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    • Reiki: An Unconditional Love

      by Raven Keyes

      (Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

      I'm blessed to have spent the whole of my career as a Reiki master in venues one might label "the establishment," such as operating rooms with renowned New York surgeons, and even standing next to Dr. Oz. My book, The Healing Power of Reiki, chronicles some of my personal stories about what it's been like to bring Reiki into the mainstream. In it I describe giving sessions in the locker room of the New York Giants and behind the barricades of Ground Zero after September 11th, but there's one important story that didn't make it into the book. It was still in the process of unfolding when my final manuscript reached its turn-in date, and though I couldn't have imagined it at the time, the tale even now continues to unfold. What you are about to read has taken place over the whole of this year, a journey of hope, courage, strength, and love. With my heart wide open, I share with you the amazing tale of My Reiki Valentine.

      When Cassandra and I first met, we weren't thinking about the fact that Reiki is unconditional love. When she walked into my office, it was because she had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and her surgeon, Dr. Sheldon Marc Feldman, Chief of Breast Surgery at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Columbia University Medical Center, had sent her to me. From the beginning, Cassandra faced up to her illness with surprising gratitude. You see, she had no symptoms and found out quite by accident that she had cancer. It had been discovered when she was hospitalized for something completely unrelated. The cancer showed up in her blood tests, and before she knew it, Dr. Feldman, whose work is legendary, was performing biopsies. It was discovered that her disease was quite advanced. When he told her about the Reiki option, she readily accepted and we began a journey together that was quite "rich" as she has recently described it; rich in many ways, all of them extraordinary.

      Because of the kind of breast cancer she had and the amount of disease present, it was decided by her doctors that she would undergo several rounds of chemotherapy before having surgery; this meant that she would be having eight chemo sessions, each three weeks apart. For all those months, Cassandra came to me on the Wednesday mornings before her Thursday chemotherapy session. She called it, "her one happy appointment."

      To say Cassandra and I became friends is an understatement. We were warrior women together! Our conversations before and after sessions during her chemotherapy odyssey were extraordinary—it's incredible to get to know another woman's heart under these circumstances. It was during these talks that I was able to tell her that Reiki is unconditional love from the universe, the power that heals. She connected her own love to this truth. The Reiki sessions we had together were powerful—she saw colors, she felt sensations, she flew, she slept! Her side effects from the chemo were kept at a minimum. But what was truly remarkable from my point of view was that her spirits were always high and she was never distressed.

      That is, except for when we got to the weekend before her surgery. With her chemotherapy rounds completed, her surgery was scheduled for Tuesday, February 14th—Valentine’s Day. All the plans were quickly put in place—her brother would fly in from the Midwest to care for her after the surgery and the flight he was able to get so last minute would have him arriving while she was still in the operating room. Her niece was coming to take charge of our personal belongings while we went into the mastectomy with Dr. Feldman, which would be followed immediately by re-constructive surgery performed by Cassandra's plastic surgeon.

      On the Friday before the scheduled procedures, Cassandra was called and told that her pre-surgery blood test showed that her blood was too weak from all the chemotherapy and that the surgery might need to be postponed. She called me, very distressed to say the least. I promised her that I would do distance Reiki over the weekend with the intention of building up her blood. The distance healing session I conducted was very powerful for the both of us, and it worked like a charm. When Cassandra went in early on that Monday morning for a final blood test, her blood levels were improved enough for the surgery to go forward. So we had our date with destiny on the day of love.

      I remember clearly the moments as the surgery got under way. I was sending Reiki into Cassandra with my hands placed across the top of her head while sitting on a stool next to the anesthesiologist; I was behind the sterile field clipped high above her head so I wouldn't have to see what was going on. I could hear Dr. Feldman quietly pointing out to another surgeon on his team that the size of the tumor was still quite large, in spite of the rounds of chemotherapy. He mentioned how important her next phase—radiation—was going to be. For the rest of the surgery, which was long because of all the plastic surgery that was required following the mastectomy, things went along as usual. It wasn't until the surgery was completely over that I got the scare of my life.

      Waking up the patient is the responsibility of the anesthesiologist. Once Cassandra's surgery was over, everyone prepared to transfer her to post-op, but she wasn't waking up. Long minutes were passing without her coming around. The operating room cleared out of all personnel, except for the anesthesiologist, who called for another doctor to assist—and me. The doctors were shaking Cassandra with force, over and over, calling her name, and still she wasn't waking up. Their conversation was terrifying to me: "I didn’t give her very much narcotic; I don't understand this," said the one who had overseen the operation. "Maybe she had a stroke on the table. I think I'll give her a shot of…"

      "No, not yet," said the other doctor.

      This was the moment in which I found I had overcome my aversion to seeing blood. I marched right through the blood on the floor, took Cassandra's hand, sent Reiki through her palm, and called to her. "Cassandra, come back. The operation is over," I implored. I held my breath. "Raven," she croaked as her eyes started to slowly open. I cried. Cassandra has a memory of this. She remembers that she heard people calling her, but she didn't want to come back, because she felt she still had things to do in that other place where she was. It was my voice, and the love we have for each other, that brought her back. And, of course, the power of the unconditional love that Reiki is. I can't imagine I'll ever have a more heartfelt Valentine's gift—the gift of Cassandra’s life continuing on as part of mine!

      There were complications involving the radiation treatments, but eventually they were done and Cassandra recently received a clean bill of health from all of her doctors.

