KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Steve Taylor, author of many books on spirituality and psychology including 
The Clear Light, The Leap, and The Calm Center

2006 was a difficult year. In April our second child, Ted, was born. Ted was a lovely baby (and is a lovely boy now) but he seemed to be born without the need to sleep. At night it was difficult to settle him down, and when he finally did settle, it was usually only for a short time. He would usually wake several times throughout the night, every hour or so, and my wife and I would take turns getting up. This isn’t unusual for a new baby, but with Ted it went on for a long time. I was working as a college tutor, at the same time as working to meet the deadline for a book, and soon became exhausted (although not as exhausted as my wife). We also had Ted’s three year old brother to look after. Eventually - probably because of the stress - I became seriously ill for the first time in my life, leading to two weeks in hospital and an operation. Strangely enough, it was while I was in hospital that Ted finally - after nearly 9 months - settled down, and began to sleep through the night.

It was during this time of turmoil and stress that I began to write poems and short spiritual reflections. I’ve always loved poetry, and in my youth I had written a lot of poems and song lyrics (none of them particularly good). But it had been more than 10 years since I’d written a poem, and in any case, the pieces that were starting to come through me now were different. They weren’t prose, but they weren’t exactly poems. They were poetic, but a little too loose and free to correspond to traditional concepts of poetry.

The pieces seemed to arrive from nowhere, as if they had been slowly gestating inside me for years, waiting for the right moment to emerge. Phrases would form in my mind, and when I sat down to write them down, other phrases would follow, until complete pieces would be in front of me. It was similar to channelling - the ‘raw material’ flowed into me, and my task was to give it form, to mould and edit it into the right shape. I was surprised by the voice which spoke in the pieces - a wise, assured voice, more weighty and more profound than my normal writing voice. This voice came from the deepest and highest part of me, and was able to express profound insights easily and directly.

Ever since then, poems and spiritual reflections have continued to flow through me. Some of them are collected in my new book The Clear Light. Sometimes the pieces arise in such an involuntary way that I forget about them quickly and am surprised when I read them again, wondering if I actually did write them. They emerge from formless consciousness. As I put it in my new book:

Every morning when I wake up, I re-create myself.
I emerge from formless consciousness
like a diver rising to the surface, still immersed in bliss.
And slowly I remember the world and who I am.

Turmoil and Transformation

Years later, I began to wonder if there was any reason why I began to write these pieces. I think there may well be connection with the stress and turmoil of that period of my life. I’ve always been fascinated by the strong connection between psychological turmoil and spiritual awakening, which I explored in my book The Leap. Combined with an attitude of acceptance, turmoil can have an awakening effect. As I put it in The Clear Light:

Trauma can break you down to nothing
destroy the identity you spent your whole life
building up
like an earthquake that leaves you in ruins
or trauma can transform you
break open new depths and heights of you
give rise to a greater structure, a miraculous new self
and the only difference between them is acceptance.

There is a strong connection between psychological turmoil and creativity too. Musicians and writers sometimes find that their inspiration fades away when their lives are comfortable and stable, and that a period of turbulence - e.g. the break up of a relationship, illness, depression - can reawaken their creativity. And so it may be that the turmoil of this period of my life led to a spiritual opening and deepening which led to many powerful awakening experiences and also expressed itself creatively, enabling the channelling of these reflections and meditations.

My life is fairly stable now, and I’m in good health, and Ted has grown up into a wonderfully joyful and loving boy. And fortunately, the channel which opened up nine years ago has remained open. That wise assured and authoritative voice is still speaking through me. The pieces are still coming through fairly regularly, even though I don’t put any pressure on them. I feel massively grateful that new ideas and insights keep forming. I still feel deeply connected to that creative spiritual source - and I hope that reading these pieces has connected you to it too. Let me end with these words from The Clear Light:

Let’s meet purely in presence
without any conditions or concepts
knowing that in essence we are the same
and that in being we are one.

Steve Taylor is the author of several bestselling books on psychology and spirituality, including The Clear Light, The Leap, and The Calm Center. His articles and essays have been published in over 50 academic journals, magazines and newspapers, including Scientific American and Psychology Today. Since 2011, he has appeared annually in Watkin’s Mind Body Spirit magazine’s list of “the world’s 100 most spiritually influential living people.” He lives in Manchester, England, with his wife and three children. Find out more about his work at www.stevenmtaylor.com.

Excerpted from the book The Clear Light. Copyright ©2020 by Steve Taylor. Printed with permission from New World Library.

