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    • 3 Reasons to Write a Forever Letter

      by Elana Zaiman

      (Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

      Email. Text. Twitter. Facebook. Instagram. With all the technological advances in communication, writing meaningful letters to connect with the people we care about has fallen by the wayside. One hundred and forty characters may work for communicating facts, necessary information, and quick expressions of love, but for many of us it's not enough. We feel somehow that the quality of our communication has diminished, that it is not as meaning-filled as it once was or as it can be. If this is an issue for you, consider writing a Forever Letter.

      Let me be clear up front—a Forever Letter is not just a newsy note, an "I love you" letter, or a sharing of the day's doings. A Forever Letter is a heartfelt letter we write to the people who matter to us most—it's one of those special and memorable moments when we share our values, wisdom, appreciation, hopes, gratitude, and love, when we ask for forgiveness and forgive.

      This may seem like a daunting task, especially if you're not a writer, but fear not. You don't have to be a writer to write a Forever Letter. You have only to be yourself. There are many reasons to write a Forever Letter. Here are three:

      1. Sometimes You Can Write What You Cannot Speak
        You want so much to say something to someone you love, but each time you try, you feel the words stick in your throat. You wonder if your critical tone will get in the way. Or you're afraid you'll get too emotional when you talk about a particularly sensitive issue and you're worried this may make the person to whom you're speaking uncomfortable. Or you just have trouble communicating with a person you love.In my book, The Forever Letter, I tell the story of Cora, who said that when she was in her teens she and her dad had trouble talking so she took to writing him letters and placing them in his suitcase before he went off on business trips. It worked. He always wrote from the road. Cora said that in their letters, they worked out a lot of issues.

        When you sit down to write a Forever Letter, you may find that what you want to communicate is easier communicated in writing, at least initially. Perhaps this initial written communication changes the landscape for how you communicate in person. It could be that the words on the page open the door for an in-person conversation.

      2. The Process of Writing Can Take You to The Heart of The Matter
        You start to write a speech or perhaps you're writing in your journal, and as you begin to write, you realize you're not writing about what you had thought you would write about, but you are writing about what you need to write. The very act of writing has taken you to a deeper place. You, the editor, are no longer in control. Your heart is.This happened to Janine, a spunky eighty-one-year-old. Janine had been a triathlete in her younger years and sported a bumper sticker on her car (a gift from one of her daughters) that said, "Still running." When she reflected on her writing experience at the end of the workshop I facilitated, Janine said that she came to understand her bumper sticker in this new light: she has been running so much in her life, she needs to stop running and be more present to her relationships.

        This can happen when you write a Forever Letter. A different way of thinking may emerge. Feelings may pour out that you didn't even know you had, and you may find yourself in a deeper, more honest place, seeing yourself as you truly are, not as the person you imagine yourself to be. Or, perhaps you find yourself seeing the person you're writing to as who that person really is, not as who you are imagining that person to be. This understanding is possible when we sit down to write with the intention of reflecting on ourselves, the person(s) we're writing to, and the relationship we share. If you're not sure where to begin, don't worry! The Forever Letter provides step-by-step guidance to get you going.

      3. A Loving Way to Ask for Forgiveness and to Forgive
        Something's been bothering you about a family member, friend, colleague, or teacher for years. It darkens your heart like a storm cloud. Is it you who needs to ask for forgiveness for something you said or did? Or, are you the one who needs to forgive? Perhaps it's a little of both. So, what do you do? You have options. You can continue to carry this darkness within or you can move toward the light of healing.A Forever Letter is a thoughtful way to move toward healing. It's often easier to ask for forgiveness or to forgive in a letter than it is in person. The writing process can often help us to understand the hurt and to process the past in a reflective way. We may even discover that before we can ask for forgiveness from another or forgive another we need to forgive ourselves first. Writing about forgiveness allows us the time to craft our words to say what we truly want them to say, to work on our tone, and to be sure our love shines through.

      So, why write a Forever Letter? The three reasons just mentioned: sometimes you can write what you cannot speak; the process of writing can take you to the heart of the matter; and writing a Forever Letter is a loving way to ask for forgiveness and to forgive.

      So, let go your fears. Set time aside to write, and let The Forever Letter: Writing What You Believe for Those You Love serve as your writing companion.

      Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2017. All rights reserved.

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    • Double Vision: Does the Universe Force Us to Rest?

