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February 1 through February 7, 2021

February starts off with the planets taking sides as the free-wheeling Aquarius Sun squares off with staid and steady Mars in Taurus. Avoiding the urge to stand your ground and decide who’s right and who’s wrong will be essential, as the lines get blurred and realities shift. So with that in mind, let’s all lean into the calm and harmonious Libra Moon that sails through the heavens Monday and Tuesday. Venus will arrive on Aquarius’ doorstep Monday, another no-holds-bar placement that will require we stay patient, alert, and open to the possibilities of finding a middle ground. With a Scorpio Moon overhead on Wednesday and Thursday, the answer to any conflicts we encounter may be to go internal, turn toward spiritual guidance and allow the Universe to take the reins. Things settle down over the weekend as the Moon skips through light-hearted Sagittarius Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. There’s an old saying that if you can’t beat them, join them, but before you take sides one way or the other, ask yourself this: “Would I rather be right? or Happy?”

Q and A with Elisa Romeo, MFT & Adam Foley
Authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships

Our deepest common human desire is to be met deeply, intimately and with unconditional love. Why is it, then, that what we most yearn for is one of the most elusive things to find and sustain?

In Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling, authors Elisa Romeo and Adam Foley say that the problem is that many of us have lost connection with the authentic and unconditional part of ourselves — the Soul. How can we connect with another on a soulful level if we do not understand ourselves personally and intimately on a Soul level? How can we find a soul mate if we can’t see and feel our own Soul?

These questions are at the heart of Holy Love, which offers readers an invitation to profound growth, fulfilling love, and radical self-discovery via a groundbreaking method designed to transform any relationship into a spiritual path of awakening. We hope you’ll enjoy this Q & A with Elisa and Adam about the book.

What is the definition of ‘love,’ or as you put it, “Holy Love?”

When we speak about Holy Love, we are referring to a love that is not built upon projection. Most people think they are ‘in love’ when they are ‘in projection.’ It feels really great for a while, until the projection pops or fades, and then it can feel horrible, as if we never knew who the other person was at all. Projection is when we are incapable of seeing the other person’s personality or Soul standing before us. Just like a movie projector, we only see them through our own interpretation, which is filtered through personal traumas, beliefs and societal programs. Love is having the courage to open the heart and stay in the body while the energy of expansion melts old projections that hold deep fear and psychological landmines of misunderstanding and miscommunication.

What is the difference between someone’s personality and someone’s Soul?

The personality is the part of us that is inherent, but it is also shaped by the events and programming of our lives. The Soul is our essence — the unchanging, eternal and all-loving part of ourselves. The Soul has access to a higher and wider interpretation of our lives and is always available for guidance and healing. The Soul is our true nature and true love originates on a Soul level. People are often disappointed in their relationships because they do not feel seen and met on a Soul level. They become frustrated by the limitations of relationship but they have never understood themselves in their true nature. It is a huge misunderstanding and major part of why so many people experience unfulfilling relationships. Holy Love asks, “How can we find our Soul mate if we don’t know ourselves first, as Souls?” The book gives the clear map of precisely how to get there and finally be met in our relationships in a fulfilling and meaningful way.

You say that relationships serve as training for how to ‘become love.’ Is this true for challenging relationships and those relationships we would describe as ‘bad’ or having failed?

It is especially true with the relationships that we feel failed or would call bad. We see the ‘earth school,’ as some call it, as Love University. It is through our challenging, hard or unfulfilling moments and relationships that we get real clarity of what Love is and isn’t. This gives us information on how to grow, expand, and evolve.

You say that many of us are unprepared for Holy Love because we expect love to rescue us, when love actually is a crucible. What do you mean by that?

A crucible is a trial or test that is so powerful that we are forever transformed by going through it. Our human relationships are not built to be an on-command wet-nurse of comfort for our pouting inner child. We need to evolve our relationships developmentally so are able to view conflict as an opportunity to become Love itself. Instead of getting resentful that the mere human before us cannot always resolve all of our inner pain, we expand to more of our own potential and discover them beyond our personal demands. This is how the experience of human relationship and Love becomes a powerful, transformative spiritual path. There are few things that bring us more pain and suffering than relationships and our attachment wounds. It is the realm of relationship, which brings radical potential for spiritual growth. Love is a way to find comfort and companionship, which Holy Love does this as well. And it is also SO much more, in that it also serves as the portal to introduce ourselves to an often inaccessible, newly activated, part of ourselves, which is our Soul.

Is Holy Love applicable for single people and other relationships besides intimate partnerships?

Oh yes. Holy Love is a relational state in which we enter. That relationship can be internal with our Higher Self and the Divine, or external with another. Many nuns and monks are incredible examples of living Holy Love. Some of the most important relationships to practice Holy Love are with our children, our families, our neighbors, and, especially, our enemies. When we see someone as an enemy we are incapable of seeing their Soul. We believe this work is crucial and has the potential to bring radical peace and healing to the world. When we see ourselves as inherently connected to the “opposing team” we are much more interested in being creative with cooperation, empathy, and finding sustainable solutions.

What is Soul Journaling/Dialoguing and why is it so important?

