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The Fear of Death: A Great Illusion, by Ginny Brock

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Fear is the most fearful of all things, and it, in itself, is an illusion. The fear of death is one of its greatest cultivations. Death can freak you out totally. And unless you think about it, take it apart molecule by molecule, and begin to figure it out, it will continue to paralyze you. Look around the next airport you visit. White knuckles everywhere, intestinal uproars, darting eyes, shrill rudeness, and suspicion fill the air. The fear of death has a grip on at least half of the travelers there.

No one is immune to fear; it goes around like the common cold. It infects whole congregations with ideas of hellfire and damnation. The politics of fear affect whole populations. Put a snake within ten feet of me and some primordial instinct takes hold and I discover that I can jump five feet off the ground—and fly the rest of the way. Well, more or less. The fear of death has given me wings.

Illusion or not, fear can really turn on the jets inside us. It's called an illusion, because if we think it through we find that there are things we can do to change the emotion. Whistling a happy tune with a snake rearing back to strike doesn't quite do it for me. But I can get the heck out of its way—quietly and with a minimum of fuss.

Mohandas Gandhi, the great Hindu pacifist, was once quoted as having said that the more he thought about it, the more he studied, the more he became convinced that sorrow over death may be the greatest illusion. "There is no death," he said. "No separation of substance."

Sorrow may be an illusion, but it also brings great physical pain. Gandhi is saying that if we can see through the illusory mists of sorrow with its incumbent pain, if we can understand and believe that there is no death, we can then take the deep sorrow out of grief.

We don't die. I know that. Our physical bodies stop working when, for whatever reason, old age, illness, or accident, the source of their energy departs. "The dear departed" is what we miss, what we grieve for, but in the reality of the collective consciousness, their energy is still very much alive, very much within our own sphere of consciousness, our own physical and ethereal space. It hasn't left us.

But you already know this. You're just not sure whether you believe it or not. Have you ever felt a spirit? Or heard a spirit? Have you ever seen one in a dream? Most of us have. And most of us shake our heads in disbelief and say, "I've had too much coffee!" It's not easy to admit that you've seen a ghost; nobody wants to open themselves to ridicule. And it's not surprising. For centuries, we've been well tutored in keeping our mouths shut about such things. But there have been some over the years who weren't so prudent, and they paid for it. It wasn't all that long ago that people who said they saw dead people or people who claimed to be able to communicate with the dead, would be hauled up before some pontifical city council, and asked to explain themselves by a group of blustering, pot-bellied old men spraying spit all over the place. The next thing they knew, they were being carted off to the nearest fire pit. And the whole village showed up for the fireworks!

Well, I see dead people. I feel them, I hear them, and I communicate with them. I have no fear of ridicule, and because witch burning has become unfashionable, I'm not afraid of institutional councils or inquisitions. I'm hoping to light up the village in a very different way, with light that can permeate that darkest part of our greatest fear—the fear of death.

Since childhood I've been aware of other realities that hang out with us. Ghosts, if you like, auras around people, I pick up mood or illness in someone very easily. But I never paid much attention to any of this as I was growing up. Much like a dog or a cat, I accepted their presence without question or much interest. They just were. It wasn't until I lost a parent, and then another parent, and then a husband that I began to take serious notice. Following my husband's death, I began to study everything I could get my hands on that had anything to do with death and dying, but most particularly, soul survival. Little did I know that all of this study was actually preparing me for the most devastating event of all—the death of my youngest son at age twenty-six.

"He died at 3:20 p.m. …The ticking of ice on the windows had stopped. Snow fell gently on the city. It blanketed the asphalt, the brick walkway, the street near the hospital. No birds sang. Nothing moved but the steady, white flutter of Rocky Mountain snow. Denver lay still beneath its crystals. As still as death and the silence that comes with dying."*

Buried under the rubble of my life, the cave-in of my existence, I searched for every teacher on the subject of soul-survival I had ever had. I researched the writings of Plato, Socrates, the French philosophers, and the Transcendentalists of New England (who included Walt Whitman, Longfellow, Emerson, and Louisa May Alcott). And then one evening, sitting in the gloom of a hotel bedroom, exhausted and filled with paralyzing sorrow, a shaft of light broke through the darkness. It began to glow, and to grow stronger and stronger as it filled the space around me, permeating the blackness, its warmth melting the ice in my heart as I stared in awe at the spirit of my son.

My physical eyes were open and trying to focus on something they couldn't see...my sixth sense, my spirit watched in amazement. He was alive, whole, feeling—his hair was dark and curly brown—just as I had seen it five days ago before he died, and his cheeks were flushed. When his eyes met mine they were filled with tears. The emotion I felt in him was stronger than any emotion I've ever felt on Earth. My son lived!

We don't die. We go on from here, leaving the limiting constraints of this human body behind. What a relief! We once again become the magnificent spirit being that is our natural state. We move on thought. We manifest our desires, our wishes in thought, and our understanding of all things human is clarified and we are filled with deep compassion beyond our earthly understanding. So I am told. In myriad conversations with my son I learned about the place he's in. These talks are usually preceded by a massive whoosh of energy that signals he is with me; I feel his essence, but not only that, I hear his voice, I can feel his skin—living and warm, I can touch his face and his hair.

I still miss his physical presence. So much. I would like to pick up the phone and just say "Hi!" I would like to hug him and hold him just one more time. When I have those very human thoughts, I suddenly remember that I can. He hasn't gone far. Of that I am sure.

