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Create Your Own Personal Haven—Anywhere, by Caroline Dow

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Stress! It's the scourge of our contemporary society. And the thought of retiring to a safe haven where you can banish stress, repair your nerves, and renew your life is a concept whose time has come. Creating a personal sanctuary, whether it be in a bedroom, bathroom, patio, garden, or the Great Outdoors, seems to be a cherished goal for many of us stressed-out people.

But how to go about fashioning such a retreat? What elements are required, and can you do it in a limited space and on a tight budget? These questions and many others form the contents of my book, A Sanctuary of Your Own. Perhaps you've read books, visited websites, and watched TV programs dedicated to this subject. With wild enthusiasm, you've started designing your space, and you're halfway there. But, somehow things aren't quite gelling. So in this short article, I'll distill some of the information from my book A Sanctuary of Your Own and offer tips that I hope help you complete your project with a minimum of fuss and stress. After all, stress is what we're trying to minimize.

First of all, you need to sit down and take the time to think, in depth, about the main purpose of your private space. Is it for relaxation, renewal, or creativity? A safe haven where you can leave behind the judgmental external world? Or, do you want to combine several intentions in one space?

Do you have the luxury of devoting an entire room to your refuge, or is it, like mine, multi-functional? My sacred space is a home office that doubles as a meditation spot and has tripled as a nursery and, lately, a comfy place for cats to snooze. Perhaps you share a room with someone else or there is not enough space to put together anything permanent. In such cases, you can create a mini, traveling haven in a box to keep in your closet or under the bed to bring out and set up when nobody is around, or even to take to the bathroom.

When I lived in Rio de Janeiro, I had no private space. So I put together a mini-sanctuary, which was more of an altar than anything else, and hid it away in the steamer trunk I'd brought to Brazil. Inside, I kept a pretty altar cloth, candles and candle holders, incense, quick-lighting coals, anda burner. I also had a book on meditation by the famous Ceremonial Magician, Israel Regardie, called The Middle Pillar. I especially like that book because on the back is a diagram of a human body with all the correct colors of the chakras positioned down the front of the torso. I would set it on top of the trunk-altar and use it as a meditation aid.

After identifying the location of your space and its main purpose, you might want to draw upon some of the concepts presented in Feng Shui, the Chinese art of harmonious living. Practitioners of this ancient art believe that adding representations of the elements of nature to one's surroundings helps harmonize and activate the area, in this case, your sanctuary. The Chinese recognize five basic elements, but in Western traditions, with which I am more familiar, we acknowledge four: air, fire, water, and earth.

Representations of the elements to incorporate into your sanctuary surroundings might be as simple as an open window for air, a mobile that moves with the room's air currents, or fragrant incense. For fire, you might want to light a candle or place a low-wattage lamp in the room to lend a cheery glow. A table-top fountain or a dish of water with a flower floating in it as a depiction of the water element is lovely, and it produces a calming sound. If you don't want to spend money on a small fountain, place an object in the room that reminds you of the sea, like a starfish or a small statue of a dolphin cut from a magazine. A favorite gemstone will suffice to symbolize earth (or, failing that, a dish of loam, sand, or even salt). If you don't have enough room, or don't wish to clutter your space with too many physical examples of the elements, find photos, drawings, or paintings that represent them and hang them on the walls. A wind-swept hilltop with clouds racing past could do for air; an erupting volcano or a campfire might symbolize fire; the ocean or a bucolic stream could indicate water; a picture of a cave or a verdant field might represent earth.

After you've integrated symbols of the four elements into your space, next pay attention to how to incorporate something to stimulate your five senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.

You can do a lot with color to enhance your visual experience. Paint the walls or decorate with one predominant color. Choose red for upliftment, orange for comfort, yellow for emotional strength, green for reflection, blue for spiritual awareness, purple for creativity, white for balance, brown for security, gray for contemplation, or black for deep concentration. Don't mix too many colors or the place will soon look like a circus.

