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An excerpt from Stop Checking Your Likes 
by Susie Moore

Your intuition is the inner pressing of the wiser you. It’s the still, small voice inside giving you direction. It’s the oldest, wisest part of you. Notice how every time someone gives you vacation recos, they’ll describe the best activities based on what they did. Their intentions are good, and suggestions are wonderful if you’re feeling them! But sometimes the pressure to “do all the things” in a new city is exhausting. You end up needing a holiday from your holiday. So if you got to Rome and you don’t really feel like seeing the Vatican, the Colosseum, or that “must-visit” gelato bar...don’t! So what? If you’d rather just drink Sangiovese, shop, eat pasta, and take in the atmosphere, then do that! It’s your holiday. And it belongs to you. The same goes for choosing a career, a city, even a couch.

Think of a time when you’ve trusted your intuition, even though it seemed to make no sense at all. What happened? Think of a time when you went against your intuition, because it didn’t seem sensible to follow it. What happened?

Direct Message

Think for a second and take a deep breath. What is that knowing? That something inside? That voice?

It’s your wise AF inner guidance. And no one else can tune in to it but you. It can help you with a million things — from choosing the right career path to meeting your life partner even to saving your life. Yep. It’s that vital.

Your Inner Pilot

You can listen to advice, yes. You can talk things out with people you trust. But only you can ever ultimately know what’s best for you at any moment. The question you want to ask yourself is, In this moment, am I letting my intuition guide me? No one knows what’s inside you, the same way that you don’t know what’s inside others. Your desires, intentions, and instincts are not felt by anyone but you. You have an inner pilot ready to drive your beautifully unique life forward...you just have to use it. It’s your greatest treasure.

Living a Self-Directed Life

Can you stop second-guessing yourself  ? Even the most extraordinary among us, those we look to for guidance, have ordinary problems just like we do. Other people don’t know better, even though it can seem that way sometimes. And they certainly don’t know best when it comes to knowing what’s right for you. I’ll never forget the time I heard a well-known spiritual teacher say onstage, “I’ve written six self-help books and I’m a f*cking mess!”

This is where self-approval will save you a thousand times. When you can rely on your inner like button, you’ll be living a self-directed life. And unlike all those people on their deathbeds wishing they’d lived a life truer to themselves, you’ll reach that stage with far fewer regrets. And the sooner you can get there, the better for you. You don’t have to wait until you’re on your deathbed!

When you trust yourself, not only will you make better, aligned decisions, but you’ll have far more fun, too. Your inner guidance doesn’t just want to keep you safe. It wants you to have a rich, full, healthy, vibrant, playful life! Because the basis of a good life is joy, freedom, and personal progress. That is what the universe is always supporting. And using your brain, tradition, or societal rules alone can hinder that.

One January morning, when my regular yoga class became a mat-to-mat experience, I had to laugh a little at the universal New Year’s enthusiasm. But in this particular class, the teacher said something cool to all the newbies in the room: “If you lose your balance and fall, that’s perfect. If you don’t know the pose and have never heard Sanskrit before, that’s perfect, too. Just copy the rest of us and try your best. If you’re confused and regret coming at any time — also perfect! Just enjoy yourself. Explore your body’s limits. Play around.”

And as the class kicked off, I was surprised by something: the experienced yogis seemed to have the least fun of all. I noticed their furrowed brows, their discomfort when toppling during a standing balance, and their rushing ahead instead of flowing with the breath.

As for the newbies, one of them asked, “Hey, what’s an asana?” They were just throwing themselves in wholeheartedly, and it didn’t matter that they didn’t know the terminology. They had the most fun, and probably got the best workout, too. A couple of them even went for it with headstands — something I never even attempt after nearly ten years of going to classes! And it worked, dammit!

Again, take a breath and think of a time when that brain of yours entirely led the way. What happened?

Now take another breath and think of a time when your heart led you fully. What happened?

Reflecting on that for a moment, do you want more of those heart-driven, intuitive moments to create your life? Probably, right?

There’s nothing wrong with using your head. It’s an amazing decision-making filter that keeps you safe and helps you make sound decisions. But the brain isn’t pro-experimentation.
It’s not willing to look stupid, take a risk, or make a mistake. Our heads like routine and the perceived security it brings us. But not every decision needs to be sensible. Pure sensibleness blocks opportunity. The universe gave us a brain and a heart. We need to use both in making decisions.

So what’s the heart like as a guide? Well, it doesn’t overthink. It feels. It goes where it’s called. And who knows where that can take you? Maybe something as unexpected as a successful headstand (that would’ve taken your brain more than a decade to arrive at).

Instant Intuition

If you’re still feeling stuck, here’s a potent Instant Intuition technique that will help you make the right decision:

Sit down comfortably.
Take a few deep breaths to clear your mind and settle the body.
Close your eyes.
Visualize your first option. See yourself moving forward with this choice. Picture it happening in the present moment in vivid color. Imagine the activity, the outcome, the ripple effects.
Keep breathing, and notice how your body feels and responds.
Now visualize your second option. See yourself moving forward with this choice. Picture it happening in the present moment in vivid color. Imagine the activity, the outcome, the ripple effects.
Keep breathing, and notice how your body feels and responds.
If there’s a third and fourth option, keep going until you’ve covered them all.
Which option made your body relax? That’s the best decision for you.

See? Your body will support you in making the right choices. Your body houses around 30 to 40 trillion of the most intelligent cells on earth! Respect them!

Anything that creates a spark of curiosity within us or generates some desire that typically lies dormant is often our intuition guiding us to say yes to more. Human beings are different from all other animals. We have the gift of higher consciousness and the ability to make choices using both our instincts and our intellect. We have this wildly helpful thing called instinct, and a brain that’s smarter than any computer that exists. We can feel and think. We can understand doubt, process it, and use our intellect to reason. And when you use everything that’s available to you, you’ll never have to blame anyone else again. You realize how powerful you are in creating your life. And you won’t let yourself down.

