KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

7 Ways to Traverse Your Way Through Any Transition, by Servet Hasan

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

None of us can escape loss. Life's challenges are universal and eventually will find us. Whether you're moving to a new city, leaving for college, or experiencing a divorce in your family, having life throw a major curve ball can leave us longing for the way things used to be. Yes, there is often grief and pain associated with these transitions, especially the surprise attackers, such as losing a job, or discovering we have a serious illness. It doesn't matter whether a life transition evolves slowly over time or is forced by an unexpected event; we have to plunge ourselves into purgatory. Life transitions can be periods of enormous personal and psychological growth. Instead of falling into fear or avoidance, we can realize that every change we face—even the most difficult and painful—gives us an opportunity to receive the miraculous gift of self-realization. It is a golden opportunity to reinvent ourselves and find wholeness in our lives.

Just when you think you've fallen completely to pieces, your inner guidance system can and will help you understand that loss is only what you make of it. Rather than deny it, become a victim, or reach for whatever addiction you feel may cover up the agony, you can actually learn to embrace your pain. In so doing, you will realize that everything that happens to you, every situation in which you find yourself, represents a lesson that could teach you how to take the next step forward in the actualization of your selfhood. Growing up is all about learning to leave some things behind in order to embrace the new. In fact, transition periods can become some of the most exciting, creative, and even liberating times of our lives. They can become catalysts for our personal evolution by forcing us to face every issue we have ever avoided facing, thereby uncovering the essential truth about who we really are. This is the true meaning of spiritual renewal.

If you are in the middle of a transition, take a deep breath and know that by supporting yourself during this time you are setting the stage for a brilliant new phase in your life. In my book, Life in Transition: An Intuitive Path to New Beginnings, I suggest many ways in which you can not only move past the fear and embrace the change, but come out on the other side better and stronger than ever. Below are seven suggestions for moving through any life challenge.

1. One Day at a Time. If you are feeling overwhelmed, it's time to change time zones. When you stop stewing over the past and fretting about the future you will suddenly find that your challenges are much more manageable. Focus on what you can do in the moment each day, here and now. When chaos is swirling around you, your normal routine will become a stabilizing force. Just getting up, getting dressed, and going to work can provide you with a sense of comfort. Naturally, there will be some routines that change with your transition, but try to hold on to as many as you can so you don't lose your footing entirely. Every change brings something new and beautiful into your life. Simply do the best that you can every day and take time to be kind to yourself. Go slow. Rest. Eat well. If you had the flu, you would make time to heal; it's no different in cases of the heart and soul.
2. Why...Not. I get it. I for one have an almost obsessive need to know why something happened, because I don't handle ambiguity well. But I've learned the hard way that the answer is not always what I think it is, and it sometimes takes months or years to discover why I went through what I went through. I have also come to realize that many of my perceived failings were simply that: perceived failings. And sometimes transitions just can't be analyzed and thought out. Someone telling you that everything happens for a reason usually doesn't help; even if it does, it doesn't help you move past it. Often, there is no logical explanation and it doesn't really matter why it happened. Let's face it: life is not fair. And if you really want to know what you did to deserve what happened to you, the only answer would be that you were born. You can't change the past; all you can do is learn from it and move on.
3. Be Optimistic. A shift in perspective can work miracles. I know it's easier said than done, but try to focus on the positive aspects of this life-changing situation. The healing process has a beginning, a middle, and an end. You will get better. You will survive. Saying affirmations by rote won't help, but if you can find one that resonates with you, stick with it. Some thoughts to help you through a troubled time may be, "This too shall pass," or, "I know things will get better," or, "When life gives me pits, I plant them and grow cherry trees." Anything that helps you look at the bright side and move through the crisis is beneficial. Remember that God's rejection is also God's protection.
4. Listen to Your Intuition. Your intellect is how you process your challenges, but your intuition is how you will experience them, and ultimately walk through them. Knowledge can help you understand the pain, but it's your inner voice that will guide you towards the wisdom you will gain from it. No matter how subtle the changes and shifts you are going through may seem, you must sit quietly and listen intently to your gut reactions. When you don't know what to do next, your internal guidance system will naturally lead you to the next step, whether or not it seems logical at the time. Let your heart guide you. It generally knows what's best for you long before your brain does.
5. Don't Force Yourself to Heal. Being in a transition of any kind is a process. You can't walk around it, or slide under or over it; you have to move through it. Some people will fight the process tooth and nail, so they can hurry up and get to the other side. You can try that. But eventually your psyche will fight back, usually by becoming angry or depressed, anxious or physically sick for much longer than necessary. Accept, and if possible embrace, the changes you are encountering. They are all part of the body's natural healing process. You may think you know what stage you are in within the transition, but then again, maybe you don't. The unsettled feelings that come with transition are uncomfortable, but you can't jump ship at the first sight of land. You want to plant yourself firmly on a solid foundation and not a sinking island. Allow yourself to mourn meaningfully. You might as well do it right the first time.
6. Take Time to Go Inward Every Day. Surrender to the fact that the Universe may have a better plan for you. Take time to allow yourself to make room for miracles to happen. It doesn't matter what your faith may be, but it is imperative that you seek the still, quiet voice within. Grieving your old life, even in minor transitions, is to be expected. You are simply letting go of all that was and all that might have been. This is normal and an important part of the healing process. If possible, write down your feelings and then write some more. Journaling is so cathartic during life transitions; it is good for your soul to release your churned-up emotions.
7. Find Support. If you start to feel as if you are no longer in control; have a history of emotional difficulty; or find that you are turning to drugs, alcohol, or other abusive substances, it's time to reach out and get help. There is no shame in asking someone to help you maneuver the bumps you will encounter. Asking for help is not a cop out, or a sign of weakness; in fact, it takes a great deal of courage to ask for assistance when you need it. Also, finding others that have gone through a similar loss can provide a great deal of support and guidance. Just remember that anyone can offer you advice, but only you know what is right for you.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2014. All rights reserved.

