KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

No Pain, No Gain? 3 Body-Mindful Practices to Get Yourself Off of the Hamster Wheel, by Jennifer Kreatsoulas, PhD and Robert Butera, PhD

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Yoga philosophy teaches that we have everything we need inside of us to tend to all of life's moments, from the happiest to the most challenging. When we slow down, get quiet, and pay attention to our personal wisdom, we can gain tremendous clarity about what we need to improve a situation, make a decision, or solve a problem. In other words, all the answers we seek exist inside of us already; we need only trust in our ability to access them.

This philosophy counters our overly stimulating, consumer-driven culture. As a society, we are conditioned to look outside of ourselves for answers, seeking external validation for our decisions, feelings, and dreams. We are taught to go faster, push harder, buy more, follow others' advice, keep up with trends, chase an ideal. The well-known expression, "no pain, no gain" perfectly captures the social belief that it is necessary to suffer or work hard to be successful. As such, many of us find ourselves in a constant state reaching outside of ourselves to prove our worth. All the striving weakens our connection to our inner wisdom, especially if we do not carve out time daily to pause, get quiet, and all our inner wisdom to reveal itself.

The History of "No Pain, No Gain"
Thanks to Jane Fonda and her popular aerobics videos in the 1980s, "No pain, no gain" has become much more than a household phrase; it has become a social attitude and cultural mindset, a moral code of conduct and measure of a person's work ethic. Pain equals progress, and without pain, success counts less. Accomplishments are evaluated in terms of how much a body can withstand and a mind can endure.

"No pain, no gain" invokes a spectrum of desirable attributes that have become associated with the fitness, athletics, diet, beauty, and fashion cultures, from intensity, focus, and determination to sacrifice, self-denial, and punishment. Related slogans, like, "Just do it" and, "Beauty is pain" are intended to be motivational and inspirational and to push an individual toward a goal that is usually physical in nature.

Although these days, "No pain, no gain" is associated with personal achievement, especially in the sports and fitness arenas, a form of the expression, "According to the pain is the gain" (which appeared at the beginning of the second century in Pirkei Avot: Ethics of the Fathers, part of didactic Jewish ethical literature), taught that spiritual gain is impossible without the pain involved in doing what God commands. The versions of this slogan that appeared in the 1500s and 1600s ring of the familiar modern connotation, which emphasizes that suffering is essential to progress and that hardship and achievement are inseparable. In his 1758 essay "The Way to Wealth," Benjamin Franklin, in his persona of Poor Richard, stated, "There are no gains, without pains," to explain the maxim "God helps those who help themselves."

Ancient Greek thought may be at the root of many fitness slogans that have been reinterpreted in the modern era. All armies from the dawn of time would endure pain and show no sign of weakness to their enemies. Valor on the battlefield was meant to demonstrate not just the willingness to fight when the odds of survival were low, but to fight with courage and dignity. Hence, "No pain, no gain" was an attitude used in military training to prepare for the ultimate potential use of one's life for the sake of one's tribe.

Embracing A New Mentality
The normalized cultural meanings of "No pain, no gain" can be internalized in different ways. For some of us, the slogan truly is motivational and even helpful. But for others, the message might lead to feelings of inadequacy or a need to push past healthy limits. Even if commonly accepted phrases like "No pain, no gain" are popular, they may not be body- or life-affirming.

How do you relate to this slogan in your own life? Are you comfortable affirming yourself or do you find that you need to always strive to prove yourself to others? Do you feel compelled to work hard all the time, or do you give yourself permission to take time to turn inward and let go of being in a "doing" state?

If you find yourself on the "no pain, no gain" hamster wheel, we invite you to incorporate one or all of these visual and auditory body mindful practices into your life. A yoga practice is any activity that guides self-awareness. A body mindful yoga practice adds the dimension of purposefully tuning into self-talk and intentionally using self-affirming language to change your brain, uplift your mood, and ultimately, improve your sense of self. Our book Body Mindful Yoga includes a variety of mental, physical, auditory, and visual practices designed to help you establish an awareness of your inner dialogue and incorporate body mindful language into your life with the intention of improving self-confidence. Over time and with diligent practice, the kinder words will become more readily accessible, and the less kind words won't be as quick to show up.

These three visual body mindful yoga exercises are less language-intensive and more sensory-focused, giving your brain a rest from hard work while nourishing your senses and restoring your energy.

1. Spend time in nature appreciating the colors, sounds, creatures, and mysteries of the natural world. Practice watching yourself observe what you see and hear without judgment. In turn, observe your self-talk as it bubbles up, and practice matching the neutral observing you do of nature with that of yourself. For example, "I see a red bird" is a neutral observation statement. Through practicing neutral observation with nature, you can begin to practice it with yourself.
2. View paintings, drawings, statues, and other pieces of artwork that inspire positive feelings. Notice the colors, textures, and other fine details that capture your attention. What unique qualities do you appreciate about these artistic pieces? If a work of art is especially pleasing to your eye, consider using it as a point of meditation. Gaze at it first thing in the morning for an allotted period of time as you recite your mantra, affirmation, or prayer.
3. Watch or listen to lectures, presentations, movies, and plays with messages that reinforce a healthy mindset toward your body and self. Music also fits in nicely here. You can create a playlist of music that is uplifting and inspires self-confidence and empowerment.

