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Hoarding to Fill Emptiness: How to Tell if Spiritual Lack Is Causing Clutter Accumulation, by Alexandra Chauran

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

When I was in my early twenties, my life was as a pile of unsorted mementos. Fresh out of my parents' home and merging my childhood and young adult belongings with those of my boyfriend at the time was absolute chaos. I also struggled with the direction my life was headed, in both practical and emotional ways. When I took these burdens to a therapist, I opened up to her about all of my heart's desires. I wanted it all: A prosperous and prestigious career, a family with children of my own, a marriage from the story books, mementos from my childhood, a fabulous home furnished with lavish belongings, and more. I thought that if I could just get one or more of these things, I would be happy again. Then, my therapist told me to seek more of something that I already had, something that wasn't on the ambitious "to-do" list I'd just given her.

My therapist asked me how my spiritual life was going. I stopped and thought. At the time, I thought that my spiritual life was okay. I had fellowship with spiritual peers. I was seeking and learning all the time. But it occurred to me that I wasn't devoting my time and efforts to spiritual pursuits as much as all those other practical woes. My therapist noted almost as an afterthought that spirituality is all that really matters in the end, and that people are often unhappy after they achieve those things I was seeking, like a family and a career, because they're still trying to fill that "God-shaped hole."

We all know that there are unsatisfied people who would seem to have all the wealth that anyone could ever need. The words from my therapist percolated in my brain. I read the writings of the Peace Pilgrim, who renounced her worldly possessions to carry a joyful message for God. I listened to the words of Amma the "Hugging Saint" from India, where she spoke of finding the joyful and spiritually satisfied amongst even the impoverished. The reason that I was having all of these first world problems was because I wasn't giving proper weight and value to my spiritual needs.

Now, this isn't to say that spiritual lack is what's wrong with everybody who lives in a cluttered or hoarded home, or who is dissatisfied with life circumstances. It's okay to look around at life and say, "Hey, this sucks!" I observe that there are some people who are naturally more spiritually hungry than others. Some might live their entire lives satisfied as atheists or agnostics, while you might feel a constant yearning to discover the mysteries of the universe and the divine. Or, you might have run into a spiritual awakening later in life that threw you for a loop. If you feel a calling and ignore that call for whatever reason, you'll subconsciously continue to attempt to fill that void. In our culture, that sometimes means filling your home, office, and car with stuff.

Here are some signs that you or a loved one might exhibit that indicate a physical or mental clutter problem caused by spiritual lack.

• You believe that objects have energies to which you can cling for comfort during times of need.
• When you are stressed, your calendar is still full of obligations, and you find yourself adding more.
• Loved ones reach out to you to try to help you clean or organize your house, or refuse to come over due to the clutter.
• When one thing in life is going wrong it feels like everything is going wrong.
• When you try to get rid of things you no longer need, you move them to other areas of the home instead of actually throwing them away.
• You believe that you need to keep objects that were once owned by the deceased in order to keep their memory alive.
• Your computer is full of electronic clutter, with unsorted photos clogging up all the space and your email Inbox kept full of reminders of things you intend to someday do.
• Self-doubt and low self-esteem keep you from doing the things that you want.
• Every time you clear the clutter in your life, you end up filling up those spaces with clutter all over again.

If these characteristics sound like you and you're also a spiritually hungry person, it's possible that you are trying to quench the yearning for spirituality with physical things and a busy life. Make no mistake, there can be other factors at play here. If you have a true hoarding condition, you may have psychological and emotional issues that can't be solved by any prayer or worship group. If your hoarding is affecting your health and safety or making you unable to function in everyday life, you'll need to talk with a doctor and therapist about brain chemistry and coping skill issues that may be in play.

If, however, you're otherwise healthy and suspect that a neglected spiritual life is part of your problem, this can be remedied with careful attention to your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Think of these as the three legs of a stool. You'll need to carefully nurture these things in balance. This may seem counter-intuitive, if clearing out all the clutter seems like the most pressing need. But remember that if you don't fill the void with something intangible and more meaningful, you'll just fill those spaces right back up again with stuff. So, examine your barriers to spirituality in your life. It's possible that you're being prevented from following the spiritual path that meets your expectations. However, nobody else holds dominion over the inner workings of your heart and soul. Once I discovered how to integrate spirituality into my everyday life and even household chores, the order of the rest of my life seemed to just fall into place. I pray for the same success for you and for any of your loved ones who may struggle with accumulated clutter. I encourage you to address the lack, rather than simply the over-abundance, then allow your life and your excesses to become a blessing to others and an offering to Spirit.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2015. All rights reserved.

