KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Maria Shaw

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Mercury retrograde gets blamed for a lot things that go wrong in our lives. Does it deserve all the attention? What exactly is a Mercury retrograde?

For those of you who don't know about this astrological "happening," here's the lowdown in layman's terms: The planet Mercury rules communication, travel, contracts, automobiles, and such. It goes in a retrograde motion—or motion that makes it appear to be going backwards in the night sky—three times a year for approximately three weeks at a time. When Mercury is retrograde, there's usually much confusion. People forget little things. Delays and frustrations abound.

Astrologers recommend against starting anything new when Mercury goes retrograde. But even if you can't begin new endeavors, you can still put this aspect to good use. You just need to learn to work with the energy of Mercury rather than against it. Let's explore the pros and cons of this cosmic force and how to wait out this period until Mercury goes forward or "direct."

There's a "wind up" period about two weeks before Mercury goes retrograde. During this time, you should finish business at hand. When Mercury does go retrograde, make sure you have all of your current projects finished.

I have a few Mercury retrograde stories of my own to share.

I owned a rental house that I needed to rent ASAP. It was costing me money to leave it vacant, and I was eager to get someone moved in. My Realtor did background checks on all of the rental applicants and found some folks that I thought would be the perfect renters. I knew I should never sign contracts on a retrograde, but was impatient. I didn't want to wait a month to sign a lease when Mercury went direct.

The couple signed a year's lease, so I kept my fingers crossed. The following month, the rent was late. A few months later, they trashed the place, placed bills illegally in my name, moved out without notice, and filed for bankruptcy.

Years ago, I wanted to buy a home and made an offer on a house during a Mercury retrograde in June. The offer was declined. I asked for a counter-offer and never heard back. Realtors couldn't find the owners. There was a lot of miscommunication. The sellers had left state to vacation for a few weeks. It took until October to get a response. The response was a "yes&" ... but it only came after re-writing the original offer three times!

My friend and astrologer Cindy should have known better. She started a new job on the first day Mercury went retrograde. She asked how I felt the job would go. "You won't stay there," I told her. "It's a Mercury retrograde." The next day she broke her thumb and had to quit! This same friend had a lot of nerve tempting fate. She went out and bought a new car on another retrograde. It broke down on the drive home from the dealer's. It stayed parked at the dealership until Mercury went direct, waiting for a part.

Now, you can't stop your life just because a Mercury retrograde hits. There's always something you can't avoid or put off. But if you have time to plan ahead, do so; you'll save yourself a lot of headaches. Since Mercury also rules travel and trips, it is not a good time to travel unless you have backup plans in place. Expect delays, double-check accommodations, and check everything.

One year I booked a cruise for my husband's birthday. It wasn't a Mercury retrograde when I booked the trip, but the ship was set to sail during one. We went to the airport to fly to out, and the gate agent told us our trip was canceled. The ship had caught on fire! We drove to Canada instead for a quick getaway. Our trip was cut short when relatives called and told us to hurry home; there had been an emergency in the family!

Sometimes, even when you plan ahead, Mercury retrogrades can get the best of you! Once my friends and I were heading to the airport to catch a flight. I told Sherry to meet me at my house a half hour earlier than usual so we wouldn't be late. She left her house early, but missed the turn to my road and went thirty minutes out of her way! Once she picked me up and we made it to the freeway, there was a six-mile traffic back-up due to road construction. We made it through that, but because we started late we ended up in Detroit's morning rush hour traffic and were delayed again. I was doing ninety miles an hour to get to the airport, and it looked like we'd actually make the flight. Then the tire on my car blew! Luckily someone stopped to help, but we were about seven minutes late getting to the gate and had to take a later flight. Three hours later, we boarded a plane scheduled to leave on time. A worker had left some machinery sitting in front of our plane while he went to lunch. No one could locate him and our flight was stuck until he came back!

What Not To Do During Mercury Retrograde
DON'T:

• Start anything new
• Make important decisions
• Buy computers, appliances, TVs, radios, etc.
• Travel without back-up plans
• Sign contracts
• Buy a car
• Negotiate a contract
• File a lawsuit
• Start a new job
• Begin a new class
• Go on a "first" date
• Expect things to move quickly
• Take anything for granted

WHAT TO EXPECT

• Angrier people
• Crazy drivers
• More accidents
• Miscommunication
• Quarrels
• Computer problems and breakdowns
• Delays
• More mistakes
• Slow mail
• Games of phone tag
• Wrong directions
• Missed appointments
• Dead cell phone batteries

What's Mercury Retrograde Good For?
If you know when Mercury retrograde hits—which is about every three months—you can work with, rather than against, its energy. Remember there's a "re" in retrograde. These weeks are good for re-doing just about anything.

DO:

• Re-apply for a job
• Re-do hair color
• Re-write your resume
• Review your bank account
• Renew a loan
• Repair your car
• Re-contact past clients
• Research

Catch up on all of the tasks you set aside, and also have a game-plan in place for when Mercury goes direct.

The Mercury retrograde is also a time to reflect on what you've accomplished and where you want to redirect your energies. There's that "re" again! We all need time to review and decide if we're taking the right road. These days give us the opportunity to do so.

