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No Pain, No Gain? 3 Body-Mindful Practices to Get Yourself Off of the Hamster Wheel, by Jennifer Kreatsoulas, PhD and Robert Butera, PhD

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Yoga philosophy teaches that we have everything we need inside of us to tend to all of life's moments, from the happiest to the most challenging. When we slow down, get quiet, and pay attention to our personal wisdom, we can gain tremendous clarity about what we need to improve a situation, make a decision, or solve a problem. In other words, all the answers we seek exist inside of us already; we need only trust in our ability to access them.

This philosophy counters our overly stimulating, consumer-driven culture. As a society, we are conditioned to look outside of ourselves for answers, seeking external validation for our decisions, feelings, and dreams. We are taught to go faster, push harder, buy more, follow others' advice, keep up with trends, chase an ideal. The well-known expression, "no pain, no gain" perfectly captures the social belief that it is necessary to suffer or work hard to be successful. As such, many of us find ourselves in a constant state reaching outside of ourselves to prove our worth. All the striving weakens our connection to our inner wisdom, especially if we do not carve out time daily to pause, get quiet, and all our inner wisdom to reveal itself.

The History of "No Pain, No Gain"
Thanks to Jane Fonda and her popular aerobics videos in the 1980s, "No pain, no gain" has become much more than a household phrase; it has become a social attitude and cultural mindset, a moral code of conduct and measure of a person's work ethic. Pain equals progress, and without pain, success counts less. Accomplishments are evaluated in terms of how much a body can withstand and a mind can endure.

"No pain, no gain" invokes a spectrum of desirable attributes that have become associated with the fitness, athletics, diet, beauty, and fashion cultures, from intensity, focus, and determination to sacrifice, self-denial, and punishment. Related slogans, like, "Just do it" and, "Beauty is pain" are intended to be motivational and inspirational and to push an individual toward a goal that is usually physical in nature.

Although these days, "No pain, no gain" is associated with personal achievement, especially in the sports and fitness arenas, a form of the expression, "According to the pain is the gain" (which appeared at the beginning of the second century in Pirkei Avot: Ethics of the Fathers, part of didactic Jewish ethical literature), taught that spiritual gain is impossible without the pain involved in doing what God commands. The versions of this slogan that appeared in the 1500s and 1600s ring of the familiar modern connotation, which emphasizes that suffering is essential to progress and that hardship and achievement are inseparable. In his 1758 essay "The Way to Wealth," Benjamin Franklin, in his persona of Poor Richard, stated, "There are no gains, without pains," to explain the maxim "God helps those who help themselves."

Ancient Greek thought may be at the root of many fitness slogans that have been reinterpreted in the modern era. All armies from the dawn of time would endure pain and show no sign of weakness to their enemies. Valor on the battlefield was meant to demonstrate not just the willingness to fight when the odds of survival were low, but to fight with courage and dignity. Hence, "No pain, no gain" was an attitude used in military training to prepare for the ultimate potential use of one's life for the sake of one's tribe.

Embracing A New Mentality
The normalized cultural meanings of "No pain, no gain" can be internalized in different ways. For some of us, the slogan truly is motivational and even helpful. But for others, the message might lead to feelings of inadequacy or a need to push past healthy limits. Even if commonly accepted phrases like "No pain, no gain" are popular, they may not be body- or life-affirming.

How do you relate to this slogan in your own life? Are you comfortable affirming yourself or do you find that you need to always strive to prove yourself to others? Do you feel compelled to work hard all the time, or do you give yourself permission to take time to turn inward and let go of being in a "doing" state?

If you find yourself on the "no pain, no gain" hamster wheel, we invite you to incorporate one or all of these visual and auditory body mindful practices into your life. A yoga practice is any activity that guides self-awareness. A body mindful yoga practice adds the dimension of purposefully tuning into self-talk and intentionally using self-affirming language to change your brain, uplift your mood, and ultimately, improve your sense of self. Our book Body Mindful Yoga includes a variety of mental, physical, auditory, and visual practices designed to help you establish an awareness of your inner dialogue and incorporate body mindful language into your life with the intention of improving self-confidence. Over time and with diligent practice, the kinder words will become more readily accessible, and the less kind words won't be as quick to show up.

These three visual body mindful yoga exercises are less language-intensive and more sensory-focused, giving your brain a rest from hard work while nourishing your senses and restoring your energy.

1. Spend time in nature appreciating the colors, sounds, creatures, and mysteries of the natural world. Practice watching yourself observe what you see and hear without judgment. In turn, observe your self-talk as it bubbles up, and practice matching the neutral observing you do of nature with that of yourself. For example, "I see a red bird" is a neutral observation statement. Through practicing neutral observation with nature, you can begin to practice it with yourself.
2. View paintings, drawings, statues, and other pieces of artwork that inspire positive feelings. Notice the colors, textures, and other fine details that capture your attention. What unique qualities do you appreciate about these artistic pieces? If a work of art is especially pleasing to your eye, consider using it as a point of meditation. Gaze at it first thing in the morning for an allotted period of time as you recite your mantra, affirmation, or prayer.
3. Watch or listen to lectures, presentations, movies, and plays with messages that reinforce a healthy mindset toward your body and self. Music also fits in nicely here. You can create a playlist of music that is uplifting and inspires self-confidence and empowerment.