      Cassandra told me that she was "taken" with Reiki and that she wanted to study it, so we began her Reiki training together; she just recently took the final step in her Reiki studies. This past weekend, she completed her training with me and is now a Reiki master herself. I have no words with which to express what this means to my heart. And I can't begin to imagine how many people Cassandra will help, as a survivor of breast cancer, filled with the healing power of the unconditional love that is Reiki.

      Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2012. All rights reserved.

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    • Double Vision: When Your Family Holds a Grudge

      7-im-nov

      I’ve got a family situation I hope you can shed some spiritual light on. Two years ago when my father was terminally ill, I questioned the way one of my siblings was not helping. She would visit then conveniently leave before it was time to bathe Dad and get him to bed. Because my husband and I live next door, we were expected to be there, and 99 percent of the time we were. We helped without question and without complaint. In fact, we moved here specifically to take care of him, and we never shirked that duty or regretted our decision. Anyway, on one occasion I asked my sister why she couldn’t stay to help, and since then, I’ve been rejected by my family. They don’t invite us to family functions, they don’t wave when they see me, they have family holidays and parties without us. Spirit tells me to just get over it and I’m trying, but it’s hard not to be hurt by their actions. My mother should be the take-charge person who tells them to grow up, but she refuses to say a word. She’s a Libra and is too wishy-washy to take a stand. I have tried to extend the olive branch, but with no luck. I’ve invited them here and they don’t respond or never show up. I’ve emailed to tell them that we should just let bygones be bygones and start fresh, and the very next email I got was from my sister, who said in no uncertain terms that I am no longer allowed to buy her child a Christmas gift. This is crazy! I’m an Aquarius, and the siblings involved are one Leo, one Pisces and one Libra. Any insight you could provide would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

      Grace

      Dreamchaser:

      Grace, there is so much more to this story than you had room to mention in your question. It goes back to your early childhood and continues from there. The truth is that, obviously, lines have been drawn in the sand.

      I do have a suggestion: Stop trying. You and your family are never going to get along. You never have, and you never will. You feel used and abused because you were the one who took care of your dad, and you feel that the situation there is indicative of your whole life. You feel like you have had to do everything while your sisters just ran around doing whatever they wanted to do.

      Do you really want to go to family functions? I think not. When you were invited you sometimes would not go, and you complained about the ones you did have to go to. So take this situation as a gift, for now you do not have to show up and you can do your own thing.

      You see your mother as wishy-washy, but she really is just being a Libra. She is trying to find and maintain balance, not only in the family, but also inside of herself. She can’t stand how the family has turned out. She is not going to take sides, however. She understands both sides. You only understand your side, and your sister only understands her side. Your mother can see more clearly than you give her credit for. You are angry with her for not taking your side. You feel like she has done this throughout your life. This, however, is the straw that broke the camel’s back.

      Obviously your entire family has shared much drama and trauma, and for things to work, you all would need to do a few things. First, individual and family counseling is highly recommended. Second, everyone (including you) is going to have to get over themselves and their egos and get real. You think you are 100 percent in the right, but in truth, every other family member feels the same way about their own stance, so you have a whole pack of indignant people thinking their way is the only way. Since the whole family will never go to counseling and never admit that their stance may not be perfect, I think you should choose to just stop trying.

      You have friends who are wonderful to you, and you are happy in your life. Why do you need to let family make you miserable? Just because someone shares our blood does not mean we have to like them; sometimes those people hurt us the most. I think that is the case with your family. Accept how things are, and seek grace and happiness outside of your bloodline.

      I wish you balance in your own life.

      *****

      Astrea:

      Family dynamics are difficult to understand. Your family is being very small and petty. They are jealous of your ability to be so giving and capable, and of your relationship with your parents. They wanted stuff from your parents, but they didn’t want to do anything to earn it, so now they are too embarrassed to face you.

      It’s easy for them to pretend to be angry with you and to shut you out. You remind all of them that they did nothing but shirk their duty to help you take care of your dad. I’ve seen this happen in families over and over again. It is horrible for you and your husband. Your sister pulled a power play in the family to cut you out of everything, and she did it out of pure spite.

      If you really only mentioned this once to your sister, they were all just looking for an excuse to cut you out of their lives. The others look to her (and always have) for leadership. They are sheep. They fear her because she has your mother so fooled — plus they still want their stuff. Your sister has made it clear to them that anyone who sides with you will be cut out of everything. She is so controlling and manipulative that all of the others are afraid to cross her, for fear she will cut them out of the family too.

      I’m glad that you understand your mother’s passive Libra attitude. She can’t bring herself to create any conflict, even on her own behalf. She is so afraid that something might happen to you, and the rest of them would desert her, and you know what? She’s right! If you aren’t there, the second that she is too old, they will slam her into a nursing home as quickly as possible so that they are able to take over! While it’s hard to keep being so unappreciated by the rest of the family, you can soothe yourself with the knowledge that at least you love your parents enough to do the right thing.

      Spirit is telling you to get over it. That is exactly what you need to try to do for now. Don’t worry: When your mother can no longer care for herself, they’ll expect you to do that too, so they’ll have to include you then. At that time, you can decide if you want to let these selfish, mean people back into your harmony.

      The saddest part of all this is that I know you love them all. I wish they knew the value of that love too. Some of them will realize, as time goes by, that at the expense of your life and happiness, you paid for their freedom from worrying about your folks. For the ones who don’t, well, there is always the next incarnation!

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