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An excerpt from The Final 8th 
by Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW

No one enjoys being stuck and the misery is amplified when we have accomplished multiple steps toward a cherished goal — whether breaking a bad habit, losing weight, building a business, finding a mate, or finishing a degree — but just can’t seem to complete it.

In The Final 8th: Enlist Your Inner Selves to Accomplish Your Goals, author and therapist Bridgit Dengel Gaspard calls this demoralizing quandary when someone is so close to the finish line but just can’t seem to cross it “the final 8th” and introduces a powerful technique called voice dialogue to help readers recognize and overcome internal blocks that are preventing them from achieving their goals. We hope you’ll enjoy this excerpt from the book.

The Inner Critic is programmed to be suspicious of anything new. It is wired toward attachment to your early caregivers and their core negative beliefs. To this persona, the final eighth is perilous! Because its honorable task is to protect you by avoiding abandonment, it’s hypervigilant for dangers like judgment, hurt, shame, or rejection. Its dysfunctional strategy is to criticize you before someone else does in the hopes of making you “better” in some way. Your Inner Critic simultaneously assumes you’re inferior (which effectively enforces core negative beliefs) and urges you to move ahead (which presupposes that you have the ability to do so) and thus berates you both for being inferior and for squandering your superior talents. This keeps you in your double bind, a dynamic your Inner Critic may not have been aware of until now.

Who does your Inner Critic work for?

Think about that for a minute. Does your Inner Critic work for you? I don’t think so. Otherwise it would obey when you give it an order. Your Inner Critic works for your early caregivers and perhaps some of the folks referenced in your blameography. Out of this instinctive devotion, the Inner Critic can behave like a bully who resorts to threats and stalking. Making you feel bad keeps you in your double bind. It makes you the servant of your Inner Critic and core negative beliefs, holding you back from your final eighth.

The Inner Critic’s gifts are that it never seems to run out of energy or creativity, second-guess itself, or become overwhelmed with insecurity. Hal and Sidra Stone describe the Inner Critic as having “the intelligence of a genius, an uncanny intuition, an ability to analyze our feelings and motivations, a sweeping gaze that notices the tiniest of details, and, in general, an unerring ability to see and to magnify all our faults and shortcomings. It seems to be a lot more intelligent and perceptive than we ordinary mortals are.”

The energy and insights of the Inner Critic are like fire, which can either be harnessed to sauté piquant truffle fries or let loose to burn the barn down.

Here’s an exercise that can help harness the skills of your Inner Critic and other parts.

The Final Eighth Process
Promote Your Alter Egos
List some abilities of your Inner Critic.

As an example, here are my Inner Critic’s abilities:
The ability to keenly observe how I don’t measure up.
The ability to brutally assess how I don’t measure up.
Limitless energy to judge how I don’t measure up.

Surprise your Inner Critic with a love letter.

Thank it for having been such a loyal protector, with its blind devotion to saving you from abandonment at any cost. Let it know that the days of living as if your core negative beliefs were true are over. It is now the era of core positivity. In a word or two, describe how that feels. Some of my clients have chosen words such as radiant, free, and liberated.

Redefine and upgrade the talents and creative energies of the Inner Critic for beneficial use. Its laser-sharp perception is now assigned to supporting your final eighth goals.

Here’s how my Inner Critic’s abilities are reassigned:

Its ability for keen observation can be applied to polishing my writing.
Its ability for brutal assessment can be transformed into highly efficient time management, reminding me that if I want to accomplish all I hope to in a day, I need to get organized first.
Its limitless energy to judge can be transformed into a vast supply of energy to fuel my creativity and fun curiosity instead of reinforcing my core negative belief.

List some abilities of another subpersonality.

Here are examples from a client who recommissioned her Perfectionist:
Ability to maintain high standards, which I never measure up to.
Ability to be tireless, which makes me feel terrible, as, inevitably, I don’t measure up.
Ability to be competitive, though I never measure up or make the cut.
Again, surprise this alter ego with a love letter thanking it for its protection and letting it know that the time of living as if your core negative beliefs were true is over. It is now the era of core positivity. In a word or two, describe how that feels.

Promote Other Selves

Reassign and promote the talents and creative energies of these other selves. Make sure you assign them roles appropriate to their age and strengths: in other words, don’t ask your Magical Inner Child to function as the CEO of your final eighth project.

Here’s how my client reassigned the superpowers of her Perfectionist:

The Perfectionist’s high standards will be applied to make my home beautiful, because it makes me feel good and I deserve it.
The ability to be tireless will be applied to my final eighth goal, without my core negative belief putting the brakes on me all the time.
Its competitiveness will be assigned to motivating me so that when I set out to do something, like my final eighth, I have the strength to persevere.

Bridgit Dengel Gaspard, LCSW, is the author of The Final 8th and the founder of the New York Voice Dialogue Institute. She is a former performer who earned a master’s degree from Columbia University and teaches at numerous professional settings including Omega Institute. She lives in New York City, where she maintains a thriving private practice. Visit her online at Final8th.com.

