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July 5 through July 11, 2021

Our best bet for getting anything productive will be under Monday's Taurus Moon, as the rest of the week unfolds under a veil of emotional confusion and the tendency to go hide in our Cancer shells. We'll need to watch for gossip or misinformation on Tuesday and Wednesday as the Gemini Moon inspires people to share without the facts or make comments that could be taken the wrong way. Our best bet during this phase is to watch and listen, rather than advising or sharing our opinions. The Moon will dive into emotional Cancer on Thursday, culminating in a Cancer new Moon on Friday. If you feel the urge to hide out under the covers or draw the drapes and take the phone off the hook, it's not a bad idea, as feelings are easily hurt and self-doubt or confusion can make it difficult to interact with the rest of the world. On an up note, this time of isolation will give us a chance to go deep within and revisit our spiritual centers, clearing out whatever messages or ideas aren't working while encouraging us to trust our intuition more readily. Sunday's Leo Moon will have us feeling more like ourselves, ready to face the world again, and thanks to Mercury's entry into Cancer, encouraging us to share from the heart and soul.

The Psychology of Ghost Hunting, by Brandon Alvis

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Death is an inevitable part of life. Reminders of our own mortality surround us everyday. Any time we read a newspaper, turn on the news, or consume media, we are shown heartbreaking stories of a tragic loss of life. As the old saying goes, "If it bleeds, it leads." At some point throughout our lifetime, we will experience the loss of a loved one, a friend, an acquaintance. With each passing, we are faced with a question: What happens when we die? I was first faced with that question on September 8th, 1995, when my oldest brother Eric passed away from cancer at the age of 24.

Learning About Death
I was only eight years old at the time of my brother's passing. The concept of death was a lot for a third grader to take in, let alone understand.

It confused me.

Much of my childhood was spent at the cemetery where my brother was laid to rest. The more time I spent surrounded by tombstones, the more I started to comprehend what death was and how we would all meet the same end. As my mother would visit my brother and grieve, I did what any eight-year-old kid would do: explore. I'd walk around the cemetery. I'd read the grave markers, the names, the dates of birth and death. I'd speak with the groundskeepers and ask them questions about their job. What was it like working in the death industry? I watched as they would prepare the ground for upcoming burials, the funerals taking place close to my brother's gravesite. I would listen to the eulogies and observe how others handled grief. This is macabre, but it helped me begin my own grieving process. As the years passed and I grew older, thinking of our ultimate end became easier for me. In 2002 my grandmother passed away, peacefully in her home at the age of 73. She was ill in the later years of her life. During our final conversation before her passing, I knew her time on earth was coming to an end; and while I fought to cherish the little time she had left, I was prepared to grieve for her once she took her last breath. However tragic death was, I readied myself for this anguish.

I was confident I could properly grieve for my grandmother. Death wouldn't catch me off guard.

But in 2004, my brother Gary took his life. I couldn't see it through the rage I felt at that time, but my way of thinking about our final end would change forever.

"That is not dead which can eternal lie, And with strange aeons even death may die."
?Howard Phillips Lovecraft, The Nameless City

Paranormal Investigation as Grief Therapy
There are many reasons why people get involved in the search for ghosts and hauntings. Some are looking for an adrenaline rush, some for notoriety. One common reason is the passing of a loved one. In my 17 years of research, I have met hundreds of individuals who are willing to journey into the dark for answers about the afterlife, just as I was after the death of my two brothers. Many paranormal investigators have found a sense of peace in trying to communicate with those that have come before us. After hearing countless stories from those in the field, I realized that the act of paranormal investigation was a form of grief therapy. I only ever made that connection when I read a book titled Corpses, Coffins and Crypts: A History of Burial by Penny Colman, which showed up on my radar for a research project I conducted many years ago. In chapter two of Colman's book, she cites a study performed by psychologist Maria Nagy in 1948:

"The children, who nicknamed Nagy 'Auntie Death,' had discussions with Nagy and drew pictures. In addition the older children followed Nagy's request to 'write down everything that comes to your mind about death.' Nagy studied their responses and concluded that some children go through three stages in understanding death. The youngest children aged three to about five tend to be curious about death and ask matter-of-fact questions about funerals, coffins, and cemeteries. To them, death is a continuation of life but at a lower level: dead people can't see and hear as well as living people, they aren't quite as hungry, and they don't do very much. And they might return.