Doing these practices regularly will not only help restore balance to excessive working and striving mentalities, they will also help you reconnect with your inner world, offering you time and space to listen to your thoughts, notice your emotions, and appreciate the world around you. You deserve these few precious moments to unwind, reset, and simply be.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2018. All rights reserved.

I was born 12/22/56. I'm in a transitional phase of life right now, especially regarding my 20-year marriage. I can't seem to move forward. One day I know I need to leave, and the next day I feel it would be disastrous for the family. Help! I'm going crazy! Is it possible that I'm torn because I was born on the cusp of two very different signs?

Kathryn

Astrea:

I will probably make you mad, but the truth must be told. You're right; you are in a big transition, maybe the last chance transition of your life! It's not just having a birthday on the cusp but also your particular birth date that is causing you inner conflict. You were born at the closing of the year, and Yule is a confusing time for everyone.

It's true that people with cusp birthdays usually have dual characters, which can make it difficult to get rid of clutter in their lives. Yes, a husband who doesn't make you happy qualifies as clutter. It sounds shocking, but you know in your heart it's true.

Your description of your situation is pure Capricorn. Capricorn women complain to high heaven about being unhappy but will do very little to remedy that unhappiness. Am I making you mad yet? Mad enough to DO something?

This guy has had 20 years of your life! Do you really want him to get more? The family isn't a good excuse, for you will only disappoint them more by staying where you don't feel happy and fulfilled. Most of the family members you want to stay miserable for are so self-involved they don't really know what is going on with you. They don't appreciate what you're doing for them or know the sacrifices you've made to keep everyone together.

What will they learn from you doing that? Capricorn women are great at finding a way to hang in there and survive, but do you really want to just survive? The Sagittarius in you is screaming for freedom and the possibility of happiness. She doesn't want to stay in an unhappy situation - she wants out because she wants to LIVE.

That Sagittarius part of you is trying to assert itself. You're finally hearing it, but are you really listening? If you let it, the Sag part of you will save your life. If you know deep down that you need to leave, then it's time to go.

You are indeed conflicted, for you have a lovely, giving, nurturing Capricorn inside who is really stuck, and a wild, crazy Sag who is yearning for fun and excitement. Your heart is calling you to live your own life for you, not for others.

You've done your best - I know that, Darlin'. Twenty years is long enough to give someone second, third and fourth chances. Of course your husband doesn't want to lose you. You've always done your best to make him the happy one, but it's time for you to please YOU now!

Please un-ground yourself for a moment Capricorn. Remember that fire needs air to burn, and quit smothering your inner fire. I hope you're mad enough to really make a change!

*****

Susyn:

I can understand your frustration in not knowing which direction to move. Finding yourself in a life cycle like this can be maddening, for the more effort we put into determining which direction to move, the more confusion we tend to feel.

When we find ourselves embroiled in this kind of struggle, it's usually because we are going back and forth between being heart-centered and intellect-centered. One day you might feel in your heart that it's time to leave, and the next, your head is coming up with all kinds of reasons you should try to stick things out.

When we try to decide something this important on our own, we tend to sit endlessly on the fence, unable to move in any direction. Once we can turn the choice over to Spirit and become willing to follow our intuition, however, a clear picture of what we need to do next begins to emerge.

As you turn this situation over to a higher source for resolution, you can simply request that if you are supposed to leave your marriage, doors will begin to open and you'll have the strength to walk through them. If it is not yet time to make this kind of change, ask that the Universe block your movements and take away the desire to leave.

It may be that you are looking for an action to take without having searched for the deeper reasons you are unhappy. If this is the case, you will be unable to move forward until you have explored all aspects of what is behind your desire to leave.

Being born on the cusp between Sagittarius and Capricorn is not the reason you are having trouble making a decision, though people born with a mix of two zodiac personalities do usually carry traits of both signs. While your Sagittarius side insists you be fair, nurturing and balanced, the Capricorn part of you will be determined, headstrong and prone to making decisions and sticking with them.

This combination usually indicates a person who does not make decisions lightly, who reviews all aspects of their choices and considers how their behavior will affect all the people involved. Once a decision has been made, however, someone with a mix of Sagittarius and Capricorn will usually move forward.

To clear up this confusion, you must let go of the idea that you are responsible for making this decision by yourself, and ask a higher spiritual source to help you come to some sort of resolution. Once you surrender to all of the feelings and thoughts you are having about leaving your marriage, the Universe will begin to work on your behalf and lead you in the right direction.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.