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An excerpt from Loving Out Loud by Robyn Spizman

While it can be easy to feel like it is impossible to make a positive difference in these divisive times, the new book Loving Out Loud: The Power of a Kind Word by New York Times bestselling author Robyn Spizman promises that our words can go a long way in that regard, especially when we share them out loud.

Loving Out Loud offers readers creative ideas and practical insights for cultivating kindness in their lives while connecting more deeply with the world around them. The book is divided into chapters that provide readers with powerful ways for raising kinder children; loving their significant others, family, and friends; and valuing teachers, coworkers, and everyone in between. We hope you will enjoy this excerpt from the book.

Since I haven’t thanked you yet today, let me do so now. I realize you could be doing any number of things at this very second, but you chose to read this article. For that I am truly grateful.

Having a mindful, kind attitude can change our view of life. I like to think of it as being a kindness “influencer,” as with social media. Imagine together starting a Loving Out Loud (LOL) campaign of caring about each other. Watch what happens when you share an attitude of gratitude in your world and show appreciation to others out loud — it’s electric and kinetic!

Albert Schweitzer summed up gratitude when he said, “Often...our own light goes out, and is rekindled by some experience we go through with a fellow-man. Thus we have each of us cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

When we appreciate someone and become that spark, a thank-you becomes a gift and lights us up. We all have so many people to thank. How we thank someone becomes part of our signature style of kindness. Studies continue to prove that the more we do for others, the happier we feel. There is a direct correlation. Cultivating kindness is a wonderful opportunity to uplift others as well as ourselves. When we turn our attention to noticing what we are grateful for, we bring out the best in ourselves.

If you stop and think of all the people you know who deserve a thank-you, you’ll be surprised to see just how many have an impact on your day, along with your life.

How a Thank-You Can Brighten Your Life
There are days when we all feel down or blue. A thank-you “out loud” is a really nice way I know to shift a mood. It can begin with the power of a simple hello, showing your genuine delight and lift up another person, including yourself.

A kindhearted hello leads to friendships, new contacts, relationships, and more. You are not just breaking the ice but are igniting an opportunity when you take the risk to connect with another person and reach out first, sharing positive words or an observation. You create the possibility of making a new friend. In return, you are also seen as friendly, outgoing, considerate, engaging, complimentary, and interested. These good traits contribute to making a wonderful first impression.

Be Thankful Out Loud
The words thank you are universal in their ability to spread good feelings. It’s clear that when we thank the people who touched our lives in little as well as powerful ways, we celebrate a part of life that validates each other.

Think for a moment:
Who has helped you along the way in your lifetime?
Who wrote recommendation letters on your behalf?
Who took the time to teach you to ride a bike, read a book, play an instrument, hit a home run, play tennis, or cook a special recipe?
Who makes your life easier or has come to your rescue?
Is there someone who has been there for you through thick and thin?
Do you practice saying “thank you”?

Every day there are opportunities around you, and when you seize them out loud, you build and increase your LOL radar. When you see someone in uniform who has served the country or provides safety or a public service, get in the habit of saying, “Thank you for your service.”

Here are some other ideas.
Make a Thank-You Date

A friend recently reminded me how special it is to thank others out loud with a scheduled “thank you” date or get-together. Every year, she takes her babysitters out for a thank-you lunch dedicated to expressing her appreciation. It makes her kids’ caregivers feel special, and they make new friends at these dates, since they have so much in common. Whether it’s a lunch to thank a teacher, breakfast to thank Grandma for driving car pool, a mother-daughter walk at the park, or a dinner with a friend who volunteered to help you, thank-you dates are memorable and a tradition worth establishing.

Having written about the topic of thanks, love, and kindness for decades, I’ve discovered many clever ways to say “thank you,” some that don’t even use those words. For example, I loved it when a younger gentleman gave a handshake to an elderly coworker and said, “I want to shake the hand of the nicest person I’ve ever had the pleasure to work with. You are one generous soul.”

I continue to marvel at all thank-yous that make us feel appreciated, but some hit it right out of the park. I’ll never forget one I received that made me smile from ear to ear. It has stuck with me over the years as among the most touching thank-yous ever to warm my heart.

I sent a holiday gift to a friend of mine’s daughter. As she opened it, her parents videotaped her reaction and sent me the thank-you video capturing her excitement. Her joy in unwrapping her present was off the charts. That was one gift that kept on giving joy!

Robyn Spizman is the author of Loving Out Loud. She is an award-winning, New York Times bestselling author and popular keynote speaker who has appeared in the media for over three decades, including NBC’s Today show more than thirty times. She lives in Atlanta. Visit her online at robynspizman.com.

