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Letting Go of Story

An excerpt from Peter Russell’s
Letting Go of Nothing: Relax Your Mind and Discover the Wonder of Your True Nature

The other side of letting go of emotions is letting go of the story behind them. Again, the first step is to let the story in, to become conscious of what we’re telling ourself. This is not always as easy as it sounds. We often assume that our view of events is the truth rather than our interpretation of them.

A good starting point is to pause and explore whether what you believe to be true really is so. Open to the possibility that it may be just a set of assumptions you have made. See if you can step back, question your interpretations, and be open to seeing alternatives.

If you are angry, for example, you might ask, What am I telling myself that makes this person wrong? How, in my opinion, should they have behaved? How do I judge them for having acted that way?

I also find it helpful to ask whether I would accuse myself of this. How often, when someone is angry with us, do we feel their anger is unjustified? If only they understood us better and why we behaved as we did, they wouldn’t be so angry.

So try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes, and consider what might have led them to behave this way. How might they have been seeing you? Did they have other things on their mind? What in their past might have led them to this?

The more we can inhabit another person’s point of view, the more we can understand their behavior. If we understood them completely, we’d realize they were behaving exactly as they “should” have — given their situation and everything that came before. Our belief that they should not have behaved this way is another part of our story.

Holding on to our stories only serves to create more suffering and discontent. I was recently visiting a neighbor when a friend came by. Almost the first words out of the friend’s mouth were, “I still can’t forgive him for what he did.” She was clearly still aggrieved and upset, even though the event in question had happened six months earlier. She was holding on to a story about what had happened, and that story still triggered bad feelings — which only reinforced her story. My neighbor simply said to her, “Oh, I’m sorry for you,” meaning I’m sorry you’re still not over it, “that can’t be nice.”

When we continue holding on to a grievance long after the event, the only person we hurt is ourself. As the Buddha is purported to have said, holding a grievance is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.

If you find yourself doing this, the first step in letting go is to become aware of the suffering you’re creating for yourself. If you pick up a hot coal, you will let go of it as soon as you feel the pain. Similarly, with holding on to some judgment or grievance, the more you can become aware of the price you pay for holding on — the emotional pain, tension, disturbing thoughts — the more motivated you will be to dig deeper, to see what is going on inside and how you might let go.

Emotions often have more to do with our past than our present. A friend not giving us the attention we feel is our due or criticizing our appearance can touch on painful experiences from earlier in life and trigger reactions out of all proportion to present circumstances. Maybe we felt ignored as a child or had parents who were overly concerned about how we appeared in public. Our automatic reaction might be to storm off in a huff or to retaliate with a criticism of our own. Alternatively, we may act out with something apparently unrelated, such as swearing at the dog or indulging in comfort food.

When you notice unwarranted reactions like these, pause, take a breath, and notice what you’re feeling — at this stage, not the story so much as what is going on in your body. Notice where it is tight, feel any unease or discomfort, and observe any impulse to act out. If you can allow these feelings to be there as they are, you may find they begin to soften and not dominate so much.

Then, when they have subsided a little, look at any story you may be telling yourself. Maybe there’s some truth to it, but how much have you added? Have any events in your past led you to respond this way? Maybe there are issues you need to explore in order to find some resolution or healing.

Perhaps some childhood trauma lies behind your reaction. The more you understand what is going on, the less likely old wounds will trigger you in the future.

Emotions are impulses to “move out” in some way; they want some form of expression. So with a strong emotion such as anger or rage, it can be helpful to let it out. But rather than venting on a fellow human being, you might take it out on a pillow or a punching bag. Or, a less violent option, you might express to others what you’re thinking and feeling, in a safe context — talking to a good friend or a therapist, perhaps — allowing the thoughts and feelings to be there without embarrassment or fear of judgment.

Even then, we might hold something back, fearing others might judge us. Or possibly because we wish to keep part of our life private. In such cases, writing to ourselves about what we are feeling can be a good way to vent our emotions. Simply write down whatever comes (four-letter words and all), without any judgment. Let it all in. Afterward you can tear it up or even burn it if you wish. It’s expressing it to yourself that is important.

Peter Russell, author of Letting Go of Nothing and From Science to God, earned degrees in theoretical physics, psychology, and computer science at the University of Cambridge in England, where he studied for a time with Stephen Hawking. He studied meditation and Eastern philosophy in India and later conducted research into the neurophysiology of meditation. He coined the term global brain with his 1980s bestseller of the same name (100,000 copies sold), in which he predicted the internet and the impact it would have on humanity. He lives in Northern California. Connect with Peter at www.PeterRussell.com.

