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By Kristi Hugstad

Do you ever feel like your days blur into one big to-do list you can’t keep track of? You have to meet school deadlines, go to club meetings, work, hang out with your friends, spend time with your family, organize your desk and room, exercise, read, and so on. Have you ever felt stressed-out because, no matter how much you try, you are always behind and overwhelmed? To avoid this, here is a simple solution: journaling.

If you’re busy and overwhelmed, why add one more thing to do? Because journaling makes you more organized and efficient and can even help relieve your stress.

Most journaling experts talk about two different types of journaling: journaling to achieve professional success and journaling therapy to improve your mental health. The former would be writing down what steps you need to take to be a restaurant owner, for example, and creating a rough outline and calendar of milestones to reach in order to achieve your goals. An example of the latter would be to write down a painful memory — say, of the day your parents announced they were divorcing — as a way of untangling complex, difficult feelings.

This form of self-examination has been around a long time, and it is a powerful practice. If you want inspiration, definitely check out the many journaling blogs online, some of which are geared specifically toward high school and college students. Journaling can help anyone, regardless of age, education, interests, or writing skill.

Let’s talk about how journaling can positively impact your mental health. Journaling connects you with your inner self and helps you develop good habits of self-reflection. When you journal, you are communicating only with yourself. Your journal is a safe place to be honest, to be your authentic self without worrying about being judged. This is what makes it different from posting on Instagram or talking to friends, when we often filter ourselves to avoid judgment or we present an idealized version of ourselves. Instead, journaling allows you to connect with and learn about yourself, to reflect on your strengths and weaknesses, and to consider how to improve yourself. By writing your thoughts, intentions, actions, behaviors, goals, and dreams, you get to know what makes you happy and what makes you sad. You learn who and what drain you emotionally and who and what make you happy and confident. Writing helps you examine and understand emotions when you aren’t actually feeling them, so you can see them clearly.

Writing down your feelings and engaging in self-reflection is a necessary habit for good mental health. When you journal about your anger, sadness, and disappointments, you openly express and release any intense feelings and thoughts. You offload negative thoughts instead of carrying them, making your mind more peaceful. Writing about and reflecting on your emotions helps you identify stressors and feel empowered.

Journaling can also improve your self-esteem and self-confidence. Studies have shown that writing about stressful events and life traumas helps with grieving and makes us feel better not only psychologically but physically as well.

Journaling can also help you achieve goals and dreams, both personally and professionally. Keep in mind, journaling is not just reflecting on the past. It is about planning for the future. Journal about long-term goals, such as studying abroad, moving to a different city, going to graduate school, and your career. Do you want to become a doctor, writer, scientist, dancer? Write about what that means for you — more than once — and reflect on the steps you need to take to get there. Just like writing a daily to-do list, this makes your goals tangible and concrete. The simple act of writing down tasks makes you feel more organized and motivated to achieve them.

As you journal, you may see where and when you waste time and how you can manage your time better. Several studies have reported that people who write down their goals are more productive.

In addition, when you journal, even though you are just writing for yourself, you will improve your writing skills. Journaling allows you to write in a safe, no-pressure environment. Further, if one of your goals is to be a published writer or blogger, journaling can serve as a stepping-stone to larger writing projects. Since writing and speaking are connected, writing helps strengthen your verbal communication skills. Putting your thoughts down on paper (or on a screen), organizing them, and strategizing what you will say, helps you talk more concisely and clearly.

These benefits aside, when you write in your journal, you physically reduce the impact of stressors on your body. A small number of studies have shown that journaling can improve our immune system and can serve as a stress-management tool. As we all know, stress is the root cause of many human diseases.

As you can see, writing regularly can help you grow and release the potential that lies within you. Journaling can make your life both easier and happier. As you build a habit of self-reflection through journaling, it improves all aspects of your life. Mapping your future puts you on track for success. When you list your goals and write down your plans, they will seep into your actions. When you write about your past, painful emotions will be given verbal expression and released, which leads to healing. It’s like talk therapy, but the person you are talking to is yourself. You bear witness to yourself and thereby learn more about yourself and about your relationship to society and the world. It is in self-reflection that we grow.

Here are some tips on how to incorporate journaling into your life so that it becomes a regular habit.

Get the tools
Some people like to write in a notebook. If you are one of those people, get a brand-new notebook. It does not need to be expensive. If you want, creatively decorate the cover; add drawings or color, or stick on pictures or inspirational quotations. Some people like to journal on their tablet, phone, or computer. Experiment with pen and paper and digital journaling and see which one you enjoy more.

Commit to journaling at the same time every day
Just like developing any habit, try to journal at the same time every day. Many people journal right before they go to bed. Journaling before bedtime may help you sleep better because it clears your mind. It will also make you think about what you did during the day and how you can improve. Some people journal right after they wake up or while having their breakfast because writing energizes them for the day. However, if you miss your dedicated time, just journal at another time, and if (or when) you miss a day or two, don’t be hard on yourself. Just restart.

Have fun
No matter how or how much you write, have fun with it. If journaling starts to feel like a chore, play around, switch your approach, and experiment. There is no one-size-fits-all type of journaling. Remember, just because it’s a habit doesn’t mean it always has to be the same. Sometimes, write only a few sentences; other times, go deep into details and analyze an event. Find the style that works best for you.

