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Re-Imagining the Holidays: 6 Ways to Resist Overabundance and Create Gratitude, by Sara Wiseman

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Are you dreading it, already?

You know…the whole shopping-gifting-cooking-cleaning-eating-drinking socializing-relatives-traveling season just ahead?

From Thanksgiving to New Year's, many of us get trapped in a cycle of overabundance—the state of having too much. As in: more than we can use. More than we can process. The cup not just full, but overflowing.

It's gotten worse in recent years, starting with Christmas decorations that go on display at Halloween to the frenzy of Black Friday. We've become a culture of excess and a society of waste, moving from the next new thing to the next…without ever taking the time to enjoy any of it. We have so much, and it's arriving so fast that we can't use or even experience it all.

This overabundance—having more than we really need—creates stress, lowers vibration, and zaps energy from mind, body and spirit.

Now, I'm all for abundance! I'm certainly not one to pass up on anything that brings pleasure or beauty or connection to my life. But when we become trapped in the cycle of overabundance—the endless circle of want, get, want, get—our lives fall out of balance.

Six Ways Overabundance Causes Holiday Stress
During the holidays, overabundance shows up in different forms. It's not just eating rich foods or excessive gifts, as you'd expect, but less obvious ways as well, including: too much socializing, complex family relationships, rigid tradition, and low vibration group thought.

Here are six areas where overabundance can create stress in your life:

1. 1. Overabundance of Food
      Rich, sweet, fatty holiday food lowers your physical vibration, which affects mind and spirit, too. If you work in an office or with a group of people, it's hard to escape the sweets in the break room! Alcohol from frequent social events adds to this mix. Don't worry about weight gain—instead, be focused on the energetic signature of the food you eat. Is it processed? Will it make you feel good? Does your body really want it? Pay attention, and don't let the season of indulgence lower your vibration.
   2. Overabundance of Gifts
      The cycle of shopping, buying, wrapping, giving, and receiving can be very stressful, even if budget is not a concern. The sheer energetic reality of involving ourselves with objects, or "stuff," can be overwhelming, especially when we understand that every object has its own frequency, vibration, or energetic signature depending on where it came from, how it was made, who made it, and so forth…this is a lot of new energy to add to your reality!Consider your energy as you decide how or if you will give and receive gifts this year. Consider your energy if you decide to do without, do less, or give experiences or to charity instead. Once you break the gift cycle, you will be surprised how free you feel.
   3. Overabundance of Socializing
      Office parties, school events, the annual party you've gone to every year for ten years…All of this has a certain clamor of "must attend" attached to it, when in reality, you can change plans, opt out, or do something different. Don't rely on what you've always done—you're a new person now, and you may want to try something different. Reassess every year.Introverts especially may need a lot of private time during this season; give yourself the gift of quiet and solitude.
   4. Overabundance of Family Relationships
      There's that saying: you can't go home again. And yet every holiday season, most of us continue to swim up river to our birthing place. Many times, the wounds, past hurts, and misunderstandings are still there. And because we're so busy during the holidays, we don't have time to work on our relationships with our family members. Understand that family karma is complex, and the stress of the holidays makes it more so. Be gentle with yourself and others. Have an exit strategy if things go awry. If it's just too much, opt out and try again another time.
   5. Overabundance of Tradition
      Just because you've always done it a certain way doesn't mean you have to do it that way now. This might include: going to a certain event, party, gathering, or church service; wearing certain clothes; decorating a certain way; eating certain foods; being with certain people; and so on. Break free from the rigid traditions your family has "always done" and see what else the Universe might have up its sleeve for you and yours!
   6. Overabundance of Group Thought
      Understand the power of group thought or collective soul to affect your mood. We've all seen what fear-based beliefs can do to collective thought: hate, violence, financial ruin, and war are all products of low-vibration thinking. During the holidays, mindless consumption is the culprit: everyone is stressing out on want, get, want, get. This creates enormous stress, and when this is done in the collective, everyone feels it. During this time, connect to your own higher self, God/One/All/Divine/Source, frequently and deeply. Use Thanksgiving and Solstice as markers for the season—times when you can easily dip into gratitude and joy.

The Joy of Doing it Differently: Releasing Worn Out Traditions, Creating New Experiences
For years, I traveled north for Christmas—packed up my partner, kids, dog, and a car full of gift-wrapped presents and hustled the I-5 corridor from Portland to Seattle.

The trip was no over-the-river-and-through-the-woods…everything about it was stressful! Traffic on Christmas Eve was difficult, at best. We were cooped up and restless in my mom's tiny one-bedroom condo. And we were stuck in the city, instead of out in the nature we loved. And yet, I gritted my teeth and did this trip for twenty-nine years because it was my family tradition.

Until last year, the Universe stepped in and simply said, "no."

Early that fall, I'd had two (successful) surgeries for cancer. But I was still in recovery, and by the time the holidays rolled around, the Universe started informing me, at first gently and then persistently, that I wasn't up for the trip.

What? Not go to Seattle? Not do the family trip? Really? Yet every time I asked for guidance, the answer came back loud and clear: No. Not this time. And so, after a very long family discussion, we opted out.

For the first time ever, we stayed home in Oregon for the holidays. We cooked a little food, and opened a few of gifts—inexpensive, silly things. We decorated our tree. We slept in late, and took long winter walks in the woods, and at night we bundled up in blankets on the porch and watched the winter stars move across the sky.

It was low-key, it was real, it was absolutely us…and it was one of the best Christmases ever.

Since then, I've let go of all the old ideas about how the holidays "should" be, and begun to recreate them as truly authentic celebrations—genuine expressions of gratitude for this amazing human journey. I've recognized the holidays for what they really are: holy days, outside of any religion, that ask us to go quiet and still as we give thanks for our lives. A beautiful time, filled with deep appreciation and joy.

