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4 Secret Strengths of Sensitivity, by Kyra Mesich

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Sensitive people have gotten a bum rap. We live in a world that doesn't embrace the values of sensitivity, so we get told that we are weak, unusual, touchy, and hard to please. The sad truth is that we hear these messages in many ways throughout our lives. Even if it is from a well-meaning teacher or parent who tries to "toughen us up," the crux of these messages is that there is something wrong with being sensitive.

When we hear these messages over and over through our lives, we can't help but internalize them as our own identity. Therefore, most sensitive people truly do believe that there is something wrong with them and that they are at fault for being "too sensitive."

It's no wonder then that sensitive people don't know how to respond when someone derails a discussion or argument by saying, "You're just being too sensitive." How can we have a rebuttal to that statement, when a part of us believes it is true? Deep down inside, most sensitive people believe that their sensitivity is a weakness, and they dislike being that way. It's an inequitable way to live to not appreciate or even like an important part of ourselves, especially when the ideas are based in misunderstanding.

Would you believe it if I told you that your sensitivity is actually composed of many different strengths? Here are four of the secret strengths of sensitivity.

1. You're Highly Perceptive.
   Think for a moment about the word "sensitive." How does that word make you feel? What associations do you have with the word? Now think about the word "perceptive." How does that word make you feel? For most people, the word "sensitive" is an emotionally laden word with some negative connotations. On the other hand, the word "perceptive" is neutral. So what would happen if you replaced the word sensitive and started defining and describing yourself instead as highly perceptive? Feel the shift that happens?This is not to say that "sensitive" is a negative word. It's an emotionally charged word due to our past experiences. It's freeing to take a little time off from that misunderstood term. "Perceptive" is a synonym that still has its pure, straightforward meaning: having keen awareness, understanding, and intuition.

   So the next time you begin to think to yourself, "I wish I wasn't so sensitive," stop and instead say, "I wish I wasn't so perceptive." You'll find yourself replying, "Why would I do that? Being perceptive is a good thing!"

2. Your Brain is More Active.
   According to studies by Doctors Elaine and Arthur Aron and colleagues at Stony Brook University, the brains of sensitive people brains have higher activity in response to stimuli. In one particular study, participants' brain activity was monitored by functional magnetic resonance imaging while viewing a series of photos of people exhibiting varied emotions. The participants identified as highly sensitive had much greater blood flow in their brains than the other participants, indicating higher brain activity. Similar results have been demonstrated with other stimuli as well. What this means is that the physiology of sensitive people physiology is indeed more active and responsive.Sensitivity isn't solely an emotional or mental experience; our entire physiology is wired to react swiftly, keenly, and thoroughly to stimuli. This is the reason we sometimes perceive things that others don't seem to notice. This is an explanation for why we may feel bombarded by loud or discordant stimuli. Our bodies are doing more work to perceive accurately and keenly. In other words, we are more finely tuned instruments.
3. You Have Great Intuition.
   Intuition is that gut feeling or still, small voice within that we can trust to know the best course of action. Our intuition is our inner guidance system that helps things run much more smoothly in our lives, as long as we listen to it. As a sensitive person, you already have very strong intuition. The problem is that most of us were never taught to value it nor how to listen to it. We're taught to dismiss it.Our society praises actions that are taken after much analysis and thought. It's generally not accepted that someone may be sensitive enough to perceive subtle information from multiple sources beyond the thoughts in the mind and then just "know" what to do. That is a big part of what makes our sensitivity so baffling, yet makes it a huge strength. We are sensitive not only to what we can easily see and understand, but also to that which is extrasensory—just beyond what our five physical senses can perceive. This includes things such as EMF, radiation, magnetic fields, and many additional energies from devices, nature, animals, and people.

   Our sensitive intuition picks up on all this extrasensory information, compiles it, and does its best to tell us what we need to know. Since it is already working all the time, practice listening to your intuition and try following it, even for simple things like what time to choose for an appointment. Many people are better able to sense their intuition when they tune into their bodies, especially the solar plexus area, rather than focusing all attention up in their heads. Give yourself permission to listen to your gut feelings and instincts for a while, and you'll find your intuition is a fabulous resource and strength you naturally have as a sensitive person.

4. You're Empathic.
   People use the word "empathic" to mean compassionate understanding of another person's emotional situation. But the term "empathic" has an even deeper meaning for sensitive people. This is an extension of the discussion about intuition in number two. Empathic ability can be viewed as a specific type of intuition, or extrasensory awareness.Empathic ability is the experience of sensing and feeling emotional energy, even if it hasn't been openly communicated in any way. This emotional energy may be lingering in a place, or it may come from animals or pets, but it impacts us most strongly when it is from other people. This is one of the confusing aspects of sensitivity that we often define as painful or as a weakness. When we don't realize we are empathic, then the emotions we sense from others become jumbled up with our own.

   But when we do know that empathic ability exists, and that as sensitive people we are empathic, then we can begin to discern the energy we are sensing. As we learn to use and appreciate our empathic abilities, eventually we are able to use that emotional information just like our intuition—as useful information that benefits us.

   Wondering if you can trust your new babysitter? Is your boss in the right mood today to ask for that raise? Will you get along with the neighbors at the new apartment you are considering? These are questions your empathic sensitivity can answer. It adds another layer of information to your intuition. It's like having a psychic feeling superpower.

