KAJAMA.COM NEWSLETTER

by Cindy Attar

Quite often in a reading, all sorts of thoughts, feelings, and pictures will come to me that I don't have time to communicate or explain during that particular live chat session. Most of this is best labeled thought energy. Let me explain what thought energy is, how we all experience it, and how understanding it can help us align with peace, love and healing.

If you have a connection with someone, whether it's a casual friendship, a deeply loving relationship, or something in between, there is always an overhead cloud of the thoughts and feelings you exchange that encompasses the two of you. Let's say you're a woman, and we're talking about your relationship with your husband. Your thoughts/feelings about him he gets on some level, whether he is conscious of that or not. Similarly, on some level, you can feel his thoughts and feelings about you. What you are sensing is what I call thought energy.

While each person is both a sender and receiver of thought energy, most people are stronger at either sending or receiving. Which do you feel you are stronger at, sending or receiving? Being empathic, I definitely am a strong and sensitive receiver. I'm so sensitive, in fact, that if the other party has a prominent presence (is a strong sender), his thought energy can hit me like a basketball on the head. I also have known people who have such a light presence that I didn't even know they were there! As a born empath, I've been aware of this ability all my life. I know how/what a person is thinking by tapping into their thought energy. This skill is what makes me a great intuitive reader for others.

Thought energy in the cloud - his and yours - can feel like it ALL originated within you. The unaware sensitive receiver (you) can easily mistake his thought energy for your own thoughts/feelings towards him. This is the source of a lot of the confusion that arises in relationships. How you feel about someone may be how they actually feel about YOU; you aren't so much feeling that way, as picking it up.

How do you know if the thought energy is yours or his? One way is to just use logic. Ask yourself if how you feel about someone makes sense given all the dynamics of the relationship. If it doesn't make sense, or it feels confusing, you may want to look more deeply. If you're left puzzled as to why you feel the way you do, take a closer look, and consider the possibility that what you feel for him is actually what HE feels for you, and you are simply picking up his thought energy.

If you are a strong, sensitive receiver in the relationship, and you want to split up and move on, but you just can't seem to detach, you may mistakenly conclude you are meant to be together. In reality, it may be that he is keeping the connection alive and preventing you from leaving by drawing you in with his thought energy toward you.

On the other hand, if you are a strong, sensitive receiver, and you have lost some of the closeness you used to have, it most likely is because he isn't as present as he was before: his thought energy is going elsewhere. Don't automatically jump to the conclusion that he has another woman. There could be all sorts of reasons he is sending his energy elsewhere. He could be focused on work or some pressing problem or issue, so it's best to just ask him what's going on.

If you are a strong sender and someone you don't want to be with keeps bothering you, you may be subconsciously keeping that connection alive by thinking about that person, either out of fear that they will keep bothering you, fear that you will hurt their feelings, fear that you will regret pushing them away when you're alone, or all sorts of other reasons. By thinking about that person, you draw them toward you.

Whenever you find yourself unable to change a pattern or end a relationship, detachment is needed. If, for example, your husband isn't as present for the relationship as he was before, then detaching will give him much needed mental space to work on whatever is troubling him, or your absence might just make his heart grow fonder and get his attention and energy to return to you. I often counsel my clients to detach, to go on with your life, or to withdraw your energy. For more information how to detach, see An Easy Way to Detach.

In summary, it's important to keep in mind that what you're thinking and feeling about someone may be mixed up with what they're thinking and feeling about you. By becoming conscious of what is happening, you can take the energetic reins and steer your course toward whatever you are desiring to create in your life.

Cindy Attar has been helping people move forward in life for many years. She has a unique way of utilizing her intuition that offers powerful insights to questions about relationships, career goals, and life situations. Cindy's gifts include mediumship: she can intuitively connect with departed loved ones and deliver messages from them. She also has an extraordinary gift for hearing animals and relaying their messages. Cindy has recently joined Kajama's team of psychics, and for a limited time, she is offering a special introductory price of ONLY $15 for email readings. She also offers gift certificates for holiday giving. Cindy has written three books, which can be found on her website, CindyAttar.com. To schedule a reading with Cindy, visit CindyAttar.com today.