Excerpted from the book The Final 8th. Copyright ©2020 by Bridgit Dengel Gaspard. Printed with permission from New World Library.

For the past month or so, my boyfriend and I have had money seem to just disappear from the house and even the car a number of times. The first time was over $500, and I believe that one of my boyfriend's "friends" took it. A psychic confirmed this. The second time, my boyfriend dropped me off at work, and I left $250 in my glove compartment. There were three people in my car (including my boyfriend) while I was gone. Later I noticed $200 was missing. Shortly after this, I noticed the $2 bills my boyfriend and I had been collecting were missing from my closet. Mind you, I have been very conscious of who comes into my home. Finally, last night while my boyfriend made me dinner, I counted my money three times. I sat on the bed while doing this, and put the $360 I had counted in my pants pocket with a tight rubber band around it. My boyfriend had no knowledge of this because he was downstairs cooking me dinner. After dinner, he came up and we went to bed. I kept waking up during the night with a weird feeling. In the morning we both got up at the same time, and he left before me to take his brother's girlfriend to work. I noticed that my pants weren't as I had left them, and $100 of the $360 was missing. I immediately called my boyfriend and asked if he took any money out of my pants. He told me no, that anytime he needs money, he always asks me and wouldn't just take it. Now I know it looks like he's been doing it, but I don't feel that in my heart. Am I going nuts? The reason it was in my pocket was because I was taking it to the bank the next day. Help! (I was born on 10/30/81. My boyfriend was born 5/12/74.)
Jessica

Dreamchaser:

Jessica, there is one common denominator in all of these stories: your boyfriend. I know you don't want to believe it, but it sure looks like he is the one who has been taking your money.

As far as the first loss goes (the one a psychic confirmed for you), I do believe one of his friends took it. Once your boyfriend figured out how easy it was to steal from you, however, he started to as well. He may even have been an accessory to the first robbery. At the very least, he found out after the fact and didn't make his friend return your cash.

One thing concerns me even more than your boyfriend stealing from you. It's the following line: "He told me that anytime he needs money, he always asks me and wouldn't just take it."

So you just give him money when he asks for it? Why would you do that? Are you married? If you are handing out money so freely, may I please have some? If you have to buy someone's affections, you're going end up empty-handed.

I want you to also consider that your boyfriend could have a substance abuse problem, and this may be why he is stealing money in the first place. This problem has him burning through his own money, the money that he asks you and others for, and even the money he now takes wherever he can find it. It's time for you to become aware of what is really going on with him.

Some symptoms of a substance abuse problem include:

- abrupt changes in attendance and work quality at school or work
- unusual outbreaks of temper
- withdrawal from responsibility
- changes in general attitude
- deterioration of physical appearance and grooming
- wearing sunglasses at inappropriate times
- wearing long-sleeved shirts in hot weather, or a reluctance to wear short-sleeved attire when appropriate
- association with known substance abusers
- unusual borrowing of money
- stealing small items from employers, home or school
- secretive behavior regarding actions and possessions
- frequent trips to the restroom, storeroom, etc.

Please face the truth and do something to save yourself.

I wish you enriching relationships.

*****

Astrea:

I'm not inclined to think your boyfriend is taking your money, even though it would seem to be the most logical explanation. A Taurus is usually too truthful and honest to do something like that, especially when someone they love is involved.

I CAN tell you that it's not a Spirit manifestation of any kind, and that money doesn't walk away by itself. The thief is someone who comes in and out of your home, and even has a key to do so. It might be a landlord or a security person, but I seriously doubt anyone like that would take the chance of being discovered, or do something like that over and over again. Also, this person has a key that you don't KNOW about and didn't GIVE to him - he stole that too!

I feel the psychic who told you that a friend of your boyfriend's took the money was right. I got a very funny feeling when you mentioned that he left to take his brother's girlfriend to work. Whoever is taking your money at your home also rides in your car, so this is someone you think you know well. Also, I feel it's a man, not a woman. This person also knows your paydays and the day of the month when you're most likely to have a sizeable amount of cash in the house.

Unfortunately, as long as you have that much cash in your possession, you're going to be a target for theft. Putting a tight rubber band around those bills isn't going to keep sticky fingers out of your pockets! Thieves know all the right "hiding places" for cash. Most of us are pretty predictable about where we hide things.

The best and most efficient way to put a stop to this is to stop having any large amounts of cash in your home for a while. Get a new bank account that does not have an ATM card to go with it, as that could be stolen. Keep your checkbook under your pillow at night for a while, and NEVER leave cash in the glove compartment of your car!

The most cash you should keep on you is about $20. Change all the locks on your doors so that this person who has copied your key doesn't have access to your home. Move any collections of change or $2 bills to your parents' house.

My grandmother used to say that it was just as much a sin to leave temptation to sin lying around as it was to fall into the sin itself. All that cash is just too tempting for someone in your circle to resist. While you are not to blame for this thief's actions, if you don't have money around, no one will be tempted to steal it!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.