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    • Zen & Enlightenment

      An excerpt from Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen by Brad Warner

      The night that bestselling author and Zen teacher Brad Warner learned that his childhood friend Marky had died of cancer at the age of forty-eight, he had just arrived in Hamburg, Germany where he was scheduled to give a talk to a group of Zen students.
      It was the last thing he felt like doing. Instead, Warner was thinking about all of the things he never said to his friend, since topics like spirituality and meditation didn’t exactly fit with the passion for punk rock they had shared since they were young.
      So, as Warner continued his teaching tour through Europe, he began writing out all the things he wished he had said to Marky before he died, and the ultimate result is the new book Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen.
      Simply and humorously, Warner reflects on why Zen provided him a lifeline in a difficult world. We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book.

      Through sheer dumb luck I happened to encounter Zen Buddhism when I was a teenager. I didn’t go looking for it. It was just there at exactly the time I needed it to be.

      I don’t believe in Buddhism either, by the way. It’s not like I heard their fairy tales and figured they were better than anybody else’s stories. The Buddhists have fairy tales too. The difference is that nobody cares if you believe them. They don’t care whether you believe their stories because the very idea of a you who can believe in stories is something they also call into question.

      Even so, I’m not all that interested in Buddhism. I’m much more interested in what is true. What I like about Buddhism is that the Buddhists are also interested in what is true. At least, most of them are.

      I’m not sure if Zen Buddhism would have helped you or not, Marky. I never tried to sell it to you. You knew I was into it, but you never asked.

      I never liked people who tried to sell me their religions. I know you didn’t either, so I wasn’t gonna do that to you. No one ever tried to sell me Zen Buddhism. If they had, I would have regarded them as people who were too insecure to believe in something unless a bunch of other people believed it too. I have no time for that.

      But nowadays I’m a minor spiritual celebrity. I’m not as big as Deepak, but I’m big enough to make a living at it. Which was always a source of embarrassment whenever I interacted with you and still embarrasses me when I’m around friends who, like you, knew me long before I started doing what I do now.

      I see spiritual celebrities as charlatans, as people who make their living selling empty promises that they themselves don’t even believe. I swear that’s not what I do. But I don’t have anything against anyone who assumes the worst about me in that regard. Because that’s probably what I’d assume about me if I wasn’t me.

      Spiritual celebs play the same stupid games as regular celebs. They, or maybe I should say we, validate each other the same way cheap nightclub singers do when they get on TV talk shows.

      It’s like there’s a little Enlightened Beings Club. Here’s how it works. Some guy says he’s got enlightenment. He has a story to back him up about the wonderful day when he finally understood everything about everything. Another guy, his teacher, certified him as a member of the Enlightened Beings Club. And now he’s ready to help you learn to be just like him.

      You go to the enlightened guy, and he trains you to imitate the things he says. Or if he’s real clever he teaches you how to rephrase his schtick in your own words. If your imitation meets his criteria, he gives you his seal of approval, and off you go. The industry is self-perpetuating. It’s in your teacher’s best interests to support your claims of enlightenment since you, in turn, are expected to support his. Without such support, the whole thing falls to pieces.

      If someone comes along and says, “Ain’t no such thang,” it threatens the whole system since it is built on extremely shaky ground. Unless people believe in enlightenment, enlightenment cannot exist. The enlightenment they sell is nothing more than the belief in enlightenment.

      This is the same deal with religions. Believing in God is not like believing in the existence of Mount St. Helens or something tangible like that. The difference is that you can question the existence of Mount St. Helens all you want, but it doesn’t go away. But when someone questions the existence of God, the very existence of God is threatened, because that sort of God is nothing more than the belief in God.

      And here’s what’s even weirder.

      It turns out that enlightenment actually is real.

      God actually does exist.

      I don’t know how you feel about my saying that now that you’re dead, Marky. But I know that when you were alive you would have rolled your eyes at me. And I would not have blamed you.

      There are a lot of things I wish I’d talked to you about. But I didn’t. And so I’m writing you this letter. Maybe I’ll write you a bunch of letters. There’s a lot to say. I don’t know if there’s an afterlife and you can somehow read these letters, or if there’s reincarnation and you’re still a baby and can’t read them, or if you just stay dead after you die, in which case you’ll never even know of their existence. Maybe I’ll write about that in another letter.

      All I know is that whether or not you can receive what I’m saying doesn’t change the fact that there are things I want to say. And so I’m going to say them.

      But I’m going to have to say them later because right now there’s nobody else in the Pizza Pazza and the surly guy behind the counter is giving me a funny look. So I’d better scarf down my cold pizza and go.

      Brad Warner is the author of Letters to a Dead Friend about Zen and numerous other titles including It Came from Beyond Zen, Don’t Be a Jerk, and Hardcore Zen. A Soto Zen teacher, he is also a punk bassist, filmmaker, and popular blogger who leads workshops and retreats around the world. He lives in Los Angeles where he is the founder and lead teacher of the Angel City Zen Center. Visit him online at www.hardcorezen.info.

      Excerpted from the book Letters to a Dead Friend About Zen. Copyright ©2019 by Brad Warner. Printed with permission from New World Library.