Doing these practices regularly will not only help restore balance to excessive working and striving mentalities, they will also help you reconnect with your inner world, offering you time and space to listen to your thoughts, notice your emotions, and appreciate the world around you. You deserve these few precious moments to unwind, reset, and simply be.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018. All rights reserved.

My 14-year-old niece has been visited by a boy who appears to be around eight years old. He has been around since she was four years old. He has never said anything to her. He has tried to approach her on a few occasions. She says that an old woman came into the picture a few years ago, and she takes him away with an angry look on her face like she is upset with my niece for noticing them. This is starting to really scare her. Now he is everywhere, even in school. I really want to help her but I don't know how. There are cases of bi-polar disorder and OCD in my family, but her pediatrician doesn't believe she has a mental disorder. For some strange reason, she is terrified of priests and she refuses to go near them. This is getting out of hand and I'm desperate to find help for her. If she goes to a psychologist, they won't believe it's paranormal and I'm afraid she'll get worse if she's told it's all a hallucination and she is mentally ill. How can we tell if this is a ghostly encounter as opposed to a psychological disorder?

Astrea:

First you all have to get together and send that poor little boy into the light, and the YiaYia, too. He's been stuck between here and there for many years now, maybe 200 or more. He didn't speak when he was alive - that's why he doesn't speak to anyone who sees him now. He is desperate to leave the Earth Plane and sees your niece as a miracle of hope.

The YiaYia is a manifestation of his imagination; it drags him away to wander the in between space eternally. There are easy, safe rituals to send him into the Light. Personally, I use the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel, ring the bell, close the Book, blow out the candle and have a nice trip, goodbye! Warn your niece to expect to miss him for a while, for they've been together a long time.

Ruling out the possibility of mental illness in any teen is tricky, but your niece's case is pretty clear. Her generation is the first in the family to feel safe in revealing what is going on between them and those from Beyond the Veil. Their communication with spirits is going to be so much more natural than was the case with our generation.

Here is how you can help: Supply the tools she needs in order to process what is happening within her. If she's not keeping a journal of these experiences, have her start now. If you can, buy her an inexpensive laptop to use as a notebook so what she's experiencing stays in one place - on that laptop.

Always let her know that you accept everything she says as true so she doesn't have to convince you; you just need to know what's going on so you'll know what other tools to get for her. By skipping the painful you have to believe me part with you, she can approach her growing powers with a clearer head.

Her fear of priests is normal, for I'm sure she went up against the Judges in a number of past lives. She senses an old danger from priests. Maybe the priestly outfit scares her too, the way some kids are scared of clowns. She's not possessed by a demon (even though the poor kid probably thinks she is at times), and the people she sees can't and won't hurt her. In fact, she can help them.

Finally, you can call on medical doctors or open-minded psychologists who believe that what is happening to your niece is within the range of possibilities. Take your time and find a mental health professional who can guide your niece toward peace with her psychic ability.

*****

Susyn:

You pose an interesting question. As a psychic, I do wonder how often paranormal activity is dismissed as an illusion or hallucination.

New terms for various disorders (such as Bi-polar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)) continue to be created in an attempt to cover a select set of symptoms or behaviors. I have often found that clients who have been diagnosed with some mental disorder are really suffering from a haunting, possession, or the attachment of a discarnate spirit.

Psychological disorders are presumably caused by chemical imbalances or traumatic experiences that skew the patient's perceptions. In your niece's case, you don't mention any basis for tying her experiences to a mental disorder.

Your niece noticed this boy at a young age, which suggests the presence of a poltergeist, earthbound spirit or familiar spirit from a past life who longs to be near her. Sometimes when a twin dies in utero, the spirit of the twin can visit the surviving twin in childhood. You might want to question her parents to see if this is a possibility.

Before children reach the age of 5 or 6, it is very common for them to see spirits no one else can see and to recall their past lives in vivid detail. Your niece's aversion to priests could have originated from a traumatic past life experience. After a point, these memories diminish, so even if a small child has an invisible playmate they see often, these experiences will tend to fade away as they grow older.

There are a number of ways to determine if this is a paranormal event, and there are actions your niece can take to rid herself of an unwanted spirit if need be. You might encourage her to visit a psychic or even a priest or minister in order to determine the identity of this boy spirit and get more peace and clarity. In other words, it's time to seek spiritual help.

If this little boy is a discarnate spirit, a good psychic will know how to send him towards the light and help him cross over to the other side. If that is not effective, a priest can perform the rites of exorcism to alleviate this haunting.

It's a good idea to get some help for your niece now to prevent psychological problems in the future, for if she continues to encounter spirits and have psychic experiences that others consider crazy or impossible, she may begin to doubt her own sanity.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.