      IM2images

      My birth date is 11/27/48. Life has been tough lately. I can’t find work, had to fight to get grant money to upgrade my skills, and have been fighting the VA to upgrade my disability. I was at a metaphysical fair a while back, and while looking at some merchandise, a woman walked up to me and told me that the universe wants me to rest, and that’s why I’m having all these problems, why I can’t seem to get a job, etc. Does the universe/spirit decide such things as when I need a rest in my life? I have worked most of my life and have chosen to remain single. I have gone through all my assets and I am scared I will not have enough to retire on. If what that woman said is true, the universe/spirit has picked the worst time to force me to rest. I don’t know if I can handle much more, especially living here in the desert. What do you think?

       – Karen

      Dreamchaser:

      Karen, you say that “the universe/spirit has picked the worst time to force” you to rest. Would there have been a better time in your life? Were you ever at a point where you were able, in any form, to take a rest? I would venture to say the answer to those questions is “no.” There is no good time for struggle. We tend to say, “Why now?” Well, as I said, there is never going to be a better time.

      Whenever we struggle in any way (with finances, health, faith, etc.), we try to find a solution or an answer. The iceberg theory applies here: We can usually only see the tip of things. Under the surface, there is a huge mountain of ice that is keeping everything frozen. You cannot see why this is happening, so your efforts to try to fix things are not really helping at all. There is a bigger plan. You just are not privy to it at this time, so all the fixing that you are trying to do is not accomplishing much of anything except making you tired.

      I keep flashing back to a man from the Bible named Job. I am sure you have heard of him. His problems were not even about his life; the problems were a result of God and the Devil doing battle – a bet, if you will. All Job did “wrong” was to be the most just man on the planet. He was tortured for being too good. I think you need to look at Job as an example in your own life. Read about him if you can. Maybe you’ll get some much-needed inspiration.

      You also said another mouthful when you wrote, “I am scared.” This is like a light switch: It cannot be both on and off. We cannot be walking in faith and afraid concurrently. You believe in spirit enough to go to a metaphysical fair and listen to something a woman told you out of the blue. Maybe you should seek your faith that is missing. If you could find it, you would stop trying to fix things, and you would be at peace with how life is, because you would know that things would move again when the time is right.

      I do understand how you feel. We all lose our faith from time to time. It is time for you to go looking for it again. You have worried and tried to fix things for long enough. Just because we are suffering and things are very difficult does not mean that spirit has abandoned us. It just means that we are going through hard times and they’ve gotten the better of us. It’s easy to trust when things are good. Are we really that fickle?

      I wish you attainment.

      *****

      Astrea:

      Your birthday is so close to mine that I feel your pain. I get tired, too. I think you probably know all this about Sagittarians, but here goes:

      We are lucky. No matter what happens, something always comes along to save us.  You can’t find a job right now? When you get down to your last two nickels, a dream job will fall right into your lap. You can’t get yourself motivated to get going? Something to inspire you will come along after this last Mercury Retrograde.

      Everyone gets depressed from time to time, but a Sag knows how to get herself out of that state. You need to do some blasting, that’s all. Never give up!

      I know what an awful year it’s been for you: Stress piling onto more big piles of stress, people being ugly and rude, family letting you down at every turn. Yes, I do know. This next year, however, is going to be fabulous for fire signs. We’re finally going to slow down enough to allow the abundance the universe has planned for us to come into our lives.

      Perhaps this was what the lady in the store was trying to tell you. Sit tight now, waiting and resting, and let these things start to stack up on the positive side of your life. You’re going to be so busy in 2004 (???) making money and having a good time that this is the only down time you’ll have for a long time. Take advantage of it until January 6 (???), and then go all out to get what you’ve only dreamed of before.

      As for the universe wanting us to rest. If that were so, I would be back in bed this morning! Whether it’s a blessing or not, a Sag is driven to do everything but rest! From my own Sagittarius experience, I know very well that rest is a foreign concept to us; it’s something we do when we’re sick. It’s that way with all fire signs, but we seem to get an extra dose of “busy hands are happy hands.” Even if you’re not working, you can be creating. Write, dance, walk, run, play! Lots of exercise will help you get straightened out, and will lift that depression, too!

      As tempting as it might be to heed the stranger who came up to you in that store, I think you know that was just the Devil trying to make you lazy. As a Sag, you have to take charge of your own life every single day to make sure you get as much out of each day as possible.

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