Purchase Loving Out Loud on Amazon.com

Excerpted from the book Loving Out Loud. Copyright ©2019 by Robyn Spizman. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I'm a professional psychic, and I am always trying to further develop my gifts. What I'm wondering is why I tend to become a thirsty psychic sponge when I least expect it. For example, when I go to my day job and I don't want to be in psychic mode, I seem to pick up things about my coworkers whether I like it or not. This happens even though I surround myself with a psychic filter or barrier, as I've been taught to do. For example, lately I pick up that a platonic male friend of mine clearly has more than just friendship on his mind. It has been overwhelming to pick up on his desires for me in the middle of the day while I'm at work. He is well aware of my abilities, and for that reason he has taken to avoiding me completely. I would never risk our friendship by telling him that I know about his fantasies about me, though I wish he would confess and tell me about his feelings. How do I shut myself off from this sort of input even after I've closed myself off from psychic impressions in general?

 - Deborah

Dreamchaser:

I'm glad you mentioned this barrier we psychics throw up when we're going about our day-to-day lives. I can just see it in people's faces when they find out what I do; it's that old, "Are you reading me now?" look. I want to put everyone's minds at ease: If you are socializing with a psychic, you are not in danger of being read!

There are, of course, messages or energy we receive that we can't control. If someone is dangerous, or if I need to be warned or alerted to something, that information will come through. Most psychics can tell when someone is lying. (I still chuckle that people even try to lie to me.)

We may be able to shut off the part of us that "reads" people when we are living our day-to-day life, but we can never shut down the part of us that receives, transmits, and responds to the energy that is all around us.

Every living thing gives off energy. When we walk past a tree, we feel the energy coming from that tree. When we walk into a room, we feel the energy of the person.

You are feeling this man's energy, and you have not yet found a way to shut it down. You have that whole "love thing" going on with him; love is the strongest energy and the strongest emotion. Love energy will affect every single person it comes into contact with.

So to answer your question, there is no way to shut down this type of psychic input. Very strong emotional energy from other people is not the sort of thing we can totally block out. The more enlightened and aware we become, the more energy we will feel.

I don't recommend you tell this man that you know how he feels and the fantasies he has about you, for I think that could be taken as a huge invasion of privacy. (It may also totally freak him out; I know it would be really freaky to me.)

If you like him too, you can just ask him to do something with you, or you can stand back and let him come to you when he's ready. You cannot, however, use your psychic gifts to help you covertly get closer to him, or the karma police will be kicking down your door.

If you don't share his interest, you can ask your guides, angels, and other beings, including God and the universe, to help you turn off as much of his energy as possible. You should ask for this help out loud, in a very simple way. For example, you might say:

"God, this energy is very uncomfortable for me. Please take away as much of it as possible so I don't have to suffer in this situation. Thank you."

I wish you peace with all your psychic perceptions.

*****

Astrea:

I'm a professional psychic too, but I never, ever read for myself! I don't trust my vision when it comes to my own issues or the problems my family members may be facing. I don't like to read for my close friends, either. I've never asked a romantic question for myself ñ I'd be too scared what the answer might be!

Even with these rules I've made for myself, sometimes things come to me that I would rather not see. Since I work alone, this happens most often when I'm at the grocery store, where I see into the lives of strangers even though I don't want to.

There is nothing you can do about those random people whose pain is so deep that it's going to come through to you no matter how hard you block it or how many psychic barriers you erect. People in pain have strong emotions, and if you're sensitive like you say you are, you'll pick up on them every time. The hardest part is to refrain from telling people if you have solutions to their problems!

When the person is someone you know well who is feeling love for you, it's another matter entirely. Your platonic friend does have feelings for you, and yes, he's avoiding you because he doesn't know where you stand. The feeling that something is breaking through your psychic barriers indicates that you need to clear the air with him.

If you've been reading for other people for any length of time, then you know how important it is to keep a professional distance and not get involved with those folks. If this man's feelings are imposing on you this way, then there is either something he wants from you, or something you want from him that you are projecting onto him. It could be that both of you are feeling something for the other, but you're afraid to speak up about it.

Since he knows about your abilities, confronting him won't take him by surprise. He knows you know and he's been expecting you to say something. My feeling is that one or both of you is married, and that's why you don't feel you should speak to him about this. (Another reason he's been avoiding you is because he doesn't want trouble.)

If you value his friendship, then you have to talk to him about all of this, whether anything can come of it or not. Remember, sometimes love happens when and where we least expect it. You may have some difficult decisions to make, but that's life. Discuss this together and work it out!

As far as shutting out undesired psychic input, I'm not sure that's always possible; sometimes you need to face some things you'd rather not know.