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    • Double Vision: Intense Dream of Departed Mother
      dream

      My mother passed away eight years ago. Two years ago I had a dream I was with my husband and friends. We left and I ended up floating alone in flooded waters near the home where I grew up. When I passed my former neighbors, they were dressed in wedding clothes, getting into limousines. From there I floated to my old home and my sister was standing in the kitchen. I commented about my mother not being invited to the wedding, and then all of a sudden I found myself sitting on a floor with my arms wrapped around my knees. I was in a dark room and there was water pouring over me like it was raining. I had my head down when I heard a voice say to me, Joanne, Jesus told me that he took my mother because he loved her. When I looked up, I saw my mother standing there with no clothes on, covered in blood – the water was washing the blood off her body. I tried to wipe the blood from my mother and said, Mom, you’re still bleeding, when she bent down to hug me. I started crying and said, Mom, please don’t leave me, I miss you. When I woke up, I was crying. I often think about this dream and wonder what my mother was trying to tell me. Currently I’m keeping a diary of the dreams that I remember.

       – Joanne

      Astrea:

      Dreaming of lots of blood can be scary, but it doesn’t necessarily symbolize actual blood. If you happened to be pregnant when you dreamed about blood covering your mother, it would be pretty common.

      Blood covering a parent in any dream can mean that you are dreaming about your essence, for the blood of your mom flows through your veins and then down through your children. Many pregnant women dream of being covered in blood or blood covering one or both of their parents. Here the blood represents new life – the life of your child or children.

      Since Jesus was mentioned in your dream, it could mean that your mom has been covered in the blood of the lamb of God. In some Christian beliefs, this is what will happen when we die: Jesus’ blood will cover us and wash away our sins.

      Perhaps this was your mother letting you know that she is just fine with that. When people strongly believe in something, that’s what happens when they cross over.

      I’m a firm believer that we have lots of surprises waiting for us in the afterlife, but also that things will be very familiar, for what we believe when we’re alive will be true for us on the other side too.

      Of course, the most common dream interpretation of water, blood, or any other liquid is the flowing of emotions. As the water washed down upon you, you were crying. (Tears are water). This and all that blood may represent a big emotional healing or release.

      If there is anything you feel guilty about that is related to your mom, this dream was helping you to release it. She came to you to let you know that she is perfectly all right now, that her spirit has been healing and cleansing from all the wounds she experienced this last lifetime.

      That’s a big concept. Think about it a bit at a time, because it won’t go into your harmony right away.

      The reason this dream stays on your mind is because it’s pretty strange and intense. The vivid red of the blood, the feel of the water, the mention of Christ – all of those things would make a lasting impression on anyone.

      I think this was your mom’s way of letting you know that she was perfectly all right. As for why she was naked, who needs clothes in heaven?

      Her love is with you wherever you go. Her blood is your blood, and you are her immortality. Just try to live up to her wonderful view of you. She’s very proud of you, and as odd as it was, she sent this dream to you so that you would know that.

      It’s apparent from what she said to you that she loves you. Treasure your memories of her and this intense, amazing dream encounter.

      *****

      Susyn:

      This dream is very powerful. It contains many messages and marks an important transition in your grieving process for your mother. I often encourage my clients to keep a dream journal, as the more you do, the more you’ll learn to recognize and decipher the messages and other blessings dreams carry.

      A main theme of your dream is water. This is a very powerful icon of cleansing, healing and spiritual transformation. At the beginning of the dream, when you are floating in flooded waters, you are re-experiencing the depth, loneliness and uncontrollable emotions that passed through you when your mother died.

      To watch the neighbors going about their lives as usual, like nothing had happened, represents a common feeling we all have when our lives come crashing down around us and the rest of the world seems to go on as if nothing has happened. How could the neighbors just ignore her and not invite her to the wedding?

      Your sudden transition into a dark room with nothing but water pouring over your head suggests that upon speaking the truth about her passing in your dream, you were taken to an even deeper level of grieving so you could process this immense loss.

      Seeing your mother covered in blood and trying to help her is a direct message from your mother to you. As she leans over to hug you, she is saying she knows you did all you could to help her or to keep her alive, and that everything is all right.

      Her death wasn’t something you had control over, and her words and actions during this segment of the dream are a direct acknowledgment of your devotion to her during her time on earth.

      Keep in mind that it was as difficult for her to leave as it was for you to lose her. She wants you to know that even though neither of you had a choice in the matter, the deep love and spiritual connection between you now is actually stronger than ever before.

      Though you first had this dream two years ago, it will continue to cross your mind because it still holds many messages for you to decipher. Hopefully this information will bring more clarity and understanding and encourage more dreams to appear.

      If you can let go of the pain and move with it as a woman might when giving birth, you’ll begin to receive more dreams and messages from your mom. She’s eager to connect with you in a new way, so you’ll come to see that she never really left you, but watches over you now from beyond.

      You’ll also come to see what a wonderful blessing that is. It’s a powerful reminder that our parents never stop teaching us, whether it’s about life in the physical or life in the hereafter.

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