Sometimes someone will say, "Yeah, you're a writer—you can imagine anything you want! Maybe you're imagining all this." And that's true. As a writer I have a boundless imagination that I recognize as such and I understand very well. It will take me anywhere I like; I can make it do anything I want to. The difference between it and this other energy is that I cannot manipulate it. The messages I get are sure and come from outside of me and my knowledge. I cannot change them or make them sound the way I want them to. They just are.

So, death is not an illusion. But because we are human we feel the illusion of sorrow and grief. The best part of this is that we all have the ability to transcend our humanity; most of us have just forgotten that once we were vibrant spirit beings who could do miraculous things. We still are, but now we're covered in this sheath called the human body. It's not impermeable. There are constant "bleed-throughs," and memories from the other side. Have you ever dreamed you were flying? Voila!

We are vibrant spirits living on a human plane with all its difficulties. Fear may be our greatest challenge. Could it be that one of our reasons for being here is to conquer fear in all its aspects, in all its disguises? I'm thinking that that is the secret of true happiness.

*From the book By Morning's Light by Ginny Brock. Copyright 2012 by Ginny Brock. Used by permission from Llewellyn Worldwide, Ltd.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2012. All rights reserved.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep since my mom died six years ago. (My dad died 14 years ago.) Every night I hear tapping in my room. I also experience a lot of sleep paralysis. I've heard strange things like a huge boulder coming my way and strange grunts from something or someone. I've had a couple of out of body experiences. It all petrifies me; I'm so very tired. I can't talk to anyone about this as I've learned from experience that people will think I've gone mad. I sleep with the TV on as I can't bear silence or total darkness. After falling asleep, the TV volume has turned up very loud, apparently on its own. Sometimes, objects will just fall off the chair for no reason. I've also seen what looks like a laser go through the curtain of my room. My sister has advised me to speak to the tapping and ask if it wants something, but I'm too afraid to do this. Could it be my parents trying to contact me? How can I get past this so I can get a decent night's sleep? Thanks for your time.

Rani

Susyn:

The events you describe are definitely paranormal, but it will take some action on your part to determine their source. Though you mention that they began after your mother died, it's possible that you have a different type of entity living in your bedroom.

I recommend you do a spiritual cleansing of your bedroom and the rest of your house. In the event that you're dealing with a haunting or discarnate spirit, the noises you hear should cease after this cleansing.

Here are some rituals for clearing a house of unwanted spirits:

Smudging Ritual: Light the end of a sage smudge stick or a stick of sage incense and once it starts to smolder, ask out loud that all negative spirits leave the premises at once. Walk through each room of your house, wafting the smoke around windows, doorways, furniture and electronics. Be sure to smudge near electrical outlets and light fixtures as well, for these are places where spirits love to hide.

Grounding Ritual: Salt is known for its protective qualities as well as its ability to absorb negative energy and chase spirits away. For this ritual, fill a small bowl or plate with salt and then place a clear quartz crystal upright in the center to draw and ground the spirits. You can create one of these to put by your bed as well as one for any other rooms where you have experienced problems.

Stone Ritual: Certain stones are known for their protective qualities. Turquoise, lapis lazuli and malachite are exceptionally strong, so place one or more of these stones near your bed or under your pillow. You can also wear stones in a necklace, ring or bracelet for around-the-clock protection.

Typically, when our loved ones are attempting to contact us from the other side, their efforts won't appear frightening or disturbing. Though they will often come during the night, you should be able to identify them by their image, voice or emotional presence. With the exception of the tapping, none of these events suggests that your parents are trying to communicate with you. Just in case the sounds are coming from the spirits of your parents, you might ask them to reveal themselves in less disruptive and more recognizable ways.

The tapping could indicate a spirit that is trapped and hasn't moved on in the afterlife. If you're awakened by the tapping again, you should address it by praying and encouraging them to seek the light and move to the other side. Reminding any earthbound entities that it's time to move out of limbo and on to their next phase of existence should help.

*****

Mata Maya:

Given your reference to having out of body experiences, my feeling is that you are experiencing bleed through from another dimension. There are places throughout the Earth where the boundaries between this world and other dimensions of experience are very thin. There are even openings called portals through which we can travel into other worlds and beings in other worlds can travel into or close to this dimension.

When you have an out of body experience, you shift from a state of consciousness that is identified with the physical dimension, into a state of consciousness that is in harmony with another realm of experience. When you are in other dimensions like the astral, you encounter beings, lights, objects, sounds and other things that are not perceptible to those in an ordinary state of waking consciousness.

When you are falling asleep at night or waking up in the morning, you pass through this special state of consciousness associated with out of body experiences. You don't have to be technically out of your body to be in this state of mind; in fact, you may not even realize you're in this state of consciousness. All you know is that you are seeing, hearing, and otherwise perceiving some very strange things!

Further, the more we consciously project into other worlds, the thinner the boundaries between those worlds and this one become. Someone who regularly astral projects will therefore tend to create a portal in their bedroom or wherever they practice getting out of body. Their own vibration will also shift in such a way that they become something of a walking portal.

This portal flows both ways. On the other side of it, perhaps there are beings who are experiencing some very strange ghostly activity of their own when someone from this dimension pops through in a strange or ethereal way.

It's common for people who meditate a great deal, attempt astral projection, or spontaneously project to start having all sorts of other paranormal experiences. For example, they may be doing something ordinary like washing the dishes when they see an otherworldly entity or figure out of the corner of their eye, or perceive another being who isn't physically there seemingly doing ordinary things.

Most of the time, what they are experiencing is bleed through awareness of other dimensions. Often they are the only ones aware of the things they are perceiving. This is because those things aren't here in the physical; instead, it is their awareness that is expanded to include metaphysical dimensions.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.