KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Bill Apablasa

There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go. - Tennessee Williams

Time to Hit the Road

When was the last time you just got up and left? Your feet twitched and the road called? Not on vacation, or a day at the beach or trip to the spa, but a head out the door for an aimless stroll to nowhere?

It's called wandering, moving without a fixed course, allowing mood and curiosity to be your guide. Depending on your personality, that may or may not sound like kryptonite. It's certainly not easy for me.

Truth is, most of us aren't wired to wander or, more accurately, we've forgotten how. We've been so conditioned by teachers, parents and bosses, so manipulated by schedules and deadlines and have-tos, that we no longer have the time or the space between our heads to go anywhere unless the destination is clearly marked on the map, with something practical waiting for us at the end, like a paycheck or a cold Corona.

Doing nothing we get, but going nowhere is for college dropouts or meth addicts. We may wander, but for only as long as it takes for our GPS to kick back in. For most of us, wandering is what you do when you're waiting for real life to start.

And I get it. Who has time to wander when there's chicken to stir-fry, kids to pick up, MBAs to be earned, clients to meet, dogs to be cleaned up after? Life keeps us busy.

Of course, life also keeps us in the same room.

And therein lies the great challenge of our lives. How do we live in a world, but not be of it? How do we pay the mortgage, take out the trash and still find time to expand our awareness?

If you have the answer, call me. We should do lunch. I know I don't have the answer. But I do know the balance of my life will hinge on how well I try.

I know that if we truly seek reinvention, if we truly seek to escape the one room we're living in, there is a call for us to transcend life itself, or life as we think we know it. We need to zig while the rest of the world zags. Emerson had it right. Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.

It's not an easy lesson, but once learned, it has the capacity to change our lives forever. That said, let's cultivate a spirit of wander.

We can start with a commitment. At least once this week, pledge to leave the house with no objective and nowhere to go. Spend at least three to four hours on the road, six is better, and all day ideal. No itinerary. No final destination. It's called wandering - spontaneous travel without map or purpose. I know it's tough.

How Do I Get Started?

Step out of the house, turn left or right, then keep walking. That's it. Grab a bus, take a train, get off when you feel like it. But, don't rely on public transportation entirely. And definitely don't use a car. The problem with roads is that they're clearly mapped, with neatly defined on and off ramps. We follow them automatically. They drop us off in the same expected places. Wandering takes us where we don't expect to go. It surprises us.

What Should I Take With Me?

You should have money, as well as ID and a cell phone. Practicing safe travel is always advised. You should leave behind your schedules, to-do lists, newspapers, books and all reminders of your everyday life. And while you're shutting down, turn off the Wi-Fi, close up the email, put the phone on vibrate. You're off the grid, my friend. Life will still be waiting for you when you get back.

Where Will I Go?

Does it matter?

What If I'm Too Busy?

News flash! You're not too busy, too valuable, too expendable or too anything, or at least that's what my wife is always telling me. Most likely, nobody will even know you're gone. And face it: we can always clear our schedule for what's important. We do it for American Idol all the time. And beers with our friends. Facebook. The opening of Hunger Games.

I realize most of us are stretched and pulled in ten different directions. We have spouses and significant others, bosses and clients, parents and children, in-laws, friends, co-workers and pets. Everybody wants a piece of us. We're too busy for a shower and a glass of wine, let alone for a walk about town.

But, here's the question: when will you make time for yourself if not now? And when I say time, I don't mean time to go shopping or clean the gutters on the roof. I mean time to be alone, to question, to observe, to experiment, to see the world in ways you've never seen before?

No one's asking you to abandon your family and hop into a box car of a moving train. It's a stroll around the city. Give up a couple of TV shows this week; get up early to finish a project ahead of schedule; find a sitter; work evenings. Do whatever you can to free up the time for an afternoon of wander. If you can only go for an hour, go for an hour.

What matters is that you start, that you send an immediate FYI to yourself and the universe that your journey on this planet is as important as anything else you do in life. It sends a message that you are ready to travel where there is no path.

It sends a message that you are ready for The Other 999 Rooms.

Wandering teaches us that without the pressure of ambition or purpose or destination, we can stop trying, relax, and let go. We can slow down, pay attention, and walk with eyes wide open.

We can slip through life with the knowingness that something wonderful could always be around the next corner - your next best friend, your new spouse, a child who needs help, a stranger who might make you laugh, or think, or believe, or act.

Wandering teaches us that what is most valuable is often unscripted...and that in every moment there exists the possibility for new awareness.