Younger children appear to think that death is at best not much fun and boring and at the worst lonely and scary. Beginning at about the age of five or six, children tend to realize that death is final and move into what Nagy named Stage 2. Although at this stage, many children realized that death was final, some of them thought that they could escape death if they were clever, careful, or lucky. Christy Ottaviano remembers thinking like that when she was in elementary school. 'I had to walk past a cemetery to get to school,' she recalls. 'I thought that I wouldn't die if I held my breath the whole way. So I did until I was about nine or ten years old.' Christy may have stopped because she moved into what Nagy identified as Stage 3 in understanding death. This is when children tend to realize that in addition to being final, death is also inevitable. Everyone dies, even clever, careful, and lucky people. Or people who hold their breath when they walk past a cemetery. 'Death is destiny,' wrote one ten-year-old child. Another ten-year-old wrote, 'Everyone has to die.' According to Nagy, Stage 3, which starts at about age nine or ten, continues throughout life." (Colman 29, 30, 31)

Death and the Final Frontier
Reading Maria Nagy's The Child's Theories Concerning Death completely transformed my thought process. Having basically grown up in a cemetery and losing someone so close to me at such a young age, I made the jump from Nagy's proclaimed stage 2 to stage 3 in a more advanced timeframe. Other studies have shown that, "children who experienced a parent's death, who are dying themselves, or who have witnessed violent, traumatic death will perceive death in an adultlike manner at much earlier ages than children who have not had such experiences." ("Death—The Development Of A Concept Of Death—Children, Dead, Nagy, and Age - JRank Articles") These experiences of the human condition led me early on in a lifelong pursuit of finding answers about the possibility of retaining consciousness after the brain dies. Like many others in the study of ghosts and hauntings, I have found comfort in journeying into the dark, and I carry this into every investigation I conduct, into every bit of research I perform, and the hours upon hours of footage I review. And I will continue to do so, until I meet my own ultimate end.

References
Colman, Penny. 1997. Corpses, Coffins, and Crypts: A History of Burial. N.p.: Henry Holt and Company.
"Death—The Development Of A Concept Of Death—Children, Dead, Nagy, and Age—JRank Articles." n.d. Social Issues Reference. Accessed December 4, 2021. https://social.jrank.org/pages/186/Death-Development-Concept-Death.html#ixzz7E9jWV4N5.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2022. All rights reserved.

Some years ago, I was briefly involved with a guy I truly believed was my soul mate. At that time in my life, I was very responsible. For example, I always paid my bills as soon as they arrived. Then I broke up with my boyfriend and it was extremely painful; he kept me strung along thinking we might reconcile yet never offered me the the love and understanding I needed in order to patch things up. He made noises about his being a coward and avoiding things, including talking with me about our issues. I was emotionally tortured for years as I it took me a long time to realize we would never reconcile and I had to give up on thinking the two of us were meant to be. I am over him now though I still desperately wish I had not experienced the agony of that heartbreak. My issue now is this: after we broke up and I was devastated, I seemed to change a lot. I became far less responsible, often paying bills late or not at all, which of course damaged my previously perfect credit. It was like I was avoiding the bills, avoiding responsibility, and avoiding facing things. It was sort of like I had taken on my ex-boyfriend's character flaws. Does that sound crazy? Does that sort of thing happen? Or was there just something about the breakup that changed who I am? Is it a coincidence that it made me more like him? I can't explain why I started being less responsible, yet I did, and at times I feel powerless to force myself to be the way I was before. Even though I'm over the guy now, I haven't morphed back into the person I was before. Do you have any wisdom for me?

