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Chiron's Dual Nature, by Martin Lass

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

My journey with Chiron began in 1992 when, while browsing the shelves of the Theosophical Society bookstore in Sydney, Australia, the ultimate cliché happened: a book fell off the shelves and landed at my feet. I looked around, half expecting Shirley MacLaine to come around the corner! Not seeing her, I picked up the book and looked at the title—Chiron and the Healing Journey, by Melanie Reinhart. Not interested in asteroids at the time, I simply put the book back and went on my merry way. Little did I know at the time that this event would be the first in a series of synchronicities marking Chiron's forceful entry into my life.

Having studied astrology since the age of twelve and having practiced professionally for many years, I felt as though there was still something missing—a key that would unlock the astrology chart and bring together what seemed at the time to be a whole lot of disconnected pieces. Interestingly, I felt that my life at the time was also a collection of such pieces—disconnected, disjointed, unrelated and misshapen.

In the midst of this inner and outer turmoil, I remember calling out to whoever might have been listening in the greater cosmos: Why was my life so fragmented? Why did I feel so alone? Why did I feel like an outsider, like an alien on an alien planet? Why did I feel as though there was something missing, something that seemed just out of my grasp, something that might otherwise bring together the scattered pieces of my life?

A few weeks later, a psychic friend of mine called me out of the blue, saying that she had some messages for me from her spiritual guides. She wouldn't tell me the messages on the phone, so we arranged to meet later in the week.

In the intervening days, I had a powerful dream. In the dream, a woman was dying in my arms. It may have been my wife, my mother, my daughter or a lover—it didn't matter, except that it was female. In the midst of my anguish, she died. Nearly overcome with emotional pain, I dove down toward the pain, into the darkness of my psyche. As I approached the source of the pain, it became almost too much to bear. At that moment, though, the woman came alive again, and my pain was transformed into pure love. With my chest almost bursting with this love, I awoke, tears streaming down my face. In hindsight, I recognized that a great healing had taken place. I had recovered my disowned feminine side.

A few days later, my psychic friend came to visit. Among other things, she told me that I needed to know about Chiron and to work with its energies. She said Chiron was the "wounded healer," and that it was all about recovering and healing the lost pieces of our lives—our disowned and unloved parts.

As she spoke about Chiron, I felt some of the pieces of my life come together: the bookstore cliché, my quest for the missing key to unifying astrology charts, the feeling of being an outsider, the disconnectedness of my life and, of course, my recent dream. An underlying connection and pattern began to emerge, and, somewhere in the recesses of my mind, I felt a door open, a door to a new yet somehow ancient and more direct understanding of the living world. Although I did not know where this would lead me, I knew at that moment, without knowing exactly why, that I had found the key I had been searching for.

The upshot of it all was that, for the first time, I looked at where Chiron sat in my own natal chart—its sign, house, aspects, travel, and current transits. I was floored, to say the least! It answered many questions about the way I felt about myself and about my life—particularly in relation to feeling unloved and in relation to the way in which I expressed my woundedness.

In the ensuing months, I would also see that placing Chiron into the astrological picture would answer the many questions I had concerning how to unify the otherwise disconnected pieces of the astrology chart. What were previously collections of clinical, dry, disconnected planetary influences were transformed into living, breathing, dynamic pictures of people's lives.

Perhaps the most striking feature of this series of synchronicities, though, lay in my Chiron transits. At the time of the aforementioned meeting, a conjunction of Chiron and Mercury was transiting my natal Sun-Uranus conjunction and I was fast approaching my Chiron half-Return. Moreover, shortly after this meeting, I experienced a spontaneous and cathartic past-life memory of the loss of a loved one. When I later examined the transits, I found that transiting Chiron was exactly conjunct my natal Uranus, and transiting Venus was exactly conjunct my natal Sun. I needed no more convincing! In the ensuing years, it became apparent that Chiron had chosen me to be an emissary, a spokesman for its healing messages.

The journey of the last decade and more has been an enlightening one, with Chiron as my primary planetary guide. It has been a journey of delving deeply into my own wounds and issues, as mirrored by Chiron in my natal chart. This is only half the story, though. The other half has been the miraculous journey of healing—not only for me, but also for the many people close to me, as well as for the many clients with whom I have worked. True to its astrological glyph, Chiron was (and is) certainly the key.

