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Dress for the Life You Want, by Tess Whitehurst

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Today, we get so many mixed messages about our appearance that we're often left with a, "damned if you do/damned if you don't" sort of feeling about the whole fashion and self-care thing. If you care how you look you might be called shallow, and if you don't care how you look, you might be called sloppy. If you're conventionally attractive, you're afraid of being disliked or belittled, and if you're not conventionally attractive, you're afraid of being ignored or ridiculed—and either can be used as an excuse for harassment. If you really look at it, you'll see that it's a torturous mind game that is grounded in both the media and fundamentalist religion, and I, for one, am tired of giving it the time of day.

In Tim Gunn's Fashion Bible, fashion guru Tim Gunn writes, "To me, dismissing fashion as silly or unimportant seems like a denial of history and frequently a show of sexism—as if something that's traditionally a concern of women isn't valid as a field of academic inquiry." It's true: looking within my own psyche, I can see quite clearly that the draw to adorn myself with things like sensual fabrics, sparkly accessories, and sweet-smelling fragrances is not a shallow desire, but in fact a sacred expression of my sexuality and my truest, most authentic essence. Indeed, archaeologists believe that even cave people adorned themselves with natural cosmetics and accessories all for the sake of naturally enhancing their attractiveness. After experimenting with embracing my draw to adorn myself (rather than judging it), I've discovered that to allow ourselves to feel shame for this inherent instinct puts us in danger of handing over a good portion of our personal power.

Furthermore, our mainstream culture operates under the illusion of separation: separation of form and spirit, seen and unseen, known and unknown. It's an illusion that we are taught from such a young age and that is hammered into our consciousness so thoroughly day in and day out, that it can sometimes masquerade as truth, like when western medicine behaves as if it's perfectly sane to treat the symptom while completely ignoring the cause. It's not so surprising, then, that something that manifests in the physical, visible realm (like fashion) would often be considered purely materialistic, with no redeeming spiritual or emotional value whatsoever.

The fact is that we dwell in one unified field of energy: although there is the illusion of duality, there is actually no separation between anything. It's just as it's described by the famous magical precept attributed to Hermes Trismegestus: As above, so below. Form mirrors spirit and spirit mirrors form, and neither is ever separate from the other in truth. Fashion, then, like placing flowers and incense on an altar to the Divine, can be a most sacred practice of honoring the infinite and invisible self with objects and practices in the finite, visible realm.

On a more personal level, I'm passionate about working with the magical side of fashion and self-care because I've found it to be such a potent tool of healing and transformation. Over the last couple of years, I've been dredging up some very deep and longstanding issues regarding my sexuality and the abuse I experienced as a child. Early on in the process, I discovered that I was in many ways neglecting to care for my physical body because of shame I had been holding onto that I previously didn't even realize was there. The way this manifested was that I didn't take the time to assemble a wardrobe I truly loved and I treated shopping and self care as annoying, totally mundane things on my to-do list. Becoming conscious of this detachment was the first step in my healing, and beginning to care and adorn for my physical body with love and reverence was the bridge to the other side. In this way, I began to re-establish—and discover an even deeper level of—wholeness. I began seeing the whole self-care/self-adornment thing as an opportunity to express love and acceptance of my body and being. This, in turn, strengthened my magical consciousness: that part of me that knows on an experiential level that all is one—sexuality and spirit, physical and non-physical, finite and infinite.

At this point, you might be wondering what I mean, exactly, when I say things like "magical fashion" and "conscious self-care." So, let me give you some more tangible examples of what I'm talking about by outlining some main points of my magical fashion practice.

Attend to Your Body Like a Treasured Lover
When we are deeply in love someone with whom we have a sexual relationship, we don't think, "If only his/her body were thinner, or curvier, or younger." We totally adore his or her body exactly as it is. It is sacred to us, because our lover is sacred to us. When we touch his or her body, we do so attentively and with great devotion. In the same way, our own bodies are sacred treasures. When we wash them, put lotion on them, and dress them, we can do so with the same kind of attention and love that we would give to our beloved. If we have been very harsh in our judgment of our body (as so many of us, unfortunately, have been taught to be), this can feel very painful at first as we bring these hurtful inner dialogues to the forefront of our consciousness in order to begin to dispel them and shift them. However, in time, as we continue to send love to our bodies—through our hands as we wash, for example, or as we select just the right fragrance or gaze at ourselves naked in the mirror—this pain will melt away and be replaced with euphoria and delight.