O.

Susyn:

This phenomenon is more common than you might imagine. When someone bonds with another on a deep level and then loses them through a break up, divorce or death, they can subconsciously take on the traits and behaviors of the missing person.

Metaphysically, we feel loss on many levels: emotionally, spiritually, physically and intellectually. Heartbreak can manifest in many ways. Where you were once responsible, there is a part of you that feels this is no longer important. In fact, when we lose a loved one, many things can seem to lose their former importance.

Even though you have come to terms with the breakup and believe that you are over him, your subconscious is attempting to find ways to stay connected. By mirroring his irresponsible behavior, you may be subconsciously trying to hold on to him.

When we put our heart and soul into a relationship, we freely give our energy to another person. If the other person doesn't reciprocate, we can feel like some part of ourselves has been stolen. When we then hang on to the past, it's usually because we are trying to reclaim the energy we once gave away so freely.

As a Capricorn, you feel deeply and give freely. There is another trait important to Capricorns that you once possessed but have now lost, and that is extraordinary responsibility. Until you can restore that part of your life, this situation will haunt you.

It's time to make a new commitment to yourself. Being truly happy means doing the right thing for you. Getting your finances in order, taking an inventory of your bills, and making a plan to regain your sense of balance may seem difficult, but it must be done eventually.

You will be amazed at how quickly your joy and self-esteem return once you begin to address the behaviors that aren't really a part of who you are or who you want to become. If you find it impossible to make a start, ask a trusted friend to help you, or look for a support group for getting out of debt.

As you concentrate on eliminating the uncharacteristic behaviors that have arisen since your breakup, your subconscious attachment to the past will start to dissolve. Once you reclaim who you really are, you will find it easier to move toward a bright and promising future with someone else.

*****

Oceania:

When we explore what's behind our emotional pain, we inevitably uncover hidden treasures. You have not yet morphed back to your old self because you have not yet discovered those gifts or lessons! I suspect they have to do with Anger and Commitment. It's certainly time to commit to yourself in a way this man couldn't.

The fact that you were emotionally tortured for years over someone with whom you were briefly involved leads me to look beyond your ex to explain your personal metamorphosis. To feel so attached to someone so quickly - to the point of calling them a soul mate - suggests that the dynamic between you felt familiar.

As a child, you probably coped with your parents' shortcomings by hoping they would change. That's a valid coping mechanism for children, but once we reach adulthood, it's more useful to see reality clearly and recognize people's limitations. While it felt devastating when he gave just enough to keep you hopeful yet never followed through with what you needed, it's important to note that you volunteered for this torture.

I'm reminded of a phenomenon called learned helplessness, which occurs when someone is repeatedly subjected to pain they can't escape, or when they have no control over their circumstances for an extended period of time. When the situation finally improves, the person doesn't take advantage of their new freedom to create positive change because they have learned to be helpless.

In a recent television interview, Diane Sawyer asked kidnapping victim Jaycee Dugard why she didn't leave her situation when escape became an ongoing possibility. Jaycee answered: It wasn't an option. On a smaller scale, you remained in an unfulfilling relationship when you could have walked out the door.

Your ex strung you along, misled you, and withheld love and understanding. You say you took on his character flaws when you avoided your responsibilities and stopped paying your bills on time. From what you wrote, it's easy to see that this man was not good partner material, yet it seems like you are punishing YOURSELF for the demise of the relationship by messing up things that are truly important to you.

Depression is sometimes called anger turned inward. Redirect your anger towards firmly maintaining wise boundaries so that you no longer allow hurtful treatment from anyone, including yourself. Turn self-destruction into self-preservation! You are not helpless. Reclaim your life one step at a time. Become the person you hoped your ex would be by exercising steadfast, loving commitment to creating the life you want to live.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.