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How to Begin the Process of Change, by Jenny Mannion

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Simply hearing the word "change" can bring up resistance. We are taught from the beginning that change is hard, and we will sometimes resist change with all our might even if we know that what awaits on the other side would be much healthier for us. My goal as a healing practitioner, author, and mind-body mentor is to make change not only easy but fast and accessible for all. I outline it in more detail in my book, A Short Path to Change: 30 Ways to Transform Your Life, but wanted to give you a jump start here in what is needed to begin your journey. Below are ten tips to help you get started.

1. Be Kind and Patient with Yourself.
   As I mentioned, change will bring up resistance. Affirm to yourself you are safe and want the best for yourself and that it is safe to bring these changes into your life. Your ego will resist and try and keep you in that same space, because it is there to keep you safe. Know better! Know that you can move beyond that place, and that once you do—as long as you are moving in a direction that is in your highest good—the Universe will open up to support you. Patience is key in this path to change, as you might have what we conceive of as "set-backs." This is a part of the process, and as long as you remain kind and patient with yourself, you will ultimately keep moving forward.
2. Love Yourself.
   When I mention this to my clients, almost every person asks me how it is possible to love themselves. We are not taught to be kind and loving to ourselves; rather, we are taught to focus on other people. While being loving to other people is wonderful and important, we need to also treat ourselves as we would like others to treat us. We would not berate someone we knew was trying their best to attain a goal; we would support them, give them hugs, advice, and love, and tell them they could do it. The same is true with yourself. As you begin to become more present (more on that in the next step), self-deprecation will most likely come up. Love yourself enough to know you are indeed worth these changes. Claim your self-worth and self-love. Look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you love yourself and want the best for yourself. Yes, it will be very uncomfortable at first, but it gets easier—I promise!
3. Become Present.
   Begin to notice your thoughts. Are you repeating a lot of negative comments and thoughts to yourself? Do you believe what you are telling yourself? Sometimes we repeat negative thoughts and words that we do not even believe because someone else—perhaps even as long as a decade ago—once said them to us. Know that once we become present we have the power to change the way we are thinking to reflect what we want and what we are now. We do not need to live in the past or to worry about the future. We need to be present and begin to notice where we are now to even have an inkling of where we might like to go.
4. Learn to Forgive.
   Self-forgiveness and the forgiveness of others is necessary to move forward into positive change. If we are unforgiving of something that happened in our past, we are keeping ourselves tethered to it and are unable to move forward. If we feel someone has wronged us, and that that is why we are in the predicament we are in, we are labeling ourselves a victim—which makes us feel disempowered to move forward. Forgiving does not mean that you are happy with what occurred. Rather, it means you are no longer going to let it keep you from being present and ultimately creating the life and change you desire. There are tools to make forgiveness easier that I go into in A Short Path to Change, but for now just set that intention for forgiveness of yourself and others and visualize how that feels and how your life looks if that anger or angst was suddenly removed from your life.
5. Assess Your Influences.
   Take a look around you. With whom do you spend time? What music, media, and other entertainment do you surround yourself? Is it positive? Do you feel empowered after spending time with those people or doing those activities? Look around at your living space and/or office. Is it cluttered, or is it free and airy, thereby allowing energy to flow and more to enter? Starting to become aware of what influences your energy is key to owning what you will allow into your energy and setting healthy boundaries.
6. See Yourself as More Than Your Body.
   In A Short Path to Change, I go through exercises to get you to feel more connected and to experience each chakra. We are so much more than our bodies. Our bodies give us clues to our well being and what might be out of balance. Getting quiet and tuning in and acknowledging that we are indeed more than our bodies is a good first step toward feeling and knowing it. There are many ways to tune in, from meditation to energy work, and each is a tool to help you know and feel within every pore of your being that you are indeed so much more than your body. Begin with your hand on your heart and the affirmation, "I am much more than my body and am able to create lasting change," and see how that feels.
7. Gather Tools that Bring You Joy and Peace.
   There is no one-size-fits-all in growth and change. We are all beautifully unique, and because of that, different tools will work for different people. Know that even if a tool works today you might choose to use another or resonate with another at a later date; it is all fine. The only one who will judge your use of the tools is yourself. And we've already learned that we need to be kind, patient, and loving to ourselves in this process—no judgment needed! Examples of these tools include walks in nature, laughs with friends, meditation, exercise, energy work, writing, dance, educating yourself on something you have wanted to learn, and so many more. Each tool you gather supports you. If you fill your toolbox when you do have a challenge you will have a huge supply of tools from which to choose.
8. Process Emotions.
   Up to this point you may have been running on "auto pilot." As you begin to become present, emotions might rise to the surface and there might be a tendency to keep them down, as they don't feel good. Emotions are meant to be processed. Why are you feeling the way you are, whether you are sad, angry, upset, or disappointed? Our emotions give us clues so we can get to know our inner selves. Squashing them down or repressing them can cause dis-ease. Likewise, letting them take us away and being overwhelmed by them without looking at them does not help us to understand them or ourselves, either. The next time you feel a strong emotion, be it joy or fear, look at it and ask questions around it. Thank that emotion for signaling you and letting you feel so deeply.
9. Understand Fear and Worry.
   Fear and worry do nothing but hold us back and keep us scared about the future. Noticing and paying attention to what is surrounding that fear and worry is key. Understanding and also imagining more positive outcomes puts different energy into the Universe, and brings other possibilities into our reality.
10. Be Grateful.
    Be grateful for all you have and are, and for this journey. We have the power to change, and that in and of itself is something for which to be grateful. You are working on yourself and have that intention for positive change—another thing for which to be grateful. If we spent half the time we do berating ourselves on being grateful for ourselves, all we do, and everything in our life, just as it is—life would become magical. Gratitude is the most powerful tool for change that I know. Spending a few seconds or minutes each a day becoming present to reflect on what you are grateful for in your life and in yourself can make change appear effortless.