Susie Moore is the author of Stop Checking Your Likes and What If It Does Work Out? which was named by Entrepreneur as one of the “8 Business Books Entrepreneurs Must Read to Dominate Their Industry.” A former Silicon Valley sales director turned life coach, she has been featured on The Today Show, as well as in O Magazine, Business Insider, Forbes, Time, and Marie Claire. She lives in Miami, Florida with her husband Heath and their Yorkshire Terrier, Coconut. Find out more about her work at www.Susie-Moore.com.

Excerpted from the book Stop Checking Your Likes. Copyright ©2020 by Susie Moore. Printed with permission from New World Library.

My husband is police officer, and about eight months ago, he was assigned a new partner - an attractive single woman. (She got divorced about a year ago.) They work a late shift together, and spend a lot of time riding around in their patrol car. A few months ago, I started getting weird vibes about this situation. He is fond of her and tells me about these long, deep conversations they have. I was doing okay with it until I had a couple of run-ins with her, where she acted very different than she does when he is around. She made it quite clear to me that she is after my husband, and is pretty confident she's "winning" at this point. My feeling is that she might just win him in the short term, but later he would regret it. We have three kids and have had a good marriage. I'm very open with him and have told him all she's said to me, how I feel, etc., and he has a hard time believing it. I feel like he's gullible, she's conniving, and I may be in for a world of hurt if I don't handle this right. Since she's a cop, it's not like I can threaten to kick her butt! Any spiritual advice on how I can safeguard my marriage?

- Frannie

Dreamchaser:

First and foremost, Frannie, there is no spiritual trick to protecting your marriage. You said that you and your husband have a "good marriage." Happy men who are in love and have a "good marriage" do not have affairs.

I do feel that your husband is very close to his partner. However, people who are in partnership situations SHOULD develop a close bond. When I was a commercial diver, I was very close to my partner, who happened to be male. When he got involved in a serious relationship, I remained very close to him. His girlfriend often felt threatened by our bond, so I did what I could to alleviate her fears. I think that is the missing ingredient here with you - your husband's partner is doing nothing to alleviate your fears.

I don't want to in any way invalidate your feelings or undermine you. However, I don't feel that she did make it quite clear that she is after your husband and winning. Instead, you read that into her words and actions. When you told him what she was doing and he had a hard time believing it, it's because he knows you both. He knows how each of you think and act and how each of you talk, and he knows that she would never do such a thing.

Believe it or not, she is NOT after your husband. She considers him her best friend, and she can talk to him about everything. She can tell him anything. I think you should be grateful that she feels that way about him, because one day, he may just need her as back-up, and she may just save his life.

She is not the first woman that you thought was out to steal your husband. This has happened before, and he did not leave that time. He will not leave this time either.

I think the best thing you can do is just step up your "wifely" efforts. Be the best wife to him that you can be. Do not fake anything, and do not put on an act, but love him and be good to him and most of all, BELIEVE him. He is not looking to cheat on you or break up your marriage. He just has a great partnership with a new partner who happens to be a woman.

I also think that you need to look deep inside yourself to find out why you have these issues. I think a good place to start would be to buy a book called In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want by Iyanla Vanzant. It is a workbook of sorts, so you are going to have to have a pad and paper ready to answer some questions about yourself. In this way, you can get to the roots of your insecurities and heal them and leave them behind.

Your husband is a good man and a good provider, and he loves you very much. Be good to him and believe what he says to you.

I wish you a long and happy marriage.

*****

Astrea:

That girl may think she's going to take your husband, but she is sadly mistaken. He knows that she's lonely and on the make.

To him she is no different than any partner he's had before. If you think back on the other partners he's had over the years, you'll realize he had long intimate talks with them too. They were probably men, however, so you didn't notice as much.

Didn't he talk about his favorite rookie he trained with equal fondness? What about that old guy who trained HIM? Your husband is a loving, caring, compassionate guy, but he's not about to be victimized by this twit!

The spiritual way to handle this predatory female is to turn the matter over to his Guardian Angels. Ask St. Michael to ride with them every evening as he goes to work. Get him a piece of rodachrosite to carry in his right pants pocket for general protection.

Ask the Archangel Gabriel to enlighten his thoughts so that he can't be victimized by deception. Ask all four Archangels to quiet your mind and keep you from worrying about this so you won't manifest it in some way.

Here is some practical advice too. The next time your husband starts going on and on about this girl, ask him what the morals clause in their law enforcement contract says about officers becoming overly involved with each other. In my own experience, police departments don't like that kind of thing. Don't be accusatory, just curious.

Also, while you can't outright "kick her butt," you can let others know that you know what she's doing. Fortunately, the timing is right, for she's ready to move on to her next victim. She has met enough resistance from you to give up on your husband and go after someone else.

Your husband is in a profession where he is allowed to have TWO life partners: a wife (you) and his partner at work. This new one just flatters him, flirts with him and strokes his ego. As upsetting as this is to you right now, you're not in trouble with your marriage.

He tells you everything they talk about and everything she says. You may think he doesn't believe you, but he knows better! He knows that she's "on the hunt" for someone to replace her former husband, and he would never betray you in that way.

He may talk like he likes her, but you're not married to a cheater! You have a great marriage with three fabulous children, and he is not going to jeopardize that.

Listen to what he tells you about her, and let him talk about her as much as he needs to. It's always better to be informed than to be in the dark. She's done this before, and she'll do it again. She's just been passing through your lives, that's all.