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5 Stress Management Tips for Relaxing Your Whole Being with Yoga, by Robert Butera, PhD

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Stress and anxiety affect us on all levels. Be it the body's pounding heart, the rapid pace of breath, overwhelming feelings, racing thoughts, or a disconnection from our deeper beliefs, stress weaves its way into all levels of our experience. Yoga Therapy teaches us to understand how to address our stress on all layers of being.

Ancient yogis perceived a person as being comprised of five layers (koshas): 1) body, 2) life energy/breath, 3) mind (feelings and lower thoughts), 4) intellect (wisdom and discernment), and 5) spirit/higher self. Each of these five layers exists within the next, moving from the obvious to the subtle, and each one gives us tools for coping with stress and anxiety. By working with stress through your entire being, you become more resilient against anxiety and better able to connect to confidence and peace of mind.

The following five tips give you practical tools to address the impacts of stress on each layer of your being. Note that the obvious layers of body and breath/life energy can bring immediate relief while the more subtle levels, such as mind, intellect, and spirit, offer greater impact in reducing chronic stress and anxiety.

Yoga Tip #1: Get in Your Body
It's easy to observe stress in the body: muscular tension, achiness, or a quick heartbeat. Yoga postures are a simple, immediate means of coming back to the body and rediscovering a sense of capability. You don't need any yoga experience to make this happen, just a commitment to being in your body and appreciating the sense of strength you find there. That said, if you wish to follow a yoga sequence, try the simple movements described below.

Begin by widening your feet about double-shoulder-width apart, up to about a meter (yard). Your toes can face straight ahead or out on a 45 degree angle. As you bend your knees, doing your best to keep them over the ankles, raise your arms overhead. Feel a tubular strength around the abdominal girdle, as if your muscles were a corset hugging gently towards your spine. Feel this strength connect down through the front, back, and inner parts of your legs, all the way through your feet.

Straighten your legs by pushing your body up and away from the earth, feeling rooted and supported. Bring your hands to your hips and bend lightly to one side. Inhale to center and exhale to the other side. If you wish, you may repeat this action a few times, being sure to keep the hips secure.

Once you have returned to the center, stretch each arm out to its own side, in line with the shoulders. You might imagine that you are a 5-pointed star, with each hand, foot, and your head creating the five points. Look over your right hand and exhale long and slow as you revolve your torso to the right. Return to center and do the same thing to the left. You may repeat this twisting action a few times before returning to center and bringing your feet hip-width apart.

Inhale your arms overhead, raising the chest and pushing the chin forward and up. Exhale to reach out of the hips and fold forward, dangling the head from the neck. Inhale and roll or, if you have never had back issues, sweep up to the overhead reach again. You may repeat this backward to forward bending action a few times before returning to center.

After completing this simple sequence of yoga postures, notice the effect on your body. Are your muscles more relaxed? Was there a change in your heart beat? What about your sense of heat and cool, peace and busyness, tension and relaxation? The physical changes may be obvious or subtle, but they are there. Trust that these yoga movements have begun to assuage your stress and anxiety.

Yoga Tool #2: Watch Your Breath…Now!
Our first layer of being, the body, holds within it the life energy or breath (prana). Anytime you become aware of your breath you connect to the present moment. It is relaxing to focus on the now rather than lament the past or fret about the future. If you have the time to sit and breathe quietly, it is likely that you are currently safe and stress-free (even though your mind could come up with things to worry about). Because slow, conscious breathing is grounding and calming, it is the most commonly-used technique in crisis counselling.

There are many possible instructions for breathing practice; however, for this article we will give you a simple one: notice your breath right now, and then allow it to slow and deepen.

From a yoga perspective, the life energy/breath layer is between the layer of the body and the layer of the mind, thereby serving as a bridge between the two. A deep, steady pace of breath is relaxing to the body and balances the mind by holding it in the now, where all is well.