This is a quick list of how to bring quick and lasting change into your life. For more tools, tips, and exercises, please check out my book, A Short Path to Change: 30 Ways to Transform Your Life. I know change is possible, not only because I transformed my own life from one of sickness and disease to one of health and happiness beyond all measure, but also because I have seen countless clients of mine do the exact same thing. Be kind, loving, and patient to yourself in this process as you use these tools and give yourself tons of gratitude for each step taken.

Thank you so much for reading! I wish you all the best in your short path to change!

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2016. All rights reserved.

Ever since my brother passed away a year or so ago, my DVR will turn on and off by itself. It will even try to eject or play a tape when there isn't one in it. Sometimes I will say, "If this is you, then do it again," and it DOES! I miss my brother so much. Do you think this is him trying to contact me, or is it my imagination? Have you ever heard of anything like this before?

- Collette

Dreamchaser:

My favorite part of your question was when you said, "If this is you, then do it again," and it happened. Despite this, you're still wondering if it is your brother. OF COURSE it is your brother!

The easiest way for spirits to contact us is through electricity. Spirits, after all, are energy. They have ways of manipulating electricity and making their presence known. It happens with the ghosts in my house all the time.

One evening I was sitting at the table with my son doing homework, and the stereo turned on all by itself. We just looked at it and he said very calmly, "Excuse me. I am trying to do my homework," and turned it off.

On my nightstand in my room, which is a loft, I have a touch lamp. You have to touch the base to get it to turn on. You can touch it once for low, twice for medium, three times for high and four times for off. I was sitting in another part of the house when suddenly, the light in my room turned on to high.

Then there are the times when the television turns on or off by itself, or I walk in the kitchen when I am the only person in the house, and the oven light is turned on. I could go on and on.

As you can see, it really is quite normal for spirits to manipulate energy. I think that most of the time when it happens in MY house, they are just trying to play with us and/or get our attention.

This is what your brother wants: your attention. He wants you to know that he is there and that he is alive in another form. He absolutely wants you to see it and believe it. He also used to like to play practical jokes on people. He loved to watch their reactions. He's still like that, so this DVR trick is right up his alley. He loves your reaction.

He does wonder, however, why you don't pick up on everything else that he does. He messes with lights all the time. Your lights will go off, on, or flicker by themselves. He also has learned how to make your phone ring. He could only manage one ring for a while. Now he can actually get it to ring until you answer it, and there is nothing but static sound on the other end. He is quite active around your house.

You can also FEEL his energy around you. At times you feel that if you turned around, he would be standing there. His energy is that tangible to you. Please believe that energy. It REALLY is him in spirit form, standing in the same room with you. All of these jokes he is playing on you are his way of telling you to stop grieving. He is not gone. He keeps stressing that point to me and to you via his activity around your house.

I wish you acceptance of life in its various energetic forms.

*****

Astrea:

I often hear about this kind of thing happening. Often when people we love and are very close to cross over, they will find a way to show us they are all right. This is especially true of those who depart at a young age.

Your brother was a big prankster when he was alive, so he has decided the best way to get your attention is to work through your DVR. He knew that you would recognize it was him trying to communicate with you.

For spirits, electrical current is an easy way to travel. It takes less effort for HIM if he can come to you through wires that are already humming with energy to feed the DVR.

One reason he has taken this subtle approach is he doesn't want to frighten you. You're lucky there. His only reason for producing this kind of manifestation is to let you know that he's all right, that he's with you from time to time, and that he misses you (which feels very different for the people THERE than it does for us). Even though you can't hear him talk to you yet, he can hear YOU. He hears everything you say to him.

He's not trying to frighten you or seek revenge on anyone or anything like that. Nothing negative can come from him and certainly doesn't have any negative intentions. He's just trying to let you know he's there to help you if you need him.

Sometimes it's so difficult to let go of someone we love that we keep calling that person back to us from Heaven over and over again. They never get any rest, and they can't move on to be a part of the Complete Whole Spirit, which is God.

I don't feel, however, that you are doing this. Your brother is lingering because he decided to keep all of you company until the pain of his passing subsides. If you're not afraid they'll think you're nutty, ask other family members if they've had anything like this happen to them.

It might not be the DVR for someone else. My Big Daddy used to enjoy turning lamps on and off at regular intervals. Granny likes to turn the light from the stairs off when I'm about halfway down.

A tidbit of warning here: spirits come and go as they will. You'll NEVER know when he'll turn up, and no matter how ready you are, it's ALWAYS a little disconcerting. I have a friend who comes in my studio and taps me on the shoulder if I'm there alone. Even when I think about this on my way out to the studio, and feel I am prepared, I always COME OUT OF MY SKIN when he does that! Making us jump must be part of the fun for these spirits. Don't think you're being a big baby when that happens!

If you're still not convinced this is your brother, buy another DVR. The same thing will happen with that one, too. 🙂