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    • I Choose Happiness

      by Renée Peterson Trudeau

      I was having dinner with friends late last year. Most of us were experiencing various stages of disequilibrium in our lives - my husband had just gotten laid off from his tech job, my friend was navigating a divorce, and my neighbor's house was being foreclosed.

      My friend Susan asked me, So, how are you? I paused for a minute, then replied, Actually, I'm great. I'm feeling really good. She looked at me with confusion. She didn't understand how I could be doing well when I was navigating so many personal challenges.

      I think happiness is a choice, and in this moment, this day, this is how I'm choosing to feel, I replied.

      I didn't always make this choice. Three of my immediate family members died unexpectedly between my twenty-sixth and thirty-fourth birthdays. Throughout most of my twenties and into my early thirties, I let those losses dictate how much, how often, and when I could experience joy. For years, anytime I started to feel light, free, or happy, the old feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop would creep in.

      We all want to be happy, but where does happiness come from? To be happy, do we need things to be perfect, so that the feeling flutters down upon us like a butterfly on a sun-drenched, perfect-temperature, not-a-cloud-in-the-sky day? Or can we learn to be happy despite our imperfections and old wounds? Haven't we all played the I'll be happy when... game? I'll be happy when I've finished my project, have a new job, graduated school, finalized my divorce, gotten paid, figured out my life purpose...and on and on and on. Can you only be happy if things are going your way and all the stars are aligned in your favor?

      In recent years, there's been a lot of focus on the psychology of happiness, and one thing is clear: happiness isn't something that happens to us; it's something we create. At an international coaching conference, I heard author and teacher Tal Ben-Shahar discuss how much power we have over our ability to be happy. We create our happiness when we help others express gratitude, live more in the present, and take time for soul-nourishing, deeply absorbing work and activities. Conversely - surprise, surprise - true happiness is not derived from the accumulation of stuff or the typical pleasures and gratifications we often pursue.

      I believe that we're born with the innate capacity to experience emotional well-being and joy; it's our birthright to feel good. God wants us to feel good. Most of us just forget this as we head out into the wooded forest to search for Pandora's box, certain that the secret to happiness has to be out there...somewhere.

      On my son's last day of third grade, we hosted an end-of-year school party. Moments after everyone had arrived, my husband called to let me know he'd just been laid off from his tech job. Summer is my favorite time of year. I love the fresh peaches and basil, I love cold swims in our local rivers, I love reading and more reading, and I love enjoying a slower pace with my family. I wanted to be supportive of my partner and fully on board to take over as the primary provider for my family for a while, but if I spent the entire summer preoccupied with worry and going into a spin cycle over our finances, summer would pass me by. I'd wake up on Labor Day having missed some of the best days of the year!

      So I consciously decided that just because life had thrown us a curve ball didn't mean we had to stop living. That summer of unemployment included some challenges, but it also included making frozen blueberry-banana smoothies on a stick (my son's invention), late-evening picnics, refreshing swims in Texas's natural springs, and some of the most tender, connected, joyful moments my family has ever experienced. It helped that we'd been through a layoff one time before, and we knew this was merely a bump in the road.

      Happiness bubbles up from our spring of well-being (which needs tending to flow). We're wired for happiness. We just have to remember to choose this and consciously return here moment to moment. I was once challenged by my friend Erin, a leadership coach, to think a better thought! When we can see how our negative thoughts and our state of being are contributing to our unhappiness - shifts can occur.

      Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write out the top five things that bring you back to a state of joy or happiness. While we feel satisfaction after completing a successful project or we enjoy the momentary high that comes from a promotion or from doing something new and exciting, these things fade and aren't always within our reach. In fact, if we are too focused on pursuing them, they could adversely affect our joy and well-being - such as if they impact our relationships and the amount of time we enjoy with our family.

      More and more, I'm realizing that the less I feel I have to do, and the simpler my life is, the happier I am. The quickest and easiest route to happiness is choosing to reconnect with that inner well of happiness and joy that resides within me.


      Excerpted from the excellent new book Nurturing the Soul of Your Family, ©2013 Renée Peterson Trudeau. Printed here with the permission of the publisher, New World Library.

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    • Double Vision: Does Dream Reveal Guardian Angel?

