KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

January 25 through January 31, 2021

Warning, warning! Mercury will be turning retrograde on Saturday, but we’ll start to see the effects of it as early as Monday. If you haven’t done so already, back up your phones, computers and electronic devices, just to be safe! We may lean toward more spiritual and emotional stances with the Moon traveling through Cancer Monday through Wednesday, so don’t worry if you can’t seem to get much done. Just go with the flow and stay alert to any intuitive messages that come your way. Our energy will spark up again on Thursday as the Moon waxes full in fiery Leo. This is also known as a Wolf Moon, so if you feel like getting out there and howling at the Moon, now you know why! This Moon sets off a two week period of release, allowing us to let go of any old mindsets or imagined restrictions that are holding us back. With the Sun traveling through Aquarius now, that means thinking outside the box, changing your regular routine, and embracing innovative ways to get to your dreams and goals! We’ll spend the weekend under a Virgo Moon, and with Mercury going retrograde on Saturday, it’s best to lay low, try not to overthink things, and keep your opinions to yourself!

5 Peculiar Secrets to Self Love, by Tess Whitehurst

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Self-love—you hear about it all the time, but what is it, really?

It's not having a high opinion of your abilities. That's self-esteem.

It's not giving yourself a hug when you feel stressed. That's self-kindness.

It's not taking time for a pedicure. That's self-care.

Self-esteem and self-kindness and self-care are just fine. They're great, actually. But they aren't the same thing as self-love.

Self-love is actually just what it sounds like. It's love…for your self.

But for some reason it's easier to consider what love is when you think about someone other than yourself. Your cat, say. Or your grandma. Or maybe your baby. Basically anyone you absolutely, positively, unquestioningly love. Do you know you love them because you have a high opinion of their talents? Do you know you love them because you gave them a hug? Do know you love them because you filed their toenails?

No. You know you love them because love is a powerful thing and there's nothing else like it. You see your loved one, and you connect with their eternal, worthy, adorable self. You feel expanded and uplifted when you're around them. You wish with your whole heart that they could always know their own inherent worth. You would drive into a 0% contained wildfire to save them. It's not because they're perfect, or even exceptional in any particular way. It's because…you love them.

Now turn that lens around. Imagine feeling that way about yourself.

That's self-love.

Now that we've identified it, how do we live it? Here’s how: we open our hearts to ourselves wider and wider over time. First the self-love shows up as a trickle. Then it might sputter a bit. Over time, it becomes a creek, and then a river, rainstorm, waterfall, and flood, and then eventually we get in touch with our self-love's ancient and eternal depths and it becomes the ocean.

Here are some strange and unexpected ways you can begin to open the floodgates.

1. Forget About Being Awesome.
   Let's revisit the example above: the person or animal you love. They might be amazingly awesome in certain ways. In fact, they almost definitely are. But that's not why you love them. And you would never, ever want them to feel like they had to be awesome in any particular way in order to deserve your love—or anyone else's, for that matter.So, stop demanding awesomeness of yourself as a prerequisite to self-love.

   This is not to say that you aren't awesome. I'm sure you are. But that's not what makes you worthy of love. Your lack of awesomeness in a particular area is not exactly a reason to love yourself, but it can be a portal into self-love.

   For example:

   • Do you act awkward on first dates? If the main character of a movie had that same tendency, you'd love her for it. Why not love yourself for it, too?
   • Do you panic whenever you need to parallel park in a pinch? Next time that happens, think of it as an opportunity to have compassion with yourself for being an imperfect human, doing her best.
   • How often do you cook up a meal only to realize you forgot an ingredient or left it in the oven too long? Or maybe you never cook up any meals at all. Either way: so relatable! Everyone else loves you for it—why can't you love yourself?
2. Eat Whatever You Want All the Time.
   Did you read that right? Did I mean to write, "Eat Whatever You Want…All The Time??Yes, ma'am. Alllllllllllll the time. As in, wake up, eat what you want. Then keep doing that all day. What if you wake up in the middle of the night and you're hungry? Eat! Whatever you want! And keep eating it until you don't want it anymore. If you haven't been initiated into the intuitive eating movement yet, that all sounds like crazy talk. I know. I know because that's exactly how it would have sounded to me before I learned that once you start eating what you want all the time, and then you stick to it, your cravings and desires start to even out. Your body starts to trust you to feed it what it wants when it needs to eat. So then it doesn't ask for chocolate or Fritos or birthday cake during every waking hour. It asks for those things sometimes, but other times it asks for green smoothies, grapes, salad, almond milk yogurt, or fire-roasted peppers and steamed kale over quinoa.

