- The Power of Body LanguageContinue reading →
The Power of Body Language, by Richard Webster
(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)
Understanding and using body language gives you a powerful tool that will improve your life in many ways. You can observe the body language of others to determine their moods, motivations, and feelings. You can also use body language to project whatever it is you want others to see. If you feel nervous and insecure, for instance, you can hold your head high and stand straight to convey an image of confidence. Other people will assume you are confident, and because your body is expressing it, you'll feel confident, too.
We all use body language unconsciously. If you meet a friend unexpectedly, you'll know instantly if he or she is happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or irritated. This is easy to do with friends and family, but you also constantly read the body language of strangers. You might notice someone in a shopping mall and know right away that he or she is feeling sad. Have you ever started to approach someone, and then hesitated or moved in another direction? Without a word being spoken, the other person's body language told you that it wasn't a good time to interrupt him or her. It's usually a simple matter to tell if someone is happy, even if he or she isn't smiling. You can probably tell if someone's smile is genuine or forced. You can sometimes tell from the person's body language if he or she is lying, or telling the truth. If you've ever noticed people freeze in terror, tremble with rage, shrug their shoulders, tap their fingers, raise an eyebrow, stiffen their upper lip, flush with embarrassment, or raise their chin, you've observed, and probably interpreted, their body language. Consequently, you, like everyone else, are already good at reading body language.
However, even though you possess these skills, good is not enough. Imagine you're a salesperson, and you're subconsciously sending out a message telling people that you're not approachable. You may have a habitual scowl on your face, and not know that it's turning people away. It's a simple matter to remedy that, and if you did, your sales would immediately increase. As a salesperson, you know that you need to gain rapport with your customers to make a sale. Certain body language techniques, such as mirroring the customer's posture, and listening with your eyes, are good ways to gain rapport.
You might be looking for a partner, or maybe just a date. Your chances of success will improve if you look happy and keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Crossed arms and legs create a barrier, and subliminally tell people you don't want to be approached. Salespeople learn techniques to make people uncross their arms, because they immediately become more open when the barrier has been removed. I find it fascinating that the biggest problem people have when seeking a partner is an inability to recognize the non verbal messages that are being sent to them. They either misunderstand them, or fail to recognize them. Speaking generally, women are better than men at picking up messages of this sort. If you study body language, your chances of getting a date improve enormously.
A few months ago, I met a friend for lunch. I knew she'd been finding it hard to get work, but all the same, I was surprised at how despondent she looked when she came into the restaurant. After ordering her a drink, I asked her how she was getting on.
"It's so hard out there," she told me. "It's almost impossible to get an interview, and even when I do, I can tell right away that they're not interested in employing me."
"Maybe you're sending out the wrong vibes," I said. "I saw you come in from the car park. You looked down in the dumps. What do you do when you get an interview?"
"I'm just me, I guess. I get nervous, and find it hard to give good replies to the questions they ask me."
When I found out she had an interview coming up, I offered to teach her a few body language tips that would make her feel more confident and at ease during the interview.
"Some may seem almost too obvious," I said. "Naturally you should appear happy, smile, and make good eye contact. When people are nervous, they find it hard to appear positive. You also need to start doing this before you even enter the building. You have no idea who may be watching you arrive. Stand tall, keep your head up, and walk with a sense of purpose. If you do that, you'll feel more confident, and that will carry on throughout the interview."
"That wouldn't fool anyone," she said.
I laughed. "Funnily enough, it will fool you. When you start acting in a confident manner, you'll feel confident, which means you'll be confident. When you're confident, you'll be able to sell yourself well at the interview."
We discussed a number of other ideas she could use to help sell herself at the interview. As it turned out, she didn't get that particular job, but she was excited when she spoke to me about it.
"I felt so different in the interview," she told me. "I kept both feet on the floor, sat upright in my chair, and kept my hands in my lap. I felt relaxed. I even asked questions, something I've always found hard to do in that sort of situation."
She also observed the body language of the person interviewing her. "I noticed his hand gestures, and how he nodded his head slowly when he wanted me to keep talking. He leaned forward and smiled frequently. I know why he did all those things now. It's funny—I never noticed things like that before."
It took her two more interviews before she was offered a position, and by that time she'd lost her fear of interviews. She's now observing her own, and other people's, body language everywhere she goes.