We can't stop our lives every time a retrograde hits. So what can you do when you don't have a choice?

• Read and re-read contracts. Have someone else look them over, too.
• Check your travel plans several times.
• If you need to, ask questions over and over during negotiations.
• ail packages and letters early. Check the zip codes.
• Fill your gas tank.
• Don't check your luggage if you're flying. Carry on everything if possible.
• If you are making purchases, keep your sales receipt and know the store's return policy.
• Keep your cell phone battery charged.
• Watch your driving.

There are people who never seem to be affected during Mercury retrogrades. Chances are they were born during one! Millions of people are. How do these weeks affect them? Well, Mercury retrograde babies thrive. Things appear easier for them and run smoothly. They get the new job, start building the new house, and travel to fun-filled destinations. If you're one of these people, you'll have the edge on everyone else! How do you find out? Your astrology chart will indicate if Mercury was retrograde when you were born.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2004. All rights reserved.

I feel like I'm always hitting walls in my relationships, and I can't figure out what's going on. I try to manifest harmony but it just doesn't work. I listen to my own inner knowing, but my spouse and coworkers are always butting heads with me, which causes a lot of frustration. Sometimes I believe I'm just supposed to be alone in my life. I'm not difficult by nature, but my family members and my husbands have always gone against me and tried to make me feel that I'm not okay. Am I missing something? Is there something I'm not seeing besides that they're not okay? Should I be approaching people differently? I deliver my words with clarity and love, only to be thwarted by their anger and resistance. Then I'm told it's my fault! I don't know what to do. I am a lightworker who needs help, and I'm not sure where to look for it. Am I somehow creating all this discord?

 - Anne

Astrea:

Don't feel that you're the only person with these issues. Even a lightworker can't make others behave the way she wants them to all the time. After all, you're only human! Lightworkers can get very frustrated even when they're working in an enlightened atmosphere. For much of the time, things don't go the way we want them to.

In order to manifest harmony in others, we would have to be those others.  Harmony comes to those who seek it. You can control your own thoughts, perceptions and feelings, but not those of other people.

If we meet others in peaceful harmony, that harmony comes back to us. You're obviously around people who want to argue with you and judge you. You don't cause these problems, but you do feed others' disrespectful behavior toward you.

If the people at your job keep arguing with you, it's probably time to look for a more pleasant situation. Outside of our own families, we can largely choose the people we let into our lives. I know it's easier said than done, but if you can trust in your ability to manifest a great new job, it will happen.

While Capricorns with your birthday can be opinionated, they are rarely unreasonable. If people are fighting you just for the drama, it's time to change that for you. Getting your family to cooperate and breaking established patterns isn't easy, of course. You've taught these people that you can be talked out of ideas and controlled, so now they expect you to always acquiesce to what they want.

The way to turn that around is to stop letting them tell you what to do. Find the courage to say no to them when you're sure they're on the wrong track. It will be difficult at first, but they'll get used to it if you're consistent.

Also, remember that we all have valid answers and solutions, for no two people perceive the same thing the same way. Forcing people to do what we want is impossible, and it wastes our energy to keep that up all the time. Find a way to be in harmony with your surroundings.

Sometimes we need time to plan and reflect. Capricorns don't take personal time alone very often, and as a result, they wind up feeling tired and frustrated. Stand back and observe what's really happening around you and then change what you can. Let the rest go and go with the flow.

*****

 Susyn:

I'm sorry for the difficulties you're going through in your personal relationships. It's always been my experience that our struggles are designed to challenge us and move us to a better place.

Sometimes it can be hard to determine if a problem is yours or someone else's, but if something is in your experience, it's there for a good reason. In this case, it sounds as if you're the common denominator.

From your letter, it also sounds like you may be trying too hard in your relationships. You may notice that the more discord that arises in these situations, the greater your tendency to try and counteract or take care of things becomes.

As confusing as it may sound, there are people who will resent your offers of help. Some will interpret your efforts as attempts to control their actions, while others will resist because they don't really want to succeed or don't want to be held responsible should they fail.

From a spiritual perspective, problems that occur repeatedly are often a sign that it's time for a change. Of course, the quickest way to change other people's actions or responses is to change your own. This may seem almost too simple, but I promise you that if you change just one element about yourself, you will see immediate change in other people's reactions to you.

As an example, if you are the one who is always taking charge or giving directions, try listening instead. By holding your tongue and simply giving them your full attention, they will immediately notice a change in you, and in turn, they will respond differently.

If you're the person everyone seeks out for advice or direction, try responding with something like, I'm not sure or I don't know, maybe you can ask so and so.

In short, you can create the harmony you seek by reclaiming your own inner power and calm center. The fastest way to accomplish that is to hold back and let others reach out to you. These practices may seem to make little sense, but you'll see the effects immediately when people begin to respond to you differently.

Although it may feel unfair that you're the one who has to change, your willingness to try will enable you to restore these relationships to a more balanced state. It will also clear your own heart and spirit, enhance your qualities as a good partner and friend, and boost your power and energy as a lightworker.