As wondrous as those early years were, I did not suspect at the time how vast a picture Chiron would eventually paint. Nor did I realize how relevant (and obvious, in retrospect!) it was that Chiron was discovered exactly when it was.

In short, Chiron's discovery augurs a new paradigm, a new way of looking at ourselves and at the world around us. It augurs a revolution in consciousness and consciousness's connection to health and disease and function and dysfunction—a revolution the likes of which the world has not known in over two thousand years.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2005. All rights reserved.

Is it possible that we feel pulled toward some people because they have a higher spiritual vibration, but we mistake those feelings for falling in love with that person? I'm in a predicament, for I feel like I've fallen deeply in love with a man who is highly religious and spiritual. He's an extremely sucessful businessman, and he's a very loving husband and father. He also does a lot for the poor and needy. He really seems to be the perfect man. It's hard not to love him or think I love him. Could you please shed some light on this?

K.

Susyn:

This situation happens more frequently than you might imagine. Often when we come into contact with someone with a strong spiritual vibration, it's almost impossible not to form feelings for them.

The man you describe seems to have all the qualities of a wonderful soul mate. He has had such a profound effect on you mainly because he is so different from most of the men you come across. He has touched your spirit in a way that has opened your heart wider than ever before.

Karmically, if this man were meant to be your partner in this lifetime, you would not be blocked due to pre-existing commitments. While some relationships do begin with these types of challenges, it does not appear from your letter that he returns your feelings. In fact, because of his strong character and charisma, he probably has many female admirers.

It is possible that you knew this man in a past life, which could explain your strong attraction to him. In this lifetime, you may not be destined to be together, but the memories of that past life are imprinted on your soul and could be contributing to the sense that you are falling in love with him.

The most important thing you can do in this situation is hold your power and energy and allow the connection with him to unfold as directed by Spirit. Trying to force something to happen will short-circuit whatever is meant to be. He may have come into your life for the purpose of being a spiritual teacher or example for you. Attempting to turn this into something else could mean the loss of your connection and his friendship.

Keeping boundaries around your feelings may prove difficult. Be careful not to neglect yourself, your own responsibilities, or your spiritual growth out of a desire to spend time with him or endlessly fantasize about him. I recommend you find something you can focus on in your own life that you feel just as passionate about.

When your true love appears, he will most likely share many of the qualities you admire in this man. The difference is that he will be available and interested in forming a loving partnership with you.

*****

Mata:

This sort of thing happens to spiritual seekers all the time because we don't have the same spiritual outlets we did in times past. In many ways, the quest for a soul mate has taken the place of the quest for God or enlightenment.

We all have a deep and innate hunger for the Divine. No matter how much material success we acquire or even how much love we cultivate in our lives, it is human nature to long for that unnameable something we occasionally catch glimpses of in what we call spiritual experiences.

It is also very common to project all sorts of qualities onto people who make us feel as we long to feel. This is the basic dynamic behind transference in the therapist/client relationship. By interacting with people who represent deeper issues for us, we are able to bring what is happening on a subconscious level up where we can work with it.

When we feel drawn toward someone as you describe, it's often because they embody qualities we want to develop more in ourselves. Feelings of admiration are signs from our higher selves, telling us where to go next. In the situation you describe, the person you believe you're in love with is just a stand-in for the sort of person you hope to become in the future.

When I am working as a spiritual healer or teacher, I often see that look of love and admiration on the faces of seekers who are coming up behind me on the path. Both men and women have confessed that they felt like they were falling in love with me. Usually, this was not in a sexual way but in the sense that they felt as strongly drawn toward me as one does to a new lover. When this happens, I always point out that it is not me they are in love with; it is the light of the divine shining through me that makes them turn toward me like a flower turns toward the sun.

So though this man sounds like a wonderful person, it is what he represents for you and how he makes you feel that has captured your heart and soul. I don't feel that you are being called to be in a romantic relationship with him; instead, you are being called to be more LIKE him. Your higher self is using your feelings for him as a road marker that says, Become more like this to find the peace and divine bliss you crave.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.