Knowledge of body language is useful in every area of life. Bodies really do speak louder than words. Once you've learned the basics, you can use your knowledge of body language to charm, captivate, and influence others. Other people will find you more approachable, and your dealings with others will be smoother and more successful than ever before. You'll feel in control in any type of situation.
Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2014. All rights reserved.
- Double Vision: TelekinesisContinue reading →
Is it possible for anyone to develop psychic abilities like telekinesis? (To learn how to move objects with one's mind, like bending spoons, etc.?) Or are some people just born with that innate ability? If anyone can learn to do it, what would be the best way to go about doing so?
- Jonathan
Dreamchaser:
Jonathan, I believe we can teach our minds anything. We only use a small portion of our brains, after all, and there is SO much that is left untapped.
There have been many studies done on telekinesis. I believe it just requires a higher state of consciousness. To reach this state of consciousness, the first step is probably deep meditation. So if you really want to learn, I suggest you meditate for 15 to 30 minutes and get very centered. Then take the next 30 minutes to try to move something very small. Picture yourself building a tunnel of sorts between your mind and the object you want to move. Focus solely on the object.
Anything outside of this tunnel will not be visible to you. Imagine something coming out of your head, like hands or a rake or whatever you want to use. Then imagine those hands or rake or whatever pulling the object you are trying to move towards you. It will probably take you at least two to three weeks to actually move something for the first time, so do not give up.
Also, remember this is not a life and death matter, or something really serious. This is very much like playing a game with yourself. If you try too hard, you will get frustrated, and we don't want that! Also, do not give up. Continue to try even when you don't see results. Do NOT think when it does not happen immediately that you cannot do it. You have to have an "I can do it" attitude.
As far as spoon bending, I have heard that you must hold the spoon in your hands and meditate on it. Rub the spoon lightly with your fingers, trying to become part of the spoon. Imagine the spoon's atoms mixing with the atoms in your fingers so that you can't tell the difference between your fingers and the spoon. You may feel the spoon actually heat up in your hands. That is normal. Once you get to that point, then you can imagine the spoon melting like it is liquid. At that point, it should be bending.
The most important thing I am hearing for you is a question: WHY do you want to learn this? Are you going to be responsible with your newfound ability, or are you going to use it at parties to impress people, or to earn money in a carnival-like setting? You have to understand that when you are dealing with extraordinary abilities like this, you have an obligation to be extraordinarily moral and honest. If you use a gift or a learned ability for anything other than good, love and light, you will face harsh consequences either in this life or the next.
I wish you success with your goal!
*****
Astrea:
Probably the most famous story of telekinesis from our own times can be found in the Stephen King book Carrie. In that novel, a high school girl who is bullied by her classmates loses control over her very scary telekinetic power, and kills most of the people at the prom. While it's an exciting story, that's all it is - a STORY. Human beings are no longer designed to have the kind of energy it takes to move things with nothing more than mind power.
From time to time, some people DO get bursts of energy that SEEM TO move inanimate objects. The ability to CONTROL telekinesis is something that has been studied for a long time in some of the bigger parapsychology institutes, but with very little success. For the last century, all over the world various studies have tried to pin down what happens in our personal electrical fields to cause things to move "on their own." To my knowledge, no one has been able to prove this power really exists, much less master it.
Some people have an energy field that stops watches, so that they can't wear them, or runs the battery down in their car, so they constantly have to buy new ones. This condition is something innate - it isn't something that can be learned. These people are either born with this condition or it develops spontaneously, often as a result of a near death experience. I don't think I've ever encountered anyone who was able to develop this ability on their own or with the help of experts. This is either something that human beings no longer have in our repertoire, or never had in the first place.
In the days of Atlantis, before recorded time, it's said that people were able to move mountains with the power of their minds. I've never known anyone who could consciously do something like that, however.
If you want to be able to present the ILLUSION that you can move something or change something with the power of your mind, take a course in stage magic. You can learn to fool people into believing that you're doing amazing things in a very short time. Visit your local magic shop or find a good book by one of the great illusionists who did this for a living. I believe Yuri Geller has several books that may be out of print, so look in your library under "Magicians" or "Stage Magic" for that information.
Yuri is the guy who bends spoons "with his mind" on talk shows. Magicians and Illusionists have been doing things like that for thousands of years, which might be where you got the idea it could really be done by plain old human beings.