You can also choose an object on which to visually focus. Place it in a prominent position, such as on an altar, where you can easily see it to meditate. The object could be a personal symbol or something universal, such as an ankh that stands for life or a star to represent inspiration. You might prefer to select a statue of a deity, or even a photo of a mentor. On my altar, I've set a small tree made of citrine to release depression, fears, and phobias and to encourage self-expression and strengthen my mind. Don't feel you need to keep the same object at your focal point permanently. Switch them out, along with your meditation themes, as your needs and desires change.

As to the sense of hearing, I'm reminded of an MRI technician friend of mine who always offers patients the option to listen to music to calm their nerves while having this noisy and claustrophobic procedure performed. He tells me patients have eclectic tastes: they choose anything from Celtic harp, folk, and classical music to jazz, Latino, musicals, and even hard rock, with Led Zeppelin being a favorite. Personally, I like listening to Gregorian chants. But that's just me! Don't forget the calming effect of a table-top fountain gurgling away in the background. And in the end, there's absolutely nothing wrong with silence to help quiet your mind so you can hear yourself think.

Some people say that burning incense or scented candles calms them and puts them in a spiritual frame of mind because the fragrance reminds them of religious experiences they've had. Others reject such scents for those very reasons or because they suffer from allergies. Still others enjoy festooning their retreats with flowers whose fragrances they enjoy. Then there are those prefer to open a window and let fresh, cleansing breezes waft through the room. Do whatever you like—this is your place, after all.

For the sense of touch, wall coverings like tapestries or prayer rugs can add a touch of texture, as can soft pillows, blankets, and furry rugs. Don't forget to bring something warm and cozy for your feet, such as luxurious house slippers. Many people do this not only for comfort, but also because they don't want to bring into their sacred space street shoes and the worries of daily life they represent. Others prefer to go barefoot so that they can connect with the earth's vibrations underfoot, even if the earth itself is six stories below.

Finally, there's the sense of taste, which is closely allied to the other senses. Colors are reminiscent of taste. If, for example, you paint your space banana yellow, you might be reminded of that fruity taste as well as of its symbolic meaning, which is fertility and male energy. Naturally, you may bring something into your retreat that not only reminds you of the sense of taste, but that you actually eat or drink. I'm reminded of a TV ad currently making the rounds of a close-up of a woman, kicking back and taking a private moment to relax and enjoy the sensuous taste of a chocolate covered caramel.

Other items you may want to take into your sanctuary to stimulate your sense of taste include a vast array of teas, coffees, cocoas, and herbal beverages, hot or iced. Not only will you fuel this sense, you can use the symbolic meaning of the particular beverage to help guide your meditations. Here are a few examples of beverages you might want to prepare and drink, depending on your taste. I've included a few keywords with each that relate to possible meditation themes.

• Black tea: energy, alertness, adaptability, willpower, self-control
• Green tea: harmony, better health, regeneration
• White tea: receptivity, tranquility, relaxation, truth-seeking
• Cocoa: better digestion, love, meditation, Native American traditions, communion with the All-One
• Coffee: sharpening the intellect, memory improvement, self-development

For those not into caffeine in any form, here's a short list of six tasty botanicals that will appeal to almost anyone when consumed as herbal teas. These botanicals are also steeped—if you pardon the pun—in symbolic meaning and are appropriate to contemplate as meditation themes.

• Borage: strengthens resolve
• Chamomile: draws prosperity
• Dandelion leaf: normalizes emotions
• Ginger: enhances intuition
• Peppermint leaf: new beginnings and to see the future
• Rose petals: love, devotion, high aspirations

And to put you in touch with the four elements of nature, add ¼ teaspoon of these dried herbs to a cup of black, green, or white tea: lavender or lemongrass for air, calendula or orange peel for fire, jasmine or hibiscus flowers for water, and nettle leaf or alfalfa grass for earth.

