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4 Simple Steps to Commune with Your Ancestors, by Mallorie Vaudoise

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Honoring your ancestors, like any practice that deals with spirits, is a lot like cooking. Anyone can do it, not just people with special training. (That's a big part of the reason why I wanted to write a book about it!) But whether you're an amateur or a trained professional, you still need to stay in the moment and use your senses—or you might end up burning something.

When you cook, you don't just put your food on the stove for ten minutes and trust that it's been cooked perfectly. Even if you're following a recipe and the recipe says, "cook for ten minutes," you need to watch the food change color, smell it as it becomes more fragrant, and maybe even taste it to know for sure.

Likewise, when you do something to honor your ancestors, you'll need to be able to sense whether that thing feels right—even if you’re following a ritual script. For example, you'll ask yourself, "Does this feel right?" when you place a new photo of an ancestor on your altar. If the answer is yes, you'll proceed. If the answer is no, you'll adjust. I call these quick check-ins, "discernment."

If you don't already know what "right" feels like, discernment probably won't be easy at first. Thankfully, once you do know what "right" feels like, it becomes so natural that it's almost effortless. But, before we can get there, we need to talk about feelings.

Feelings and Spirits
Do you like talking about feelings? For most of my life, I sure didn't. I didn't even like feeling my feelings. So, when it came to my spiritual practice, I did almost anything I could to avoid them. I immersed myself in a world of intellectualism and consumerism. I thought that if I read the right books or bought the right supplies, then magic would happen automatically. I wanted to think and buy my way out of feeling.

Then, I started to meet mediums from different cultural backgrounds, all of whom told me the same thing: that they felt the spirits with which they communicated. Felt them as emotions, as physical sensations, and as things that started as physical sensations but transformed synesthetically into words or images. This gave me new context for the unusual physical and emotional sensations I had experienced throughout my life. I wasn't weird. I was just processing spiritual information the way a medium does.

That realization raised the question: How would I know the difference between my own feelings, the physical and emotional sensations I experienced as part of "normal" reality, and feelings caused by spirits?

In practice, there doesn't seem to be a clear distinction between the two, maybe because they are both categories of subjective experiences. Or, maybe because we are spirits with a physical form. In any case, when it comes to discernment in your ancestor veneration practice, it doesn't actually matter whether the feeling originates from your own spirit or an ancestor's spirit because ancestor veneration is a two-way street. It needs to work for both sides to serve as an effective bridge between the two.

Step 1: Establishing a Baseline
To perform discernment, you first train yourself to observe your feelings throughout the day. This practice will help you establish your perceptual baseline, which will make it easier to detect when something has shifted within or around you.

There's no fancy trick to this. Just pause from whatever you're doing, take a breath, and scan your body. Do you notice tension or energy anywhere? Try to give that a name and a description, like: "I feel anger. It feels like my stomach is clenching." But, don't try to change it. Just observe.

Here's the catch: thinking is not feeling. The mind loves to convince itself that it can do the heart's job. It can't. So, if you catch yourself describing your thoughts instead of your feelings, or if you start describing what you "should" feel instead of what you actually feel, then shift your focus back to your body.

Step 2: Discernment
Now that you have established your baseline and know how to identify feelings instead of thoughts, you can start performing discernment. This is a litmus test you can use whenever you engage with your ancestors: when you're working your ancestor altar, or making offerings to your ancestors, or performing divination to seek their advice.

To discern on something, perform your body scan twice. If you're discerning on something simple, like making an offering, do your body scan before and immediately after you do the thing and observe the difference. If it feels right, keep it; if it doesn't feel right, undo it.

You can also discern on something more complex that requires advanced planning, like a ritual or a pilgrimage. First do the body scan once. Then, imagine yourself doing the thing in as much detail as you can. Then, do the body scan again. Observe the difference. If it feels right, go ahead with your plan; if it doesn't feel right, come up with a new one.

Step 3: How Does Right Feel in the Moment?
Your "right" will feel different from my "right." Your "right" in one moment will even feel different from your "right" in another moment. But, there are some general things to look for when determining whether or not something feels right.

First, ask yourself: Do I want to avoid my feelings by turning to one of the following common distractions?

• Alcohol
• Coffee
• Drugs
• Food (especially sugar)
• Social media

We compulsively turn to distractions as a self-defense mechanism when we feel something uncomfortable, so whatever it is you're feeling, it probably doesn't feel right.

Next, ask yourself: Am I experiencing one of the following inhibitory emotions?

• Shame
• Anxiety
• Depression
• Numbness

Like distractions, inhibitory emotions occur when we feel something uncomfortable. They are our body's way of shielding us from that discomfort. So, whatever you're feeling, it probably doesn't feel right.

Then, ask yourself: Do I feel any of the following things that are associated with having an open heart?

• Calmness
• Curiosity
• Connectedness
• Compassion
• Confidence
• Courage
• Clarity

If your heart is open, it's probably because you are in communion with strong, supportive ancestors who are sharing their affirmation with you. This is what we mean when we talk about something, "feeling right!"

Finally, ask yourself: What is my outlook on life right now? Do I see my present life circumstances, whether easy or challenging, as a lesson for me to learn from? Do I have faith that things will work out in the end, even if I don't know how they will work out today? A growth-oriented outlook, neither overly pessimistic nor optimistic, is a sign that things feel right.