   But the best thing about intuitive eating? You don't have to obsess about food anymore. It's there when you want it. So when you don't want it, you know you don't want it, and you can concentrate on other things—like writing your romance novel or talking to your nephew about his new video game or watching the sunrise with your best friend…And loving yourself, exactly as you are—which includes letting your body be the exact size and shape it wants to be. (Which, spoiler alert, probably doesn't match the Photoshopped #fitspiration bodies on Instagram. And if having that sort of body involves obsessing about food all day? Then who needs it, honestly.)

3. What Random Person Annoys You? Investigate.
   Is there someone you secretly can't stand, and you don't know exactly why? Or maybe you do know why, but your annoyance seems a little disproportionate? Like, why on earth do I care so much? We're not talking about jealousy here (because we're talking about that below). We're talking about someone irritating you like an emotional mosquito bite.Here's your mission: figure it out. What exactly is it that bugs you? Describe it. Is she full of herself? Does he act entitled? Do they use figures of speech that irk you? What?

   Then, ask yourself: what if I let myself be that way? Just a little bit? Would it be fun? Could it be fun? What would it look like?

   Often those odd little inexplicable annoyances are pointing to something in your own personality that you haven't previously been willing to claim. Maybe you wish you could be a little more "full of yourself." Maybe you'd love to believe you were "entitled." Maybe you secretly desire to use trendy little slang expressions or just to be a little less strait-laced with your communication style.

   This is a way of getting to know yourself better. And to know you is to love you.

4. Name Your Inner Critic. Mine's Called Chad.
   Actually, my inner critic isn't called Chad anymore. The critical voice in my head used to appear as a sort of rapey party dude named Chad who had a lot of super rude opinions about my body and appearance. But after giving Chad a name and imagining him as a character, I realized I didn't really value his opinion, and he eventually disappeared. I still have an inner critic show up sometimes, but it's not the same guy.The point is, by naming the inner voices that speak negatively to you, you gain power over them. They don't seem so omniscient or omnipotent. You can be like, "You are so creepy! Why should I care what you think?" Or, depending on how your inner critic shows up and what they say to you, there may be other ways you can work with them to diminish their power to bring you down or keep you small.
5. Admit It: You're Jealous. But of Whom? Discuss.
   We don't like to admit to jealousy. It's not an attractive or elegant emotion to have. Nevertheless, most of us are at least a little jealous of someone. Or, more often, more than one someone.What's fun about jealousy is that it almost always holds the key to one or more positive qualities we already have but don't realize we have. Or possibly choices we wish we could make, but haven't yet. For example, if you have a natural talent for comedy, but you never tell jokes, you might be wildly jealous of the funniest guy you know. He might tell a joke and while everyone else is laughing, you're wondering what the hell everyone thinks is so funny. Or, maybe you've always wished you could explore the world, but instead you went to college and then immediately entered the workforce and had some kids. Your adventurous friend might light up the jealousy center in your brain whenever you scroll past another goddamn picture of her smiling in Rome or Amsterdam or Dubai.

   So, what is it? What part of you is asking to be seen, acknowledged, and set free? And how can you go ahead and let yourself out of that cage? By telling a joke or two? By planning a modest trip (it doesn't have to be Dubai)? Or what?

   Freeing yourself to be even more of yourself is an act of both giving and receiving love. To yourself.

Remember, opening up to loving yourself isn't a switch you flip. It's an emotional flow that becomes more and more robust over time. Choose to see yourself through eyes of love and take weird little steps like the ones above. In time, your drippy little faucet of self-love will be as wide and as deep as the sea.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2021. All rights reserved.

