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by Michelle Arbeau

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Imagine changing the course of your life simply by using the right words. Like Dorothy in The Wizard of OZ, who ended up safely back in Kansas by saying the magic words, "There's no place like home," you are shaping your destiny every single day through the energy of the words you speak. The words you use on a regular basis, whether thought, spoken, or written, are constantly creating your reality.

Think about some of the positive (and negative) people you know. Have you noticed that happy, successful people tend to have a positive vocabulary? Positive people exude positive energy and like all things in existence, words carry their own energetic pattern that can affect our own.

A study done in 2005 by Robert Schrauf, titled "Negative Words Dominate Language," revealed that regardless of age or nationality, each group in the study produced the same results: Fifty percent of the words we use are negative, thirty percent are positive, and twenty percent are neutral. That's a staggering statistic—but the good news is that we have the ability to change it.¹

The latest in quantum physics has revealed that at the base of an atom isn't solid matter but frozen light particles (energy). This brings scientific clout to what the metaphysical community has believed for centuries: The basis of the universe and everything in it is energy. Words are no different, and also have their own energetic signature. The words we think, speak, and write carry an energetic pattern that can interact with our own personal energetic pattern in both positive and negative ways (depending on the words and how they are used). There are many ways to measure energy, but one of the best ways, in my opinion, is through numbers. Numbers are the language of the universe; all things can be sorted, measured or counted using numbers. In fact, all numbers in existence are created using the numbers one through nine (and also zero, which is a symbol rather than a number).

Language is a gift, as no other species can speak words in a conscious manner the way that humans can. Through this conscious awareness, we are able to shape our destiny through the powerful energy of words. The key to how and what we create is in the feelings we put behind those words.

It has been said by many great spiritual teachers of past and present that there are just two emotions, from which all other emotions are derived: fear and love. Do you know which one of these two base emotions is the dominant force in your life? The answer can be found by examining the words you use.

The words you use everyday have an undertone of either love or fear (positive or negative). Examining the words you use on a daily basis will help you understand which of the base emotional patterns you're creating with.

The word love (when assigned numerical values) adds to 18 and reduces to the base number 9 (1+8=9). The 9 represents both the beginning and the end of a cycle, is the highest change pattern, and is considered the selfless humanitarian energy (as an example, the sum of the birth dates of both Gandhi and Mother Teresa is 9). Phrases such as, "Love is all there is" or, "Love conquers all" certainly ring true.

The word fear, on the other hand, vibrates to an energetic frequency of 3, the number of imagination and memory. Fears and phobias originate in the mind; we can imagine all sorts of irrational thoughts. In the negative, 3 is self-doubting and self-critical. Phrases such as, "Your mind is running away with you" or, "It's all in your imagination" support the energetic meaning of the word fear.

Now that you understand the energetic definitions of the words "love" and "fear," how do you identify with which one you create?

Grab a piece of paper and make a list of the top twenty words you use most often. Categorize them into two columns based on what you feel is their base energy: Love or Fear. Since many of us speak more negative words than positive words, it may seem at first that your list is a little lopsided.

If you do have more words in the Fear category, it's definitely time to pick new words. Negative words are like energetic junk food, and can have a strong negative influence on what you're creating in your life moment by moment.

Start changing out your negative words for a positive version by setting a goal of one word per week. Use the new word in sentences (written and spoken) as often as possible, and put it on sticky notes where it's visible to you throughout the day. These are just a couple of suggestions, but feel free to create your own strategy. It's important to find a method that works for you so that you'll stick with it. Don't expect overnight changes, but do expect over time to see your life shift into positivity with the more you think, speak, and write in the positive.

The challenge is to change your driving force from a place of fear to love—and you can start by changing your vocabulary. Words, like our mind, are tools to help us manifest what we want in life. Our feelings are the energetic momentum behind those tools, guiding the energy in a positive or negative direction. The bottom line is that the people, places, and things with which you interact should make you feel good. If they don't, that's your cue to change them.

To go more in-depth with your list and to discover the precise energetic definition of your word list, pick up a copy of The Energy of Words: Use the Vibration of Language to Manifest the Life You Desire. In it you'll find a word conversion chart to calculate a word's numerical pattern, strategies for changing your language patterns, how to create personalized affirmations that actually work, a glossary of the top positive and negative words, and many more tools to help you successfully modify your language patterns.

¹ Schrauf, Robert W. and Julia Sanchez (2004), "The Preponderance of Negative Emotion Words Across Generations and Across Cultures," Journal of Multilingual and Multicultural Development, 25:(2–3), 266–284.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2013. All rights reserved.