Last year I moved back home after living in a city that was not a good place for me to be. I'm back in my hometown, but it doesn't feel like where I am supposed to be living either. It's like I can sense that there is a place that would feel like a good fit to me, a place that would feel comfortable and like home. I'm planning on moving again this year, but I don't know where I want to go. Is there some way I can tune in and figure this out? Are there signs I should be watching for that can lead me to the right place? Thanks a bunch!

- D.

Dreamchaser:

I can easily relate to your situation, as I have moved around quite a bit myself. Sometimes a place felt good and sometimes it was horrible. I also lived in a city that sucked my soul dry. Fortunately, I have returned to the Deep South where I belong!

Your hometown is a good pit stop for you. You can rest there. You know your needs will be met and you know you have people around you who support you. That is exactly what you and your soul need right now.

I suggest that you start to make a list (on paper) of what you would really like to have in a new place to live. List everything you want, no matter how small it may seem. Keep adding to the list every time you think of something new. Also, every time you add something else to your list, read through the list in its entirety.

By doing this, you will start to create it. You also need to ask the Universe/ God/ whatever-name-you-prefer for what you want. Speak your wishes out loud. Ask for clear-cut signs. Continue to do all of these things on a daily basis. It could take a while if your perfect place is not available yet or if you need more "down time" before you move on for some reason.

I created where I live now, and it's is the perfect place for me. When I was miserable in the city, I would ask for things like a big backyard full of birds singing all day long, and I sure do have that! I have all kinds of wonderful species of birds in my big back yard. They sit in the trees and sing all day.

That may seem like a miniscule detail when you are making a list in order to create a whole new world. However, it is a wonderful blessing now that it has come to fruition. So be sure to ask for everything you want, no matter how small it may seem.

When you ask for signs, you will get them in so many different forms. There is no one in particular I can tell you to look for. You will hear things in songs, in passing conversations, on television, in books, and pretty much everywhere. You will start to hear or read the same thing over and over again. You will start to notice "coincidences" and synchronicities.

Once you begin to notice those, then you can move on to the next step of how to make it happen. Again, if you ask for help from the Universe, things will start to fall into place. When we are in the flow, everything just flows.

If you speak your wishes out loud, write them on paper, and reread the entire list when you add something new, you will witness the incredible creative power of words in your own life.

I wish you the ability to create the home you desire.

*****

Astrea:

Given the high price of gasoline right now, going on a "road trip" to explore the right location for you is probably out of the question, though that would be a great adventure and a really fun way to determine where you want to live.

There are so many spiritual ways you could approach this decision. One of the easiest ways is to consult your astrology chart.

There are cities and towns that are especially beneficial for specific signs. For instance, New York City is a good place for Fire Signs to find love, while Pisces women would be better off in Albuquerque, New Mexico, or Paris, France!

If you ask a good astrologer, he or she will be able to tell you what cities and towns would best suit you based on your birth chart. Remember to always supply the time and place of your birth, for the time of day you were born is the MOST important element for determining the right location for you.

You could also try using a pendulum. Tie a key to a pencil and hold the pencil flat on your palm, palm to the ceiling, with the weight hanging between your middle and ring finger. (Any key will work, but a house key would be ideal.) Hold the pencil above a map of the area of the world you think you'd like to live in.

Allow the pendulum to swing back and forth over the map. Close your eyes (your hand will move automatically, don't fight it), and when the pendulum stops, open your eyes and you'll see one of the places that may work best for you.

Some tarot readers can find places for people. Sometimes I even get the names of streets in a certain city from my cards. I believe that Nancy Garen's "Tarot Made Easy" includes locations in the cards' meanings. If you're interested in learning tarot, that's a good book to own anyway.

A numerologist can also suggest the best locations for you by taking your name value and adding it to the value of different places until you find a spot that "adds up" for you. You can even choose the numbers on the street you wish to live on if you want to really personalize your choice.

If it's an apartment, you may be able to choose which number, and in some cities, you can even request a specific telephone number. It would amaze you how often the numbers people request are available! Numbers offer their own kind of protection, and should be chosen carefully before you go to the trouble of moving again.

I'm sorry that moving home didn't work out for you. I feel that your Guides and Angels got you there when you needed to be there, however, and now they'll help you move on to a wonderful new adventure!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.