My fiance is constantly having nightmares about fighting demons and monsters. He wakes up all over the room and house. He is a sleepwalker who regularly dreams about white snakes biting him and spiders on the ceiling, but under stress, he fights all kinds of evil beings. Should I be worried? What can we do to help him? Thanks!

- Susie

Dreamchaser:

You absolutely should NOT be worried about your fiance.

There are a couple of things going on here. The first and most obvious is that he keeps a lot of stress locked up inside of him during his normal waking hours, and when he sleeps, he works through all that stress. This is actually very healthy in terms of his mental, emotional and spiritual well-being.

Another thing happening here relates to his past lives. He is not only remembering them - he is re-living them in his dreams. The "monsters" and "demons" are really memories of skirmishes from past lives when he was a warrior, knight, soldier, etc. When he gets stressed, he re-visits those lives in his dreams. As he fights and relives those battles, he releases a lot of stress.

In Asian mythology, white snakes were considered lucky. He has had a number of past lives in China and Japan, and on a soul level, he still has these associations with white snakes. It's likely that the white snakes around him in these dreams are protecting him and bringing him luck. The snakes are teaching him to use his creative powers, to explore some mysteries in life, and to travel between the two worlds (waking and sleeping), amongst other things.

The spiders are allowing him to balance his masculine and feminine energy while he is sleeping. Spiders teach us how to use our feminine energy as a creative force. Since he is such a "manly man," he doesn't allow his feminine side to come out often. The spiders are also bringing him divine inspiration; he wakes up with a lot more soul knowledge than when he went to sleep.

I imagine it is really scary to sleep next to someone who has crazy dreams, acts them out and sleepwalks. I am like your fiancÈ. I am the one who sleepwalks and acts out in my sleep. I know I freak out everyone around me. I work through a lot of stuff in my dreams, so I know your man is doing the same.

Please reassure him that he is normal and that he does not have some type of psychological issue. He is just buttoned up so tight in his waking hours that he does not allow much spiritual knowledge to enter his consciousness while awake, so Spirit teaches him when he's dreaming.

He is NOT crazy and has nothing to fear. I bet that he feels better when he wakes up in the morning after one of these dreams, or at least better than he does after nights when he doesn't seem to dream at all.

I wish you both peaceful nights.

*****

Astrea:

The word "mare" is Old English for "demon." In the old days, people believed that troubled sleep was caused by a demon who rode you like a horse while you were asleep. The terrible things you dreamed were the experiences from that ride.

Is your fiance a Libra? They seem to be plagued more than the rest of us with those kinds of night terrors.

There are lots of good remedies for this kind of thing. Here are a few:

One of the easiest ways to protect your fiance from nightmares is to have him find a shell or a stone with a hole through the center. This is a natural holy (holey?) stone. Thread a red string through the hole and hang it on your bed.

Say this together, out loud: "We lay us here to sleep. No nightmares shall plague me until they swim the waters that flow upon the earth and count all the stars that appear in the firmament!"

Another is to have your fiance place his shoes under the bed on the south side, one facing one way, one facing the other. This will keep monsters from "entering" his dreams, because the directions of the shoes confuse them. It will also cut down on the sleepwalking, because if he tries to get up, his feet won't know which direction to take.

For more protection, take three nine-yard pieces of blue yarn. Have him braid the yarn and say at each plait: "Triple headed hag, protect me from phantasmagorical harm. MARES! Ride and scare ELSEWHERE!"

Then place a twig of rosemary and seven dried chamomile flowers in a little pouch. Wrap your yarn around the top of the pouch. (It'll be a big lump when you're done). Refresh once a month, and replace the contents of the pouch.

The oldest and the stinkiest remedy (and sometimes these work best) is to take an onion and cut it in half. Release it and pick up the side that lands cut side up. Pull your bed away from the wall and walk clockwise around your bed, stopping at each corner.

Hold the cut onion over the corner with the cut side facing up. You might also wrap the bottom of the onion in Saran Wrap and let it come up the sides, so it's still stinky but doesn't drip on your bed or your floor. Then at each corner say, "Dragon North, Dragon South, Dragon East, Dragon West, Sweet Dreams on the Dragon's Breast!" When you finish, go to the center of the head of the bed and inscribe a cross with a circle around it.

I hope these easy rituals help you BOTH get more restful sleep. GOOD LUCK!