Yoga Tool #3: Let Your Emotions Guide You
Within the life energy/breath layer, and even more subtle, is the mind—our sensory perceptions, emotions, and busy thoughts. When the mind is in pain, we often try to get away from uncomfortable feelings by suppressing them. Pushing our feelings down actually leads to more stress. As the avoidance pattern builds, years of unresolved emotions get stored within us and await their chance to come out. Each time a stressor arises the stored pain resurfaces, trying to express itself and release. Your stress levels may not just be about the present moment, but all the other suppressed emotional experiences as well! By listening to your emotions on a daily basis, you can get a better handle on the roots of your stress.

Take a little time every day to tune into the information your emotions present, without getting wrapped up in the suffering or what you can do to feel better. Even if only for a moment, notice that your emotions are guiding you. All you have to do is tune in.

Yoga Tip #4: Tell a Different Story
The layer of the intellect is more subtle than the mind. "Intellect" is more than just intelligence; it is the voice of wisdom that says, "I may be stressed right now but this too shall pass." The intellect holds our underlying beliefs and exists in the realm of ideas—the story we tell ourselves. It helps you relate to the spirit/higher self and discerns what will bring us closer to that authentic being.

When a situation has you stressed, pause and notice the story you are telling. Are you making up outcomes that haven't happened yet? If so, are they the outcomes you want or those you wish to avoid? What are your assumptions? Are you projecting past experiences onto this stress?

Now tell a different story. You may make up the best outcome possible and focus on that. Better yet, focus on what you can do right now to create that best-case outcome. If there is nothing you can do, then focusing on stress does not make it better. Let your intellect discern where to set your focus and choose the path that brings you closest to your higher self.

Yoga Tip #5: Remember You Are a Spiritual Being
Yoga does not define your spirituality for you. You decide what "spiritual" means. In this article we are talking about your spirit as the you-that-you-are: your authentic, or higher, self. There are many ways to define and experience this and we encourage you to choose the one that works best. The layer of the higher self is very still and quiet. In fact, it is so subtle that when we feel stressed, not only is it difficult to connect with, we may forget it is even there! Try the following technique to solidify memories of your spiritual self.

Think of a time when you felt completely at peace and totally free to be yourself. Remember where you were, how things looked, what sounds were around you, and any other details. Notice how calm and content you felt in that moment. You may even remember the rhythm of your breath or upliftedness of your thoughts. This is a memory of connection to your spirit/higher self.

When our bodies are tense, breath erratic, and minds racing so we can't hear our inner wisdom, it is challenging to connect to the layer of the higher self (although it is always there). The higher self, once the mind is quiet enough to sense it, can guide all of our everyday moments and color all of our activities and interactions with peacefulness and inspiration. When we unite the layers of ourselves, the spirit/higher self shines through all of them.

Yoga philosophy describes five layers of human beings: body, life energy/breath, mind/feelings, intellect, and spirit/higher self. As you work with yourself on these layers, remember that you are a whole person, not five separate pieces. Each layer wraps around the next and stress affects each one. When you apply these tips to remove stress, you are perceiving both obvious and subtle aspects of yourself. By working with the subtle layers, your own deep sense of meaning seeps into everyday moments, making them less stressful as you enjoy the goodness of life as it is now!

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2015. All rights reserved.

I'm writing to see if you have any advice on how to deal with the frustrations of knowing the future, but not being able to get others to listen to you. I'm a professional psychic myself, and while my friends and clients all value my advice, my family just won't listen to me. While they admit that I am very accurate at predicting what will happen and what's really going on beneath the surface, in the moment, they just push forward into one painful experience after another. I know that they have their lessons to learn and their ego issues, and that I can't keep them from these learning experiences. What I'm wondering is how I can deal with the frustration of this personally. How do I sit back and bite my tongue and not say, "I told you so" when this happens over and over again? What do you do? Thanks so much!

