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Bringing Your Own Permission

An Excerpt from Permission Granted by Regina Louise

Recently, while in quarantine, and on a day when I can admit I was close to being bored in the house, I decided to circle back around and give the show The Good Fight some attention. I dug Christine Baranski in The Good Wife and thought, Why not? And between you and me, I still had it bad for Chris Noth from when he played the role of Mr. Big in Sex and the City. Shut up, right? I know, I know. I know he was not always so gentlemanly with our girl Carrie Bradshaw, but damn, those eyes, that height, the size of those hands. I digress. Back to my new favorite series. Okay, so I immediately fell in love with all the kick-ass chicks on The Good Fight. Tell me, who names their daughter Cush Jumbo without expecting her to stop the world in its tracks? Cush’s mama or whoever named her had no qualms about expressing their originality and setting her up to either go big or go home whenever she heard her named called. I’m just saying. Whether or not they intended to, they gave that child something to courageously grow into. And when Cush’s character, Lucca Quinn, walks into the room, the molecules change, baby. Without her saying a word, you already know that she is here for it, kicking that ass and taking their names. Talk about bringing permission to be who you are, everywhere you go. Talk about inspiring. Talk to the hand, all you common-names folks, ’cause Cush Jumbo is in the house! Granting yourself permission by bringing your own permission is powerful and courageous, allowing you to hack uncertainty by inviting what’s unknown to become known. And if you didn’t know before, now you know that I love the power of originality in names. Okay, let’s move on.

BYOP
I’d like you to consider how not only to be your own permission but also to bring it. As that old-school saying by the Buffalo Soldiers goes, “You have to bring ass to get some ass.” To win anything, you must be willing to fight for it. Therefore, you have to bring your own permission in order to get permission to get the job of being you done! Here’s another way to consider this strategy. You know how when you’re invited to a party, a cookout, a tailgating shindig, and the invite reads “BYOB,” as in bring your own beer, bottle, bae, booty, and whatever else begins with B that you’d want to tote to the party in order to have that turnt-up time you were hoping to have? Well, here, I invite you to BYOP, and yes, you guessed it, as in Bring Your Own Permission everywhere you go. Remember that fly old-school slogan from American Express Travelers Checks back in the day? There he was, Karl Malden, all earnest sounding with that voice of his commanding us: “Don’t leave home without it.” This strategy invites you to establish your relationship with and to grow your definition of bringing your own:

Permission
Power
Prettiness
Passion
Purpose
Preemptive moves

Can you imagine the impact of taking all of you everywhere you go? Bringing your own permission every time you go to the office, on a luncheon date, to the grocery store, to the gym, and all the other places you’d likely venture to on any given day ensures that you are putting yourself in the position to have agency and power at the ready. You might think of bringing your permission with you the way you would that favorite shade of Fenty lipstick you’d slide into your evening bag for that touch-up you’re likely to need at some point after dinner, drinks, and oh, yes, that passionate kiss you were holding out for. Perhaps you’ll write yourself a permission slip to remind yourself that you’re pretty enough and powerful enough, that whatever name your mama or whoever gave you is perfect just the way it is. You can place your permission slip in that same handbag and have it at your fingertips in case you need a reminder of just how close your self-approval is at any moment. To have access to your own permission is all a part of having a voice, having your say.

Regina Louise is the author of Permission Granted. Her bestselling memoirs Somebody’s Someone and Someone Has Led This Child to Believe were made into the award-winning Lifetime movie I Am Somebody’s Child: The Regina Louise Story, which was nominated for a 2020 NAACP Award for Best Director. Visit her online at http://www.IamReginaLouise.com.

Excerpted from the book Permission Granted. Copyright ©2021 by Regina Louise. Printed with permission from New World Library .

I have had this happen to me three times within a time span of several months. I am sound asleep and I hear my name being yelled out, and I awaken with a start. I live alone. I am not taking any medication, have no psychological problems, and no stress. When I hear my name, I awaken startled, look around, and I notice that I become calm, as if it was no big deal. What is up with this?