   Just as with intuition, it works best to tune into your empathic ability by bringing your awareness to the solar plexus area of your body, between your chest and belly. Ask a question, and then trust the immediate feeling that comes to you. It takes practice and sometimes healing of old wounds or blockages so that you can clearly perceive what your empathic sensitivity is trying to tell you. But you can get there.

Wouldn't you agree that it's time for these strengths of sensitivity to no longer be secrets? The idea that sensitivity is a weakness really is backwards. Sensitivity is a great example of "the whole is greater than the sum of the parts." Our keen perception, strong physiological responsiveness, and compassionate nature give us the ability to hear more, feel more, and sense more, even beyond the limitations of our five physical senses.

It's time for us to recognize these strengths and begin respecting ourselves as sensitive people. So the next time someone says, "You're being too sensitive," you can honestly reply, "Thank you. What a nice compliment."

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2016. All rights reserved.

12 months ago, I had a very large mirror fall off the wall. Nothing was broken, and there was no apparent reason for this, for the cord and hook were both secure. This happened on my late father's birthday. Could this be him? Many different things have happened in the house over the years: lights have turned on by themselves, my shower has turned on by itself, objects have been moved. I have also seen the spirit of my cat and of my mother once when I was on vacation, but only for a few seconds. (I will never forget that!) When the lights flicker, I get a tingling feeling on my left leg, and so I respond and talk to whatever spirits may be about. I am wondering why this event happened on my father's birthday. Was it him telling me that he is the one behind all of these phenomena? If so, why knock the mirror off of the wall? It was so scary!

Jean

Susyn:

From your father and mother all the way down to your cat, it appears that you are very sensitive to the spirits of your loved ones. This is a special gift, for it keeps you in close touch with the spirit world. Because you have had so much unexplained activity in your home, it is likely that your mom and dad have taken up residence there. Lights turning on by themselves, showers and faucets running, and objects being moved are all signs that your house is alive with paranormal activity.

You do not mention it, but I wonder if you are living in the same house that belonged to your parents? This could be the reason you experience so much paranormal activity there. Your ability to see your mother's apparition while you were on vacation indicates that she is with you wherever you go. She acts as a guardian angel, always watching over and protecting you.

I definitely believe, as you do, that the mirror falling off the wall on your father's birthday was his way of trying to get your attention. Your father's spirit did not want his birthday to go unnoticed! His ability to move a heavy object off the wall, along with the fact that it did not break, affirms that he was attempting to send you an important message.

I think it's really interesting that he used a mirror to make his presence known. Spirits often show themselves through mirrors, so perhaps he was giving you a clue as to how you could see his image as well. You may want to stand in front of this mirror and take a few photographs. I wouldn't be surprised if his image or a light orb shows up in the background.

Another thing to consider is the mirror itself. Did your father have any special connection to the mirror? Was it his? If not, he may have just been asking you to reflect on his special day. If you did not do so, he might have been suggesting you pull out photos and mementos to reflect on the life you shared together.

I do feel that your father's spirit was the one who moved the mirror, but also that there are a number of entities in your house who can take credit for the many paranormal experiences you have had. None of these feel negative or harmful; it's just their way of letting you know they are around. In fact, taking pictures of other areas where you experience high spiritual activity could reveal more orbs or unusual images.

If the spirits in your house become too active or continue to frighten you, I recommend smudging your home. This won't chase out any benevolent spirits, but it should help tone down some of their activities.

*****

Oceania:

We tend to be more sensitive, emotional and aware on the birthdays and death anniversaries of our departed loved ones, and therefore more likely to notice and attribute meaning to events that might be overlooked on a more ordinary day. Objects falling to the ground can be caused by the shifting of the house or the earth beneath it. Since we can't know for sure whether your father or Mother Nature knocked the mirror down, I suggest you assign meaning to the crash rather than to try to explain it.

While it may simply have been a rambunctious hello from Dad, look for a deeper message from him or create one of your own. Any outer object can reflect our inner wisdom, which is why I use tarot cards to help access higher truths.

Think of the words, images, songs and stories you associate with mirrors. For example, when I think of one, I hear Michael Jackson singing: I'm starting with the man in the mirror. I'm asking him to change his ways. No message could have been any clearer: If you wanna make the world a better place, take a look at yourself, and then make a change!

Mirrors also remind me of the Greek myth of Narcissus, a young man who looks into a pond and becomes so enamored with his own reflection that he continues to gaze upon it until he dies. His name is the origin of the psychiatric term narcissist, which refers to a person focused upon themselves to the exclusion of others. Perhaps you're having a narcissistic moment or contending with a narcissist in your life.

Instead of providing children with the mirroring that would help them discover their unique natures, narcissistic parents impose their own feelings, tastes and goals on their children in hopes of creating mini-me's. Psychologist Karyl McBride addresses this dynamic in her book, Will I Ever Be Good Enough?

You can repeat the above association exercise with the words light and shower, since those objects grabbed your attention in the past. Just for fun, I tried combining all three objects into one visual symbol and came up with a makeup mirror that had lights around it. As you looked into it, I saw you being showered with sparkly fairy dust. It was washing away parts of you that were no longer needed or that no longer fit, and leaving only those parts that were current, authentic and genuine.

Given this vision, you might view these extraordinary events as invitations to clarify your values and see yourself as you are today in a crisp, clear way.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.