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by Sheila Burke

The other day, I was sitting on my front steps enjoying a mildly warm end of the afternoon. I sat gazing at the young couple across the street. They were out with their little one who is just learning to walk. They were laughing and playing, their dog barking, the baby taking a few steps and then flopping down on her butt...and then back up again 50 times over. Mom and dad were pointing things out to the baby and encouraging her to touch a leaf, watch the deer nearby, and look up at the sky.

I sat there smiling, remembering a time not all that long ago when my own kids were wee ones. They were 12, 10, and 8 when we moved here, and there was an elderly couple in that very house across the street. The lady's name was Emma. We talked quite a bit and many a day she sat on her own stoop or stood in the window with the curtain slightly drawn back, watching us play with our children in the front yard. We were always out there playing something, whether it was Frisbee, baseball, football, kick-the-can, freeze tag, or whatever the game of choice was that day. Filled with giggling, laughter and red, sweaty faces. The neighborhood kids came to play too. (In fact, one lady down the street thought we had six or seven kids, and was shocked to hear only three were actually ours.)

One day, Emma and I were talking by our mailboxes, and she said with a smile on her face, Oh how I love watching the children play, it reminds me of long ago when mine were little. That was such a long time ago, but I so enjoy watching them now. You are such good parents, always taking time to enjoy your family. That's important. She began to both smile and tear up as I walked her back to her porch from the end of the driveway.

I realized as I sat this day on my front stoop: I am now Emma. I am now the one pulling those memories from the recesses of my mind, memories I have tucked away. I see them in a different light now, all these years later. Back then, I was tired and heard the bickering over everything. I heard the I'm hot, and I'm tired, and I'm bored. I didn't see it like Emma did from the window with the curtain pulled slightly back. But now, as I sit watching from across the street, I see my memories as Emma saw them. I see the good times, I hear the laughter, and I remember days of old differently. Perhaps in the way I should have seen them in the first place.

I wonder 20 years from now what I will see when I draw back the curtain.

Sheila Burke is a married mom of three beautiful and strong young adults. Always a dabbler in putting pen to paper, Burke finally started publishing her books in 2010 with the release of her first book, Zen-Sational Living. Although she freely admits to losing her Zen now and then, this inspirational author is pleased to share her life's journey with her readers, and has done so in the many titles she has released over the years, on her blog, and through social media. To explore her wonderful books, visit her author's page at Amazon. She can be contacted via her website, ZensationalLiving.com, or her popular Facebook page, BeZensational.

I recently lost my husband of 30 years. He died at the young age of 56 of brain cancer. I felt him through all of the services, but no longer hear or feel him. He promised he would always stay with me. Why can't I hear or feel him? Thank you for you answer.

Elizabeth

Susyn:

By the time you read this letter, you should be able to hear and sense your husband around you again. You see, it seems there is a specific pattern that unfolds when a loved one passes over. I have seen this numerous times and can assure you that there is nothing to be alarmed about.

When someone dies, their presence is often felt strongly right after their passing. This typically continues up until the time of their service. Once a service has been held, people often report that the spirit of their loved one seems to go away.

This lasts about six weeks. Though I can't explain why this happens, I had the same experience when my mother passed away. I felt her spirit strongly during the week between her passing and her funeral, and held a number of conversations with her during this time. After the funeral, things went quiet.

I have attempted to channel loved ones after their passing, and can't seem to receive any reception until a month and a half have passed. In one instance, a client's father came to me during this phase, but could not speak to me. Instead, he wrote messages on a piece of paper that I was able to see. My client was not able to talk directly with him until after this cycle was complete.

My sense is that when spirits cross over, there is a sort of initiation and healing that they must go through. As we process our own grief and shock here on the earth plane, they are going through a similar set of changes. Once this is complete, they are able to communicate with us once again.

You may also want to note another series of cycles that occurs when we lose a loved one. At the three, six and nine-month anniversary of their passing, we tend to move to a different level of grieving. At these intervals, you may notice your sense of pain and loss accelerating. This is a normal occurrence. It is helpful to keep these timeframes in mind as you move forward through the grieving process.

Your husband is near you and will always remain close. As I mentioned, by this time, you may have begun to feel his presence again. Watch for signs to come from the most unusual places, in the form of animals, smells, discovered personal items and memories that seem to appear out of nowhere.

You may be ready to schedule a channeling session with a medium to speak with him, as the time of silence should have passed by now. I wish you well as you recover from this loss and transition into a new relationship with your husband, one that bridges the gap between the human and spirit worlds.

*****

Oceania:

I believe your husband has been with you all along. You felt his presence strongly when he first passed because the two of you were close in the same way that a mother is almost inseparable from her newborn infant. Given that he was recently reborn, your husband is like the infant in this particular situation.

In another way, YOU are the child and he's the wise parent watching over you. He was very close to you following his transition, comforting and reassuring you as you adapted to the big changes that resulted from his passing, including the loss of his physical presence. That was an adjustment for both of you!

As a baby becomes a toddler, parents allow and encourage a bit more independence for the sake of the child's personal growth. When parent and child are out in the world, let's say at a park or playground, there's a stage where the young child stays close by the parent's side, even clinging physically. A little later, the child begins to wander off, looking back at the parent from time to time. Visual contact alone provides the comfort now; the child no longer needs to be in constant physical contact to feel loved and secure.

You're a toddler in your grief now. Your husband has backed away some to nudge you forward and to encourage your autonomy, but you can rest assured that he's always around. With time, you will learn to perceive and enjoy his subtler signs and communications.

You'll be with your husband again someday, but for now, you're still in Earth School, Theater, Lab, Nature Retreat! You still have lessons to learn, creations to manifest, mysteries to solve and simple pleasures to relish. You can't dive back into life if you're clinging to him, so wander off a bit with confidence that your husband is still there, just at a greater distance.

You have more living to do! You might look into personal coaching to explore your next life purpose. Up until now, you've been focused on your marriage and more recently upon caregiving. Now it's time for you! Develop your gifts, read, study, learn and allow yourself to enjoy friendships and new forms of companionship. You are hereby authorized to live your life to the fullest, guilt-free.

Begin by pampering yourself. Your husband would want that! Get a massage, a new haircut, new outfit, try a new hobby, go on a spiritual retreat or plan a small trip. If you are still grieving, consider a bereavement support group. From time to time, when you least expect it, your husband will make his presence known.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.