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Create Your Own Personal Haven—Anywhere, by Caroline Dow

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Stress! It's the scourge of our contemporary society. And the thought of retiring to a safe haven where you can banish stress, repair your nerves, and renew your life is a concept whose time has come. Creating a personal sanctuary, whether it be in a bedroom, bathroom, patio, garden, or the Great Outdoors, seems to be a cherished goal for many of us stressed-out people.

But how to go about fashioning such a retreat? What elements are required, and can you do it in a limited space and on a tight budget? These questions and many others form the contents of my book, A Sanctuary of Your Own. Perhaps you've read books, visited websites, and watched TV programs dedicated to this subject. With wild enthusiasm, you've started designing your space, and you're halfway there. But, somehow things aren't quite gelling. So in this short article, I'll distill some of the information from my book A Sanctuary of Your Own and offer tips that I hope help you complete your project with a minimum of fuss and stress. After all, stress is what we're trying to minimize.

First of all, you need to sit down and take the time to think, in depth, about the main purpose of your private space. Is it for relaxation, renewal, or creativity? A safe haven where you can leave behind the judgmental external world? Or, do you want to combine several intentions in one space?

Do you have the luxury of devoting an entire room to your refuge, or is it, like mine, multi-functional? My sacred space is a home office that doubles as a meditation spot and has tripled as a nursery and, lately, a comfy place for cats to snooze. Perhaps you share a room with someone else or there is not enough space to put together anything permanent. In such cases, you can create a mini, traveling haven in a box to keep in your closet or under the bed to bring out and set up when nobody is around, or even to take to the bathroom.

When I lived in Rio de Janeiro, I had no private space. So I put together a mini-sanctuary, which was more of an altar than anything else, and hid it away in the steamer trunk I'd brought to Brazil. Inside, I kept a pretty altar cloth, candles and candle holders, incense, quick-lighting coals, anda burner. I also had a book on meditation by the famous Ceremonial Magician, Israel Regardie, called The Middle Pillar. I especially like that book because on the back is a diagram of a human body with all the correct colors of the chakras positioned down the front of the torso. I would set it on top of the trunk-altar and use it as a meditation aid.

After identifying the location of your space and its main purpose, you might want to draw upon some of the concepts presented in Feng Shui, the Chinese art of harmonious living. Practitioners of this ancient art believe that adding representations of the elements of nature to one's surroundings helps harmonize and activate the area, in this case, your sanctuary. The Chinese recognize five basic elements, but in Western traditions, with which I am more familiar, we acknowledge four: air, fire, water, and earth.

Representations of the elements to incorporate into your sanctuary surroundings might be as simple as an open window for air, a mobile that moves with the room's air currents, or fragrant incense. For fire, you might want to light a candle or place a low-wattage lamp in the room to lend a cheery glow. A table-top fountain or a dish of water with a flower floating in it as a depiction of the water element is lovely, and it produces a calming sound. If you don't want to spend money on a small fountain, place an object in the room that reminds you of the sea, like a starfish or a small statue of a dolphin cut from a magazine. A favorite gemstone will suffice to symbolize earth (or, failing that, a dish of loam, sand, or even salt). If you don't have enough room, or don't wish to clutter your space with too many physical examples of the elements, find photos, drawings, or paintings that represent them and hang them on the walls. A wind-swept hilltop with clouds racing past could do for air; an erupting volcano or a campfire might symbolize fire; the ocean or a bucolic stream could indicate water; a picture of a cave or a verdant field might represent earth.

After you've integrated symbols of the four elements into your space, next pay attention to how to incorporate something to stimulate your five senses—sight, hearing, touch, smell and taste.

You can do a lot with color to enhance your visual experience. Paint the walls or decorate with one predominant color. Choose red for upliftment, orange for comfort, yellow for emotional strength, green for reflection, blue for spiritual awareness, purple for creativity, white for balance, brown for security, gray for contemplation, or black for deep concentration. Don't mix too many colors or the place will soon look like a circus.

You can also choose an object on which to visually focus. Place it in a prominent position, such as on an altar, where you can easily see it to meditate. The object could be a personal symbol or something universal, such as an ankh that stands for life or a star to represent inspiration. You might prefer to select a statue of a deity, or even a photo of a mentor. On my altar, I've set a small tree made of citrine to release depression, fears, and phobias and to encourage self-expression and strengthen my mind. Don't feel you need to keep the same object at your focal point permanently. Switch them out, along with your meditation themes, as your needs and desires change.

