I'm 29 years old and have a big problem: I'm stuck in a sort of limbo. I was in mental health treatment for 20 years and on medications that damaged my body, mind and spirit. I was abused and abandoned. I never knew love for most of my life. My first understanding of gentleness came through my domestic partner three years ago. I have been re-examined off of medication and tested completely within normal limits. I have no mental health issues aside from post traumatic stress disorder, mild anxiety, and delayed social development due to a lack of exposure to people. No need was found for the damaging treatment I received for 20 years. I am blocked from moving forward due to emotional/physical scars that will not heal. I'm upset with those who did this to me, and I don't understand why. I have no legal recourse due to the statute of limitations. I'm crushed that I can't make this right. I'm poor and have a lot of medical problems I can't afford to treat. I'm too sick to work and may never be able to. I want to heal but I just can't seem to keep my head above water. I can't get how this could be moral, let alone legal. My soul knows to move forward but subconsciously I can't due to the unresolved past. How can I resolve this so I can move on? Any help would be welcomed.
Refuse to be discouraged and take comfort in knowing that things are finally getting better for you. Soon you can begin to follow your holy calling to help others, which is why all these terrible things happened in the first place.
In your celestial incarnation before this lifetime, you must have agreed to let these awful things happen to you. You wanted to understand completely what it is to suffer like that so that you could help others heal. The Light is a holy calling, and it's on you as much as your own skin. Don't deny this gift.
Certainly what was done to you was immoral, illegal, and just plain wrong. As I read your letter again, I was struck with a feeling that you haven't exhausted all your legal avenues. Even if you can't file criminal charges against the people who did these awful things to you, maybe you can take civil action and hit them where it will hurt them the most - in their wallets.
Of course, money is not going to take away all your pain - you must discover what will within yourself.
A common therapy is to confront those who have done us wrong. If you choose this as part of your recovery, do it in front of a witness like a friend or police officer. Confronting wrongdoers sometimes helps us find peace and forgiveness. Even if you can't forgive them, please stop blaming yourself for what happened.
If you don't feel ready for confrontation, write them a letter spelling out exactly how they caused you suffering. Tracing the chronology of all you went through will also help you recover your strength and energy.
Even though it may be very hard for you to trust anyone involved with the medical profession, do not stop therapy! What happened to you is too extreme for you to resolve it alone. You are going to need lots of support as you grow stronger and learn to trust your own judgment.
There are other people who are suffering from past hurts just as deep as your own. Those people need your help. During the next five years, I can see you and your therapist writing a best-selling book about your personal experiences and your healing journey. This will bring you not only a big financial reward, but also the peace your soul is longing for.
Others will begin to come to you for help with their own healing, and you will find a sense of purpose for your life that will make you happy beyond your wildest dreams. Open your life to the God-force that is so strong in you. Your survival depended on that holy force, but now it can be the source of your happiness.
I'm sorry for all the difficult experiences you've been through, and can understand your anger and resentment for the way you've been treated. You are correct, however, when you say that you must resolve and move past these experiences in order to heal and create peace and happiness for yourself.
First of all, I would continue to look for someone who may be able to help you legally. Even though the statute of limitations has elapsed, there may be lawyers who would accept your case on a contingency basis, especially if these events happened when you were a juvenile.
In the mean time, there are a number of ways to stop the feelings of fear and powerlessness that tend to consume your days. I imagine that your ability to trust has been greatly damaged, so it's time to find a spiritual group or practice through which to work on that particular issue.
Buddhism has many ways to help you restore and reconnect your inner spirit. The Nichiren sect of Buddhism focuses on restoring one's power, changing one's karma, and in the process, releasing the past. You may want to research groups in your area and find one that can provide you with simple chanting practices. These have worked like magic for many people, myself included.
Keeping a journal and working with a therapist will also help you clear the past and let go of your anger. This is essential, for as long as your past haunts you, it will continue manifesting as health problems or a feeling of hopelessness.
Keep in mind that we all have karmic destinies to experience in this lifetime, and as difficult as they may seem, these events are designed to make us stronger. Often when these situations occur, the person involved will find themselves becoming an advocate for others, so you may want to seek out a support group and focus on helping other people who have suffered. In this way, you can turn your hardships into valued assets instead of just lamenting them.
You could also pursue an astrological or psychic reading on these experiences, as this could give you a powerful new perspective on them or answer your questions regarding why you had to go through all of this. These types of readings will also give you information about your future so you can relax and not concern yourself about anything like this happening to you again.
Finally, rest assured that things will improve from here on out, for it sounds like you have finally reached a place where you are ready to release the past so you can move into a much brighter, happier future.
Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.
Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!
While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!
I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!
As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.
I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.
You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!
Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.
A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.
You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.