Just write
Write about anything, whatever comes into your head. Don’t have any expectations, and don’t edit. Remember, you are the only person who is going to read your journal. Don’t try to write a certain amount. Some days you may write paragraphs and some days you may write a few sentences. Writing itself is the goal, not the amount or the stylistic quality. Pick a time, and just write.

Kristi Hugstad is the author of Be You, Only Better: Real-Life Self-Care for Young Adults (And Everyone Else) and two other books. A certified grief recovery specialist and a grief and loss facilitator for addicts in recovery, Kristi frequently speaks at high schools. She is also the host of The Grief Girl podcast and lives in Orange County, California. Visit her online at https://www.thegriefgirl.com.

Excerpted from the book from Be You, Only Better: Real-Life Self-Care for Young Adults (And Everyone Else). Copyright ©2021 by Kristi Hugstad. Printed with permission from New World Library .

My grandfather died a few weeks ago. I was over at my grandmother's house last night until midnight, after which I went home and lay down to go to sleep. All of the sudden, I felt very warm in my face. This made me really hot like I wanted to kick off the covers. I didn't and it went away; I felt normal a few seconds later. I was listening to the radio in the dark and heard a psychic on the radio tell people that called in that if they felt warm, that was sometimes a spirit communicating with them. I then thought it was my grandfather communicating with me and felt really at peace for a second. Then all of a sudden, I opened my eyes and saw these green, foggy lights swirling towards me over and over again. I even closed my eyes and still saw them. It kind of freaked me out and I turned the lights on. I ended up sleeping with the lights on because my husband was out of town and I was scared. Could this have been my grandfather communicating with me?

Jen

Susyn:

When our loved ones die, their spirits will often linger near those left behind. Spirits can make their presence known in a variety of ways. Because you were at your grandfather's home for a few hours before you experienced this incident, it is likely that the hot sensations and foggy green swirls were his way of communicating with you.

Notice the synchronicity of this event and the way it made you feel. Your grandfather was on your mind, for you had just left his home. The warm energy you experienced got your attention but did not seem to frighten you. Then, almost as if to explain what was happening, you heard about this type of paranormal phenomenon on the radio. There are no accidents; the timing could not have been more perfect.

The fact that you happened to hear this explanation from a psychic at almost the exact same time it was happening, realized that it might be your grandfather communicating with you, and were then overtaken by a sense of peace all indicate that his spirit was near you. Had this been a random or negative spirit, you would not have had psychic confirmation or felt comforted by the experience.

It is interesting that your grandfather chose green lights to send you his love, for green is the color of the heart chakra. A spirit's ability to send messages like these can be fleeting. As your grandfather grows more familiar with his surroundings, I am certain you will witness more evidence that he is near. Sometimes spirits can be shy about sending these signs, which is probably the reason it happened while your husband was out of town.

There is no need for concern if you don't experience this warmth or lights in the future. Spirits tend to send their love in a variety of ways. As they get more acclimated to their new surroundings and abilities, they will come to us in new and different ways to reassure us that they love us and are doing well. Many people report contact with spirits through music, animals, and scents associated with the loved one who is trying to connect with them. You may hear your grandfather's favorite song on the radio or notice the familiar smell of tobacco if he smoked a pipe.

I think it's very important to acknowledge these messages as being from your grandfather. You may want to sit in meditation or write him a letter thanking him. It will give him great comfort to know that you realize these signs were sent by him. You should also discuss these events with your grandmother, for it's likely she has had similar experiences. As the two of you compare notes, it will be easier to validate the signals your grandfather is sending.

*****

Oceania:

The sequence of events you describe leads me to believe that you did indeed experience a visit from your grandfather. He chose to come when you were home alone and more likely to notice subtle sensations.

You felt warm and about the same time you heard something on the radio about how visiting spirits can make you feel warm! This is an example of synchronicity, or meaningful coincidence, which was first explored by Carl Jung. He believed that such events were not random but rather meaningful expressions of a deeper order.

A recent example of synchronicity in my own life occurred while I was researching the lives of my deceased grandmother Elizabeth and HER grandmother Elizabeth. (My middle name is Elizabeth.) I feel a deep kinship to these women, both of whom embarked on courageous solo adventures.

While working on this project, I took a break to have coffee with a neighbor friend who insisted on taking a photo of me standing in front of her new photo of a large rose. (I chose to use that photo for my Kajama headshot, as I find roses symbolic of unfolding potential.) When I returned to my ancestors, I began to wonder if they wanted me to carry forward their spirit of adventure. In hopes of getting an answer, I randomly pulled a tarot card from my Shakespeare deck. It depicted Queen Elizabeth I standing in front of a large rose.

Synchronicity often accompanies transformational events like births and deaths. It can also mark the beginning of a spiritual awakening for the person who experiences it. The peace you felt suggests that you connected with your grandfather's loving presence. He may have appreciated you spending time with his wife and visited to thank you.

The swirling lights you saw were green, which is the color associated with the heart chakra and our capacity to feel eternal love. The color green also represents new life and new growth. Your grandfather was reborn when he died and wanted to show you that he's alive and well in energy form.

Your story reminded me of a poem about death written by Canon Henry Scott-Holland. I will share an excerpt here and hope you find comfort in it.

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name. Let it be spoken without effort, without the trace of a shadow. Life means all that it ever meant, and is the same as it ever was. There is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you somewhere very near, just around the corner. All is well.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.