- Angela

Dreamchaser:

Angela, your question had me chuckling, for I am a mother as well. I think all of us who use our gift in a professional capacity ask ourselves the same question. We all marvel about how many people pay us good money for our psychic advice, while the friends and family who get it for free just won't listen. The phrase "in one ear and out the other" comes to mind; it was probably invented by someone's mother.

You have to understand that to everyone in your family, you are just Mom. You are the woman who picks up the dirty clothes on the floor and then washes them. You are the woman who can make a sandwich with one hand and feed a baby that you are balancing on your hip with the other hand. You make the food, keep the house running, nag kids about doing homework or going to bed, kiss "boo-boos," nurse the sick, and barely have time to shower and change out of your flannel pajamas.

Let's face it, Angela: we do not look very "psychic" in our everyday lives. When you speak to your family members about their lives and what is going to happen, they don't hear the psychic/ knowing side of you. All they see is the "just Mom" persona they have always known so well.

You say you understand their need to live their own lives and learn their own lessons. That includes making bad decisions. Part of living is making our own choices and then learning right from wrong. Sometimes to learn about ourselves, our lives and our individual paths, we have to go through certain experiences. If someone ALWAYS has the right answer for us, it's sort of like cheating at the game of life.

I do a whole lot of sighing in my house, especially with my daughter, who never listens to me. I just exhale and try not to say anything to her. Then I sit back and relive my youth in my head. I can't point fingers at her for not listening to me when I still fail to listen to my OWN gut sometimes. The apple doesn't fall from the tree, so I have to allow her to make her own decisions, just like I was allowed to make MY own.

All you can do is what every other Mom does when her kids fall down. You dust them off, kiss their "boo-boos," bandage them up and send them on their way. As they grow, the "bandages" start becoming words to soothe a broken heart or troubled soul. You can use your psychic ability in that capacity. You are very good at calming others and helping them find healing, because you "just know" what to say.

I wish you acceptance of all that "family" can and will be.

*****

Astrea:

Oh, Angela! While psychic, you haven't grasped the basic concept that NO ONE listens to unsolicited advice. Trying to tell your close friends and family what is going to happen to them is a futile exercise. Sometimes it's like sitting on a mountain, watching train and car wrecks erupt all over the place below you. You're just going to have to get used to that or go crazy. People close to you aren't going to take your predictions seriously, no matter how often you are proven accurate.

Usually I can keep my big mouth shut and say, "I'm sorry, I'm too close to you to read for you, and what I get would be colored with my own feelings and opinions. I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH to read for you." Flattery sometimes gets people off your tail. It's worth a try, anyway!

I wish I could find a way to remain silent myself. Just recently I tried to tell a family member something that I had "heard" from beyond the veil, and was told I was NUTS! This person had badgered me for weeks for the information I gave her, and went I finally gave in and told her (against my better psychic judgment, I might add), it made her very angry. Now I'm not allowed to visit her home! As many times as this has happened to me, I was STILL flabbergasted that she would take what she INSISTED on knowing the way that she did. Silly me! Being psychic, I should have known better!

That's the most frustrating situation we psychics get into. People in our families ask and ask. Then if we deliver and they don't LIKE what they hear, they take it out on US! Because they don't want to believe it's true, they decide it's our personal opinion instead of trusting that we are tapping the same source of divine guidance for them as we do for strangers. There isn't any way to ALTER what we see and hear in the psychic realm - it comes as it comes. Family and friends are too fragile, and those relationships are too important. We can't win in that situation, even if the news is good!

Another factor here is the "no pay, no value" deal. People will value something based on what they have to pay or give for it. So if you give them advice for free, they will tend to disregard it.

Please join me in my New Year's resolution to NOT to read for anyone I'm personally close to. Let's refer those people to someone qualified, gifted and EXPENSIVE! That way, they can come to us for confirmation only, and feel they got their money's worth.

By keeping our mouths shut, we can keep the peace with family and friends!