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Hoarding to Fill Emptiness: How to Tell if Spiritual Lack Is Causing Clutter Accumulation, by Alexandra Chauran

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

When I was in my early twenties, my life was as a pile of unsorted mementos. Fresh out of my parents' home and merging my childhood and young adult belongings with those of my boyfriend at the time was absolute chaos. I also struggled with the direction my life was headed, in both practical and emotional ways. When I took these burdens to a therapist, I opened up to her about all of my heart's desires. I wanted it all: A prosperous and prestigious career, a family with children of my own, a marriage from the story books, mementos from my childhood, a fabulous home furnished with lavish belongings, and more. I thought that if I could just get one or more of these things, I would be happy again. Then, my therapist told me to seek more of something that I already had, something that wasn't on the ambitious "to-do" list I'd just given her.

My therapist asked me how my spiritual life was going. I stopped and thought. At the time, I thought that my spiritual life was okay. I had fellowship with spiritual peers. I was seeking and learning all the time. But it occurred to me that I wasn't devoting my time and efforts to spiritual pursuits as much as all those other practical woes. My therapist noted almost as an afterthought that spirituality is all that really matters in the end, and that people are often unhappy after they achieve those things I was seeking, like a family and a career, because they're still trying to fill that "God-shaped hole."

We all know that there are unsatisfied people who would seem to have all the wealth that anyone could ever need. The words from my therapist percolated in my brain. I read the writings of the Peace Pilgrim, who renounced her worldly possessions to carry a joyful message for God. I listened to the words of Amma the "Hugging Saint" from India, where she spoke of finding the joyful and spiritually satisfied amongst even the impoverished. The reason that I was having all of these first world problems was because I wasn't giving proper weight and value to my spiritual needs.

Now, this isn't to say that spiritual lack is what's wrong with everybody who lives in a cluttered or hoarded home, or who is dissatisfied with life circumstances. It's okay to look around at life and say, "Hey, this sucks!" I observe that there are some people who are naturally more spiritually hungry than others. Some might live their entire lives satisfied as atheists or agnostics, while you might feel a constant yearning to discover the mysteries of the universe and the divine. Or, you might have run into a spiritual awakening later in life that threw you for a loop. If you feel a calling and ignore that call for whatever reason, you'll subconsciously continue to attempt to fill that void. In our culture, that sometimes means filling your home, office, and car with stuff.

Here are some signs that you or a loved one might exhibit that indicate a physical or mental clutter problem caused by spiritual lack.

• You believe that objects have energies to which you can cling for comfort during times of need.
• When you are stressed, your calendar is still full of obligations, and you find yourself adding more.
• Loved ones reach out to you to try to help you clean or organize your house, or refuse to come over due to the clutter.
• When one thing in life is going wrong it feels like everything is going wrong.
• When you try to get rid of things you no longer need, you move them to other areas of the home instead of actually throwing them away.
• You believe that you need to keep objects that were once owned by the deceased in order to keep their memory alive.
• Your computer is full of electronic clutter, with unsorted photos clogging up all the space and your email Inbox kept full of reminders of things you intend to someday do.
• Self-doubt and low self-esteem keep you from doing the things that you want.
• Every time you clear the clutter in your life, you end up filling up those spaces with clutter all over again.

If these characteristics sound like you and you're also a spiritually hungry person, it's possible that you are trying to quench the yearning for spirituality with physical things and a busy life. Make no mistake, there can be other factors at play here. If you have a true hoarding condition, you may have psychological and emotional issues that can't be solved by any prayer or worship group. If your hoarding is affecting your health and safety or making you unable to function in everyday life, you'll need to talk with a doctor and therapist about brain chemistry and coping skill issues that may be in play.

If, however, you're otherwise healthy and suspect that a neglected spiritual life is part of your problem, this can be remedied with careful attention to your physical, mental, and spiritual health. Think of these as the three legs of a stool. You'll need to carefully nurture these things in balance. This may seem counter-intuitive, if clearing out all the clutter seems like the most pressing need. But remember that if you don't fill the void with something intangible and more meaningful, you'll just fill those spaces right back up again with stuff. So, examine your barriers to spirituality in your life. It's possible that you're being prevented from following the spiritual path that meets your expectations. However, nobody else holds dominion over the inner workings of your heart and soul. Once I discovered how to integrate spirituality into my everyday life and even household chores, the order of the rest of my life seemed to just fall into place. I pray for the same success for you and for any of your loved ones who may struggle with accumulated clutter. I encourage you to address the lack, rather than simply the over-abundance, then allow your life and your excesses to become a blessing to others and an offering to Spirit.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2015. All rights reserved.