Soul journaling is the practice of building the second spiritual relationship between your ego and your Soul. Through this practice, we learn to humble the ego and open and receive information from the wise and loving higher self, the Soul. Soul journaling is a spiritual workout just like going to the gym is for physical muscles. It is a regular practice to consistently practice raising our brain state from beta to theta, thereby building that crucial inner ‘listening muscle.’ This builds a conscious relationship with our Soul so that we can really tell the difference between projections and intuition. Another way of explaining it is being able to discern the voice of ego from the voice of Soul. If we practice this regularly, the muscle gets so strong that intuition doesn’t just happen to us when we are lucky or feeling good. We can hear our Soul when in a crisis, caught in a psychological complex or deep within a depression to help us navigate.

What is the most important thing you hope readers will take away from Holy Love?

I think the most important thing is that humans are made to do this work. It may seem intimidating at first, but our nature is Love. Becoming conscious of ourselves as Love is our spiritual birthright. Ultimately, it takes more energy to not become Holy Love. We spend unconscious energy resisting our authentic selves everyday. With Holy Love, we become aware of how and where we are doing that, so we can spend less energy resisting our true nature and more time enjoying the benefits of being conscious of who we are as Love. We don’t need to do anything to awaken. We just need to stop our addiction and habitual programming to unawakening. Then we naturally find ourselves in Holy Love.

Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley are the authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships and cohosts of the Holy & Human Podcast.  Together, they help individuals awaken and deepen their soulful nature within relationship. Visit them online at holyandhuman.com.

Excerpted from the book from Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships. Copyright ©2022 by Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I'm writing to try to figure out why I have such strong feelings of attraction for my nephew. I think they are too strong, and I feel very wrong and guilty about them. He is 38 years old and I'm in my fifties. I recently saw him after not seeing him for many years, and this sense of connection hit me right away. What's going on? I feel wrong and unsure of how to handle my feelings. I don't think he knows how I feel. He respects me as his aunt. He trusts me and opens up to me about his life and problems. I don't know what to think or how to feel, and am wondering if these deep feelings stem from a past life. Thank you!

J.

Astrea:

Of course you knew each other in a past incarnation. You have probably been together in a number of lives and in several different types of relationships. He is your nephew now, but he could have been your father, brother, lover or friend before. He could have even been your mother or your sister. Your souls bonded in those other times.

This emotional confusion is a natural part of the life experience with Old Souls. Old couples return as twins, as man and wife, and in other relationships too, for they always seek to reconnect with each other in whatever way they can.

Even though you might think your feelings for your nephew are wrong or inappropriate, with time and some healing, you'll be just fine. These feelings are upsetting you because they aren't considered normal, so you feel guilty and ashamed. Anyone would at first, but with knowledge that this attraction is part of the Whole Soul process, you can make peace with it all.

We all have that person in the world who is the opposite/same as us. The most accepted explanation of what happens at death is that one soul waits for the other, they learn what lessons they can, and they agree to return and go through the life journey together again.

The key here is for both souls to agree. Sometimes, souls have different ideas about what they want to experience, and as a result, one soul may arrive later than the other. The soul who is forced to be lonely for many years often finds another soul connection or someone at random to spend this waiting period with.

Then the other soul takes the plunge to return to Earth because it's vital that they be together. So while we often assume soul mates will be romantically involved, sometimes that's not practical or possible.

You and your nephew evolved past this frustration before you each returned this time. You feel a strong desire to be with him, but what you feel is NOT sexual desire, but rather spiritual attraction. He may go through the same strong sense of spiritual attraction later or even while you're in this phase.

Just be prepared for that possibility and resolve to let Nature guide you. She will. You may feel wrong now, but neither of you is going to DO anything wrong. Your situation feels extraordinary but it happens all the time.

I'm sure your nephew doesn't know how you're feeling. If you spend more time together, you'll work this out together too. You need each other. If you respect and focus on the spiritual foundation of your relationship, everything will work out just fine.

*****

Susyn:

The attraction you feel for your nephew could be rooted in many things, including the past lives you've lived together. From your email, I gather that you have not been close with him over the years, but only recently discovered this attraction.

It is believed that we tend to reincarnate in groups. For that reason, many of us naturally experience soul-based recognition of many of the family members and friends with whom we share our lives. Further, we know that they grew up with the same teachings we received, and that we share some of the same genes.

The fact that you are related to him makes this feel wrong and is the reason you are so concerned. I recommend you consider the possibility that you might be attracted to your nephew even if he were not related to you. Then, instead of thinking of yourself as a bad person for feeling this way, you may come to see that you are simply having a natural human reaction to someone you respect and admire.

While you are limited in what you can do about these feelings, you might have the same experience if you found yourself attracted to your boss, a married man or someone else who was beyond your reach for one reason or another.

When we experience feelings such as you describe, we must be strong enough within ourselves not to act on them. To avoid heartbreak, embarrassment and the loss that could come from inappropriate actions, you would be wise to keep your feelings tucked away.

You may also be sensing a connection the two of you shared from a past life in which you may have been blocked from having a relationship due to bad timing, social mores or other restrictions. You may have been secret lovers in a past life, which could be playing out in this lifetime with different boundaries.

The lessons we learn from these experiences are not about acting on our feelings or even understanding the reasons behind them. These lessons are designed to awaken, change or complete something that is missing within us on a deep soul level.

Though you are drawn to your nephew, if you hold your feelings in check, you can still enjoy a wonderful relationship with him. Just like if you had ended up feeling an attraction for a best friend who was not interested in a relationship, with the right mindset and boundaries, you could still maintain the friendship.

So be happy knowing that you have a great relationship with someone you admire. If you keep any inappropriate feelings to yourself, you can enjoy an enduring connection that will warm your heart in spiritual ways.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.