatsoever. However, somehow I am able to foretell the outcomes of my friends' relationships, especially the bad ones. For years I've been able to correctly predict how long my friends' relationships will last. I will meet a friend's boyfrind for the first time and tell her not to waste her time. I've predicted what will happen with at least ten of my friends. Last year on the day one of my best friends got married, I took her aside and begged her not to go through with it. She didn't listen to me, and three months down the road, she caught her new husband in bed with another woman. Now they're separated. I'm wondering if I am sensing the future or somehow sending bad karma to my friends' love lives. Your thoughts?

Doreen

Susyn:

Everyone has psychic abilities; the difference lies in whether or not they choose to acknowledge or use them. Most likely, your ability to predict the outcome of your friends' relationships is based on experience. As a somewhat objective third party, it's easier for you to identify the men who will end up breaking your friends' hearts than it is for them to see it coming.

You are not sending bad karma to your friends; in fact, you are trying to protect them. You may prefer to think of your gift as a gut instinct more than a psychic ability, or attribute your sense that something is not right to your intuition.

Because you are a Scorpio born in October, you carry some Libra traits as well. Since the sign of Libra rules relationships, you have an edge when it comes to predicting how well your friends will do with certain people. Scorpios also have an edge when it comes to ferreting out a person's true heart or motives; this helps you to predict when a connection is not going to work out.

Although you have been highly accurate in these predictions, it's not because you want bad things to happen to your friends. When they ignore your warning, try to keep in mind that everyone is on their own spiritual path. If they get involved in a relationship that turns challenging or painful, it's not because you saw it coming but because they have important spiritual lessons to learn.

When you advise your friends in the future, you may want to take a different approach. When you question their choices, they will tend to get defensive and try to convince themselves that this is the right man for them. This is similar to when parents forbid their children to see certain people, which tends to make the children even more determined to do so.

Instead of pointing out all the things that are wrong with the men your friends choose, you might focus on your friends and the reasons for their choices. For instance, do they like this person because the person likes them? Are they giving up activities or personal freedoms to be in these relationships? Do they really know the person they are with? This gives them an opportunity to consider any hidden reasons they may be attracted to inappropriate people.

This approach will prove to be more effective in terms of helping your friends avoid making relationship mistakes. Those of us who are keenly psychic and can predict the future must be very careful about how we reveal certain information to others, for our approach can make all the difference in terms of whether or not people are open to hearing what we have to say.

*****

Oceania:

I think you have more psychic potential than you realize. However, it is best to apply intuitive insights to your own life first and foremost, and offer them to others only upon invitation.

Instead of thinking of your friends' short-term relationships as bad, think of them as exactly right for that period in their lives. Though not all relationships go the distance, they're valuable just the same. Shorter ones tend to be learning relationships in which we learn just what we need to learn so we can carry those lessons forward into our next relationship.

Instead of telling a friend not to waste her time when she begins dating someone new, support her in trusting her judgment and making her own decisions. We can never know what is right for another person, so to assume that we know is arrogant. Replace that attitude with humbleness and a sense of humor.

If a friend's relationship ends, she will appreciate your compassion and positive outlook. Instead of offering I told you so energy, listen with love and suggest that a lesson, gift or blessing might emerge from the experience.

There was a hint of arrogance about your keeping score of how often you correctly predicted the downfall of your friends' relationships. It would serve you better to keep score of how often you celebrate and share their happiness when things are going well, and how often you offer them empathy and compassion when they are in pain.

If you had grave concerns about your friend's upcoming marriage, it would have been more caring to gently share those long before the wedding day, and if she chose to disregard your concerns, to let them go. Your friends have the right to live their lives as they see fit, make their own mistakes, and learn their own lessons.

If you felt you could not in good conscience support the wedding, it would have been appropriate to gracefully bow out of attending. To pull someone aside on the day of the event and beg them not to get married is far from helpful. Your negativity tainted her special day; in this way, you betrayed your friend as much as her new husband did, so I think an apology is in order.

You don't say whether YOU are in a relationship. Perhaps you are focusing too much on your friends' lives as a way of avoiding your own problems, or perhaps you fear their romances will take away from their friendships with you. New relationships do tend to take top priority so friendships may fall back a bit, but you can view those times as opportunities to make new friends or focus on building a rewarding romantic relationship of your own.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.