My final tip for creating a successful sanctuary is to above all, have fun designing it, creating it, and filling it with love. This is your private place, and may you enjoy it to the fullest.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

My dreams are often quite complex and perplexing, and I do dream a lot. I sometimes feel I wake more tired than when I went to sleep because I've dreamed so much. I was born and raised in one town, and I moved when I was 24 to where I live now. (I'm now 27.) I find that a lot of my dreams take place where I was born, even if the people in them are from where I am now living. Why do we often return to the same old setting time and again in dreams? Could it be that I just feel safer where I grew up? Is this a common experience for most people? Thanks! - Lisa

Dreamchaser:

You hit the nail on the head and answered your own question, Lisa. There are many people who dream of their childhood home and/or the people who were around while they were growing up.

Sometimes these dreams are positive and warm like yours. You had a wonderful childhood and you long to go back to a time when you felt safe and protected. Others have nightmarish dreams of the past, for not everyone had idyllic early years. Regardless of the quality of their childhood experiences, many people dream of the homes they grew up in.

Children spend much of their time wishing to be grown up. They daydream of being able to drive, get a house, get married, and go out to exciting places at night looking just fabulous. When they do grow up and the realities of adulthood sink in, they then often wish they could go back to being a child.

Your dreams simply reflect your deep longing to go back to a time when you had few worries or fears. You were fed three meals a day without question. You were bandaged up when you were hurt or taken to the doctor when you were sick. You were provided with clothing for every situation. Every one of your needs was fulfilled, and as for your desires, all you had to do was ask.

Life is no longer that way. In fact, you're finding it quite a struggle at times, so your mind goes back to when you could just relax and rest your soul.

I'm here to tell you that you CAN have all you need now, just by asking - you just have to ask a different source. Instead of asking your parents, you should ask the Universe. When you are limited in any way, it is because you are limiting yourself.

The experience you had when you were a child is not lost forever - it can be yours now. You just have to have faith that you can be provided for in the same way in order to manifest that experience.

For the next 30 days, every time you look in a mirror, gaze into your own eyes and say, "You CAN feel just as nurtured and protected as you did long ago." You will start to see this manifest in your experience once you convince yourself that you can have it.

Now I want to address the flip side of this for those of you who wake up in a cold sweat after dreams of your childhood. You can also create the future you want by looking in a mirror and saying, "You are safe and protected. You have nothing to fear. The world is your oyster and your needs are always fulfilled."

I wish you healthy integration of the past, present and future.

*****

Astrea:

Yes, Lisa, we often dream of our happy pasts to comfort ourselves. I have heard from hundreds of people who tell me that they dream about happier times, even though the people who are in their lives now are all mixed up with the past.

Our subconscious will try to take care of us any way it can, and dreaming about places and things that we loved as children is one way. Happy dreams prepare us for the daily grind we face in our waking lives. You are lucky that you can take yourself to a nicer, safer place in your dreams.

Many people have anxious dreams about the past. I often dream that I am back in high school, which was a particularly challenging time for me, and that I haven't finished one class, and until I do, I can't have my diploma!

Some people dream of being naked in a room filled with old friends. Last week, I even had one person tell me that she dreamed she was naked at her upcoming wedding. She's looking forward to this event more than anything she's ever done in her life. Her subconscious did a number on her because it's so important to her and she is thus very nervous about it.

By dreaming of a time when you were happy, safe and content, your subconscious helps you to relax and get re-centered. When you dream about everything being like it was when you were a little kid, you prepare yourself for all the grown-up things you'll have to do the next day.

At the same time, reoccurring dreams often carry messages. It might be fun for you to keep a little notebook or calendar beside your bed and mark down every time you have dreams of your childhood. That way, you can see if they come to you at a particular time of the month, if they come on Sunday nights before you have to be back at work on Monday, or even if they don't have any pattern at all. I believe you'll find that they happen right before or right after you've faced a big adult challenge.

Also, certain people in your life may trigger these dreams. If you keep that calendar going, you may see that the dreams come to you after you've spoken to friends or relatives from that time in your life.

They might also be a REMINDER to call home, talk to your mother, or take care of something that you've been ignoring, such as a dental or health issue. By keeping a record of when they happen to you, you'll discover more about what those dreams mean to you in particular.

I'm glad that your dreams of where you grew up aren't NIGHTMARES, for lots of us have those too!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.