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    • How to Find Your Sparkle: Five Unicorn-Inspired Tips

      by Angela A. Wix

      (Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

      "I saw this and it made me think of you," a friend said a year ago, handing me a cheery ceramic unicorn in the shape of a mini flower pot. A succulent was growing like a mane across its back. Along its side were the words, "Don't let anyone ever dull your sparkle." She wasn't aware of it at the time, but I'd just started writing Llewellyn's Little Book of Unicorns, and the synchronicity couldn't have been more perfect; this succinct message was the very heart of the book.

      Unicorns are said to be courageous, fierce, and wild while also being gentle, compassionate, harmonious, and full of grace. They're passionate about themselves and the happiness of those around them. They're a symbol for standing out in all your uniqueness and being loved as your authentic self.

      Sometimes we lose track of that authentic piece of ourselves, though. We grow up hearing subliminal (or even very direct) messages that tell us it's not okay to be who we really are, and we end up hiding our true selves away. Often we hide ourselves so well that we forget things we love and what makes us feel fully alive.

      I remember when I first started dating my husband he would ask what I wanted to do and I would say that whatever he was interested in was fine. "But what do you like doing?" he asked in frustration one day. I stopped in my tracks, lost as to what my answer was. What did I like? Somewhere along the way I'd lost myself so much that I couldn't even respond to the seemingly simple question of what made me happy. It would take another twenty years and a dive into the world of unicorns before I could really figure it out.

      What makes you shine? What brings you exuberant joy? If you've lost sight of those things, it's time to take a cue from our unicorn friends and find your sparkle. Here are five tips to get your started.

      Tip #1: Find What's Blocking You
      Write down the top blocks that may be holding you back from a more joyful experience. Try to think of things on which you're spending your time that don't really inspire you. These are areas where you can stop devoting your attention in order to make more time for things you're actually passionate about. Some examples include watching too much tv, spending time with people who deplete energy, or overworking and not allowing yourself enough rejuvenating down time. Like skimming through the closet to declutter your clothes, if you search hard enough you're likely to come up with at least a few ideas for where you can create space for things that make you feel inspired and alive.

      Tip #2: Embrace Being Playful
      No matter your age, playing is important, and breathes new life into the humdrum of everyday. Too often, as adults we get caught in our daily patterns: wake, get ready for the day, work, traffic, errands, home-tasks, bed. We need a reminder to shake things up and figure out how to insert playfulness into everyday schedules. Whatever these playful activities might be, they should get you really excited and leave you smiling. Maybe you decide to write one daily poem, so that throughout the day you're watching for inspiration worth writing about. Or maybe you decide to dust off your bike and take a ride on your favorite nature path every few days. One of my "embracing play" items was pulling out a giant sticker book I had as a kid and consistently adding to the collection. There are so many possibilities!

      Tip #3: Figure Out Where Your Sparkle is Stuck
      Usually there's a key time period where we've left our sparkle, and we need to return to that source. For many this ends up being some point in childhood. The good thing is that we can go back and reclaim those things that we've left behind. The bad thing is that this can be a challenge to pin down! Luckily, there are certain things to which we can pay attention that will help clue us into our joyful treasures. These include:

      • Gifts we give others. We often end up giving away the things we love most, thinking that if we can't enjoy it then someone should. Is it puzzles, coloring books, board games, or bouquets of flowers? See if some of the things you're gifting away are things you should be sharing with yourself, as well.
      • Things we find nostalgic. What makes you fawn over the past? Write a list of things you especially loved doing in years past and pick at least one item to bring back into your present!
      • Our wants and desires. Be mindful of when you feel that pull within you saying, "I would really love to do/be/experience/have xyz." We often get in a pattern of denying ourselves, but within these wants and desires you might realize things that will set your sparkle meter to full-on shine.

      Tip #4: Look Into the Darkness in Order to Really Shine
      Unicorns are the elusive keepers of the dark forest. To move through our own shadowy experiences and find our way back in the light, we may need to rebuild trust in ourselves, others, and life itself before we're able to appreciate the opportunities for joy in our lives. Things that can help support your journey through the forest include:

      • Talking with a friend, loved one, or professional therapist. Seek out the unicorn-people in your life. Look for those you're inspired by and find support when you need it. There's no reason to go it alone through dark times.
      • Practicing nurturing self-care through things like balanced nutrition, a type of exercise you enjoy, getting enough sleep, work-life balance, and positive social interaction. Maybe this means reading before bed, taking a walk with a friend, or getting a monthly massage.
      • Allowing yourself to play. When you're in darkness, the idea of "play" may feel like hollow action, but just try it. There's a practice called Laughter Yoga that can feel silly and false at first, but after a while of "fake laughing," the body thinks it's real and sends out feel-good hormones along with creating new positive neuropathways in the brain. Our physiology can follow intention and action. Pull out a coloring book, put together a puzzle, drive around a remote-controlled car, or dance around the room with your dog. You may be surprised with what a boost play ends up being for you.