I recently lost my father in a very sudden and shocking manner, for he was fit as a fiddle with no ailment whatsoever. A day after his burial, I dreamed that my husband (God forbid!) went off somewhere and also died. In the dream, I was crying and wondering what would happen to my two little boys. Just then, my father came into the dream and consoled me. When I woke up, I felt sick. My head was heavy and it took me a while to realize that this was just a dream, that my husband was alive. This was not the first time I dreamed of his death. The first time was a couple of years ago, when I dreamed that he died in a car accident and an ambulance came to our house. Please help me understand why I'm having these dreams. Since my father's death I have become so scared. I love my husband very much and just can't imagine life without him. Do you think these dreams are trying to tell me something? They are deeply upsetting. Can you help?

Sumaira

Susyn:

Dreams can be unsettling, especially when they portray the loss of a loved one. It's important to remember that our dreams are one way we process our deepest fears; they allow us to live out our worst nightmares in our subconscious instead of facing those events in real life.

Your father's sudden death left a huge hole in your heart and in your life. It's not uncommon to develop fears of losing your husband or other loved ones when something like this happens, for it heightens your awareness of death and makes you much more aware of how precious and short life can be.

Both your father and husband play important roles in your life, so losing one or the other is sure to affect you on every level of your being. The dreams you are experiencing are not prophetic; they do not imply that your husband will pass soon or in an unexpected way. Your subconscious is not warning you about the future; it's using these dreams to help you process some overwhelming fears.

There are a few things you can do to feel more empowered and less fearful. You can start a daily meditation designed to send protection to your husband as well as your sons. Asking Spirit to watch over them when you can't will help to disable your fear and diffuse your sense of powerlessness.

You can provide your husband and sons with protective stones to wear or carry. Quartz crystal, turquoise and lapis lazuli are great choices for creating a protective energy field around your family. You should also wear one of these stones and place one under your pillow to counteract these upsetting dreams.

I would like to mention that the dream in which your father came to visit and comfort you was actually a visit from him. It was so moving and realistic that you weren't sure if it was real or a dream. You also had a strong physical reaction. These are signs that this was a spiritual experience quite different from the other dreams you describe.

You can ask your father to visit you in your dreams and request that he give you other signs of his presence. As he recovers from his transition and grows stronger on the other side, you'll be able to interact with him on a regular basis, which should make your grieving process go much faster.

Your fatherís sudden passing has reminded you of how precious each day is because our loved ones can be gone in an instant. This awareness can be put to good use by treasuring the time you spend with your husband and sons, and shifting your perspective when things become trying or frustrating with them. As you move forward with this, your ability to practice unconditional love will grow, and your fear of losing your loved ones will diminish.

*****

Mata Maya:

I'm glad you asked about this, for what you describe is a common pattern of experience: Your father dying unexpectedly threw your whole being into something of a spiritual crisis, and now you are struggling to work through your beliefs and feelings about death.

You wrote that ever since your father's demise, you have been very scared. This fear is what is behind these dreams. Since you've been unable to find the understanding you need to be at peace in your waking life, your subconscious mind is working overtime to help you to process this traumatic experience and move toward a higher level of relationship to it and death in general.

Whenever we carry the fear of something happening that we believe would utterly destroy us emotionally, our subconscious minds will lead us back to that issue in various ways so that we can begin to get a handle on it.

Back when my children were babies, I was overcome with intense fear of something happening to them. Before that time, I had been more curious than fearful of death, so this was most unsettling. I would constantly worry about what could go wrong, and in so doing, I visualized some terrible things in my head.

Worriers believe on some level that by thinking of everything, they will be able to control what happens. Of course, none of us can really control destiny, so eventually, we must begin to make peace with all that is beyond our influence. These dreams are showing you that you have a lot of work to do in terms of making peace with the inevitability of death, developing a sound spiritual belief system, and cultivating faith in a higher plan.

Believe it or not, there are people who are at peace with death because their faith in a higher plan is even stronger than their love of this life and the temporary forms their various soul friends are taking this lifetime. Just the other day, I was talking to a woman about the need for us all to seize the day, and she just shrugged and said, Whatever comes after this life will be just as good ñ probably better!

Your father's death has pushed a big spiritual button for you. These dreams are asking you to consider how you would handle it if someone even dearer to you were to die. They are calling you to study spiritual teachings related to death so that you can begin to weave together a belief system that resonates with your soul and helps you face life's uncertainties with equanimity.

With this in mind, I encourage you to begin reading the fascinating research available on subjects like near-death experiences, reincarnation and afterlife communication, for the more you know and understand, the more at peace you'll be.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.