See Yourself As A Temple, Not a Clothes Hanger
For years, I inwardly berated myself for not looking better in certain things. For example, I never felt right in outfits entirely composed of satiny or solid-colored fabrics, but instead of not wearing them, I'd wear them and then feel far less than wonderful. Finally, I realized that my textured hair and skin are often much more appropriately flattered with textured and patterned textiles like lace and prints, which I also found that I felt great in. Along similar lines, we seem to receive the message in both subtle and overt ways that the whole purpose of the female body is to showcase clothes (for example through the sometimes spoken and sometimes unspoken assumption that a rail-thin body should be every woman's ideal)—and this is totally absurd! We are not clothes hangers! We're physical vessels of the divine! Thinking that we're here to make clothes look good would be like thinking that a temple is there to make the altar cloths look good. The temple is not a department store—it's a temple. Just like you're not a hanger, you're a divinity. The clothes are there to enhance and decorate you, not the other way around.

Express Your Essence
During my expansive self care journey, I have also had great fun seeing fashion as a way to get to know myself better, and to clarify and hone the message and energy that I'm sending out into the world. For example, I have a girlfriend who has a really wonderful talent for recognizing and naming one's truest, most divine inner essence. Years ago, she helped me to realize that mine was called, "The magical priestess." We were at a music festival at the time, and I spied a beautiful musician who was dressed in an exceptionally whimsical and feminine way. She captivated and fascinated me, and my friend said it was because she represented the "magical priestess" aspect of me. At the time, I wasn't dressed so whimsically. Now, though, as I've come to know and express the magical priestess aspect of myself more and more, my closet is filled with everyday otherworldliness. Over the years, my vision of the magical priestess aspect of myself has developed much more dimension and depth, transforming not just my wardrobe, but also the way I interact with the world and express my purpose as a devotee of beauty, harmony, playfulness, and love. (I have even had two separate psychics tell me recently that I was an incarnated fairy queen. You know, I can totally see it.)

To get to know your essence more intimately, though, you don't have to wait for a friend to give it a name. For example, you could try the following journaling exercise.

Without thinking too much about it, and keeping in mind people you know personally, people you've seen, famous people, and fictional characters…

1. List three people whose wardrobe you admire.
2. List three people whose wardrobe you secretly admire.
3. List three people of whom you're jealous.
4. List three people of whom you're secretly jealous.
5. List three qualities that describe you.
6. List three qualities that you wish describe you.
7. List three qualities that would describe you in your wildest dreams.
8. List three qualities that would describe you in your secret wildest dreams.

Often, we keep our truest essence secret from ourselves because we think that if we let it out, we'd be too embarrassing, or too silly, or just too much. That's why journaling exercises like these can help us bypass our shame and externally imposed ideas about who we are, or who we're supposed to be. Jealousy, for example, when we look at what it is exactly that we are jealous of, can often point to an aspect of us that we already possess but that we are not letting ourselves claim.

Once you've completed the brainstorm, see if you can ferret out some qualities that you can begin to express through your wardrobe as well as other aspects of your life, such as your art, activities, and hobbies. You might Google Image some of the people you listed and see what they're wearing and how they're carrying themselves. You might also consider what you would wear if you let yourself embody those secret or wild qualities that you mentioned. In addition to jotting down some of your findings and then keeping them in mind next time you take a trip to your favorite boutique or secondhand store, take at least one step in the physical world toward expressing your unique personal essence. For example, did you jot down that you secretly wanted to be more of an activist or rebel? See if there are any groups organizing protests against something you're against, and attend one of their meetings.

Magically Interact with the World
Dwelling at the literal boundary between you and the outside world, your clothes (and fragrance and makeup, etc.) can powerfully affect both your experience of the world and the world's experience of you. Simply being conscious and respectful of this fact, and keeping it in mind as you choose how to dress and care for your body, can make all the difference when it comes to living a happy and inspired life. When I dress in a way that "clicks" for me and helps me radiate my essence in a satisfying way, I'm more likely to make new friends and have nourishing and satisfying interactions with other people and the entire world around me. It's not at all about looking "good" or looking "right" so that other people will like and accept me, it's about feeling like myself so that I will feel at home in the world.

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2013. All rights reserved.

Even though I love nature and all animals, I've always had a very special sense of connection to cats. When I see one, I just have to stop and pet it. If I meow to it, it usually meows back to me, and sometimes follows me, purring and wanting to be petted. When I can, I will usually pick it up and hold it for a while. If a friend insults cats, I come to their defense as if they were my best friends, and I can't help but feel angry if they are misjudged. If I see a hurt or abandoned stray, my heartstrings tug at me, and if there's no way for me to help, I will say a prayer and ask the Universe to guide the cat. Even though I don't have a cat at home now because none of my other family members want one in the house, I know in the future I must have three or four cats to keep me company. I'm not sure why I have such an affinity to cats, and I'm curious to know the underlying reasons. Could this be related to a past life, to my spirituality, or to a life lesson I need to learn? I hope I don't sound too crazy! I was born on October 4, 1982, at 7:53 p.m. in New York City. Thank you so much for your time!

