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by Steve Taylor, author of many books on spirituality and psychology including 
The Clear Light, The Leap, and The Calm Center

In general, there are three different modes in which we can live our lives: doing, thinking and being. Most of the day we’re busy doing – working in our jobs, doing chores, following our hobbies and enjoying ourselves in our free time. Thinking usually takes place between activities, when there’s nothing to occupy our attention, or during activities which are more repetitive and undemanding, when we don’t need to concentrate too much.

And being? Most people don’t spend much time being. Being occurs when we're relatively inactive and relaxing. It’s when our minds aren’t chattering away with thoughts, and when we aren’t concentrating our attention on tasks or activities. In this mode, we usually pay a lot of our attention to our surroundings, and to our own experience. We’re in this mode when we go for a leisurely walk, do sports such as swimming or running, meditate, do yoga or listen to music.

Of these three modes, our culture prizes the first two far above the third. Doing and thinking are seen as the engines of achievement. Thinking logically enables us to solve problems and come up with ideas. If we have a problem, we sit down and think it through. And doing – working and being busy – enables us to achieve our goals, to be productive, to make money and become successful.

But being is unproductive. It equates with laziness, and wasted time. Why waste our precious hours doing nothing when we could be filling them with activity and achievement?

The Benefits of Being

But this is misleading. Even in terms of achievement, relaxing and ‘doing nothing’ can be extremely beneficial. States of being and inactivity allow the creative potentials of the mind to manifest themselves. They allow insights and inspirations to flow. As I say in one of the pieces in The Clear Light:

I love the days of not needing
to be anywhere but now.
I love the days of not being productive
that become the most productive of all.
I love the days of doing nothing
that become gloriously full of being.

It’s in this state of being that ideas suddenly come to us, seemingly out of nowhere - when songwriters have ideas for songs, when writers have ideas for stories, when scientists suddenly ‘see’ the answers to problems that have vexed them, when inventors have ideas for new inventions. These creative potentials are usually blocked by the busy-ness of our minds and our lives. In order for them to emerge, both our lives and our minds have to become relatively empty and quiet.

This is why many - perhaps most - of the greatest discoveries, inventions and creative ideas in human history have not come about through ‘hard work’ or sustained logical thinking, but by doing nothing. That is, they have mostly occurred by accident, or unconscious intuition, in states of relaxation. The physicist Newton described how the ‘notion of gravitation came into his mind’ when he sat ‘in contemplative mood’ and saw an apple fall from a tree. (The apple didn’t actually fall on him, as is popularly believed.) The concept of coordinate geometry suddenly occurred to Rene Descartes when he was half asleep in bed, watching a fly buzz around the room.

A high proportion of the world’s great works of art were also inspired and conceived during moments of relaxed inactivity. The most recorded song of all time, "Yesterday" by The Beatles, was ‘heard’ by Paul McCartney as he was waking up one morning. The melody was fully formed in his mind, and he went straight to the piano in his bedroom to find the chords to go with it, and later found words to fit the melody. Mozart described how his musical ideas ‘flow best and most abundantly.’ when he was alone ‘traveling in a carriage or walking after a good meal, or during the night when I cannot sleep… Whence and how they come, I know not, nor can I force them.’

The Calm Center

I feel exactly the same about my own poetic reflections and meditations, published in The Clear Light. It’s difficult to say where the pieces come from. Most of them came as a surprise to me. I’ve learned not to expect them, or to wait for them. I only know that they tend to come at times when my life is fairly quiet, when I’m not busy with projects or duties, and free of pressure or deadlines. They tend to come when I have empty spaces of time to myself, and in a relaxed mood. In other words, they tend to come when I’m in the mode of being. They arise out of what I call ‘The clear light of the present.’

Since they arose from a state of being, it’s fitting that many of the pieces are about the importance of being. They describe how we need to be in order to regenerate our energies, to re-attune to ourselves, and to regain the feeling of well-being and connection to the world around us. Being belongs to the present, so we need to be in order to find the peace of presence, to resist the pull of the future and the past. We normally associate happiness with doing and having, but the most stable and the deepest well-being is that of being itself, which arises naturally when we stop striving to do or to have. As I say in the book,

Here there is no lack
only the wholeness of what is now.
Here there is no doubt
only the certainty of now.
Here there is no complexity
only the simple truth of now.

So why choose absence when we can be present?
Why be elsewhere when we can be here?

For me it’s wonderful that these pieces - which stem from the highest or deepest aspects of my own nature - seem to have the power to reach people’s highest, deepest selves too. This is one of the great things about art, be it music, poetry or painting - it’s a channel through which we can transmit our experience. If you feel ecstatic, sorrowful or awestruck you can express and capture your state of being in a piece of music or a painting. Your state of being or emotion becomes encapsulated in the piece, and it remains there, fresh and timeless, for any receptive listener to absorb. A piece which was written 300 years ago can be as fresh and inspiring as a piece which was written yesterday. This is especially true of spiritual art - spiritual poetry, spiritual music, or visual arts. At the spiritual level our connection is deepest and strongest. The spiritual is the ground of all our being, where individual differences fade away — in fact, where individuality itself fades away. At the spiritual level, we expand beyond distinctions of gender, ethnicity or religion, and touch into a common core. So insights and experiences from the spiritual level can be communicated very powerfully, without any barrier or interference. As I say in the book:

We are each other.
Every human being’s feelings flow
like currents of air through the atmosphere
of our communal being —
brushing each other’s souls
touching each other’s hearts
stirring mutual compassion.

