Double Vision: She’s Desperate to Dream of Departed Husband

My husband passed away two months ago. Why haven't I dreamed about him? He didn't even show me signs that he would leave us soon. I have never experienced dreams about departed love ones before, not even my father, whom I loved most. I have been wanting to see and talk to them in my dreams but it's not happening. What does this mean, and what can I do? Please help!



I know you are anxious to dream about your husband, but these processes can take a bit of time. Also, when your husband's spirit comes to you, he may choose a different manner in which to communicate with you than your dreams. When a loved one leaves us, especially if it's unexpected, we are naturally overcome with emotion and must travel through the grief cycle. Your husband is going through this same process; before he can come to you, he has to acclimate himself to the profound changes he has just experienced. It can take anywhere from six weeks to three months after dying before a spirit is able to communicate with us, so you may need to wait a bit longer before you dream of or hear from him.

As a psychic channeler, even I have had difficulty reaching someone who is newly departed. I recall channeling for a woman who had lost her father six weeks prior. He came to us during the session, but could only write down what he wanted to say, as he was not yet able to communicate directly.

It may seem ironic, but the more profound our feelings of loss, the harder it can be to connect with someone who has passed. If we are still working through our grief and overcome with sorrow, that heaviness can block communication. To connect, we must move beyond this state of shock, which simply takes time. Of course, another factor is how open we are to communicating with spirits in general. This can work both ways: for example, if your father was deeply skeptical of spiritual phenomena, he may have refused to even entertain the possibility. This could explain why he has never visited you in your dreams.

As time passes, spirits become more capable of reaching out to us. While they often appear in our dreams, they can also use other methods to connect with us. Certain smells, favorite songs or unexpected memories are all signals to watch out for. There are endless ways our loved ones can let us know they are near, so you'll have to trust your intuition above all.

If, after three more months, you have still not connected with your husband's spirit, I suggest you schedule a session with a professional medium. During this meeting, you will be able to connect with your husband and share back and forth. The medium may also be able to call in your father so you can speak directly with him as well.

Please keep in mind that not all people dream about their departed loved ones. Luckily, there are many other ways to interact with their spirits that do not involve waiting until something happens. I am confident that your husband's spirit is nearby, and that when he is able, he will reach out to you through your dreams or find some better way to connect with you.



I'm sorry about your deep disappointment in not being able to meet departed loved ones in your dreams. It's clear that you long to be with them again, and believe a dream rendezvous would help alleviate your sadness and loneliness. You may also be feeling angry given that you lost your spouse without warning or a chance to say goodbye.

I recommend you join a bereavement group, which you can find at a local hospital, church or community center, as it would provide you an opportunity to express your feelings to others who are coping with similar losses. When we can't get what we want, consolation can still be found in sharing our pain, especially with people who understand. Although you miss your loved ones, you might move toward healing by forming new bonds with the living. Though it can be hard to see in the moment, profound loss can lead to unexpected gains and joys.

Although you can't force anyone - living or dead - to communicate with you, you can do your best to express yourself clearly to them. I recommend you write heartfelt letters to your husband and father and then read them aloud while assuming your loved ones can hear you. After that, write letters to yourself from each of them; just let the words flow without analyzing them. This exercise may be the first step in opening up channels of communication between you and the two most important men in your life.

Proactive communication like this can also be applied to the living. Many of the clients I've worked with over the years have expressed sadness about losing touch with family members and friends, while assuming the other person just doesn't care. My clients were almost always welcomed with open arms when they reached out with a sincere desire to reconnect and with an apology for their part in any misunderstandings that may have occurred.

I'm not sure how long ago you lost your father - the person you say you loved most - but if you haven't fully processed that grief, you may be shut down emotionally. You may not realize you have walls up that are keeping you from growing close to others in an attempt to prevent yourself from feeling pain should you lose them too. We lose everyone we love sooner or later, but if we know how to grieve well, we grow to feel confident about our ability to adjust and bounce back. This confidence frees us to love openly and with abandon now and in the future.

Rather than wait for departed loves ones to come to you in your dreams, I hope you'll proactively reach out to them and to any living loved ones you've lost touch with. Reaching out to fellow mourners in a grief group or online forum would be another important step on your path to healing.


Many times in life we hear, "You will always have what you NEED, but not necessarily what you WANT." Your spirit must have needed to experience the feeling of leaving your human body, and the suggestion in the next chapter of Sylvia Brown's book was all it took to get you there.

Even though you hadn't read it yet, your SOUL recognized the title of that chapter as something it had been seeking, and your soul, knowing that you had that reference to read after your experience, got with it and out you went!

While I don't usually recommend her books, Sylvia Brown has a wide reaching and powerful effect on lots of people. A Gemini like you would be able to relate easily to her writing and put it to good use. Synchronicity - you gotta love it!

I like your description of "getting caught." That's exactly what it feels like, isn't it? One minute you're free and hovering above the room, and the next minute, ZAP! back down into your corporeal form you go!

As a little kid, I loved that "feeling of return." With practice, most of the time we can control that event, but sometimes, when our physical ears hear a distracting noise or something else occurs to knock us back into reality, back we go. With practice you will be able to control your return better.

I find it interesting that you were visiting your mother-in-law and not someone in your own genetic family. Evidently, you and your husband got married for reasons that are even deeper than love. His family's interest in "psychic stuff" will nurture your children in such matters and help them to grow into their own abilities.

You'll never have to be concerned that when your daughter visits them, she'll be discouraged from exploring her own psychic life and power. My parents encouraged me to develop my psychic senses in a time when it wasn't nice to even discuss such things in public. Heck, it's STILL not considered a great topic at the dinner table in some families!

Your kids will get to talk about it ALL and ask questions and read and study. This is going to give them such an edge in life! Talk with your husband about how you want to present this to your kiddos, so that you are united in your approach and ready to tell them their experiences are all natural and okay.

A word or two of warning: Geminis often have difficulty staying grounded in REAL LIFE. Don't get so strung out on your ASTRAL life that you neglect what you're doing here on Earth.

You are at the beginning of a long journey to learn where your power really lies. Try to be patient with this process and take your time.