- The Power of Body LanguageContinue reading →
The Power of Body Language, by Richard Webster
(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)
Understanding and using body language gives you a powerful tool that will improve your life in many ways. You can observe the body language of others to determine their moods, motivations, and feelings. You can also use body language to project whatever it is you want others to see. If you feel nervous and insecure, for instance, you can hold your head high and stand straight to convey an image of confidence. Other people will assume you are confident, and because your body is expressing it, you'll feel confident, too.
We all use body language unconsciously. If you meet a friend unexpectedly, you'll know instantly if he or she is happy, sad, angry, frustrated, or irritated. This is easy to do with friends and family, but you also constantly read the body language of strangers. You might notice someone in a shopping mall and know right away that he or she is feeling sad. Have you ever started to approach someone, and then hesitated or moved in another direction? Without a word being spoken, the other person's body language told you that it wasn't a good time to interrupt him or her. It's usually a simple matter to tell if someone is happy, even if he or she isn't smiling. You can probably tell if someone's smile is genuine or forced. You can sometimes tell from the person's body language if he or she is lying, or telling the truth. If you've ever noticed people freeze in terror, tremble with rage, shrug their shoulders, tap their fingers, raise an eyebrow, stiffen their upper lip, flush with embarrassment, or raise their chin, you've observed, and probably interpreted, their body language. Consequently, you, like everyone else, are already good at reading body language.
However, even though you possess these skills, good is not enough. Imagine you're a salesperson, and you're subconsciously sending out a message telling people that you're not approachable. You may have a habitual scowl on your face, and not know that it's turning people away. It's a simple matter to remedy that, and if you did, your sales would immediately increase. As a salesperson, you know that you need to gain rapport with your customers to make a sale. Certain body language techniques, such as mirroring the customer's posture, and listening with your eyes, are good ways to gain rapport.
You might be looking for a partner, or maybe just a date. Your chances of success will improve if you look happy and keep your arms and legs uncrossed. Crossed arms and legs create a barrier, and subliminally tell people you don't want to be approached. Salespeople learn techniques to make people uncross their arms, because they immediately become more open when the barrier has been removed. I find it fascinating that the biggest problem people have when seeking a partner is an inability to recognize the non verbal messages that are being sent to them. They either misunderstand them, or fail to recognize them. Speaking generally, women are better than men at picking up messages of this sort. If you study body language, your chances of getting a date improve enormously.
A few months ago, I met a friend for lunch. I knew she'd been finding it hard to get work, but all the same, I was surprised at how despondent she looked when she came into the restaurant. After ordering her a drink, I asked her how she was getting on.
"It's so hard out there," she told me. "It's almost impossible to get an interview, and even when I do, I can tell right away that they're not interested in employing me."
"Maybe you're sending out the wrong vibes," I said. "I saw you come in from the car park. You looked down in the dumps. What do you do when you get an interview?"
"I'm just me, I guess. I get nervous, and find it hard to give good replies to the questions they ask me."
When I found out she had an interview coming up, I offered to teach her a few body language tips that would make her feel more confident and at ease during the interview.
"Some may seem almost too obvious," I said. "Naturally you should appear happy, smile, and make good eye contact. When people are nervous, they find it hard to appear positive. You also need to start doing this before you even enter the building. You have no idea who may be watching you arrive. Stand tall, keep your head up, and walk with a sense of purpose. If you do that, you'll feel more confident, and that will carry on throughout the interview."
"That wouldn't fool anyone," she said.
I laughed. "Funnily enough, it will fool you. When you start acting in a confident manner, you'll feel confident, which means you'll be confident. When you're confident, you'll be able to sell yourself well at the interview."
We discussed a number of other ideas she could use to help sell herself at the interview. As it turned out, she didn't get that particular job, but she was excited when she spoke to me about it.
"I felt so different in the interview," she told me. "I kept both feet on the floor, sat upright in my chair, and kept my hands in my lap. I felt relaxed. I even asked questions, something I've always found hard to do in that sort of situation."
She also observed the body language of the person interviewing her. "I noticed his hand gestures, and how he nodded his head slowly when he wanted me to keep talking. He leaned forward and smiled frequently. I know why he did all those things now. It's funny—I never noticed things like that before."
It took her two more interviews before she was offered a position, and by that time she'd lost her fear of interviews. She's now observing her own, and other people's, body language everywhere she goes.
Knowledge of body language is useful in every area of life. Bodies really do speak louder than words. Once you've learned the basics, you can use your knowledge of body language to charm, captivate, and influence others. Other people will find you more approachable, and your dealings with others will be smoother and more successful than ever before. You'll feel in control in any type of situation.
Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2014. All rights reserved.
- Double Vision: Things disappearing?Continue reading →
I have had a strange thing happening lately with things disappearing. Last night I stopped at a store to buy a small item and couldn't find my debit card. I searched my purse and the pockets of my jacket, but no card. Then when I got home, I searched through every place I thought it might be (including my purse and jacket pockets again), but no card. This morning I got up and searched again. There it was in my jacket pocket! Any idea what's up? I have had other things disappear, and I thought my ex had keys made to the house and was coming in when I wasn't here and helping himself, but now I'm not so sure. I would appreciate any feedback! Love and blessings to you!
- Deb
Dreamchaser:
Your question made me laugh because this happens so often to me and it always drives me crazy. I know this happens to LOTS of other people as well.
We all have a whole hoard of spiritual beings around us. We have one main guardian angel, one main human spirit guide, and one main animal guide at all times. At other times, we have teaching guides. We also have helper entities.
I liken it to a television show. All we can see when we watch that show is whatever is happening on the sound stage; we don't see all the hustle and bustle backstage to get everything ready. We don't see the camera men and the production staff. Like that show, we have all these entities scurrying around behind the scenes, working for our benefit.
As far as your missing debit card, this is no doubt a "behind the scenes" phenomenon. I know you say it was a small item, but for some reason, you were not meant to use your debit card at that moment. I know it makes no obvious sense, but if you were one of those actors on stage I was referring to, you would not be able to understand the job of a production assistant, nor would you care. You would only be focused on your own best performance.
Like that show, you have to try not to focus on the "production staff," and instead, focus on doing your own best in each moment. I know that's easy to say, but you have to have some faith in the process. Spirit REALLY does know what is best for you, even if it makes no apparent sense at the time.
These entities we are speaking of often like to make themselves known. An easy way for them to show their presence is to mess with electricity. They will turn electrical items (lights, televisions, DVRs, etc.) on or off, or switch stations. They also like to move things. That is another way that they can leave their mark.
It happens to me SO often. I am incredibly organized and everything has a place. When something is NOT in its place, I look around and say, "Please bring it back" to the air. It will "mysteriously" appear again later that day or the next.
As far as your ex goes, I suggest you change the locks on your house. That way you'll know he doesn't have a key. I changed the locks on my doors recently. It REALLY is not that hard. You can do it yourself if you want to.
What is happening is REALLY normal. If you speak to your spiritual production assistants, they will hear you and help you!
*****
Astrea:
If your house is anything like mine, you have some Spirit Energy there that disrupts the normal order of things. This isn't your imagination or your ex coming into the house and helping himself. I checked for ghostly activity in poltergeist form, but nothing comes up. This is probably a case of Iby Infestation.
Ibys are tiny little creatures who get a huge kick out of making disruptions in our lives. Ibys have specific functions within their Units. There are Artist Ibys who leave the tops off the tubes of paints and squeeze them from the middle. There are Kitchen Ibys who hide your good dishes and silverware. There are Music Ibys who put extra dots on the notes or rests in the measures of sheet music. There are various types of Automotive Ibys, who plague mechanics and drivers alike.
Yours are probably some kind of Money Ibys, because they keep you from using your debit card, hide your keys so you can't go to the store, and misplace money that you've been hiding "very carefully away." Money Ibys are some of the most difficult to get rid of, because they are more evolved than your everyday garden variety troublemakers.
I also sense that you're experiencing Homebody Ibys, who are an offshoot of the Underground Race of BogusBogus. These Ibys work in tandem with your Money Ibys to keep you from going out. If you have pets, they are probably whispering to them too, to try to keep you at home. Yours have personalized their little terrorist tactics. You have at least a full Unit of the Ibys in your home. Taking a debit card from a coat pocket would take at LEAST a squadron. It's time to take some Anti-Iby action!
The best way to get rid of Ibys is to bake or buy a birthday cake. Ibys LOVE birthday cake. The more decorated the birthday cake is, the better. It doesn't matter if the cake comes from the grocery store or your kitchen, but it does have to say "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" on it for the Ibys to go for it.
On a Friday night, cut the birthday cake into four pieces and place it outside in the four directions: North, East, South and West. Leave a door and window open just a crack (Ibys are small), and they'll go outside and eat the birthday cake. Once they're in a sugar-induced stupor, the Iby Battalions will disband and move on to their next victim, leaving you and your house alone.
You'll know they're gone because things will stop disappearing right away!