I'll admit, it wasn't easy. It took a very active releasing of the cycle of overabundance in all its forms—food, gifts, socializing, family, tradition, and group thought—to allow this lovely clarity to shine forth.

In fact, stepping into this way of living authentically can be quite difficult at first—it may require letting go of tradition, from what the mainstream dictates. It might mean something as big as deciding not to visit home during the busy season. Or, it could be as simple as choosing to not indulge in holiday foods, so your body—and you—feel better. Or maybe giving only a few, inexpensive gifts. These decisions are yours to make.

When you allow yourself the freedom to create your holiday your way—not the one dictated by mainstream society, or handed down from your ancestors, but yours alone—everything about the season shifts.

Gratitude, which might have seemed the furthest thing from your mind in that cycle of "must dos" and mainstream stress, becomes alive in you again.

Most importantly, you begin to understand that overabundance isn't actually what you need—after all, you don't really require a cup that's overflowing. You just need a cup that's full.

Ten Ways to Jump-Start a Holiday Filled with Gratitude

1. 1. Travel outside of peak season, if you travel at all. Booking a flight Christmas Day instead of Christmas Eve is an entirely different experience.
   2. Limit gifts to small, inexpensive tokens. Or gift "experiences" instead.
   3. Make a bucket list of what you really love about the holidays: walking in the snow, sleeping in, watching Frosty the Snowman. Do these, and let the rest go.
   4. Graciously decline invites that no longer fit. A simple, "I'm sorry, we can't make it" is all you need.
   5. Sleep, rest, be still. It is winter, after all.
   6. Play cards, catch, dolls…connect with younger ones and your younger self.
   7. Sing.
   8. Revisit the holidays as holy days. Go to church, if that feels right, or a spiritual service in your community. Celebrate the Winter Solstice as an end of darkness and arrival of light.
   9. Give hugs, the best gift of all!
   10. Get emotional, feel it all, and celebrate, in your heart. Life is a miracle.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2013. All rights reserved.

My maternal grandfather disappeared in the 1930's and was never heard from again. My eldest brother thinks that we should try to find out what happened to him. I feel that this is futile and pointless. Mother died almost three years ago, and I'm sure she now knows now what happened to her father. However, I am curious as to whether it's even possible for a psychic to pick anything up on a disappearance that happened so long ago. What do you think?

- Chris

Astrea:

Of course it's possible for many psychics to discover why your Granddaddy disappeared so mysteriously. There are lots of different approaches you could take to get that information.

First I would find someone who can connect directly with him. When I try to do that, it's very difficult. I do get that he was very unhappy in life and felt that his loved ones would be better off without him. If you found a local medium adept at spirit communication, he or she could probably get more details for you.

Another approach would be to contact a psychic who works on missing people cases with your local police department. Most sizable law enforcement outfits have psychics they work with from time to time, even if they don't freely admit it.

A friendly policeman might turn you on to someone who would be able to help. Most of those psychics like to touch or handle an object the person owned during their life. If you have your Granddaddy's watch, that might do it. Dig around for things you might have that belonged to him.

I prefer to have cuff links when I'm looking at something like that. I don't know why, but they seem to open a window for me to the person who wore them - even if it was very long ago.

Or course, the most personal avenue would be to ask Granddaddy to come to you in your dreams and directly explain his disappearance. I'm sure he would love to meet you, though he's probably been watching over you and your family for many years now.

If he's anything like the mysterious members of my family, he's been anxious to have a chance to reveal the details of his vanishing ever since it happened.

Keep a notebook by your bedside table to write down what you remember about your dreams as soon as you wake up. It's very important to record our first impressions of our dreams right away so the details don't leave us. After all, details are extra important when trying to decipher mysteries like this one.

I know that this is a sore spot with a few members of your family. I understand some of them don't really want to know what happened for fear that it will disappoint them more, but it's important to trace all the family history we can.

Good luck to you and your brother, and don't worry - the information is there.

*****

Susyn:

Yes, it's definitely possible to find out what happened to your grandfather and account for his disappearance. Just as psychics can research past lives, they can uncover the whereabouts of missing people and events that occurred over 80 years ago. This is just one of many gifts you can receive in a psychic reading.

Though it's true that your mother now knows what came to pass with her father, the fact remains that you and your brother are still curious about what happened. I think for most of us, answers to mysteries, whether they are past, present or future, are most easily addressed via a third party who has the ability to connect to the person in question whether living or deceased.

You don't mention your grandfather's name, birth date or location, but my sense is that his disappearance was on purpose. I feel he chose to leave, though maybe not for the right reasons. Keep in mind that there was a depression going on during those years, and many people made decisions we would consider surprising or unreasonable today.

I recall my own mother talking about families who gave their children away during those years because they couldn't afford to feed them. To me that seemed like a very strange and astounding practice.

My psychic sense is that your grandfather became a drifter and eventually ended up on the West Coast, where he married again and started another family. Had your grandmother or mother done a little research, they might have discovered his whereabouts quite easily, but I don't believe either one wanted to know much once it became clear that he had abandoned the family.

It appears he passed away in the mid-seventies, and if you or your brother were to do an internet search of records at this point, you might be able to discover more exact information. It doesn't appear that he bothered to change his name, so researching people with that surname in the California area could net the information you're looking for.

The knowledge that you could have aunts, uncles or cousins out there somewhere could open doors to new relations you've not been aware of. Many times it's hard to see the gifts in the life challenges we encounter, but if we follow our hearts and use whatever means are available to us to seek further information, we are often led to wonderful discoveries and unexpected blessings.

I encourage you to follow your heart and intuition and see what you discover!

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.