Step 4: How Does Right Feel After the Moment Has Passed?
The most important part of discernment is how you feel in the moment. But, to confirm that feeling, look at what happens after the moment has passed.

Ask yourself: Am I inspired to do any of the following things?

• To connect with other people
• To help other people
• To seek help from other people
• To create art
• To enjoy art that has already been created
• To clean my home
• To nourish my body and the bodies of other people with good food
• To move my body in a way that feels good
• To volunteer or give to charities
• To go out into nature

All of these are signs that the connection forged between your ancestors and your own spirit has moved you in the direction of growth and healing. And that's definitely what feels right.

For even more ways to commune with your ancestors, check out my book, Honoring Your Ancestors: A Guide to Ancestral Veneration. The book shares techniques to help you connect to your ancestors. You'll learn how to develop your own personal style for honoring them through altars and offerings, seeking their guidance through mediumship, and invoking their power through ritual.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2019. All rights reserved.

I play guitar in a band, and the other night while we were practicing, something strange happened. It was late and we were all pretty tired and feeling mellow. We were working on a new song, and I was sort of experimenting with different chords and melodies when I started to play in a whole new style. For several minutes I played like a master! It was music I've never heard before, and I have no idea how I knew how to play it! It sounded more like classical guitar than the rock I usually play. Now I'm wondering if this is some past life memory, or if maybe I was channeling the spirit of a great guitarist. Ever since then, I seem to be able to play all sorts of new music at a higher level of skill. What do you think?

- Rob

Dreamchaser:

Rob, first let me congratulate you on discovering a new level of talent inside of yourself. I am SO glad you asked this question, because it lets me address something that I have wanted to explore here for some time now.

Everyone has some talent, hobby or activity that helps them connect to Spirit/ God/ the Universe/ whatever name you want to use. When we are connected to that energy, to that one source, we feel this flow of knowledge and energy that is like nothing else.

It's what I call being in the zone. It happens to me when I'm giving a reading, meditating or working out. It obviously happens to you when you are playing your music. We are some of the fortunate ones who get to earn a living being in the zone. So you are not only channeling past life memories from when you were a musician, you are also tapping into the energy of All That Is.

Imagine a river where every single thought, piece of information, piece of knowledge, and everything that IS flows without end. Every single bit of information that exists flows in this river.

Now imagine that you could go and stick your head in the water. By immersing yourself in this river of knowledge, you would gain access to all sorts of new stuff. THAT is what is happening when we go into the zone.

When you're playing now, you leave behind your ego and allow your soul to take over. You allow yourself to just BE. In that state of being, you have discovered this whole new level of experience.

It was there all along - you just had never allowed your mind to get out of the way so that you could access this incredible level of knowledge. Now that you have discovered it, it's becoming your new norm. That's why you continue to play at that new level with ease.

I love to go to concerts and listen to musicians who are clearly in the zone. I got to see Eric Clapton this past year, and I really enjoyed watching him leave this world for the zone.

He throws his head back, his mouth drops open, his eyes close, and he is GONE. Then he starts a 10-minute long, absolutely amazing guitar solo. I can see him ascending through these levels of musical knowledge as I watch him on stage.

I think if you continue to flow like this, you'll be able to access this same level of genius. Just enjoy riding the rapids of this river, for that's what all masters do.

I wish you great success and much happiness to go along with it!

*****

Astrea:

From your description of what happened, you could be channeling a musical spirit or remembering music you played in other incarnations. This could even be a combination of both factors.

Most great musicians and artists I know have indeed had past lives when they were involved in the kind of creative process they feel compelled to explore in this incarnation.

Given the discipline and creativity that go into becoming a great artist, most of us don't have what it takes the first time around. Of course, if you hadn't developed all the skill you have in THIS incarnation, you probably would not have been able to play so masterfully no matter who you were channeling.

If you don't feel that you're tapping into a past life, and you sense that you're being visited by someone who is trying to help you, be sure to find a way to thank that entity.

Perhaps you could make a small donation to a nursing home for elderly entertainers, or even volunteer once a week to help out. Find someone in your community whose life was spent in the music world who needs help with their home or their pets. Walk the dog, take out the cat, make them some meals. This will ensure that the gift you're getting keeps on coming.

Here's another possibility: perhaps you have a spirit guide who was a great musician in other lives. While playing like a master naturally takes a lot of practice, this guide is showing you how you could play all the time if you really apply yourself.

You wrote that this happened when you were feeling mellow. Being relaxed does open us up to Spirit, so try to recapture your feelings at the time this occurred. Remember how you were breathing, and how easy it all felt when this music flowed through you.

Personally, I'm fervently hoping that you were channeling my great friend Malcolm Brian Smith, who died of a sudden heart attack at the Texas Renaissance festival in 1997 when he was only 43. It sounds like you could be to me!

At first Malcolm worked through people he had known when he was alive, but since not many of them were very receptive to that kind of thing, he began to reach out to strangers. Now he's working through various living musicians to get the music out. (So are Jimi Hendrix, John Lennon and Mozart!)

Hopefully, you can tap into the feeling of channeling to help your musical career. Please try to record the music that flows through you at these times either electronically or on paper so that others can enjoy this wonderful blessing too.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.