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3 Ways (Yoga Included!) to Shift Your Body Image, by Anna Guest-Jelley, MA

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

A friend recently asked me how I made the shift towards a more positive body image.

And I froze.

Despite writing about this often and thinking about it even more, an answer didn't easily spring to mind. I think that's because it's a monolithic question in a lot of ways, and I've done SO many different things that it's hard to narrow it down.

Drilling Down

After shaking off my initial brain freeze, I did the next best thing I could think of: spout off some platitudes—therapy, journaling, blah, blah, blah.

Now, those things aren't blah blah to me—not at all. They're actually two of my most important tools that I use on a regular basis. But they were blah blah to her at the time because I knew she'd heard it all before, and she was struggling. She wanted to hear something different, and I knew I wasn't being as real as I wanted to be.

One More Layer
There were a few other friends in the room, so the conversation continued for a bit without me. I listened to them with one ear and to myself with the other—asking myself, "What has REALLY made a difference to me?"

And then it hit me.

As soon as I could, I jumped back into the conversation and told my friend, "One of the biggest things I did was completely change my environment."

That got her attention.

Creating My Life
From there, I went into further detail. First up, I let go of toxic friendships—the ones that drained me of energy because they were all one-sided. But also the ones where all we talked about was how much we hated our bodies and needed to go on a diet. Now, I didn't just call up these people and break-up with them in one day; my process wasn't that quick. But over time, as I saw our relationships more deeply (or, rather, saw their lack of depth), I had less desire to spend time with these people. And we gradually drifted apart—no passive-aggressive melodrama necessary.

Second, I also changed my home. I got rid of all the clothes I was hanging onto for the hopes of fitting into one day. I couldn't believe the shift that created for me energetically. I quite literally felt freer after unburdening myself of the expectations infused in those clothes. I also hid my scale from myself. Of course, I knew it was still there, but more often than not I didn't think about it when it wasn't the first thing I saw every morning. Again, over time, as I fell out of the routine of weighing myself two-three times a week, I missed it less and less.

The Myth of Giving Up
As I read through this list, my inner critic thinks, "You didn't change your environment. You gave up!"

And, my, isn't that a pervasive myth? We even have jokes about it—how people get older, married, in a busy job, have kids or whatever (it really doesn't matter the reason, does it?)—and they "give up." In this scenario, giving up is meant to mean on the way they look. What a sad social construct.

First of all, I think this is ridiculous, offensive, and designed solely to support the diet and beauty industries. Second, you know what looks better on people than a smaller pair of pants? Not hating themselves.

Truly, don't we all know those people whose bodies don't fit the standard beauty norms but who everyone thinks is radiant and gorgeous? I know I do. And it's not because of their clothes or makeup. It's because they have a light within, and they shine it out with confidence.

Where Yoga Comes In
Another thing I did to make a body image shift is commit to my yoga practice—for real. Up until that point I'd had an on again/off again relationship with it, but as I realized how yoga taught me to connect with my body on the mat, I quickly saw how it was supporting me in the same way off the mat. So I set about finding a way to practice every day, even if some days that looked like one deep breath with mindfulness.

The more I talk with people about how yoga affects their body image, the more inspired I am by how it creates a positive shift for so many types of people in different ways. Although yoga culture these days can sometimes contribute less positively to body image issues, the actual practice of yoga reconnects people with their bodies and gives them a way to relate to them that might otherwise be difficult or even in accessible.

Making the Shift
I know it can sounds like a lot, perhaps even too much, to change your environment. And I can hear the reasons as to why you could never cut that person out of your life. And that's probably true; it is for me. I still have people in my life who aren't 100% supportive of my body lovin' journey who I choose not to cut out (primarily because they're family members). So what I do with them is shift the conversation as much as possible, redirecting the topic when it shifts to bodies, calories, and dieting, as it often does.

You'll also notice that with everything I did, I said "over time" or "slowly." This didn't happen overnight?not by a long shot. So if there are things you might like to change in your life, figure out your own pace and method.

And start making the shift.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2014. All rights reserved.