Excerpted from the book Letting Go of Nothing. Copyright © 2021 by Peter Russell. Reprinted with permission from New World Library.

I have a rather unusual situation I'm hoping you can explain. A few months ago I began to meditate, and I've had a number of psychic experiences since then. I'm also able to remember my dreams far better now, and they've been very detailed and vivid. I am dreaming of all sorts of interesting people and places. What's strange is my wife says I've been talking in my sleep - IN A FOREIGN LANGUAGE! She isn't sure because I'm mumbling, but she thinks it sounds like something African or Native American. What do you think is happening, and is there any cause for concern?

- Tom

Dreamchaser:

One of the main reasons for meditating is to get in touch with our higher selves, God, Spirit - whatever you want to call it. As we start to get the hang of it, we may find ourselves going someplace else during meditation.

I often wonder where I was when I come out of a deep meditation, for it's like I just go blank - I don't remember a thing. As you deepen your connection to Spirit through meditation, you will find yourself experiencing all sorts of higher knowledge.

What is really going on here is you are opening up to the rest of the Universe. There is SO much more to life than ordinary experiences, and so much more going on around us than most of us can see. You are starting to tap into that energy and experience some of those things.

As I explain whenever I explore dreams in this column, when we sleep, our souls leave our bodies and go to where they need to go to fix today, prepare for tomorrow, heal issues, etc. As you are in the Other world in your sleep, your soul is very much active and alive, and you are having real experiences.

You are re-living past lives, you are living in other times and places, and experiencing all sorts of things. The fact that you are talking in another language is not at all surprising; you are just in a place or dimension where you know that language.

Please remember that dreams are not fantasies: They are actual experiences that our souls are having while our conscious minds are shut down. You are not just dreaming that you are speaking in some unknown language - you actually ARE speaking in that language. Your soul is actually involved in all sorts of activities while in the other world.

As you build your connection to the other side and your higher self, your dreams will continue to become even more vivid and realistic. Your human mind is starting to open up more and more, and as a result, you are able to remember your experiences in other dimensions better. Your psychic experiences are evidence of this.

As your soul moves more front and center in your waking hours, you will find yourself doing or saying things, and you will wonder how you knew those things. You may never be sure if this arises from past life memories or just stored soul knowledge.

Don't let it freak you out. Enjoy it! It's awesome to discover that you know how to do something that you have no conscious memory of ever learning - know what I mean?

You have nothing to be concerned or alarmed about here. Why did you start meditating in the first place? You need to trust that whatever you call God has your back!

I wish you all sorts of bliss-full spiritual experiences.

*****

Astrea:

Actually, this is one time when I KNOW the answer. You clued me in when you said since you began to meditate, you've had several psychic experiences. These have led you to memories of a past life - in exciting Atlantis!

Often Andaluvians have a very difficult time accepting the truth about their past life history. It's a big deal, so people who begin to have memories like that are deeply affected by the whole experience.

However, if you can just let it come through you, it could improve your life like you can't imagine! The people I know who have found a way in their waking life to consciously accept their dream experiences of Atlantis have all gone on to personal success, prosperity, and in some cases even fame.

The language you're speaking is the mathematical language of that time. This is because you were a scientist and mathematician. You also taught as a professor in the School of Physics there.

You didn't say what you do for a living in this life, but it would be interesting to know if it connects to the paths you chose in past lives, which I feel usually centered on whatever cutting edge technology happened to be springing up at that point in history. I'm sure you've never had a problem using a computer or understanding the technical aspects of any project.

Andaluvians often seek out one another in subsequent incarnations, so it might be of interest to you, your wife and other family members to find out when and where you were together before.

If you have any children in this life who were with you in Atlantis, I'd bet they are Indigo or Crystal children. These special souls are destined to bring the world back to the peace, health and longevity that prevailed at the time of Atlantis.

Wouldn't it be great to know whatever you knew back then so you could apply that wisdom to your waking life? You could help many people and connect with your loved ones and other kindred spirits in some very deep ways.

Whether you can process this or not right now, you certainly WILL process it eventually. That will stop the mumbling in your sleep, and you will enjoy a waking clarity that few people experience here on Earth.

When it's time for you to depart this life, your incarnation in Atlantis will come flooding back to you, and you'll remember everything - including the language you've been speaking, along with all the languages you've spoken in other lives as well.

You should know that you have a duty to create peace in others while you're here, so do what you can to spread peace to everyone you meet. It should be pretty easy for you, and the rewards will be greater than you can imagine.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.