- Ana

Dreamchaser:

You don't sound the least bit crazy to me, but then, I am the "animal woman" who talks to every living creature that crosses my path, so maybe we both seem crazy to the outside world.

You have a number of things going on here. The first is that you have had cats as helpers in many other lives prior to this one. You were what some may call a "witch" in one life, and you had quite a few cats with you then.

I'm sure you're familiar with the idea that cats are spirits or "familiars" that accompany witches. Some even believe that witches can assume the form of cats.

In reality, cats have always been attracted to people with special "gifts." Cats soak up the negative energy around those people then go off somewhere and sleep off that energy. They are psychic protectors.

The second thing is that you had at least one life in ancient Egypt, when cats were considered very important "God-like" creatures. The law protected cats at this time, and anyone who harmed or killed a cat faced dire consequences.

Diodorus Siculus said, "Whoever kills a cat in Egypt is condemned to death, whether he committed this crime deliberately or not." When someone broke this law, the people would gather around him and kill him. The goddess Bast was often depicted as a cat, or sometimes she would just have a cat's head.

In this life, the Cat is your main animal spirit guide. You do not have to have an actual living cat around you to be able to pick up on this special energy. I think that is why you are compelled to defend cats so staunchly when someone is insulting them.

The cat is here to teach you things like love, independence, how to see the unseen, and how to fight when cornered. The cat will help you with meditation as well, so if you want to start, now would be a good time.

She will also come into your dreams and assist you there. I am quite sure that you have a lot of dreams that somehow involve cats.

I think it would be great for you to find a way to spend more time around cats. If the people you live with don't want one, then you could always volunteer at your local humane society, or find some other way to spend a lot of time with living cats.

Then study their movements and listen to them "speak" to each other, for this will really help you learn the spiritual lessons that cats have to teach you. We can learn from animals so easily, for their traits are simple and obvious, and easy for us to adopt ourselves.

That is one reason why humans and animals co-exist here. In this lifetime, a lot of animals (not just cats) will be wonderful teachers for you.

I wish you wonderful cat encounters, both in this world and beyond.

*****

Astrea:

I know that you adore ALL animals, for you Libras are well known for the love, compassion, and strong connection you have with other species. Many veterinarians are Libras - in fact, about a third of all the vets in the United States were born under that sign. That is one reason you are such an animal lover.

You very cleverly included your exact birth date with your question, and I found your chart FASCINATING! At first I didn't understand your cat connection because of the lack of balance in where your planets fall in your chart, but after studying the graph, or the "Sky Map" of your birth date, time and place, it was revealed to me why you have this uncanny connection.

Numerous aspects in your astrology chart point to communication with the animal kingdom. Part of this is due to the disappointments you have endured from other PEOPLE, but most of it arises from the nature of your own inner spirit.

You can FEEL what those little "furry snakes" feel in your own Heart. (Thatís what the Egyptians called cats because of how they weave in and out of our feet.) While most people communicate with kitties from the outside in, you connect with them from the inside out.

To discover your bliss, you really should consider working as an animal communicator with an emphasis on felines. I think if you did that, you would find that there is no cat too big or too small to speak directly to your spirit.

Lions and tigers and kittens (oh my!) could benefit from the work you would be able to do in terms of bringing them closer to their human "mothers" and "fathers." Now that the world is more accepting of the notion of animal communication, you could actually develop a well-paying career in this field.

You say that you know you'll have three or four cats later on in your life. Believe me, there will be a LOT more than three or four! I see you operating your very own "no kill" shelter, and placing over a thousand cats in terrific homes over the course of your lifetime.

The first step in this journey is for you to go back to school (sorry, Libra, it's your karma) to be come a Veterinary Technician. (Don't worry, that doesn't mean that you'll have to put anyone to sleep!)

When you're done with that, the perfect vet will come into your life, and you'll be off on an exciting and rewarding new career. Money to get that going will just fall into your lap, because your Guides and Angels (one is a Tiger, have you seen him?) will help you find it.

Your career will benefit two-legged and four-legged critters alike. Start researching this idea TODAY, and get started on your Life Path, for you'll enjoy many rewards by answering your calling.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.