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    • The Compassion Cure

      by Amy Leigh Mercree

      (Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

      Imagine this scenario: You're walking down a street and you pass a person sitting on a park bench. You can see, even from the distance, in this person's posture that says something is a little off. As you get closer, you see the person is slouching over and sobbing.

      What do you feel? Perhaps you feel the tug on your heartstrings, and the empathy towards this person immediately enters your emotional being. But what do you do? What you do next is the difference between feeling empathy and sharing a moment of compassion.

      So many of us feel all the feels, but rarely do we act upon it. When you see that person on that park bench, do you pause and then keep walking? Or do you pause, take a seat next to the person, and wish them a good day? Or perhaps offer a listening ear to a stranger? To what extent would you offer yourself as a beacon of support to another being?

      Acts of compassion are rooted in a more sensitive state of mind and act as an extension of empathy. Compassion in action is the impetus to go beyond the initial emotional experience, and act toward positive change in a situation in which you feel so moved. Whether it's something small like holding the door for an elderly person, or something large like starting a non-profit organization in the name of something you care about, compassion can come in many different shapes and forms.

      The seeds of compassion extend through all life forms; from the tiniest insect to the largest animal, compassion is widespread throughout the entire animal kingdom. There are may stories of animals helping one another from dolphins, to alligators, to elephants. The possibility of compassion extends beyond humans into all sentient beings.

      Let's take a look at the role of compassion, the energy behind it, and how to develop a daily practice towards being a compassionate being.

      The Origins of Bodhisattva
      Bodhisattva is the Sanskrit term for a person motivated by great compassion. Oftentimes, this person is on a pathway towards enlightenment and is actively finding deeper, stronger, and more frequent acts of compassion.

      Buddha is thought of as the original Bodhisattva, as he was the epitome of kindness and selflessness. Those who follow in Buddha's steps and path are known as Bodhisattvas.

      Maybe we aren't exactly all the next Buddha or Bodhisattvas. However, there has been a huge rise in the practice of yoga in the Western world, bringing with it a heightened awareness around the absolute necessity of compassion.

      In any given yoga or meditation class, you might hear a very popular chant that encompasses the prayer and dedication of compassion:

      "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bavantu: May all beings everywhere live happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

      Feminine Energy and the Goddess Tara
      Our subtle and emotional bodies, which are located in our physical structures, are made up of different types of energies. The two biggest energy forces are the yin and yang of it all—the masculine and the feminine.

      Masculine energy rules processes like willfulness, work ethic, and structure. Feminine energy, however, is the driving force behind empathy (as stated earlier, the fuel for compassion).

      So when the two come together, an interesting and unique force develops into a virtuous liberation. Typically, a Bodhisattva is a male, following in Buddha's footsteps. Yet the Goddess Tara, the most notable female Bodhisattva, is the representative of the embodiment of compassion. Known as "The Mother of Liberation," she represents the willful drive of empathy into action, creating compassion through work and achievement. Whether "Tara" is an actual female person or just a representative conjured up in the ideas mixed together in Hinduism and Buddhism to create a feminine representation of this energy force, it is believed that she hears the cries of pain and suffering and offers mercy, warmth, strength, and a lifeline away from enduring pain.

      Daily Practices of Compassion
      We can look at Goddess Tara as a representative of the mother that plants the seeds of development toward compassion. And just like Tara, our own Earth provides a feminine energy and transformative platform for that compassion to bud and grow.

      You don't have to run out and save the world to be considered compassionate. Small steps in your everyday life can develop compassion, which will bud and grow along the way.

      • Stop and Smell the Flowers
        It's an age-old saying to encourage people to slow down and take in life in the moment. Being present creates the space to accept and receive each other and what's around all of us all the time. But when you literally stop to smell the flowers, you are providing life force for yourself as well as another living being. Flowers give off oxygen, and we give off carbon dioxide. While it's not necessarily a one-to-one ratio in the oxygen and carbon dioxide exchange, giving a little extra breath to a flower gives it more life and sustainability. And you get to take a moment to embrace its beauty. This moment of pause and exchange builds towards compassion through elements of connection and appreciation for other beings.
      • Hold the Door
        The next time you're out, try holding the door for someone else. That person might receive that and immediately send it off to someone else, as you may have heightened their attitude. You never know what someone's going through….something so small such as opening a door for him or her may just be that extra little piece to make sun shine bright in their life.
      • Send a Smile
        Perhaps the easiest and fastest way to share compassion is to just simply smile at someone. Humans have a natural tendency to smile back when smiled at—help someone turn that frown upside down. It's the easiest form of compassion there is.
      • Give a Compliment
        Telling someone that they look nice may not seem compassionate, but by paying a compliment, you are lightening a person's heart, even if he or she may not realize it. So many of us carry so much on our hearts and shoulders, that we often take it out on ourselves. Give a person a little space to breathe by saying something that will make them feel appreciated.
      • Breathe In, Breathe Out: A Daily Mantra
        Even if you've never even stepped foot in a yoga class, the mantra mentioned earlier is a wonderful way to start your day, and sends out the energy to the world and space around you that you truly and selflessly wish for everyone to have peace, joy, and freedom.
        As you start your day, take a moment to repeat the words:

        "Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bavantu: May all beings everywhere live happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."