As to the sense of hearing, I'm reminded of an MRI technician friend of mine who always offers patients the option to listen to music to calm their nerves while having this noisy and claustrophobic procedure performed. He tells me patients have eclectic tastes: they choose anything from Celtic harp, folk, and classical music to jazz, Latino, musicals, and even hard rock, with Led Zeppelin being a favorite. Personally, I like listening to Gregorian chants. But that's just me! Don't forget the calming effect of a table-top fountain gurgling away in the background. And in the end, there's absolutely nothing wrong with silence to help quiet your mind so you can hear yourself think.

Some people say that burning incense or scented candles calms them and puts them in a spiritual frame of mind because the fragrance reminds them of religious experiences they've had. Others reject such scents for those very reasons or because they suffer from allergies. Still others enjoy festooning their retreats with flowers whose fragrances they enjoy. Then there are those prefer to open a window and let fresh, cleansing breezes waft through the room. Do whatever you like—this is your place, after all.

For the sense of touch, wall coverings like tapestries or prayer rugs can add a touch of texture, as can soft pillows, blankets, and furry rugs. Don't forget to bring something warm and cozy for your feet, such as luxurious house slippers. Many people do this not only for comfort, but also because they don't want to bring into their sacred space street shoes and the worries of daily life they represent. Others prefer to go barefoot so that they can connect with the earth's vibrations underfoot, even if the earth itself is six stories below.

Finally, there's the sense of taste, which is closely allied to the other senses. Colors are reminiscent of taste. If, for example, you paint your space banana yellow, you might be reminded of that fruity taste as well as of its symbolic meaning, which is fertility and male energy. Naturally, you may bring something into your retreat that not only reminds you of the sense of taste, but that you actually eat or drink. I'm reminded of a TV ad currently making the rounds of a close-up of a woman, kicking back and taking a private moment to relax and enjoy the sensuous taste of a chocolate covered caramel.

Other items you may want to take into your sanctuary to stimulate your sense of taste include a vast array of teas, coffees, cocoas, and herbal beverages, hot or iced. Not only will you fuel this sense, you can use the symbolic meaning of the particular beverage to help guide your meditations. Here are a few examples of beverages you might want to prepare and drink, depending on your taste. I've included a few keywords with each that relate to possible meditation themes.

• Black tea: energy, alertness, adaptability, willpower, self-control
• Green tea: harmony, better health, regeneration
• White tea: receptivity, tranquility, relaxation, truth-seeking
• Cocoa: better digestion, love, meditation, Native American traditions, communion with the All-One
• Coffee: sharpening the intellect, memory improvement, self-development

For those not into caffeine in any form, here's a short list of six tasty botanicals that will appeal to almost anyone when consumed as herbal teas. These botanicals are also steeped—if you pardon the pun—in symbolic meaning and are appropriate to contemplate as meditation themes.

• Borage: strengthens resolve
• Chamomile: draws prosperity
• Dandelion leaf: normalizes emotions
• Ginger: enhances intuition
• Peppermint leaf: new beginnings and to see the future
• Rose petals: love, devotion, high aspirations

And to put you in touch with the four elements of nature, add ¼ teaspoon of these dried herbs to a cup of black, green, or white tea: lavender or lemongrass for air, calendula or orange peel for fire, jasmine or hibiscus flowers for water, and nettle leaf or alfalfa grass for earth.

My final tip for creating a successful sanctuary is to above all, have fun designing it, creating it, and filling it with love. This is your private place, and may you enjoy it to the fullest.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

I had a strange experience a few months ago, and I hope you can tell me what was happening. My father and I were sitting in the car late one evening, waiting to pick my sister up from work, as we didn't want her driving alone at night. Both of us soon dozed off. When I began to fall asleep, I felt very relaxed and comfortable, but I soon had the unsettling feeling that I was falling out of my body, if that makes any sense. I started hearing loud voices talking, but I couldn't understand what any of them were saying. I got scared and tried to scream, but only managed to gasp and whisper "Dad," because I felt like I couldn't breathe. At that point I became aware of where I was and what had happened, and realized that my father had slept through the whole thing. At first I was very disturbed and frightened by the experience, but now I wonder. I have been trying to further develop my psychic abilities, mainly so that I can communicate with my guardian angels. Do you think that my experience has anything to do with my efforts at psychic development? Whose voices did I hear? Could they have been my angels, and if so, how can I do this again? Thanks very much!