      Tip #5: Add Extra Glitter
      Intentionally act to add in extra glitter to your life. This is like laying down a trail to lead magic your way. There are endless things you can try to increase your level of happiness. Some ideas include:

      • Spending time with animals
      • Engaging in creative activity
      • Social connection and community
      • Getting out in nature
      • Practicing acts of kindness
      • Consciously looking for beauty as you go about your days
      • Intentionally seeking out pleasurable and fun activities
      • Feeding whatever fills you with meaning or purpose
      • Attending to a practice that makes you feel spiritually connected

      The world needs you for all the goodness and glitter that you are. Follow this unicorn-inspired wisdom to rediscover wonder and happiness. My hope is that these tips will lead you to a place of authentic joy and all the things that make you shine!

      Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

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    • Double Vision: I'm Afraid to Sleep Alone
      DV dreams42-24127431

      My husband passed away about four months ago after 35 years of marriage. For the first time in a very long time, I have to sleep alone in my house, and it’s freaking me out! I’m now wondering if there is a spiritual or metaphysical reason that people feel safer sleeping with other people around. Is it more than physical instinct? Are we actually safer from things like astral entities and other spooky stuff if we’re not alone?

      – Norma

      Dreamchaser:

      I am truly sorry for your loss. I can tell you that your husband is happy on the Otherside. He also wants you to know that you are NOT alone.

      You may feel like you’re on your own now, but you’re not. Not only does he come around and look out for you, you also have a guardian angel, a main human spirit guide, a main animal spirit guide, teaching guides of all kinds, and all sorts of angels and other spiritual beings around you.

      You are FAR from alone. You just FEEL alone because you are the only living human in the house.

      You are no more vulnerable to astral entities or other spooky stuff when you are alone than when you are in a stadium full of people – your mind just has more space to roam free when you are physically alone, and your imagination can get the best of you.

      You always felt safe beside your husband. That dynamic has existed between women and men throughout history. Now that your husband is gone, I think it’s natural for you to feel a bit alone and vulnerable.

      If something from the Otherside wanted to get you, you would already have been gotten. It wouldn’t matter who was around to protect you.

      You are not in any danger of any kind, however – nothing from the Otherside can hurt you, Norma. You are protected by God first, and then by all of God’s helpers. You have nothing to fear in your own home.

      If you really want to feel sure, why don’t you just sage your house? Go buy loose sage that you can put in a bowl or a sage bundle. Start at the top of the house and work your way into every corner of every room and closet. Make sure the smoke gets into every corner as you work your way down to the bottom of the house.

      Once the entire house is cleansed, you can pour a line of table salt outside your doors. This will protect you from anything negative that wants to come into the house. If you do this, you can rest assured that there is nothing scary or negative anywhere in your house.

      You can also say a prayer for protection before you go to sleep every night. When you get scared, say out loud, If you are not here from Love, Light and the One God, I command you in the name of the One God to leave this place immediately. This works, for it reflects another Universal law: Anything that is negative MUST leave if you command it to in the name of God. (You can use whatever terminology works best for you.)

      I wish you a good night’s sleep.

      *****

      Astrea:

      Sleeping alone after that many years of marriage is going to feel strange for at least a calendar year. You see, after a while, our loved ones in Spirit learn how to come to us and keep us company when we’re lonely.

      There are tons of different protection spells for sleeping alone and keeping the badun’s away. If you want to be lazy, you can probably buy a protection spell from jour local Bruja or Healer. Depending on your location, you can also find many items of protection for sale to the public.

      If you’re concerned enough to think you’re in some kind of psychic danger in bed, and you’re not familiar with how to protect yourself in a mystical way, by all means, seek the help of an expert.

      There are also many do-it-yourself rituals for psychic protection. Probably the easiest is to put a small rose quartz between your mattress and box springs. Place it towards the foot of the bed so you don’t feel a lump, which wouldn’t be very conducive to a good night’s rest!

      In Mexico, widows place a small piece of fine silver at the right corner of the head of the bed. This absorbs any negativity in the room and keeps the critters away, but it doesn’t prevent departed loved ones from visiting. Fine silver is purer than sterling, and can be found in many silver items that are made outside the U.S.

      A silver spoon won’t do because of all the alloys that are added to make silverware more durable. Fine silver is extremely soft and will warm quickly to the touch. Some jewelers carry silver wire – a jewelry supply store would have just what you need.

      For nightmares, there is always the old trick of putting your shoes under the bed facing opposite directions. This confuses roaming spirits; they can’t find you when your shoes are placed that way.

      It IS easier to NOTICE spirits and other night beings when we’re alone and not distracted by another person’s energy, but I don’t feel that being by yourself makes you any more of a target than you’ve ever been. Given the big change in your life, you just feel more vulnerable in general these days.

      Nothing that you do to protect yourself will prevent your husband from visiting, so you might ask him to come to you in your dreams. Just be sure to give him plenty of time before you ask. At the moment, he’s resting up from a life well-lived, and he doesn’t know how to reach out to you yet.

      Please know that I am so sorry for your loss, and remember that we will all be reunited in the One someday. Try to wait as patiently as you can, because you still have a lot to do here on Earth.

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