      And to you, an arbiter of empathy and strength, may you continue to find daily moments along the way, recognize them, integrate them, and give devotion to the selfless compassion in your heart and being.

      Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2017. All rights reserved.

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    • Double Vision: Does everything happen for a reason?

      contemplation

      Does everything happen for a reason? Are there ever times when we just hit a patch of bad luck, and just need to take it for that? I always try look for the lessons to be learned from my experiences, both good and bad. Usually, I can see that things worked out for the best, and try not to repeat past mistakes. However, I really can’t see the point of my last relationship. I’ve dated less than nice guys my whole life, and I finally found someone who was very sweet to me. In the end, he chose his career over me, and I am still heartbroken. We got along wonderfully. This is his first big job out of grad school, so I can understand why he may not be ready to settle down. Also, he had a very bad experience with a previous long distance relationship. I have a lot of things going on in my life now, with starting a business and having to relocate, and thinking about him is the last thing I need. I was doing just fine before I met him, so I guess I’m still trying to figure out why he had to come into my life. Could this be just something that happened randomly that I need to forget about? Thanks for listening!

      Evelyn

      Dreamchaser:

      My personal opinion, Evelyn, is that everything does happen for a reason. I have been in this line of work for way too long to not believe that. You say that you have “dated less than nice guys your whole life.” That happened simply because you did not demand a man with better character.

      We could go back to your childhood and rehash all the reasons you are this way, but you already know all of that. So you would accept less than desirable men, thinking that if you could get them to change, then you were truly a woman to be valued.

      Somewhere in all of that, you learned to value yourself. This man is proof that you are finally allowing a better type of person into your life. He was so good in so many ways. He did things that you thought only happened to other women or in movies or books. You discovered ways that you did not know you could feel. He treated you better than anyone has yet. He was not, however, perfect for you.

      I know at this point you think he is, but as you said, sometimes when we look back, we see things differently. You will look back on him and see that he was indeed the catalyst of a new way of living and dating for you. He is not, however, who you are meant to spend your whole life with. I know that is very hard to hear now, but I do not want you to look at the negative side of this. Look at the positive side.

      If he is not the one you are meant to spend your life with, then that must mean someone even better is coming, correct? You are correct; there is someone coming. I do not want you to close up for fear of further pain. I want you to stay open and expect even better love. This time you want to manifest someone who is not afraid of relationships and commitment, and who is ready for a give and take, loving relationship. This guy that you have been with is a wonderful, loving man, but he still has some issues of his own. He did, however, show you that you could have more than you have had in the past.

      Your whole life is busting open for lack of a better term. You are going to start reaping rewards for your efforts. You feel like you have not yet been duly compensated for all of your hard work in this life. Well, hang on, girl. It is all going to start flowing in now. There is not one single area of your life that is not going to be blessed with abundance. I want you to get into acceptance mode. Also, do not forget to say thank you to God/spirit/universe/ Allah – whatever term you prefer.

      I wish you fulfillment.

      *****

      Astrea:

      Everything does happen for a reason because we choose for it to. Being with this latest guy was just a choice you made at the time he came into your life. No big destiny is at work here – only your free will and emotions! You both made a free choice to be together, and to break up too.

      You’ve realized a lot of things about yourself through being with him. You now know everything that you don’t want in a partner. Even though he was sweet to you, he couldn’t give you what you needed in the relationship at the time. This does not mean that it would never work. If you’re willing to do what it would take, you could have a relationship with him. If he isn’t the person you thought he was, then you’re right to move on in a different direction.

      If you do want to explore more with him, you’ll have to make some real sacrifices for love. Most people are not willing to do that. You’re busy starting a business of your own. Couldn’t you start that business in his location? If he’s still important to you, you’ll do just that. If this relationship is worth it to you (and no one else can decide that for you), you can still resurrect it from the ashes, but you will have to be the one to initiate everything for a while.

      These days, most people won’t change their life plans for love. Unless the person they want to be with is pursuing them and initiating at least half of the contact and communication, they feel slighted and unloved. This is a pervasive attitude that will change in our culture as time goes by, but right now, people expect too much from each other. Every day I hear about relationships that fail because no one is willing to meet the other person halfway.

      I sincerely believe that when we begin a relationship, we know somewhere deep inside ourselves how it’s going to turn out. Yet we often try to make the person we’re with into the person we want him or her to be in our minds. Eventually, we realize they are not the person we have been imagining them to be. Many times the goals each partner has are too different to blend well together.

      I feel that when your fellow took this first job after school, he was trying to make a good life so that he could have a serious relationship with you. You chose to feel abandoned by this, and he chose to let you. You both had reasons for doing this. If you still miss him – and I think you do – reach out to him before it’s too late, and try to get this working again. It doesn’t have to be over unless that’s what you really want. You still have time.

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