I had a rather strange, disturbing dream that I'm hoping you can help me interpret. In the dream, my late grandfather came to me. He didn't say anything; in fact, he didn't even greet me. He just looked at me with a worried look on his face and he seemed a bit lonely. I miss him so much, for he was more than my grandfather - he was also my best friend. What do you make of this dream, and what can I do to determine its significance? Thank you!

Hiwot

Astrea:

Many times when we dream about our loved ones living or on the Spirit Plane, they don't speak to us verbally, for much communication in dreams occurs telepathically. Depending on how long your grandfather has been departed, he may not speak to you for many dreams, and when he does, you may hear him differently than you did when he was living.

My grandfather never speaks to me in dreams but we understand each other. This is after many years of practice on my part. He is still the same as he's always been: He was pretty quiet when he was alive too, though he did talk to us and teach us things.

You're smart to pay attention to your grandfather's facial expressions because that's how he's teaching you to understand him. The only thing he is worried about is that you don't hear him yet. The next time you dream of him, try to tell him in words that you can't understand what he's trying to tell you.

You'll dream of him again. Over time, you may experience waves when you dream of him often or know he is there, and periods when he doesn't seem to be around as much. You might devote a dream journal to just the dreams you have of him. Then you may begin to recognize the other dreams he is sending you to show you things about other family members and important events in your life.

Even though he is no longer physically present, you can forever call on him for help. If he can't talk to you one way, he'll find another way in time. The two of you were too close when he was living to let that bond be broken now.

Perhaps he looks sad and lonely because he is still figuring things out too. I find that it takes at least a year for newly departed spirits to feel entirely comfortable coming back to us, for they don't want to upset us.

First they don't want to frighten us, and then they worry that we may think we're about to join them. I'm sure he's sad because he sees how sad YOU are and he doesn't want you to keep grieving.

We miss our loved ones who can't pick up the phone or drive over to see us any longer, but they're all still there. Mine swear to me that they don't ever see me do anything bad or embarrassing, so don't worry about anything like that!

I'm happy that he loves you enough to come to you. It takes a lot of energy from the spirit world to be present with us, just like it takes a lot of energy for us to miss them the way we do. The more you understand how alike the living and the departed are, the easier it will be for you to continue to communicate with your best friend.

*****

Susyn:

Dreams can carry powerful messages, especially when they involve our loved ones who have crossed over to the other side. In fact, dreams are one of the most effective ways spirits can visit us to let us know that they are okay and remind us that they are watching over us. You don't mention how long ago your grandfather passed away, but the basic message of the dream is clear: He loves you and misses you.

These types of dreams can be unsettling if we feel that our loved ones seem worried or sad. It's possible that because he was your best friend, he knows you better than most. Perhaps if you journal about this dream and review the things that are going on in your life currently, you may be able to identify areas of concern or directions in which you are moving that may not be in your best interests.

Even though your grandfather didn't appear to speak to you in this dream, the emotions you feel about it are sending a strong message that he is concerned for your well-being. Because it can be difficult to try to manifest another dream about him (dreams seem to have minds of their own), you may want to engage in some guided meditation to see if you can learn more.

Sit quietly in a place where you can meditate and call in his spirit. Light some white candles, burn sage or musk incense, and if you like, play some of his favorite music in the background. You might also want to place a photograph of him in front of you or hold one of his possessions. Together, these actions will align your intention to talk specifically with him.

Next, just begin to converse with him in your head or out loud. Ask him why he looked so worried in your dream and if he is lonely. Tell him how much you miss him. Then sit in the silence and wait.

Oftentimes our loved ones on the other side will let us know they are near by way of a sensation of touch, a favorite aroma, or ideally messages that come into our minds that we can identify as being from them.

If your meditation doesn't seem to answer your questions, you might consider consulting a psychic. Most reputable psychics possess keen dream interpretation abilities, and some may be able to channel your loved ones on the other side.

Your sense that your grandfather seemed sad or lonely in the dream is probably accurate. When our loved ones cross over, they miss us as much as we miss them. If your overall interpretation is that he is also worried about you, employing one of the above methods should clarify his concerns and reveal how you can allay them.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.