The portal to these spiritual depths is a state of being. Being is the source of both creativity and spirituality.

Steve Taylor is the author of several bestselling books on psychology and spirituality, including The Clear Light, The Leap, and The Calm Center. His articles and essays have been published in over 50 academic journals, magazines and newspapers, including Scientific American and Psychology Today. Since 2011, he has appeared annually in Watkin’s Mind Body Spirit magazine’s list of “the world’s 100 most spiritually influential living people.” He lives in Manchester, England, with his wife and three children. Find out more about his work at www.stevenmtaylor.com.

Excerpted from the book The Clear Light. Copyright ©2020 by Steve Taylor. Printed with permission from New World Library.

I am driven to pursue self-knowledge and hidden truths through spirituality. My problem is that the people in my life are clueless and try to convince me that all my seeking is a huge waste of time. I'm not about to give it all up, as I have had out of body experiences, and my life has improved considerably since I started looking within for answers. Why am I constantly being tested by having to relate to people who believe in what I consider to be false dogma? I have in the past been pulled away from what I believe is my life path only to return with even stronger drive to explore the inner self. I have no one in my life I can discuss my amazing discoveries and experiences with. I have just started to chat with an online group (CWG), but I have no kindred spirits in my real life. I WILL continue! Is this common? Do you have any advice for me?

- Deb

Dreamchaser:

Deb, this solitary spiritual path you describe is very common. I personally have no one in my "real" life that is like-minded. I don't have any friends in town or groups that I participate in. I am what many people call a "sole practitioner." If I want to visit with like-minded folks, I have to travel. It is INCREDIBLY common for people like us to journey alone.

We are very fortunate to have the medium of the internet. We can go online any time during the day or night and find people who think just like we do. You finding this online discussion group is a very good thing. Not only are you able to talk to others about your experiences, but you are giving people who feel just as lonely as you do a place to vent, learn and feel understood.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. It's time to make peace with the fact that the people in your life may never truly understand you. They are who they are. You may understand them, but they do not understand what you are experiencing or trying to accomplish. They think your spiritual life is a "little hobby," and do not realize that it is at the heart of who you are and all you do.

I think the best thing you can do is lead by example. Learn inner peace and solitude. Learn how to become one with all that is. As you continue to evolve, they will have to see the changes in you. Even if they do not change the way they live or think themselves, they will have to agree that something is going on with you.

I think that what you are experiencing is exactly why Jesus said "do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers." Growing up in a Southern Baptist church, I was taught that the "unbelievers" were everyone other than our fellow Southern Baptists. As I grew, I discovered that it really meant what you are now learning: that it is very hard to share life with people who do not even have a remote clue about what you are exploring, discovering or learning.

Please stop expecting the people in your life to change, for they are not going to. You are the one who is evolving on a near-daily basis. If changes need to be made, you are the one who is going to have to make them for yourself. Expectations cause emotional suffering. Stop expecting people around you to do the right thing, to listen to your advice or requests, or even respect your spiritual path in the least, for that may never happen. Try to accept them and their own choices about how to live their lives, then go ahead and live the life you feel inclined to lead.

I wish you endless self-discovery.

*****

Astrea:

It's always hard to talk to people who have no idea what you're experiencing. Your friends aren't being very understanding. While this is disappointing, it's also normal, because most people fear what they don't understand.

It's a shame they feel they have to discourage you, but I've discovered that other people are never quite as interested in us as we would like them to be. I think talk of spiritual quests and enlightenment tends to either frighten people or bore them to tears. Your friends can't discuss any of this spiritual stuff with you because they're not really interested in it. It's silly to try to talk to a brick wall when there are so many kindred spirits out there.

Spiritual paths are challenging because they tend to be so lonely. Since each individual is different, it used to be very difficult to find people who shared our unusual experiences. Fortunately, the internet has opened a wonderful gateway for conversing with like-minded souls. To find people to be your "real life" friends, you'll have to go where they are. Believe it or not, we're EVERYWHERE!

In many communities, New Age bookstores have discussion groups and classes where you'll be able to meet people who share your interests. Try taking some classes related to your spiritual path in your community. You're probably never going to be able to find anyone with the exact same interests because spirituality is so personal, but you can find some who are similar. If there isn't any place like that in your town, travel to the next town over.

Most larger cities have churches, clubs and other organizations that will help you feel more like you're "fitting in." If there is a Unity Church in your community or close by, that would be a great place to start looking for spiritual friends. They know where to find everything, and the Unity people are always friendly and accepting. They can steer you in the right direction to find folks who share your interests, and they are usually quite eager to help.

Even when you do find a group of people you like to talk to, be aware that no matter how understanding and empathetic they may be, you're still on your own here. Get used to finding your own answers in life, because no one is going to be able to explain YOU to YOU.

Study and meditation often are things that have to be done alone, and there are many happy "solo" people who have found what you seek within themselves. Even though lots of outside stimuli are available through books, meetings, classes, and organizations, most of the time your spiritual path is one you will travel alone.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.