KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

3 Ways Yoga Changes Your Life for the Better, by Ally Hamilton

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

I'd been practicing yoga for fifteen years, and teaching for about twelve, when I found out I was pregnant with my first, my son. His conception was not without its efforts, some of which included acupuncture for a year with the requisite nasty-smelling tea, temperature charts and peeing on sticks, a trip to the Maori healers where my uterus was essentially rolfed by a friendly giant named Papa Joe, and finally, a visit to a fertility doctor who concluded quickly that my estrogen levels were a little low. The first time I went to my mat after my positive pregnancy test, I stood in tadasana, connected to my breath, and thought, "Okay, I have to be gentle, there's someone in here counting on me."

It was as if the sky parted and the gods of compassion, or all that is right with the world, yelled down, "Are you f&%*ing kidding us???!" I was well-versed in the eight limbs of yoga, had been trying in earnest to live in line with the moral and ethical foundation of the practice for well over a decade, had completed a dozen different trainings with well-respected teachers, and attended four different 10-day silent meditation retreats, along with my own daily practice. The idea that it took my pregnancy to wake me up and make me realize I needed to apply these principles of kindness, awareness, and honesty to my own practice was alarming to say the least. I thought, "Wait a minute. What am I saying? Why do I need to remind myself to be gentle when I get on my mat? There's always someone in here counting on me. Me!"

That moment changed the way I practice and the way I teach, and, I think, the way I move through the world. The wonderful meditation teacher Jack Kornfield has a quote: "If your compassion does not include yourself, it is incomplete." I understood that until I learned how to be kind to myself for my own sake, I really wasn't going to "get it."

That moment began the second phase of my own practice, and shifted everything for me. The moral and ethical foundation of the yoga practice is known as the Yama and Niyama. They make up the first of the eight limbs of the practice, and they are known as the "shalls" and "shall nots;" they're like yoga's Golden Rules. The very first one is "ahimsa," or non-harming. I'd been vegetarian for years at this point in an effort to live in line with that idea, and made a daily practice of examining my thoughts, words, and actions, but the quality of my internal dialogue was still brutal. My loud inner critic hadn't quieted down much, and that is where I began. Below are three ways I've noticed that yoga changes your life for the better.

1. Yoga gives you the tools and the power to starve a loud inner critic and develop an inner cheerleader instead.
   When I'd get on my mat and find it was a day when I was low on energy, or feeling tight, or when the balance wasn't there, I would starve the voice that said, "You suck! Get it together! Work!," and replace that nastiness with a loving voice, one that rooted me on and reminded me that I'm human, and therefore sometimes tired. I was shocked at how often I had to do that, and realized it was an all-day undertaking. If I took a left when I should have taken a right, that unrelenting voice would pipe up and say, "You're such an idiot! You have no sense of direction! How many years are you going to live in LA before you get it together?!" Then I'd shake my head and replace that with, "You grew up in New York City. You never drove regularly until you moved to LA at the age of twenty-nine. Give yourself a break, breathe, and turn around, Chief!" For whatever reason, my loving voice calls me "Chief," "Tiger," or "Sport." These are names I would not like if someone else was addressing me, but they never fail to make me take myself less seriously when I say them inside my own head. You are free to try them out for yourself if you, too, have a loud inner critic, or come up with your own, but I think nicknames help.
2. Breathe (Yes, it's that simple!)
   There are all kinds of tools we use in the physical practice, and they all relate directly to our lives off the mat if we take them there. For example, the breath is the foundation of the physical practice. "Pranayama" means breath control; we slow down and deepen our inhales and exhales, but in order to do that, we have to pay attention to our breath. The beauty there is that our breathing is always occurring in the present, so if you're noticing your inhales and exhales, you are in the now of your experience. Also, breathing deeply calms the nervous system. The act of becoming aware of your breath and then taking control of it makes you present and calm, and that's something you can do anytime. You can do that while driving, or talking to your partner, children, and friends. You can do that while walking, or sitting in front of your computer. Awareness of breath is like a superpower we just don't use.
3. Focus
   Additionally, each pose has a focal point, or "drishti," a place where we direct our gaze. There's a saying: "Where the awareness goes, the energy flows." When you train your eyes on one point, you also focus your mind and your attention. We live in such a fast-paced, crazy world where people try to multi-task all day, but then nothing gets done particularly well. We want connection, but then we show up for lunch with a friend and find we can't focus. Or we set aside two hours for our children, or for our partner, or our passion project, and then find we're checking our Facebook account, or answering texts that really aren't pressing.Left to its own devices, the mind loves to time travel. It will pull us into our past, often with feelings of longing or regret, or drag us into our futures, frequently with anxiety or fear about events that may never come to pass. We really don't want to live in a constant state of anxiety or depression, but unless you train the mind, it's hard to avoid that. We're also wired to worry. "Negativity bias" is something we've carried forward from those days when we had to be on constant alert so we wouldn't be eaten for lunch by a saber-toothed tiger. We can handle short bursts of stress, like the kind we'd experience if we had to run from said tiger, but we don't do well with prolonged stress. However, we still seem set on focusing on all the things we don't have, and all the things that could go wrong, and now instead of tigers, we worry about money, or our relationships, or all the things we don't have yet that other people do. Stress creates dis-ease in the body. You can raise your blood pressure just by thinking about terrible things that may never happen. Your nervous system does not differentiate between an event that's happening or one that you're creating in your mind. Being able to "pick the mind up" and choose one thought over another is one of the greatest gifts you can give to yourself. Picking thoughts that are going to strengthen you rather than weaken you is a skill well worth honing.