      A few months ago, I was sort of hit by a car while crossing the street. I say sort of because even though the car should have hit me dead on, somehow it just grazed me and knocked me to the side of the road. I can distinctly remember being right in front of the car and looking directly at it bearing down on me, but somehow I wasn't mowed down. I had a big bruise but otherwise I was unharmed. Both the driver and I were badly shaken because it seemed like I should have been killed. Following the accident, I began to have a recurring dream in which a flash of white light knocks me out of the way of the car. It's the same every time: I realize I'm about to be hit when this white thing moving at the speed of light pushes me toward the side of the road. What do you think this dream means?

      Steven

      I believe that the dreams you are having combined with the near-accident itself are evidence of a supernatural force that moved in to keep you from being hit by this car. This sort of experience usually indicates that your spirit guides or guardian angels realized that you were in danger and instantly gathered all their light force to generate enough energy to move you out of harm's way.

      The white light you saw is the form these divine helpers typically take when they need to act quickly. While spiritual entities can appear as apparitions, it is more common for them to be seen as light. This experience was so powerful that it keeps coming up in your dreams to try to let you know that something amazing happened.

      There are two types of spiritual awakenings. The first is emotional and unfolds over a long period of time. These sorts of awakenings may occur after unsettling events like the loss of a loved one or the breakup of a relationship. Long-term health and emotional struggles also tend to gradually generate new spiritual awareness and understanding.

      The second type of spiritual awakening happens quickly, within a matter of weeks. When a person faces a serious threat such as a fatal accident, their awareness is so heightened that soon after, they begin to drastically change their lives. Your near-accident was a wake-up call to take a closer look at the path you are on and prepare to move to a new level.

      You may have noticed your senses becoming stronger after the accident. You may hear more clearly, notice the world around you more, and appreciate things from a brand new perspective. This happens over a matter of weeks. In the process, new psychic abilities begin to show themselves. Your intuition should be operating at a stronger level now, and you may feel more in tune with others.

      Your dreams are reminding you to embrace the experience as a second chance. Like the apostle Paul who was struck down by a white light and immediately changed his ways, you now have the opportunity to make some sweeping changes to your life. Some dreams are designed to urge us forward; if we ignore their messages, they continue until we give them credence. Once you embrace the message of this whole experience, the dreams should stop occurring.

      When you look at this experience from this angle, you can see that it was a blessing in disguise that is awakening you to a new level of awareness and higher level of experience.

      *****

      Oceania:

      It was not your time to leave this world, so your guardian angel intervened to save you. These dreams are now trying to tell you that you've been given a second chance. The fact that you're paying heed to these dreams suggests you're ready to undertake a spiritual quest. It's time to become your radiant best in every aspect of your being.

      The four tarot suits represent the four elements and are powerful symbols for the four major aspects of being human.

      Pentacles represent the Earth element and being your best physically. Start thinking about a healthier diet and exercise routine. Address any medical issues. Assess your home environment: Is it a sacred space that reflects the true you and nurtures your essence? Clean out your closets and drawers of clutter.

      Cups represent the Water element and your emotional life. Are there any old feelings from the past that need to be acknowledged and cleared? Commit to emotional maturity and expressing your feelings in a calm, clear manner. Connect with your heart energy and express love to the people who matter most to you. Receive the gifts of being alive. Play and enjoy each day.

      Swords represent the Air element, which governs your mind, imagination and intellect. Commit to reading good books. Take a class on a topic you're curious about. Learn a new skill. Play with puzzles and games to keep your mind sharp. Choose to think positive thoughts. Make a list of outlandish goals and your wildest, craziest dreams.

      Wands represent the Fire element and your soul. Be a bigger better person, a spiritual warrior, and part of something greater. Volunteer in your community. Sport an attitude of gratitude.

      Inventory your character strengths and weaknesses, and after owning your weaknesses, write down potential strengths you could replace those with! Make a list of your values and start choosing your behaviors accordingly; it will give you a deeper sense of integrity. Integrate the four shining aspects of yourself (Body, Heart, Mind, and Soul), and proactively select a path with passion and purpose. Think back to childhood and make a list of everything you ever wanted to be when you grew up. Define your unique interests, gifts and talents and consider how you can best be of service to the world.

      You were gifted with a fresh start and a fresh perspective on how precious life is. Ponder this profound opportunity and then go make the most of it!

      Astrea:

      Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

      Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

      While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

      I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

      As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

      I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

      You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

      Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

      A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

      You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.

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