For the past month or so, my boyfriend and I have had money seem to just disappear from the house and even the car a number of times. The first time was over $500, and I believe that one of my boyfriend's "friends" took it. A psychic confirmed this. The second time, my boyfriend dropped me off at work, and I left $250 in my glove compartment. There were three people in my car (including my boyfriend) while I was gone. Later I noticed $200 was missing. Shortly after this, I noticed the $2 bills my boyfriend and I had been collecting were missing from my closet. Mind you, I have been very conscious of who comes into my home. Finally, last night while my boyfriend made me dinner, I counted my money three times. I sat on the bed while doing this, and put the $360 I had counted in my pants pocket with a tight rubber band around it. My boyfriend had no knowledge of this because he was downstairs cooking me dinner. After dinner, he came up and we went to bed. I kept waking up during the night with a weird feeling. In the morning we both got up at the same time, and he left before me to take his brother's girlfriend to work. I noticed that my pants weren't as I had left them, and $100 of the $360 was missing. I immediately called my boyfriend and asked if he took any money out of my pants. He told me no, that anytime he needs money, he always asks me and wouldn't just take it. Now I know it looks like he's been doing it, but I don't feel that in my heart. Am I going nuts? The reason it was in my pocket was because I was taking it to the bank the next day. Help! (I was born on 10/30/81. My boyfriend was born 5/12/74.)
Jessica

Dreamchaser:

Jessica, there is one common denominator in all of these stories: your boyfriend. I know you don't want to believe it, but it sure looks like he is the one who has been taking your money.

As far as the first loss goes (the one a psychic confirmed for you), I do believe one of his friends took it. Once your boyfriend figured out how easy it was to steal from you, however, he started to as well. He may even have been an accessory to the first robbery. At the very least, he found out after the fact and didn't make his friend return your cash.

One thing concerns me even more than your boyfriend stealing from you. It's the following line: "He told me that anytime he needs money, he always asks me and wouldn't just take it."

So you just give him money when he asks for it? Why would you do that? Are you married? If you are handing out money so freely, may I please have some? If you have to buy someone's affections, you're going end up empty-handed.

I want you to also consider that your boyfriend could have a substance abuse problem, and this may be why he is stealing money in the first place. This problem has him burning through his own money, the money that he asks you and others for, and even the money he now takes wherever he can find it. It's time for you to become aware of what is really going on with him.

Some symptoms of a substance abuse problem include:

- abrupt changes in attendance and work quality at school or work
- unusual outbreaks of temper
- withdrawal from responsibility
- changes in general attitude
- deterioration of physical appearance and grooming
- wearing sunglasses at inappropriate times
- wearing long-sleeved shirts in hot weather, or a reluctance to wear short-sleeved attire when appropriate
- association with known substance abusers
- unusual borrowing of money
- stealing small items from employers, home or school
- secretive behavior regarding actions and possessions
- frequent trips to the restroom, storeroom, etc.

Please face the truth and do something to save yourself.

I wish you enriching relationships.

*****

Astrea:

I'm not inclined to think your boyfriend is taking your money, even though it would seem to be the most logical explanation. A Taurus is usually too truthful and honest to do something like that, especially when someone they love is involved.

I CAN tell you that it's not a Spirit manifestation of any kind, and that money doesn't walk away by itself. The thief is someone who comes in and out of your home, and even has a key to do so. It might be a landlord or a security person, but I seriously doubt anyone like that would take the chance of being discovered, or do something like that over and over again. Also, this person has a key that you don't KNOW about and didn't GIVE to him - he stole that too!

I feel the psychic who told you that a friend of your boyfriend's took the money was right. I got a very funny feeling when you mentioned that he left to take his brother's girlfriend to work. Whoever is taking your money at your home also rides in your car, so this is someone you think you know well. Also, I feel it's a man, not a woman. This person also knows your paydays and the day of the month when you're most likely to have a sizeable amount of cash in the house.

Unfortunately, as long as you have that much cash in your possession, you're going to be a target for theft. Putting a tight rubber band around those bills isn't going to keep sticky fingers out of your pockets! Thieves know all the right "hiding places" for cash. Most of us are pretty predictable about where we hide things.

The best and most efficient way to put a stop to this is to stop having any large amounts of cash in your home for a while. Get a new bank account that does not have an ATM card to go with it, as that could be stolen. Keep your checkbook under your pillow at night for a while, and NEVER leave cash in the glove compartment of your car!

The most cash you should keep on you is about $20. Change all the locks on your doors so that this person who has copied your key doesn't have access to your home. Move any collections of change or $2 bills to your parents' house.

My grandmother used to say that it was just as much a sin to leave temptation to sin lying around as it was to fall into the sin itself. All that cash is just too tempting for someone in your circle to resist. While you are not to blame for this thief's actions, if you don't have money around, no one will be tempted to steal it!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.