It can be confusing when you see yoga represented through pictures. It's very hard to photograph a person's process, so you might look on Instagram, and see someone in a bikini on a yacht in Bali with her ankle behind her head and say, "What?!? If that's what yoga is, it doesn't apply to me!" But, yoga is about so much more than the poses. It's about tuning in and facing those places within you where you still have healing to do. It's about developing a breathing practice so you can lean into difficult emotions when they arise, and therefore know yourself. It's about strengthening your intuition, which makes decision-making so much easier. It's about witnessing your reaction to confrontation, and practicing self-compassion, so you can offer compassion to others. Yoga is a way home to yourself, so you can offer up your gifts, and create a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling. There's not a "happiness formula" that works for everyone, but yoga offers each person the ability to find her or his own way, and ultimately, if we want life to feel good, that's a journey we each must take.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2016. All rights reserved.

I am very psychic and am able to communicate with spirits. Recently I foresaw a tragedy: my best friend is going to be killed. I have warned her but she doesn't believe me - she thinks I'm just trying to impress her. I don't want anything to happen to her, so how can I get her to listen to me? I've never been in this desperate a situation with my abilities before. Love to you both!

Bethany

Dreamchaser:

Bethany, you have just hit on one of the hardest things for anyone who has the sight. When people find out I'm a psychic, they usually say, Wow, what a cool job! I just smile and nod, for they have no idea!

Psychics don't deal with people when they are happy and content - we hear from them when they are most scared, angry or desperate. We also get to tell people what is coming up in their lives, and sometimes those things seem tragic.

It is not your responsibility to make your friend listen. All you can do is tell her what you were told. Whether or not she listens is up to her.

I do realize how desperate you must feel in this situation. She is your friend and you want to help her, but she won't listen to you. Unfortunately, we can't make people listen, and even if they hear us, we can't make them believe what we say. It's a bit like parenting 13-year-olds: They think we don't know what we're talking about, and whatever we're worried about certainly will NOT happen to them.

The best thing you can do in this situation is ask that your friend be protected. You can also ask that her life be spared. (It never hurts to ask!) I ask for all sorts of tiny little things in addition to the BIGGIES like Please do not let my friend die!

It's up to the Universe and her life path what happens from there. You fulfilled your responsibility and you did your job, and you really can't do any more than that.

I will tell you that even though she is acting like she doesn't believe you, and of course she doesn't WANT to believe you, she did hear what you said. It's bouncing around in her head. You planted a seed, and it's sprouting.

Often whether we're dealing with clients or friends and family, all we can do is plant that seed. We have to say what we know and them let them sort things out for themselves. We ALL do that.

Years ago, I had someone tell me that a relationship would only last four years and then it would be over, and I would be the one to end it. I couldn't even FATHOM that happening, so I didn't believe it.

Well, she was right, and that experience taught me a very valuable lesson. You have to trust that you are planting seeds. It's not your job to water them, fertilize them and weed the garden - you're just the seed planter.

You also have to trust that the Universe has a higher plan. Sometimes it doesn't line up with what we think is best, but life does unfold as it needs to regardless of what we think should happen.

Try to relax about this by finding a way to trust that whatever is for the highest and best is what will happen.

I wish you peace with your foreknowledge of this and similar situations.

*****

Astrea:

We've all heard lots of stories about people who were visited by a loved one or relative who was soon to be departing this world. In addition to the things that come up for us professionally, most of us psychics have had personal experiences of a similar nature.

Since your concern for your friend is rooted in your established psychic ability, she deserves to know if you feel she is in mortal danger. So while this may be very difficult or unpleasant for you, I think in a situation like this, you have to tell. To remain mum and then have something awful happen to her would be the worst thing ever for you.

It's so difficult to express something like this to another person. I'm sure many people would be quite resistant to someone (even their best friend) telling them that they've had a psychic vision of their imminent death.

No one wants to hear that they're going to die. Even though we all know our time will come someday, it's not something most people want to think about or be reminded of. So your friend's disbelief may simply arise from her own denial or resistance to the idea that she will die someday.

By warning her about what you see in her future, perhaps you'll be able to prevent her death. I'm sure that's why you told her what you saw. If she's been your friend for many years now, then perhaps once the shock wears off, she'll come around and believe you in time to save herself.

If someone told me something like that, I might tell them they didn't know what they were talking about, but I would certainly take some precautions to keep myself safe, even if I only did it out of respect and consideration for that person's feelings for me.

If your friend can't accept what you've told her yet, that's okay. All you can do is give her the message; you can't force her to believe it.

As I see it, you are really up against a brick wall here. If she was a child, you could try to lock her up and keep her out of harm's way, but since she's a grown woman, she has to live her own life until it's over. If part of her karma is not heeding your warning, there isn't a whole lot you can do about it.

In situations like this, all you can do is listen to your heart and be the best friend you can be. Then you have to release this matter. You can't control what she does or how she lives her life because you can't be with her all the time or watch her every move.

For now, you have to be strong for her by standing behind what your psychic senses are telling you, and also watching out for her as much as she'll allow you to. Of course, you can also keep her in your prayers.

Don't lose your friendship over this, for whether or not your prediction comes true, we will all die someday, but our love for each other will never end.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.