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What a Difference Your Life Purpose Can Make, by Ronelle Coburn

(Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal.)

Recently, one of my students said, "I wish I could have known you from before."

I was puzzled and asked, "Before? Before what?"

"Before you were living your Life Purpose so fully," he replied.

"I don’t know if you'd believe it even if you could see it," I said, shaking my head.

"Well, somehow I think it would be very interesting," he said sheepishly, his eyes twinkling and his lips grinning wryly under his handlebar mustache.

I moved recently, and my passport disappeared into the chaos (along with my car stereo faceplate, my partner's flight log book, and his favorite fishing reel). I keep randomly taking five minutes to search anywhere I can just in case it chooses to reveal itself. So much of my stuff is still jumbled up in boxes, and while rifling through one of them I came across some stray photos that must have been in a bottom drawer somewhere. And there it was, the picture of how I was before I began living my Life Purpose, the one mapped out in my fingerprints. I picked the photo up and took a good look. There she is, in a puffy-shouldered pink sweater with a pattern of darker bows across the chest, slumped so far down in a chair that her hands and elbows are supporting her by leaning on her lap. Knees together, head tilted down with eyes gazing sideways at something to the left of the camera. A wallflower succeeding at invisibility who doesn't feel at all comfortable or confident. She looks wilted, frightened, unsure, depressed, and flat-out miserable. I can tell the picture was taken during one of my college holidays, at my grandparent's house, when they were still alive. The table is laid out in the background and an antique lamp I now have in my office is also in the background. There is no one else in the picture. Despite the family holiday setting, the young woman looks desperately alone.

What a difference getting on purpose makes!

Twenty years later I am a successful business artist with my own business, trainings, public speaking events, private clients, and lots of travel. I meet thousands of people each year, and work with an average of five hundred as private consultation clients and students. I am confident about myself and make my living from my own creative self-expression, and I love getting up every morning to get the honor of stepping into others' lives with them and help them see their own highest potential by decoding their destiny—their Life Purpose—for them from their fingerprints. I get updates from clients about what they're up to and how helpful their sessions were for them; I simply love supporting my students along and getting the absolute privilege of seeing them take on their challenges, step into their own purposes over time, and simply blossom. And now, I'm the author of my first book, called Destiny at Your Fingertips, which I wrote for those who are tired of wondering what their purpose is and who are ready to find it out in order to live it.

It's been many years since I was depressed every moment of every day of my life. The road to inhabiting my Life Purpose was not an easy one. It takes effort to step into your Life Purpose and embody it over time, evolve into it. People are often surprised when they learn what I went through, because I was completely clueless about my purpose and resisted it tooth and nail until my life just stopped working entirely, especially my career and my health. I had to change…or either be physically ill the rest of my life, unable to work, and spend my life wanting to die. This is not an exaggeration. I spent the first thirty years of my life with a critical voice inside my head telling me I did not deserve to exist, want, or need anything, and that I should just get it over with. I even had a name for this habit of thinking—the "suicide tapes" I went through both a huge career crisis and a financial crisis, and finally found my purpose the hard way, the way most of us do. Once I started down this path I took a deep breath and haven't looked back; my life has just gotten better and better. Now I can't imagine living any other life than the one I've got. I know where I belong in the world and how to use my talents to make a contribution only I can make.

What would it mean to you to be able to know who you are, what direction your life wants to take, and what you need to do about it to get there? Can you imagine what it would be like to have an instruction manual for your life, available at all times, that you could consult at any time when making a decision or taking an action? How much would it be worth to you to know how to use your will power to begin taking conscious steps to make your Life Purpose happen? So many people are seeking the purpose of their life these days, probably in higher numbers than ever before. Humans have been asking, "Who am I? Why am I here? What is my life about?" for as long as we can all remember. But there has been no clear and definitive answer to these questions…until now.

Your fingerprints are formed five months before you are born and do not change. They go far beyond identifying you physically: they tell you who you are, what your enduring unchangeable transpersonal psychology is. We call this your Soul Psychology. It's the state of conscious awareness you want to live in where life feels best to you. It's your Zone of Fulfillment, your direct "aha!" spot. There are many misperceptions about what Life Purpose is—most of which are really about your changeable values, principles, beliefs, and goals. Wanting to buy a house or lose weight or find your life partner are all important goals, but any one of these is not your Life Purpose. Promoting peace, loving everyone, serving the world, and your personal spiritual belief system are essential to your well-being, but the fact that you can change what you believe indicates that these things are not your individual purpose either. Your aptitudes and skills are often mistaken for your purpose, but just because you're good at cleaning toilets doesn't mean that doing this all day gives you a deep sense of fulfillment. Your destiny is more specific than any of these things, and often isn't anything you even start off thinking you're good at or in which you're interested.

One of my clients is a life coach with a specialty in Attention Deficit Disorder. She wanted to make a training video and travel around the country to interview a bunch of authorities on the topic, but couldn't figure out how to raise the high quantities of money it would take to do this. When we had our session together we found that her fingerprints denoted that she is supposed to be doing her own creative self-expression in the spotlight as an authority. After our session she had a "eureka!" moment when she realized she's supposed to be the star of her training DVD. She then produced it in on a shoestring budget, in one day, and within a year was working on two more and spreading the word about her work. She is helping more people with ADD understand themselves and their special talents, and is being contacted and consulted as the expert she truly is. One year after our appointment she stopped to see me at the conference where we'd met the year before to show me what she'd accomplished. It was a wonderful moment for both of us and it was remarkable to me how different she looked, how bright and energetic she was compared to the previous year. She was the star she was born to be, and owning it was helping her to help more people and to do so more easily than she'd originally imagined. Finding this aspect of her purpose helped her become aware of her potential and to step into it with conscious awareness more quickly than she might have otherwise. Wow.

