Double Vision: What Life Lessons are Narcissists Learning?

Almost a year ago, I broke up with a severe narcissist. I trusted him and gave him my love, my trust and my support. He used me, betrayed me, and could never admit to what he had done although he bragged about things to everyone else. He nearly destroyed my relationship with my family by stealing thousands from them to spend on call girls. While I realize he was a lesson to me and I have forgiven him in my heart because it must be AWFUL to be such a person, I am still wondering what is happening on a spiritual level for the narcissist. Thanks!



A narcissist is someone who is completely self-focused and self-centered. Narcissists have no conscience or awareness of how their actions affect others.

It must be very difficult to forgive and even harder to forget this devastating experience. I agree that this was a lesson for you as well as an experience that could make it very hard to trust others in the future. The blessing is that he is now out of your life. I can assure you that the next time you run across a narcissist, you will find it much easier to spot him for what he is.

Because your ex is cut off from Spirit, there may not be much happening on a spiritual level for him. Narcissists like to think that they are in control of their lives. If anything positive happens to them, they believe they created it themselves. If anything of a negative nature occurs, they blame it on others.

Because of his skewed view of the world, your ex will continue to repeat the same patterns of using others. Until he begins to experience consequences for his actions and his methods stop working, he'll have no reason to change. Eventually, however, he will learn that what we do to others comes back to us.

Karmically, it's just a matter of time before his actions begin to backfire. The timing and manner of these events is up to the Universe, but when it does happen, he will be the one with great lessons in store. This may involve devastating experiences, as that may be what he needs to wake up and realize he has to change.

We don't always get to witness the karmic retribution we are entitled to, but you can rest assured that at some point, he will be stopped in his tracks. Your job is to heal your own wounds and disengage from any concern about what is happening to him, as these thoughts will keep you bound to him on an energetic level.

To keep his memory at bay and prevent him from doing any further harm, I recommend you use my freezing ritual, which can be found in the free downloads area of my Kajama profile. While performing this ritual, include a written request that he also be blocked from harming, using and stealing from others as well. Asking the Universe to protect others from being victimized by him will help you heal on a spiritual level and align you with positive karma.

I'm sorry about your bad experience with this man, but I can assure you that this lesson holds many gifts for you beyond teaching you whom you can trust. You now have new awareness and are no doubt grateful that you were able to break free of him and move on to happier, healthier relationships.



Narcissism is a personality disorder, which means it is a deeply engrained pattern of thinking and behaving that leads to relationship and career problems. From a spiritual perspective, narcissists are lost in the illusion of separation. Their spiritual tasks are to become found again and reconnect with the whole, and to accept the fundamentally flawed nature of all human beings. Thereís no need for us to condemn them or say that narcissists should be different, for they are on a path with unique lessons and challenges just like we all are.

Despite having fragile egos, those with NPD have a sense of entitlement and believe they are superior and special. Their expectations of perfection and rages over imperfection can be distressing to those around them.

Narcissists can't see from other people's points of view, so they have little regard for others' feelings and needs. They treat people as objects or specimens, and use them without qualms. One of their manipulative tools is charm. When theyíre not berating you, theyíre praising you excessively to lure you closer; youíre either basking in their admiration or groveling for forgiveness and promising to do better.

Since your ex was able to steal thousands of dollars from your family, you probably all idealized him while ignoring red flags. Perhaps you felt coerced or intimated by him; it often feels easier to give in to keep the peace than to risk verbal abuse and shaming.

We were all narcissists early in life. Toddlers canít see another personís point of view and feel frustrated when they donít get their way. Most of us mature and learn to share, take turns, forgive and tolerate frustration. Psychologically, the narcissist is stuck at a very young age.

Those with personality disorders are low on will power; their soulís light is dim, as if nobodyís home. They can seem like machines running rampant with no one at the controls. Since they don't perceive themselves as having a problem, they don't seek help. Most medical plans do not cover personality disorders because there is little chance the patient will benefit from intervention. Those who live WITH the personality-disordered are much more likely to seek and benefit from treatment.

You say you trusted this man. Instead of trusting other people, I recommend you trust in your own judgment. Indiscriminately giving love and support to someone who can't reciprocate is a bad investment. Self-preservation must be your top priority. Your goal is to recognize that there are no true enemies in life - only teachers. Narcissists provide us with endless opportunities to practice compassion while remaining gracefully assertive.


Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.