- Renee

Dreamchaser:

Renee, you are describing an astral travel or out of body experience. There are many names for it, but it all is the same thing.

I have said repeatedly in this column that when we sleep, our souls leave our bodies to go where they need to go to do whatever soul work most needs doing. When our subconscious mind is shut down and we are not THINKING, our soul can get a whole lot of work accomplished. You just happened to be aware that all of this was happening.

There are two different "normal" scenarios. The first is we wake up with a start, look around and have NO idea where we are, what day it is, what time it is, what we are doing there, or sometimes even who we are. Slowly, the fog lifts and we start to realize what is going on. That happens when our minds/bodies wake up before our souls have time to get back first. We wake up with a start because we actually feel our souls falling back into our bodies, like a person jumping through the doors of a subway train to catch it before it leaves the station. This is actually the more common of the two scenarios. Since our souls are who we really are, if our souls have not come back yet, then we do not have any real understanding of who/what is going on since WE are not there yet.

The second situation is when our souls either get back to our bodies or leave our bodies before our minds do. That is when we are completely aware of what is going on in the Otherworld, but our minds are not with us so we cannot process or comprehend what is going on - we just know that we are afraid. That is what happened to you. You felt your soul leave as you felt that FALLING feeling. Again, you are your soul, therefore you WERE falling out of your body in a manner of speaking. When this happens, people usually jerk UPWARD. If you watch someone sleep, you will see it happen.

As we embark on a spiritual path and welcome new lessons and opportunities, we will start to have more and more bizarre things happen around us and to us. Of course this is a lesson for you, Renee. You asked to see angels and spirits, and what happened? You "saw" them, or at the very least heard them, and immediately you "yelled" for your Dad. Grin. This is a great example of our spirits wanting to grow, and our logical minds trying to interfere via fear, doubt, or any other block we choose to throw up. The next time it happens, try to go with the flow and see where it takes you. You are not in any danger, and you will not in any way be harmed. You are merely "dreaming."

I wish you VIVID "dreams."

2553

Astrea:

What you describe happening to you in your car is a brief experience of Astral Travel. Many people have this happen as they are falling asleep or waking up. When we are in the process of falling asleep or awakening, there is a short time where our Souls are able to travel to other places and dimensions. Some people like to develop this skill so that they can expand it into whole journeys. Some can even do this while awake and aware of their physical surroundings.

Most people, at some time or another, experience something similar to what happened to you. Small children do it all the time, and they have very little fear about doing it or describing it to others. The older we get, the more difficult it is to accept this as a NATURAL part of our existence.

The sensation of spirit leaving the physical plane is always disconcerting at first. The first time someone notices this happening as an adult, it can be very frightening. I've heard many people describe the feeling you had of trying to call out for help but not having their voice cooperate. Without the Body and Spirit connected, you have little or no control over the physical body your spirit has left behind. You probably felt very vulnerable and helpless, which is NEVER FUN.

The voices you heard were the voices of people who were either Astral Traveling at the same time you were, or people Beyond the Veil. If you plan to work on this aspect of your spirituality, with practice you'll be able to discern the different voices and what they are trying to say to you or to each other. In Astral Travel, we often psychically "eavesdrop" on other people's visits and conversations without meaning to. Sound is one of the easiest things to discern when Astral Traveling.

Without knowing exactly what else you have been doing to develop your other psychic skills and abilities, it's difficult for me to pinpoint why this would happen to you at this time. It probably has a lot to do with your age and the open attitude you've been developing through practice and study.

Check out your local library for books about Astral Travel and out of body experiences, and if you feel this is the direction you should go to get closer to your Angels and Guides, try to find someone in your area who is either an expert or has had a lot of personal experience with this kind of work. Astral Travel can be scary, but it's usually also very rewarding. It opens doors that our conscious mind won't open for us in this busy time, and it can lead us to many different wonderful experiences.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.