Enjoy the trip. We'll see you when you get back.

Bill Apablasa is a writer, social experimenter, nomadic homebody and creator of theother999rooms.com, where he writes about reinventing your life...one room at a time.

Do you think it's possible that I am cursed? Over the past 12 months, I have had nothing but bad luck. Anything and everything that could go wrong has done. No matter how hard I try or how much I focus on raising my energy and staying positive, life just seems to keep throwing obstacles and problems my way. I am starting to reach my limit with all of this, and am wondering if perhaps I have been cursed by someone. If that's possible, what can I do to break the curse and change my luck?

Karen

Susyn:

As I see it, your run of bad luck could be caused by one of three things.

1) While you didn't mention your birthday, there are a few astrological cycles that last a year or more that can create a sense of frustration. 2) You may actually have been cursed by another person. 3) There is a negative or discarnate spirit attached to you. No matter what is behind this bad luck, there are things you can do to change it.

Let's start with one of the most common reasons people experience times of great challenge: astrological influences. There are certain times in our lives when the planets align to teach us important lessons. These periods are designed to get our attention and move us to a greater level of spirituality. Even though the obstacles you are facing may seem unrelated, the fact that they have been constant for more than a year suggest that you may be in one of these growing phases.

Around the age of 27 and again at about 57, we all experience something called a Saturn return. This varies from individual to individual and typically lasts one to two years. At these pivotal junctures, our worlds can be turned upside down or seem to be plagued by bad luck. Whether you are near the age of a Saturn return or not, having an astrological reading can enlighten you as to why certain things are occurring, what planetary cycles could be contributing to your run of bad luck, and when it will end. Keep in mind that once an astrological phase of this nature is complete, wonderful new gifts will come your way.

As I mentioned, you could also be dealing with a negative entity or curse. The methods for ridding yourself of these are quite similar. If you feel a particular person has deliberately placed a curse on you, it's time to freeze them. Details for this free ritual are available here. You can also use this method to rid yourself of negative spirits or discarnates by sincerely praying, I ask Spirit to freeze all negative energies and entities that are causing me trouble.

Next, cleanse your surroundings with a clove ritual to eliminate any energetic lint left behind from the curse or discarnate spirit. This will help align your chakras and energy and promote a return to spiritual balance. Fill a large saucepan with four cups of water and a handful of whole cloves. Bring the water to a boil, lower the heat, and simmer for one or more hours, adding water as needed to maintain its level.

This clove ritual will permeate your home with a scent that repels negative energy and promotes protection and spiritual balance.

*****

Oceania:

Honestly, if I made the effort, I could make a long list of bad things that have happened to me in the past year, but I choose not to approach life that way. When the going gets rough, I take the stance of a boxer: I bob and weave and say, Bring it on, life! I know you're gonna hurt me, knock me down, and even kill me in the end, but you also shower me with wonders and delights, so I'm choosing to stay in the ring.

I'm not here to discount your feelings or minimize what has happened; in fact, I'd be the first to offer you comfort and support. I assure you that we can take whatever life dishes out if we are willing to express our emotions, so I hope you will seek counseling either with me or another professional.

Please think back to the first major incident in your string of losses, because the first is often the one that needs attention. Rather than deal with a traumatic loss, we'll often go on the lookout, hone in on every negative turn, and get distracted by the pattern. It's one thing after another! It is possible that everything following your initial loss was an emotional aftershock.

While pain is unavoidable, suffering requires the cooperation of our thoughts. You can view Byron Katie on Youtube as she challenges the thoughts of her clients using a technique she calls The Work. Her approach helps people reduce suffering under even the most dire circumstances.

She believes that fighting reality by opposing what is creates a war zone in our minds; only when we end the war by accepting what is do we create peace in our minds and our lives. She's not the first to promote this notion. Epictetus, a philosopher of the Stoic movement in ancient Greece, wrote that we are not really disturbed by events, but rather by the view we take of them. Centuries later, Shakespeare's character Hamlet said, There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.

Psychologist Albert Ellis based his school of therapy (REBT) on that principle. He helped people question the thoughts underlying their distressing emotions and change those emotions by changing their thoughts. Earlier, I advocated expressing emotions, which is like a tea kettle blowing off steam. The approaches of Ellis and Katie involve turning the flame down beneath the kettle.

We often declare things to be bad before seeing the bigger picture. The passage of time reveals how unexpected good can spring from tragedy. I encourage you to trust that good will come, and relax into the possibility that you're abundantly blessed rather than cursed.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.