John

Susyn:

It seems you have a spirit who is trying to get your attention. As this voice knows your name, it is likely a loved one who has crossed over. Also, the fact that you become calm immediately afterward indicates that this is a benevolent soul who wants to connect with you.

I can't say why most spirits prefer to visit us at night, but I do know that when people are asleep, they are more open to this phenomenon. When we are relaxed and in a higher state of consciousness, it's easier for loved ones and spirit guides to infiltrate our dreams and speak with us directly. This is known as the alpha state; it's the reason many of us are prone to profound intuitive insights just prior to falling asleep and while waking up.

If you have had a loved one cross over recently, this may be the person who is trying to contact you. Because it always startles you out of a deep sleep, you may not recognize the voice that is calling your name. However, since this has happened three times in the last few months, I suspect that they are not going to go away until you recognize and acknowledge their presence.

The next time you hear your name being called in the middle of the night, ask the voice what it wants. If you get a response and you can identify who it is, begin a conversation with them. You can do this in a number of ways, interacting silently in your head like you are meditating, speaking out loud to them, or trying some automatic writing. Automatic writing can be a powerful tool. Keep a pen and pad handy near your bedside. When you are awakened by the voice, pick them up and write whatever comes into your head. You can also simply put pen to paper and let the spirit write out its message. If nothing happens, try again later or the next time the incident occurs.

I suspect these incidents will continue and may even become more frequent, depending on what message this entity is trying to convey. It may be that they just want you to know they are okay and doing well on the other side. If none of these methods help you to recognize who is waking you up in the middle of the night, you might engage the services of a psychic channeler. He or she can help you identify the spirit behind this voice and better yet, enable you to talk directly with them.

I encourage you to take advantage of this rare opportunity to connect with one of your loved ones in the spirit world. Based on your description, there is no reason to believe that this is a negative event, and every reason to believe that you are being blessed with an amazing gift!

*****

Oceania:

I am curious if this phenomenon occurs when you're falling asleep, for it's common to hear one's name, a knock, doorbell or phone during the earliest stage of sleep. In the song Rainbow Connection, Kermit the Frog sings, Have you been half-asleep and have you heard voices? I've heard them calling my name. Such events suggest that our unconscious mind, higher self, or a presence from beyond is trying to get our attention, so it would be wise to consider what important matter you might be neglecting.

Kermit goes on to sing, I've heard it too many times to ignore it; it's something that I'm supposed to be. Could this be true for you? Is there something you're supposed to be or become? Are you ignoring a gift or talent that could lead you down a path of purpose and passion, or perhaps there's a relationship role you've been avoiding, such as husband, father, brother, son or friend.

The fact that you feel calm when you hear your name suggests you're having a spiritual moment, and by that, I mean that you accept you're not alone in the universe. Spirituality is the recognition we're not isolated beings, but rather part of and connected to all-that-is. We realize we can't harm another being or the environment without harming ourselves.

During these transcendent moments, which often occur in nature, meditation or dreams, we experience a knowing that we exist within a matrix of energy we cannot separate ourselves from. During waking hours when our minds are busier, we're unaware of the matrix, as a fish is unaware of the water it swims in.

I chose two tarot cards from my Voyager deck in response to your question. The first is Man of Crystals, called Knight of Swords in other decks. Both Crystals and Swords refer to the mind, while Man and Knight are the seekers of the deck! This card recommends you proactively seek out new knowledge and learn something new, or see old information from a fresh perspective. The word Inventor is on the card, which suggests that you should ponder how innovation could serve you at this time.

The second card is Seven of Crystals, another aspect of the mind. The crystals depicted here appear heavy and opaque, and the word Dullness is on the card. This suggests that old thought patterns might be bogging you down; you might be stuck in a rut of close-mindedness. Imagine dusting off and polishing your thoughts and holding them up to the light. Open your mind and allow radiance to illuminate its dark corners and dissolve any fear you may have of acting boldly.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.