KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

February 8 through February 14, 2021

Happy Chinese New Year! 2021’s year of the Ox heralds in a more stable energy as we leave behind the year of the Rat and all the troubles it brought our way. Staying grounded, being proactive, and recreating our lives from the ground up will be the theme this year. Many of us discovered we had built our “homes” out of straw, which upended them during last year’s pandemic, so we’re now ready to buckle down and create a more solid foundation. As we start laying the bricks for our future, we’ll discover new ways to improve our health, our finances, and our environment. If there’s anything you simply have to get done this week, move on it Monday and Tuesday when the Moon is in no-nonsense Capricorn. Once Wednesday hits we’ll be under the influence of the unpredictable Aquarius Moon, and when it culminates in an Aquarius new Moon on Wednesday, we’ll be off and running in all directions! The Chinese New Year is officially celebrated on Thursday, so in combination with the New Moon, should have us ready to recommit to our resolutions and start anew into 2021. We can take a breather Friday and Saturday as the Moon drifts through spiritual Pisces, regrouping and relaxing after a fairly demanding week. Sunday’s Aries Moon will put us in the mood to play, so grab your favorite person and get out and have some fun!

Elevating Sex into Authentic Soul Union
An Excerpt from Holy Love by Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley

Most people believe sex begins in the bedroom, but sex begins with the energetic relationship we cultivate in our daily lives. Soul sex doesn’t start when he leans forward to kiss her but when he takes out the trash. Soul sex is not initiated when she takes off her clothes but when she lights up as he walks through the door. Talking, sitting together in silence, and going for a walk can all be forms of energetic preparation for Soul sex. Any activity can set the energetic mood, so to speak, if we are present, intimate, and in a state of unconditional love together. This may sound simple enough, yet couples rarely are emotionally available to bask in a state of absolute acceptance and unconditionality. If we cannot reach this state in our daily lives, we certainly cannot attain it in the bedroom. But we can build up to this state of being through what we like to call unconditional foreplay.

Unconditional foreplay consists of daily acts, no matter how small, done with pure love. These acts show our partners — and convince their nervous system — that they are safe and cared for. These small, yet powerful, loving acts slowly permit our partner to enter a state of receiving true love. Our acts of love are defined, not by what we do, but by how we do them.

What may look externally like an unconditional act may in truth be conditional. If we are motivated by codependency, needing approval or seeking an emotional reward from our partner, our action remains conditional, and so does our sex. The difference has everything to do with intention, with the energy underlying the act. For instance, if we buy flowers for our partner because we are motivated by the desire for approval, it is a conditional (or inherently fear-based) act. We are giving them a gift in exchange for affection; it is an attempt to purchase love. We may even get upset with our partner if they do not like the flowers or they do not give us the egoic validation we want. Conditional love has rules and expectations.

But this same act, while looking identical on the outside, can also be motivated by Soul’s unadulterated love. In unconditional acts, we celebrate our love. We do not ask our partners to be personal stewards of approval; rather, we give love freely. We do not love our partners merely because they make us feel good but because we see and champion the unique beauty of their Souls. In unconditional relationship we do not addictively chase a particular feeling but rejoice in another’s simple existence. We do not attempt to control our partner’s feelings so that we feel better ourselves; we simply love, endlessly.

If we want to elevate sex into authentic Soul union, we must start by living authentically, as Soul, in daily relationship. Our sexual issues of disconnection do not originate or heal in the bedroom but in the daily minutiae of our lives. If we want Holy Love to visit us in bed, we must nurture it outside of the bedroom. Couples often live in an ego-to-ego relationship all day long and then feel disappointed when they don’t have meaningful, mind-blowing sex at night. This leads couples to assume they have physical intimacy issues when in truth their discord is a result of avoiding emotional intimacy in their everyday interactions. The old Zen saying “How you do one thing is how you do everything” teaches us to be mindful of how we show up in all areas of our lives. If, at 5 p.m., we ask our partner in a rushed and urgent manner about the details of the bank account, at 10 p.m. the bedroom vibe will most likely be rushed and urgent. To enter an unconditional state of union, we must use spiritual information paired with real-world action.

Many of us have blocks to receiving Holy Love, especially if we were neglected, abandoned, or rejected in relationships before. Daily acts of unconditional love allow even the deepest wounds of intimacy to heal. Such acts calm our base emotional needs — such as the need for safety — while bringing down to earth the spiritual potential of Holy Love. The result is a mutual spiritual trust that deepens over time. In the words of the famed theologian Beatrice Bruteau, “Love seeks the ultimately real.” This real truth is found, Bruteau writes, by “an outflowing action of loving another person.” When we create the environment of love within our relationships, we open space for the Soul to come forth.

We do not necessarily need unconditional foreplay to have Soul sex. At times Soul may possess us with love. Soul may find a window in which our wounds are not triggered, anxiety is low, and hearts are open. But these moments are dependent on circumstance. If we wish to have a conscious and regular practice of Soul sex, we must begin by implementing loving actions in our relationship. When we see through the eyes of Soul in intimate relationship, every action (or lack of action) carries weight. Every act in relationships is either spiritual foreplay (increasing the ability to receive unconditionality) or distancing (increasing the belief in conditionality). From this vantage point, any time spent together becomes an opportunity for unconditional foreplay.

Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley are the authors of Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships and cohosts of the Holy & Human Podcast.  Together, they help individuals awaken and deepen their soulful nature within relationship. Visit them online at holyandhuman.com.

Excerpted from the book from Holy Love: The Essential Guide to Soul-Fulfilling Relationships. Copyright ©2022 by Elisa Romeo, MFT, and Adam Foley. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I'm trying to sell my aunt's house, as I'm the closest living relative who is able to take something like this on. (She was widowed at a young age, and her only child preceded her in death.) She spent the last thirty years or so living alone in her house, and she rarely left it. She passed away last fall, and as soon as I went into her house to begin to clear it out and prepare it for sale, I definitely felt a strong sense of her presence. I believe she is still there, and based on the reactions of other people (like the real estate agent I hired, and some repair people who came in to fix the place up) they can sense something too. Everyone freezes right inside the door and looks around as if they are looking for another person. Now I'm wondering if ghosts can try to prevent the sale of their former home by creating a certain atmosphere or something, and if so, what I should do. Thanks for your advice!

- Bethany

Dreamchaser:

Of course ghosts, earthbound spirits, or spirits who pass back and forth between this world and the next can prevent the sale of a house. Every single building we walk into has an auric atmosphere, which is composed of the energy traces or memories of everyone who was ever there. Sometimes houses are inhabited by non-physical beings who don't want to leave yet.

Your aunt is one of those beings. She has chosen to stay here on this side for a while. She doesn't want to leave her house because she was comfortable there. It was her sanctuary and her haven when she was in this world, and she sees no need to leave it now if she doesn't have to.

The angels who meet us to take us to the Light always tell us that we have a choice. We don't have to go to the Light if we don't want to at that time. They will wait for us. My own father stayed earthbound for over three years. It won't harm your aunt to stick around, though apparently, it IS harming your efforts to sell the house.

You don't have to sage the place, because she's not a negative spirit - she is just keeping residence there. Here is what I suggest you do: Visit the house alone, and go to the room your aunt loved the most in life. Call out to her and tell her that you want to talk to her. (When you do this, make sure you call her by name.) Imagine that she is sitting in the same room with you, and tell her the following:

Aunt, because I love you, I have to tell you that you are dead. You have a Light near you, and there are beings in that Light that are waiting for you. This is no longer your house - your true home is through the Light.

I need to sell this house and settle your estate. I know that you would want a nice family with kids living in the house, filling it up with joy and laughter again. You don't have to go to the Light, but you really should. If you want to stay here, you have to be quiet and stop creeping out everyone who comes in the door. Thank you.

That should help. She will understand that she is dead, and she will understand what you are saying and trying to accomplish. Hopefully, she will then back down some.

She's not trying to sabotage your efforts or hoping to prevent the house from selling - I promise you that! She just considers it her house still. She also doesn't fully understand that she's dead now, so you may want to emphasize that point.

She may hang around a while longer just to see what is going on and what you are doing to and with the house. She may run off bad prospective buyers as well. Just know that your aunt will be fine, and that the house will sell.

I wish you peace with this peculiar situation.

*****

Astrea:

A ghost can CERTAINLY keep a house from selling! I'm sitting in a 100-year-old house because its spirits don't want me to sell it, so I know what you're up against. There are lots of stories about departed spirits preventing the sale of their former homes, or trying to prevent the new people living there from enjoying themselves.

Fortunately, I love my house so it doesn't bother me, and I can live in it even though I have to fix, replace and repair things constantly. Since you don't want to live in your aunt's house, you have to find some way to move her on into the Light.

This is also important for her own sake, for by releasing her former home, she can go on to a new Celestial Incarnation, where she'll wait for the rest of her Karmic Family to join her.

Your aunt has yet to move on from her home because it takes about a year for a person who has been in one place on earth that long to let go of their earthly surroundings. Wood is the best ghost conductor I know, and I'm sure your aunt's house is full of it.

In the basement is all the discarded energy, while the attic holds treasured energy. This living space is filled with her energy, and it will be for a long time to come unless she decides to move on.

Over the past few years I've discovered a number of ways to help a person move on into the Light. The most common is this:

Assemble a Bible, one white candle, and a bell. (You can use the jingle bells from a Christmas hat, it doesn't have to be anything fancy.) Inscribe your aunt's full name on the candle and light it. Open the Bible to the 23rd Psalm and read it aloud. Ring the bell.

Then say St. Michael's Prayer: St. Michael, Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the Devil, may God rebuke him. We humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the Heavenly Host, by the Power of God, cast into Hell Satan and all the other evil spirits who prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls.

Then add, Take with Thee our Sister ________ (your aunt's full name), and lead her into the Light of God. Amen. Close the Bible, ring the bell, and blow out the candle. This should take care of things.

People who get very attached to what they have and what they own often become earthbound. My relatives come and go regularly around here, but since I have lived in this house my whole life, they rarely meddle. It's still unsettling when they do, but I'm used to it.

I hope that my Nanny, who lived next door, visits the awful neighbors who bought that house on a regular basis. After my cousin sold the place, she must have decided to stay and make as much trouble for the new occupants as possible, for they call the place Our Amityville House!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.