I can't seem to meditate, but I would love to learn. I have an extremely busy home with six children, and I also take care of an ill mother-in-law. I've tried a hot bath to relax, and I've tried listening to music, but it doesn't help - I always get interrupted. I would really like to get in touch with the spirit world as my Native American ancestors did. Do you have any advice on how to start meditating for people like me? Thank you so much!

- Gert

Dreamchaser:

I can so relate to your "crazy world" way of living. I think anyone with children and responsibilities can understand. Here are some tips that may help you.

The first thing I highly recommend is an audio set called "The Inner Art of Meditation" by Jack Kornfield. It is for beginners, and it is VERY easy to understand. In the first part he explains all the history behind meditation, etc., and some people find this extremely boring. Once you get to the first exercise, however, it will move along quickly.

This audio program is very helpful, for he teaches you exactly what to do. If you can find 30 minutes after all the kids go to bed and it's quiet, then you can complete this audio set.

Meditation is not the only way to get in touch with the spiritual world, however. You could try just sitting in nature. I know that your Native American ancestors did that, and I know that being in nature is how I "meditate." I go and sit and listen to the wind, watch the birds, trees, grass and the sky. I watch water and fire and anything else that is around me in nature. It has a hypnotic power over me, and I can get lulled into the beauty of it all.

When I am "in tune" with all that is, I hear messages from Spirit. Nature is a quick spiritual fix for me. It brings me back to center. It makes me feel that I am part of all that is. It allows me to hear the voices of guides, angels and other beings that want to speak with me.

It worked the same way with your ancestors. If you put your hand on the ground, you can feel the energy coming up from the earth. THAT is what your ancestors used to find Spirit.

You might ask yourself what you're really seeking through meditation. You also might ask yourself what you want to have happen WHILE meditating. Make sure that you are not stuck in the belief that meditation will calm your entire being and make your day go smoothly. It can help, but you have to do the rest. I guess I am saying that meditation is not a "cure-all" or a tool for instant enlightenment, so stay open to other spiritual practices.

I also think that you need to set a new precedent in your house. If you give and give and give and do not recharge your own batteries, you will wind up empty and sick. You need to set aside some time for you, when no one is allowed to disturb you for any reason. Or you might set up the "Blue or Red Rule": If someone is turning blue or if there is blood or fire, then they can disturb you!

You have to take time for YOU to be a whole human. I wish you a total blending with All That Is.

*****

Astrea:

Many busy people find it quite difficult to meditate. While all the "ladies" magazines tell us we just have to "carve out some time for ourselves" or "lock ourselves in the bathroom" or call a "Mommy time-out," sometimes those things aren't very practical. The only way you're going to find time to meditate undisturbed is to get up in the middle of the night when everyone else is sleeping, and that would probably leave you exhausted.

My best suggestion for you is to find a belly dancing class. If you have older daughters, they can go with you. Yes girls, I know I pimp this idea to you every chance I get, but if you've never tried it, you really can't imagine all the benefits of dancing.

Belly dancing is woman-centered: it was created by women FOR women over 2000 years ago. While meditation quiets the mind in STILLNESS, Belly Dancing takes active people away to a different dimension.

It's easy to do as well. A good side effect is toning and weight loss, but the BEST one is the sisterhood that develops in the "family" you'll build there. Throughout many cultures around the world, women have developed similar dances. Ancient cultures supported the relationships that women find through moving in unison together. One of my long dead teachers was ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that by now, American men and women would find their Dance Center.

Your own Native American heritage promoted women dancing together too, but let's face it, in most small towns and cities in America, that type of folk dance class is difficult to find. ALL folk dances have common movements and themes, however, and belly dancing will release your Spirit in the same way. One difference with belly dancing is that you get to wear a pretty outfit. (I highly recommend Ebay for finding that!) From color to style, costuming can be another delightful, liberating experience.

"Oh, but Astrea, I don't have time or money for classes." NONSENSE! I'm talking about one hour a WEEK! Your big family can take care of each other for THAT LONG. If you honestly can't afford it, look at the YMCA or the parks and recreation department in your town for affordable options.

Also, dance teachers are understanding folks - perhaps you have a useful skill like sewing or beading that would be more useful than cash to your teacher. Sewing and beading are also forms of meditation for busy people. There's a side benefit of dancing right THERE!

You're already moving through space on an hourly basis for everyone ELSE - I think it's time you start moving a little bit for yourself!