In my work with people, this type of extraordinary thing happens all the time. Learning your Life Purpose sheds light on your life; it gives you a larger and more compassionate viewpoint for own life and the lives of others. You appreciate what you're yearning to step up to and can better stop and acknowledge yourself as you choose to shape your life, rather than be driven by it. It gives you the encouragement, empowerment, and direction you need to determine your own life and face your challenges, rather than drifting along and taking the path of least resistance.

If you're ready to know your own personal destiny, your own Life Purpose, the life you ultimately would love to wake up and live, it's just waiting for you. All you have to do is translate it, and discovering your Life Purpose from your fingerprints isn't hard to do. What are you waiting for? Every minute of your finite life is precious. Why not find out how to wring every ounce of meaning out of it you can?

Article originally published in The Llewellyn Journal. Copyright Llewellyn Worldwide, 2008. All rights reserved.

I'm a psychic reader too, and I really respect your work. I have a question about how you ladies handle clients who come back to you time after time with the same basic problem. For example, I have a client who hates her job with a passion, and has for some four years now. I know that fear is holding her back from making a leap into something better, but I don't know how to help her create a breakthrough. Spirit offers her all sorts of great advice, but she's one of those people who always say, Yes, but... followed by why she can't act on the advice at this point in time. I often see this sort of thing in my work. What do you tell a client who comes back with the same problem month after month, year after year? I feel like she's wasting her money and my time, and I'm starting to think I should just tell her that she must not really want something new, or she'd have it by now! Thanks in advance for your advice.

- Celeste

Dreamchaser:

You hit the nail on the head with this one! Of course your client doesn't really want change, or she would have gotten it by now.

There are all kinds of reasons why people stay stuck. Most people just do not know how to get from point A to point Z, and they think that they need to have some grand plan all worked out before they start.

We readers need to remember to tell our clients that everyone who ever had a great idea did NOT know exactly how they were going to accomplish it at first - they just knew it was a good idea, and that they were going to do it.

Your client does not need to figure out the HOW or the WHEN, she just needs to focus on the WHAT. She has to choose what she actually wants in a job before anything will start to move for her.

When I bailed on corporate America and was asking the Universe for my own perfect job, I requested a situation where I could be a mom first, work at home, pay the bills and have some play money, and that is exactly what I got.

That is the point that your client has not yet grasped: She can't see HOW change will come to her, so even though she may wish for it, she doesn't actually believe that she can have it. Then she just manifests more experiences that reinforce her belief that she can't have what she wants.

She is also afraid of changing and failing, and she has come to define herself by this job, so she's not sure who she will be if she leaves it behind.

Celeste, you have to remember that you are not responsible for how your clients live their lives or any of the choices they make. All you can do is give them the messages you have for them and be there for them when they need you. You can't make anyone do anything they don't want to do.

Also, remember that if she wasn't talking to you, she could very well be talking to someone who is less responsible than you are, who may take advantage of her state of mind. She could potentially be targeted by someone who would take her money and not give her helpful, useful guidance because she is so desperate for change. You are doing her a good service by giving her your time and attention.

Her path is her path, and this struggle is part of that path. I agree that our goal is to get a client to where they are happy and prosperous on all levels, but if someone doesn't move forward, that doesn't mean you are a failure - it just means that they are stuck.

As I see it, those are the clients that need us the most. They need our strength, patience, love and concern for them. Yes, it can be maddening to see them spin their wheels for years and years. You do need to be frank with your clients, but in a very loving manner. They know when we are being truthful, and they appreciate our honesty.

I wish you peace with all your clients and reading experiences.

*****

Astrea:

If someone wants change, I can help. If someone wants to just emote, forget it! I have next to no tolerance for that.

It's hard to respect someone who is circling the drain and at the same time draining YOU. Also, once you begin to feel less respect for a person, can you really do your best work for them anymore?

If your client says they want something different than what they have, and doesn't change in a reasonable amount of time, they become a big waste of time and energy for YOU.

I have found that reading for people like this is a good way to lose your psychic gifts, so send them away to another responsible reader, and don't feel guilty about it.

When clients return time after time without making any progress or changes, I realize they're not really getting anything from me. I am not doing this work for the money only: I feel a deep obligation to every person who comes to me, and I want them to get what they're paying for. If that's for someone to just agree with them and nothing more, forget it.

On the other side of this issue is the person who simply needs to talk to someone who won't judge them for their true thoughts and feelings. We all need that sort of understanding sometimes.

Of course, I've never been the sort of person to gently tell anyone ANYTHING. Since I'm a Sag, I'm naturally blunt and outspoken, and it's cost me many a psychic reading client. If someone just wants to hear how wonderful they are and how awful everyone else is, I'm not the reader for them.

Sadly, there are hundreds of fake readers out there who will tell a person anything he or she wants to hear over and over, just to take their money. I can't do it. I think it's WRONG. Those people who don't really want to change can find someone to listen to them babble on for a price, but it won't be me.

I can't count the times I've said, I am NOT helping you! and BLIP - I never see that person again. Whose loss is that, really? I think it's theirs, because they had a sincere reader who was poised and ready to help, and they threw that assistance right back.

We can't do anything to change another person's life, and the people who come to us with the same problems year after year are simply complaining to us because none of their friends will listen to them anymore. They have to pay us to do that because no one else is interested.

Those people bore the daylights out of me, and if you're smart, you'll cut them loose. They don't respect you; you're just the help - a psychic servant. Don't fall into that role! Someone will replace them who really wants a reading and truly needs your help. Make room for the people who really want to create positive change in their lives, and drop the dead weight.

You never know - you dropping those stuck clients may be just what they need to see the light.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.