I'm not psychic; I have no abilities whatsoever. However, somehow I am able to foretell the outcomes of my friends' relationships, especially the bad ones. For years I've been able to correctly predict how long my friends' relationships will last. I will meet a friend's boyfrind for the first time and tell her not to waste her time. I've predicted what will happen with at least ten of my friends. Last year on the day one of my best friends got married, I took her aside and begged her not to go through with it. She didn't listen to me, and three months down the road, she caught her new husband in bed with another woman. Now they're separated. I'm wondering if I am sensing the future or somehow sending bad karma to my friends' love lives. Your thoughts?

Doreen

Susyn:

Everyone has psychic abilities; the difference lies in whether or not they choose to acknowledge or use them. Most likely, your ability to predict the outcome of your friends' relationships is based on experience. As a somewhat objective third party, it's easier for you to identify the men who will end up breaking your friends' hearts than it is for them to see it coming.

You are not sending bad karma to your friends; in fact, you are trying to protect them. You may prefer to think of your gift as a gut instinct more than a psychic ability, or attribute your sense that something is not right to your intuition.

Because you are a Scorpio born in October, you carry some Libra traits as well. Since the sign of Libra rules relationships, you have an edge when it comes to predicting how well your friends will do with certain people. Scorpios also have an edge when it comes to ferreting out a person's true heart or motives; this helps you to predict when a connection is not going to work out.

Although you have been highly accurate in these predictions, it's not because you want bad things to happen to your friends. When they ignore your warning, try to keep in mind that everyone is on their own spiritual path. If they get involved in a relationship that turns challenging or painful, it's not because you saw it coming but because they have important spiritual lessons to learn.

When you advise your friends in the future, you may want to take a different approach. When you question their choices, they will tend to get defensive and try to convince themselves that this is the right man for them. This is similar to when parents forbid their children to see certain people, which tends to make the children even more determined to do so.

Instead of pointing out all the things that are wrong with the men your friends choose, you might focus on your friends and the reasons for their choices. For instance, do they like this person because the person likes them? Are they giving up activities or personal freedoms to be in these relationships? Do they really know the person they are with? This gives them an opportunity to consider any hidden reasons they may be attracted to inappropriate people.

This approach will prove to be more effective in terms of helping your friends avoid making relationship mistakes. Those of us who are keenly psychic and can predict the future must be very careful about how we reveal certain information to others, for our approach can make all the difference in terms of whether or not people are open to hearing what we have to say.

*****

Oceania:

I think you have more psychic potential than you realize. However, it is best to apply intuitive insights to your own life first and foremost, and offer them to others only upon invitation.

Instead of thinking of your friends' short-term relationships as bad, think of them as exactly right for that period in their lives. Though not all relationships go the distance, they're valuable just the same. Shorter ones tend to be learning relationships in which we learn just what we need to learn so we can carry those lessons forward into our next relationship.

Instead of telling a friend not to waste her time when she begins dating someone new, support her in trusting her judgment and making her own decisions. We can never know what is right for another person, so to assume that we know is arrogant. Replace that attitude with humbleness and a sense of humor.

If a friend's relationship ends, she will appreciate your compassion and positive outlook. Instead of offering I told you so energy, listen with love and suggest that a lesson, gift or blessing might emerge from the experience.

There was a hint of arrogance about your keeping score of how often you correctly predicted the downfall of your friends' relationships. It would serve you better to keep score of how often you celebrate and share their happiness when things are going well, and how often you offer them empathy and compassion when they are in pain.

If you had grave concerns about your friend's upcoming marriage, it would have been more caring to gently share those long before the wedding day, and if she chose to disregard your concerns, to let them go. Your friends have the right to live their lives as they see fit, make their own mistakes, and learn their own lessons.

If you felt you could not in good conscience support the wedding, it would have been appropriate to gracefully bow out of attending. To pull someone aside on the day of the event and beg them not to get married is far from helpful. Your negativity tainted her special day; in this way, you betrayed your friend as much as her new husband did, so I think an apology is in order.

You don't say whether YOU are in a relationship. Perhaps you are focusing too much on your friends' lives as a way of avoiding your own problems, or perhaps you fear their romances will take away from their friendships with you. New relationships do tend to take top priority so friendships may fall back a bit, but you can view those times as opportunities to make new friends or focus on building a rewarding romantic relationship of your own.

Astrea:

Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.