My 14-year-old niece has been visited by a boy who appears to be around eight years old. He has been around since she was four years old. He has never said anything to her. He has tried to approach her on a few occasions. She says that an old woman came into the picture a few years ago, and she takes him away with an angry look on her face like she is upset with my niece for noticing them. This is starting to really scare her. Now he is everywhere, even in school. I really want to help her but I don't know how. There are cases of bi-polar disorder and OCD in my family, but her pediatrician doesn't believe she has a mental disorder. For some strange reason, she is terrified of priests and she refuses to go near them. This is getting out of hand and I'm desperate to find help for her. If she goes to a psychologist, they won't believe it's paranormal and I'm afraid she'll get worse if she's told it's all a hallucination and she is mentally ill. How can we tell if this is a ghostly encounter as opposed to a psychological disorder?

Astrea:

First you all have to get together and send that poor little boy into the light, and the YiaYia, too. He's been stuck between here and there for many years now, maybe 200 or more. He didn't speak when he was alive - that's why he doesn't speak to anyone who sees him now. He is desperate to leave the Earth Plane and sees your niece as a miracle of hope.

The YiaYia is a manifestation of his imagination; it drags him away to wander the in between space eternally. There are easy, safe rituals to send him into the Light. Personally, I use the prayer to St. Michael the Archangel, ring the bell, close the Book, blow out the candle and have a nice trip, goodbye! Warn your niece to expect to miss him for a while, for they've been together a long time.

Ruling out the possibility of mental illness in any teen is tricky, but your niece's case is pretty clear. Her generation is the first in the family to feel safe in revealing what is going on between them and those from Beyond the Veil. Their communication with spirits is going to be so much more natural than was the case with our generation.

Here is how you can help: Supply the tools she needs in order to process what is happening within her. If she's not keeping a journal of these experiences, have her start now. If you can, buy her an inexpensive laptop to use as a notebook so what she's experiencing stays in one place - on that laptop.

Always let her know that you accept everything she says as true so she doesn't have to convince you; you just need to know what's going on so you'll know what other tools to get for her. By skipping the painful you have to believe me part with you, she can approach her growing powers with a clearer head.

Her fear of priests is normal, for I'm sure she went up against the Judges in a number of past lives. She senses an old danger from priests. Maybe the priestly outfit scares her too, the way some kids are scared of clowns. She's not possessed by a demon (even though the poor kid probably thinks she is at times), and the people she sees can't and won't hurt her. In fact, she can help them.

Finally, you can call on medical doctors or open-minded psychologists who believe that what is happening to your niece is within the range of possibilities. Take your time and find a mental health professional who can guide your niece toward peace with her psychic ability.

*****

Susyn:

You pose an interesting question. As a psychic, I do wonder how often paranormal activity is dismissed as an illusion or hallucination.

New terms for various disorders (such as Bi-polar, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)) continue to be created in an attempt to cover a select set of symptoms or behaviors. I have often found that clients who have been diagnosed with some mental disorder are really suffering from a haunting, possession, or the attachment of a discarnate spirit.

Psychological disorders are presumably caused by chemical imbalances or traumatic experiences that skew the patient's perceptions. In your niece's case, you don't mention any basis for tying her experiences to a mental disorder.

Your niece noticed this boy at a young age, which suggests the presence of a poltergeist, earthbound spirit or familiar spirit from a past life who longs to be near her. Sometimes when a twin dies in utero, the spirit of the twin can visit the surviving twin in childhood. You might want to question her parents to see if this is a possibility.

Before children reach the age of 5 or 6, it is very common for them to see spirits no one else can see and to recall their past lives in vivid detail. Your niece's aversion to priests could have originated from a traumatic past life experience. After a point, these memories diminish, so even if a small child has an invisible playmate they see often, these experiences will tend to fade away as they grow older.

There are a number of ways to determine if this is a paranormal event, and there are actions your niece can take to rid herself of an unwanted spirit if need be. You might encourage her to visit a psychic or even a priest or minister in order to determine the identity of this boy spirit and get more peace and clarity. In other words, it's time to seek spiritual help.

If this little boy is a discarnate spirit, a good psychic will know how to send him towards the light and help him cross over to the other side. If that is not effective, a priest can perform the rites of exorcism to alleviate this haunting.

It's a good idea to get some help for your niece now to prevent psychological problems in the future, for if she continues to encounter spirits and have psychic experiences that others consider crazy or impossible, she may begin to doubt her own sanity.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.